ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Must I do this?.No, I didn't think so.mwahahaha! But I'm going to do it anyway. I own.many things.but not LOTR, but hey, you never know. Maybe I'll marry a relative of J.R.R. Tolkien's. And then I'll inherit the possession and copyright of LOTR. And THEN I'll show you all and post a big disclaimer that I DO own LOTR. Well, that'll be the day.
Btw~ 123 reviews.123 reviews.I am in shock. ^_^ 123 reviews.wow.
Btw some more~ Alrite! Alrite! According to a few of the reviewers, Aragorn fangirls actually DO exist. So I acknowledge them. *waves*
I promised to give a warning. Here it is. And you had better read it cuz I reeaaaally don't want to be blamed for giving out TTT spoilers. Unless, of course, you already read the book. Well, then, if you have, keep going and skip the warning!
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!
Ok. Now you know that this is a warning. TTT SPOILER WARNING!!!!!
For those who are deprived, spoilers mean HINTS. BIGGER THAN HINTS. Spoilers tell you everything you want to know except that you DIDN'T want to know at that exact moment.
Did that confuse you?
******************************************************** [Legolas and Aragorn and somewhat Gimli make the final decision.]
"Nooo.this can't be.we're out of Tylenol." Legolas held an empty Tylenol can like it was a wine bottle.
"Don't you have Advil?" Aragorn said.
"I DID." Legolas said, rummaging through his pack to hopefully find some more pills.any kind would do.
"We NEED Advil!" Aragorn persisted.
"Don't tell me you're going to suggest that we go after Pippin." Legolas frowned.
"Well, I am. Okay. I'm suggesting that we are going after Pippin," Aragorn suggested.
"How far would we have to run?.all this walking is straining my legs."
"Oh, just a couple miles.maybe more.maybe lots more."
"MILES? Noooooo.."
"C'mon everyone! We're going RUNNING! We're off to see the Advil.the wonderful Advil of.Advil!" Aragorn sang, skipping off in the direction where Pippin went.
"Nooo." Legolas half-heartedly jogged after him.
"Mweeheehee.GOLD.GOOOLDD- hey. Where are you all going? To find gold, did you say? I'M COMING TOO!" Gimli ran and tried to catch up with Legolas and Aragorn, but failing because his legs are too short. Nevertheless, he still ran.
And so.they run.
And run.
And run some more.
Still running.
Running nonstop.
Don't they ever get tired?.
Running like the wind.must be the Tylenol.
"Okee! It's nighttime! We'll rest." Aragorn curled up into a sleeping bag.
"But I'm not tired." Legolas whined.
"Are.you.crazy..?" Gimli panted as he collapsed on the ground in front of Legolas.
"Gimli? Where did you come from?" Legolas was confused.
"I RAN AFTER YOU GUYS! WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
"Ohh.thought you were having an affair with the mysterious disembodied voice. That's all, really," Legolas apparently forgotten that dwarves love to wield their axes whenever they can.
"WHAT? ME? HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THAT UGLY THING?" the mysterious disembodied voice whapped Legolas on the head with a big, heavy branch.multiple times.
"I was joking! JOKING!"
"ME? UGLY THING? WANT TO MEET THE SHARP END OF THIS AXE?? HUH? HUH? DO YOU??"
"SHUT UP!!" Aragorn shrieked. CRACKLE!
"What was that?!" Legolas whipped his head around and faced the forest they were resting by.
"Crackle! Snap! Pop! Rice Krispies, of course," Gimli stated. Aragorn and Legolas rolled their eyes. A white light came slowly towards them.
"Aragorn, we aren't DEAD, are we?" Legolas shaded his eyes.
"Nooo.what gives you that idea?" Aragorn replied.
"Well.there's..white light."
"Could be a flashlight for all you know,"
"Oh. You're right.but hey, being dead was a option too,"
"Okaaay.you read too much Elven lore. It's like Shakespeare. Looks pretty, but can't understand a word of it," Aragorn said.
"Heeeyyy.my ancestors spent millenniums writing those!"
