Chapter two
A/N: Thank you all so much who have r/r, it means a lot to me. Hugs and kisses to you all! =)
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"Of course I'm worried, Scully." He responded as he edged up in his seat and clasped his hands together on his knees.
The compassion and humanity brightened his soulful brown eyes, it was the look that made her heart ache and transported her to that safe warm place that she wished she could stay forever, yet by some uncontrollable force within her had to try with all her will to cast out. Perhaps it was out of fear of letting him, or anyone for that matter, in to close, or moreover, the fear that came from wanting him to.
She turned her head downward and pulled her lips into her mouth as she usually did when put in the emotional spotlight. "I'm okay." She unsuccessfully attempted to reassure, the fragility thick in her shaky voice.
He reached out and placed his right hand atop of hers. She looked down at it and felt her eyes moisten. She could feel the compassion through the warmth of his touch, and through those eyes that caressed over her. She couldn't make eye contact; that would ultimately be the straw that would break the floodgate of the introverted, cool reserve she was so good at maintaining to reveal a vulnerable, exposed, pile of mush that would collapse onto him. As appealing as it sounded, her ego and compulsive need to feel in control could not handle the consequences that revealing that side of her self entailed. Uncertainty scared the hell out of Dana Scully. Ironically, uncertainty is one of the largest aspects of her career, but if she could have any control over it as it pertained to her personal life, she would denounce it at all costs.
"I just want you to know you're not alone." His voice caught in his throat, his heart racing a billion miles an hour. He was sure she could feel it as well as his hand that rested over hers was throbbing with a consistent high- speed pulse. Had those words actually escaped him? They were as genuine as genuine comes, but he was treading on very thin ice and was fully aware of the fact. Scully didn't realize, or if she did, ignored the fact that Mulder knew her. And in fact, he knew her so well that he could identify what her emotion was, and had become an expert in terms of approaching her in accordance to whatever it was she was feeling. What he didn't know was that she wanted him to be there, she needed him to be there. And on several occasions, needed to be taken into his arms at times she simultaneously seemed to resist him and shut him out. But that is Scully and one of her few flaws. A flaw that made her human and even more desirable, At least as far as Mulder was concerned.
"I know." She managed as she sucked up all the awkward emotion to the pit of her stomach and repeated 'be strong, Dana' over and over in her head. She waited until any moisture that remained in her eyes dissipated before looking up and forced a smile that suggested for him to step back.
Point taken, he let his fingertips drag over her knuckles and the tendons of her hand as he pulled it back to his own body.
After several moments of more silence that had apparently become the theme of the evening, Scully stood. "I'm going to go try to find the bathroom."
"It's down the hall and to the left." He informed her and watched her as she turned the corner to the hall and vanished from his eyesight. He looked up at the antique clock, the one with the bird that pops out and whistles when the hour progresses into another, that hung over the fire place. 9:35. It was going to be a long night. Normally he would rejoice in the idea of being alone with Scully with nothing to do other than engage in conversation, but he felt threatened, hurt, if you will. He felt helpless. If there's one thing Mulder hates more than government conspiracies, it's the feeling of helplessness.
Scully braced herself with both her hands on either side of the washbasin as she gazed in the mirror into her own eyes. Her breathing was rhythmic, even intakes and expulsions of air. She felt like screaming at the top of her lungs and grabbing the glazed metallic green clay soap dish and smashing the mirror. Get control of yourself Dana. You'll be okay. She splashed some cold water on her face and blotted it dry with one of the many hand towels laid out beside the basin in a wicker woven basket. She glanced in the mirror once more and tucked her sun kissed locks behind her ears before she shut off the light and headed down the hall to meet once more with the man she wanted to hold her as she cried her eyes out and release all mental torment that afflicted her.
"He's got HBO." Mulder announced and offered a smile as she resumed her seat in her chair.
