ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Btw~ Wow.more reviews.so touched. *sniffle* I'm sorry!!! *bows down* Homework and tests and crap are keeping me uber-busy...haven't been on ff.net for a LONG time...
I promised to give a warning. Here it is. And you had better read it cuz I reeaaaally don't want to be blamed for giving out TTT spoilers. Unless, of course, you already read the book. Well, then, if you have, keep going and skip the warning!
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!
Ok. Now you know that this is a warning. TTT SPOILER WARNING!!!!!
For those who are deprived, spoilers mean HINTS. BIGGER THAN HINTS. Spoilers tell you everything you want to know except that you DIDN'T want to know at that exact moment.
Did that confuse you?
No warning. Just pure fun.
******************************************************** Recommended Story: Ends of Earth by Cheshire Review: Wonderful and hilarious story of Elladan and Elrohir. :o) Very detailed and excellent. One of those stories that are absolutely well written but doesn't have enough reviews! (From now on, I'll put in a recommended story for those of you who don't have enough goodies to read. And these authors I do not know personally, so it is an unbiased decision. Hint: If you review, I may read your story and put it on. ^_^)
********************************************************
NOTE: Sorry it's really late and a bit short. School is really bogging me down. Oh, and I'm sorry I'm not focusing on the other characters enough. I will try to in the next few chapters...when I find out where they are at the moment...
********************************************************
[A letter from Arwen...what a frightening thought]
"Hey Aragorn!" Legolas was sorting out the mail that came from the mail-carrier-person, looking for his monthly-subscribed magazine: Elven Vanity. (Big surprise...)
"What?" Aragorn was busy soaking his feet, as they were very sore from standing on a rock wall for hours on end.
"You have a letter!" Legolas held an amused tone. Aragorn froze and managed to utter out a response.
"F-from who?"
"You had to ask?" Legolas's voice was coming nearer (and so was the letter).
"...Yes," Aragorn squeaked.
"Well, it's from Arwen. THAT'S obvious," Legolas plunked down what looked like a package of printer paper in front of Aragorn. "And you better read it too! It was so heavy it probably tore my arm muscles..."
"What arm muscles?..." Aragorn muttered, smirking.
"I heard that!!!" Legolas narrowed his eyes. "Well, I'm off to exercise!" He then flounced away.
"Exercise?? More like primp-ercise," Aragorn muttered, snatching (or rather, hefting) up Arwen's letter. "Great...Won't this be fun...I'm only hoping she wrote in her big handwriting this time..."
FROM: Arwen Evenstar (I'm gonna be the QUEEN of Gondor!!! Mwahaha- ahem) TO: My Shmootsie-Poo Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Son of Aracorn, Son of Araworn, Song of Arahorn, Son of Araporn... AT: Third rock wall on the left at Helm's Deep DATE SENT: today URGENCY: I'm an Elf Princess dammit!!! Send it IMMEDIATELY or someone's head is gonna get chopped off!!!
Dear Arry,
It's your princess! Arwen! Surprised? I finally got the time to write you this. I've been pretty busy, what with shopping and all. There's a list of things I want to discuss with you...
#1. NEVER EVER CHEAT ON ME! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I have my ways of finding out if you do and it's not pretty. And if you do, not only will you be executed, but also you will be executed slowly and painfully. And I'll be watching. Mwahaha!
#2. Your coronation party is all set up! Although it's months (maybe years) away, but no matter! Once you'll be king, I'll be queen! And if you don't mind, I invited my parents and my parents' parents and their parents and their parents...Oh! And my second cousin and cousin and their parents and their parents and their parents and their parents.. My brothers Elladan and Elrohir are coming too. I promise they won't throw pies at the tapestries (nor drop beetle larvae in the soup..nor drop worms down people's shirts...) this time. [Note: I know Arwen probably isn't hanging out at the Gondor place right now, but just...go with the flow for me. Denethor and Faramir and just momentarily absent. Er, yeah.]
#3. About the furniture...I was thinking of replacing the entire set from basement to ceiling. Well, actually I thought about it a while ago. The Elven Woodsmen ("We're the furniture for you!") came and replaced everything. The place looks delightful now! Like a strawberry shortcake!
#4. As for your archery field...I replaced it with a fairy garden. :) Isn't it a LOVELY idea? Yes, I thought so too.
#5. I also had the bathrooms remodeled. You men sit on STONE toilets?? Did you ever think about how that would ruin your future wife? So I had everything changed to white marble and pink carpets. But don't worry, you won't have to use pink towels. Because I bought you purple ones! They were so pretty and fluffy and cute...I couldn't resist.