"And look at you now,"
"Why you-!"
"CHILDREN! CHILDREN! WHAT CHILDISH BEHAVIOUR! WHY- Oh! Lookee what I found: all of you!" Gandalf stepped from the shadows with a huge flashlight.
"I told you," Aragorn said triumphantly, blowing a raspberry in Legolas's direction.
"Immature mortal," Legolas sniffed.
"Prissy pointy-eared thing!"
"Dirty scum!"
"Obsessed freak!"
"QUIET! Doesn't anyone NOTICE that I'm not dead? I'm BACK!" Gandalf shouted.
"Oh, it's you," Aragorn blinked.
"You're back? Haven't noticed you were gone.where'd you go?" Legolas scratched his head.wait, that would never happen.no dandruff for Legolas. Legolas.said.
"Oh.hello," Gimli replied.
"That's all I get? No teary 'GANDALF! I MISSED YOU SO! I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!'? No joyous 'OH, RIGHTEOUS LEADER! YOU'RE BACK!'? No enthusiastic 'WE WERE LOST WITHOUT YOU! NOW YOU'RE BACK AND WE LOVE YOU!'?" Gandalf said, hands on his hips. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli thought about this for a minute.
"No, not really."
"I don't recall ever thinking such a thing."
"Nope."
"Oh, foolish children.always lying." Gandalf said.
"I'm not a foolish child! I'm.I'm.I'm.well, I'm around 3000 years old!" Legolas retorted.
"You don't even remember your own age?" Aragorn said, surprised.
"When's your birthday?" Gimli asked.
"How should I remember my birthday? All I know is that one day every year, I get cake, ice cream, and lots of presents. I don't do dates," Legolas shrugged. Everyone else blinked and hanged their heads, praying to the Valar for Legolas. For in that time, it was a shame if you didn't remember your own birthday, much less your age.
"Hello? Back to Gandalf!" Gandalf waves his staff around, accidentally splattering some mud on his brand-new white robe.
"Oh! You finally changed clothes. About time," Legolas said approvingly.
"Great! This robe was supposed to make a great impression on you! I need to take it to the dry-cleaners again."
"Gandalf?" Aragorn said.
"Oh! I see your still sporting those fanciful polka dots! So, how are they? Have they behaved?" Gandalf chuckled.
"What? Behaved? What are you talking about?" Aragorn looked down at his outfit and found that the dots were playing a pretty bouncy game of soccer with one of Aragorn's shirt buttons, "AHHH! THEY MOVE ON MY SHIRT!"
"You never noticed that, Aragorn? I noticed it a long time ago, I just didn't want to tell you, because I thought you already knew," Legolas tried to sound smart. But failed. Like always.
"Oh, shush! You never noticed. The only thing you notice is your looks," Aragorn scoffed.
"Why you-!"
"HUSH, CHILDREN!" Gandalf raised his staff, "Don't make me use Mr. Staff!" Everyone immediately quieted down after that. Something fell to the ground. Legolas swiftly picked it up.
"Gandalf?.Why does this badge say Gandalf the Kite?"
"Give that back! It does NOT say Gandalf the Kite! Or, at least, it's not supposed to anyway.forgot I put it in my sleeve." Gandalf said indignantly.
"Why DOES it say Gandalf the Kite?" Legolas inquired. Gandalf looked miffed.
"Well.the wizards wanted to give me a badge for tripping Saruman and making him fall down 900 flights of stairs but they wanted to make fun of me at the same time. Either that or they misspelled White. Which could be a high possibility!" Gandalf said.
"Sure, Gandalf." Legolas said disbelievingly.
"Why were you gone anyway?" Gimli spoke up.
"Oh.I had tea with the Balrog. You know.never miss an appointment with a Balrog. Nasty tempers they have. Anyway, I was late. He got mad. We had a duel. I won of course," Gandalf swelled up, looking excessively proud. Not unlike Legolas sometimes, actually.
"Hey! Who put that in there??" Legolas shouted, frowning.