*Essere continuato* So what do you think so far? Love it hate it, just 'eh' at it? Let me know! Sctarburstscully@hotmail.com
A/N: Thank you all so much who have r/r, it means a lot to me. Hugs and kisses to you all! =)
*************************************************************
"Of course I'm worried, Scully." He responded as he edged up in his seat and clasped his hands together on his knees.
The compassion and humanity brightened his soulful brown eyes, it was the look that made her heart ache and transported her to that safe warm place that she wished she could stay forever, yet by some uncontrollable force within her had to try with all her will to cast out. Perhaps it was out of fear of letting him, or anyone for that matter, in to close, or moreover, the fear that came from wanting him to.
She turned her head downward and pulled her lips into her mouth as she usually did when put in the emotional spotlight. "I'm okay." She unsuccessfully attempted to reassure, the fragility thick in her shaky voice.
He reached out and placed his right hand atop of hers. She looked down at it and felt her eyes moisten. She could feel the compassion through the warmth of his touch, and through those eyes that caressed over her. She couldn't make eye contact; that would ultimately be the straw that would break the floodgate of the introverted, cool reserve she was so good at maintaining to reveal a vulnerable, exposed, pile of mush that would collapse onto him. As appealing as it sounded, her ego and compulsive need to feel in control could not handle the consequences that revealing that side of her self entailed. Uncertainty scared the hell out of Dana Scully. Ironically, uncertainty is one of the largest aspects of her career, but if she could have any control over it as it pertained to her personal life, she would denounce it at all costs.
"I just want you to know you're not alone." His voice caught in his throat, his heart racing a billion miles an hour. He was sure she could feel it as well as his hand that rested over hers was throbbing with a consistent high- speed pulse. Had those words actually escaped him? They were as genuine as genuine comes, but he was treading on very thin ice and was fully aware of the fact. Scully didn't realize, or if she did, ignored the fact that Mulder knew her. And in fact, he knew her so well that he could identify what her emotion was, and had become an expert in terms of approaching her in accordance to whatever it was she was feeling. What he didn't know was that she wanted him to be there, she needed him to be there. And on several occasions, needed to be taken into his arms at times she simultaneously seemed to resist him and shut him out. But that is Scully and one of her few flaws. A flaw that made her human and even more desirable, At least as far as Mulder was concerned.
"I know." She managed as she sucked up all the awkward emotion to the pit of her stomach and repeated 'be strong, Dana' over and over in her head. She waited until any moisture that remained in her eyes dissipated before looking up and forced a smile that suggested for him to step back.
Point taken, he let his fingertips drag over her knuckles and the tendons of her hand as he pulled it back to his own body.
After several moments of more silence that had apparently become the theme of the evening, Scully stood. "I'm going to go try to find the bathroom."
"It's down the hall and to the left." He informed her and watched her as she turned the corner to the hall and vanished from his eyesight. He looked up at the antique clock, the one with the bird that pops out and whistles when the hour progresses into another, that hung over the fire place. 9:35. It was going to be a long night. Normally he would rejoice in the idea of being alone with Scully with nothing to do other than engage in conversation, but he felt threatened, hurt, if you will. He felt helpless. If there's one thing Mulder hates more than government conspiracies, it's the feeling of helplessness.
Scully braced herself with both her hands on either side of the washbasin as she gazed in the mirror into her own eyes. Her breathing was rhythmic, even intakes and expulsions of air. She felt like screaming at the top of her lungs and grabbing the glazed metallic green clay soap dish and smashing the mirror. Get control of yourself Dana. You'll be okay. She splashed some cold water on her face and blotted it dry with one of the many hand towels laid out beside the basin in a wicker woven basket. She glanced in the mirror once more and tucked her sun kissed locks behind her ears before she shut off the light and headed down the hall to meet once more with the man she wanted to hold her as she cried her eyes out and release all mental torment that afflicted her.
"He's got HBO." Mulder announced and offered a smile as she resumed her seat in her chair.
*Essere continuato* So what do you think so far? Love it hate it, just 'eh' at it? Let me know! Sctarburstscully@hotmail.com