"Sorry! Thought it was funny." the mysterious disembodied voice replied from above.
"Well, it's.not!" Legolas struggled to reply with a witty comeback. Failed. As always.
"Duel, Gandalf?." Aragorn raised an eyebrow.
"Just because I look like an old geezer, doesn't mean I am one!"
"Oh yes it does," Legolas chipped in.
"Quiet, you!" Gandalf hissed.
"Bet you he showed his Viagra box to the Balrog and scared him off." Legolas whispered to Aragorn. Aragorn stifled a laugh and nodded.
"I heard that!" a mini-thundercloud appeared above Gandalf's head. And rain poured down from it, "GAH! IT'S COLD! HEY..IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!"
"Sorry! Couldn't resist." everyone could just see the mysterious disembodied voice grinning like the Cheshire Cat. The mini-thundercloud disappeared.
"Grr.let's get off that subject. Where were YOU guys headed?" Gandalf asked.
"Pippin and Merry were abducted by the Urukettes." Legolas shuddered.
"So we're going after them-" Aragorn started.
"How brave of you guys!" Gandalf said appreciatively.
"-to get our Advil back from Pippin," Aragorn finished.
"Never mind." Gandalf sighed, "Anyhow, I was looking for you guys. We're going to the Golden Hall!"
"What?"
"Where?"
"The Golden Hall! Where we're going to meet." Gandalf said dramatically, waited for people's breaths to be held. Gimli made a loud hacking cough-like noise. Gandalf narrowed his eyes, and then continued, ".the King of the Hallmark!!!"
********************************************************
*gasp* King of the Hallmark! (One of my more original ideas, no stealy. Copyright, 2002. There we go.) This should prove to be interesting.
I know, I know, I skipped the part where Legolas and Aragorn and Gimli meet the Rohan people, but I didn't think it was that important. Oh well! Pippin and Merry coming up in the next chapter as well.
This was one of my crap-this-chapter-is-lame chapters, but! *raises index finger* it will be better next chapter.
Review, please? ^______^
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Must I do this?.No, I didn't think so.mwahahaha! But I'm going to do it anyway. I own.many things.but not LOTR, but hey, you never know. Maybe I'll marry a relative of J.R.R. Tolkien's. And then I'll inherit the possession and copyright of LOTR. And THEN I'll show you all and post a big disclaimer that I DO own LOTR. Well, that'll be the day.
Btw~ 123 reviews.123 reviews.I am in shock. ^_^ 123 reviews.wow.
Btw some more~ Alrite! Alrite! According to a few of the reviewers, Aragorn fangirls actually DO exist. So I acknowledge them. *waves*
I promised to give a warning. Here it is. And you had better read it cuz I reeaaaally don't want to be blamed for giving out TTT spoilers. Unless, of course, you already read the book. Well, then, if you have, keep going and skip the warning!
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!
Ok. Now you know that this is a warning. TTT SPOILER WARNING!!!!!
For those who are deprived, spoilers mean HINTS. BIGGER THAN HINTS. Spoilers tell you everything you want to know except that you DIDN'T want to know at that exact moment.
Did that confuse you?
******************************************************** [Legolas and Aragorn and somewhat Gimli make the final decision.]
"Nooo.this can't be.we're out of Tylenol." Legolas held an empty Tylenol can like it was a wine bottle.
"Don't you have Advil?" Aragorn said.
"I DID." Legolas said, rummaging through his pack to hopefully find some more pills.any kind would do.
"We NEED Advil!" Aragorn persisted.
"Don't tell me you're going to suggest that we go after Pippin." Legolas frowned.
"Well, I am. Okay. I'm suggesting that we are going after Pippin," Aragorn suggested.
"How far would we have to run?.all this walking is straining my legs."
"Oh, just a couple miles.maybe more.maybe lots more."
"MILES? Noooooo.."
"C'mon everyone! We're going RUNNING! We're off to see the Advil.the wonderful Advil of.Advil!" Aragorn sang, skipping off in the direction where Pippin went.
"Nooo." Legolas half-heartedly jogged after him.
"Mweeheehee.GOLD.GOOOLDD- hey. Where are you all going? To find gold, did you say? I'M COMING TOO!" Gimli ran and tried to catch up with Legolas and Aragorn, but failing because his legs are too short. Nevertheless, he still ran.
And so.they run.
And run.
And run some more.
Still running.
Running nonstop.
Don't they ever get tired?.
Running like the wind.must be the Tylenol.
"Okee! It's nighttime! We'll rest." Aragorn curled up into a sleeping bag.
"But I'm not tired." Legolas whined.
"Are.you.crazy..?" Gimli panted as he collapsed on the ground in front of Legolas.
"Gimli? Where did you come from?" Legolas was confused.
"I RAN AFTER YOU GUYS! WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
"Ohh.thought you were having an affair with the mysterious disembodied voice. That's all, really," Legolas apparently forgotten that dwarves love to wield their axes whenever they can.
"WHAT? ME? HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THAT UGLY THING?" the mysterious disembodied voice whapped Legolas on the head with a big, heavy branch.multiple times.
"I was joking! JOKING!"
"ME? UGLY THING? WANT TO MEET THE SHARP END OF THIS AXE?? HUH? HUH? DO YOU??"
"SHUT UP!!" Aragorn shrieked. CRACKLE!
"What was that?!" Legolas whipped his head around and faced the forest they were resting by.
"Crackle! Snap! Pop! Rice Krispies, of course," Gimli stated. Aragorn and Legolas rolled their eyes. A white light came slowly towards them.
"Aragorn, we aren't DEAD, are we?" Legolas shaded his eyes.
"Nooo.what gives you that idea?" Aragorn replied.
"Well.there's..white light."
"Could be a flashlight for all you know,"
"Oh. You're right.but hey, being dead was a option too,"
"Okaaay.you read too much Elven lore. It's like Shakespeare. Looks pretty, but can't understand a word of it," Aragorn said.
"Heeeyyy.my ancestors spent millenniums writing those!"
"And look at you now,"
"Why you-!"
"CHILDREN! CHILDREN! WHAT CHILDISH BEHAVIOUR! WHY- Oh! Lookee what I found: all of you!" Gandalf stepped from the shadows with a huge flashlight.
"I told you," Aragorn said triumphantly, blowing a raspberry in Legolas's direction.
"Immature mortal," Legolas sniffed.
"Prissy pointy-eared thing!"
"Dirty scum!"
"Obsessed freak!"
"QUIET! Doesn't anyone NOTICE that I'm not dead? I'm BACK!" Gandalf shouted.
"Oh, it's you," Aragorn blinked.
"You're back? Haven't noticed you were gone.where'd you go?" Legolas scratched his head.wait, that would never happen.no dandruff for Legolas. Legolas.said.
"Oh.hello," Gimli replied.
"That's all I get? No teary 'GANDALF! I MISSED YOU SO! I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!'? No joyous 'OH, RIGHTEOUS LEADER! YOU'RE BACK!'? No enthusiastic 'WE WERE LOST WITHOUT YOU! NOW YOU'RE BACK AND WE LOVE YOU!'?" Gandalf said, hands on his hips. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli thought about this for a minute.
"No, not really."
"I don't recall ever thinking such a thing."
"Nope."
"Oh, foolish children.always lying." Gandalf said.
"I'm not a foolish child! I'm.I'm.I'm.well, I'm around 3000 years old!" Legolas retorted.
"You don't even remember your own age?" Aragorn said, surprised.
"When's your birthday?" Gimli asked.
"How should I remember my birthday? All I know is that one day every year, I get cake, ice cream, and lots of presents. I don't do dates," Legolas shrugged. Everyone else blinked and hanged their heads, praying to the Valar for Legolas. For in that time, it was a shame if you didn't remember your own birthday, much less your age.
"Hello? Back to Gandalf!" Gandalf waves his staff around, accidentally splattering some mud on his brand-new white robe.
"Oh! You finally changed clothes. About time," Legolas said approvingly.
"Great! This robe was supposed to make a great impression on you! I need to take it to the dry-cleaners again."
"Gandalf?" Aragorn said.
"Oh! I see your still sporting those fanciful polka dots! So, how are they? Have they behaved?" Gandalf chuckled.
"What? Behaved? What are you talking about?" Aragorn looked down at his outfit and found that the dots were playing a pretty bouncy game of soccer with one of Aragorn's shirt buttons, "AHHH! THEY MOVE ON MY SHIRT!"
"You never noticed that, Aragorn? I noticed it a long time ago, I just didn't want to tell you, because I thought you already knew," Legolas tried to sound smart. But failed. Like always.
"Oh, shush! You never noticed. The only thing you notice is your looks," Aragorn scoffed.
"Why you-!"
"HUSH, CHILDREN!" Gandalf raised his staff, "Don't make me use Mr. Staff!" Everyone immediately quieted down after that. Something fell to the ground. Legolas swiftly picked it up.
"Gandalf?.Why does this badge say Gandalf the Kite?"
"Give that back! It does NOT say Gandalf the Kite! Or, at least, it's not supposed to anyway.forgot I put it in my sleeve." Gandalf said indignantly.
"Why DOES it say Gandalf the Kite?" Legolas inquired. Gandalf looked miffed.
"Well.the wizards wanted to give me a badge for tripping Saruman and making him fall down 900 flights of stairs but they wanted to make fun of me at the same time. Either that or they misspelled White. Which could be a high possibility!" Gandalf said.
"Sure, Gandalf." Legolas said disbelievingly.
"Why were you gone anyway?" Gimli spoke up.
"Oh.I had tea with the Balrog. You know.never miss an appointment with a Balrog. Nasty tempers they have. Anyway, I was late. He got mad. We had a duel. I won of course," Gandalf swelled up, looking excessively proud. Not unlike Legolas sometimes, actually.
"Hey! Who put that in there??" Legolas shouted, frowning.
"Sorry! Thought it was funny." the mysterious disembodied voice replied from above.
"Well, it's.not!" Legolas struggled to reply with a witty comeback. Failed. As always.
"Duel, Gandalf?." Aragorn raised an eyebrow.
"Just because I look like an old geezer, doesn't mean I am one!"
"Oh yes it does," Legolas chipped in.
"Quiet, you!" Gandalf hissed.
"Bet you he showed his Viagra box to the Balrog and scared him off." Legolas whispered to Aragorn. Aragorn stifled a laugh and nodded.
"I heard that!" a mini-thundercloud appeared above Gandalf's head. And rain poured down from it, "GAH! IT'S COLD! HEY..IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!"
"Sorry! Couldn't resist." everyone could just see the mysterious disembodied voice grinning like the Cheshire Cat. The mini-thundercloud disappeared.
"Grr.let's get off that subject. Where were YOU guys headed?" Gandalf asked.
"Pippin and Merry were abducted by the Urukettes." Legolas shuddered.
"So we're going after them-" Aragorn started.
"How brave of you guys!" Gandalf said appreciatively.
"-to get our Advil back from Pippin," Aragorn finished.
"Never mind." Gandalf sighed, "Anyhow, I was looking for you guys. We're going to the Golden Hall!"
"What?"
"Where?"
"The Golden Hall! Where we're going to meet." Gandalf said dramatically, waited for people's breaths to be held. Gimli made a loud hacking cough-like noise. Gandalf narrowed his eyes, and then continued, ".the King of the Hallmark!!!"
********************************************************
*gasp* King of the Hallmark! (One of my more original ideas, no stealy. Copyright, 2002. There we go.) This should prove to be interesting.
I know, I know, I skipped the part where Legolas and Aragorn and Gimli meet the Rohan people, but I didn't think it was that important. Oh well! Pippin and Merry coming up in the next chapter as well.
This was one of my crap-this-chapter-is-lame chapters, but! *raises index finger* it will be better next chapter.
Review, please? ^______^