#6. I happened to find your "secret" wardrobe and all I found was a bunch of rags! (Aragorn: RAGS?? They're not rags! Oh god..please tell me you didn't throw them out....) So of course I threw them out. I replaced them with a nice set of D'Louviear expertly-frilled, lace-bordered, velvety poofy outfits. You'd look more kingly that way, I'm sure of it.
#7. The front entrance of the building is HORRIBLE! No wonder Gondor doesn't get any tourists. So I also had that remodeled to make it look much nicer. You don't mind if it looks a bit more pink than usual, do you? Thanks, I love you!
#8. Where the HELL do you men keep feminine products??? I couldn't find ANY, so I ordered some from Elven Always. There wasn't any room for them so I tossed out your old ancestors' armor I found in a closet by the horse painting. (Don't worry, I think the armor was only a couple million years old...they weren't antiques were they? I thought not.) Well, at least no one will see the "discreet shipment" sitting out in the hallway now.
#9. My father says he'll be visiting often. (Aragorn: O_O;;). So I set up an extra suite for him. You don't mind, do you? He said something like staying for a couple hundred years...maybe it was a couple thousand years...I'm not sure. You can never trust the static in cell phones these days.
#10. If you're going to be a proper KING, you need SILVER utensils, not WOODEN ones! So I replaced them all. People around the castle said that you spent years making those wooden utensils, but I don't believe them. Those wooden forks and spoons were too good-looking.
#11. Oh! Guess what? I found the wedding present you were going to give me. You romantic buffoon...you STUPID romantic buffoon...couldn't you tell that they were FAKE diamonds?? And if you knew they were fake, at least take the price tag off! (Aragorn: ;_; But the guy on the street told me they were real...). So of course I threw it down the well and bought myself a better one. You still owe me another wedding present!
#12. I FOUND YOUR SECRET MAGAZINES!!! (Aragorn: O____O Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit....). HOW COULD YOU? YOU KNOW PRECISELY THAT READING ABOUT DANCING DWARVES AND WHAT THEY DO WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK WILL DO NOTHING BUT CORRUPT YOUR MIND! (Aragorn: ...what?? At least she didn't find the OTHER secret magazines...). AND WHY DID YOU SEND THEM HERE UNDER LEGOLAS'S NAME? (Aragorn: *growl* Legolaaassss....).
#13. Sorry, honey, but I have to go now...
#14. Really...
#15. Write back soon!
#16. Okay, I'm going now
#17. See you!
#18. Miss you!
#19. Bye!
#20. Oh crap...daddy's ink bottle's empty..can't write any mo-
A big THUMP! was heard from Aragorn's tent.
"Aragorn?" Legolas put down his shiny brush. "Aaaaaragorn?" He went over to Aragorn's tent and was about to step into the entrance when-
"Oh, GROSS!" Aragorn's "foot spa" water tub tipped and spilled over the dirt, turning it into (ta da!) mud...into which Legolas's perfectly clean boot squelched. "UGH! Aragorn, you're on your own,"
"Is Aragorn okay?" Soldier #1 asked Legolas.
"Yeah...yeah...fine..." Legolas absentmindedly replied, frowning in disgust as he dragged his foot across the grass, trying to wipe the mud off.
"MEDIC!" A soldier who popped into Aragorn's tent to borrow some shoe shine screamed. Soldier #1 stared at that soldier, then at Legolas's back. He shrugged and continued doing what Gandalf told him to do: prying open the EVIL PINK VIDEOTAPE!
********************************************************
Don't murder me! *ducks* The next chapter will be out much faster now that xmas break is coming! Again, sorry muchlies!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Btw~ Wow.more reviews.so touched. *sniffle* I'm sorry!!! *bows down* Homework and tests and crap are keeping me uber-busy...haven't been on ff.net for a LONG time...
I promised to give a warning. Here it is. And you had better read it cuz I reeaaaally don't want to be blamed for giving out TTT spoilers. Unless, of course, you already read the book. Well, then, if you have, keep going and skip the warning!
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!
Ok. Now you know that this is a warning. TTT SPOILER WARNING!!!!!
For those who are deprived, spoilers mean HINTS. BIGGER THAN HINTS. Spoilers tell you everything you want to know except that you DIDN'T want to know at that exact moment.
Did that confuse you?
No warning. Just pure fun.
******************************************************** Recommended Story: Ends of Earth by Cheshire Review: Wonderful and hilarious story of Elladan and Elrohir. :o) Very detailed and excellent. One of those stories that are absolutely well written but doesn't have enough reviews! (From now on, I'll put in a recommended story for those of you who don't have enough goodies to read. And these authors I do not know personally, so it is an unbiased decision. Hint: If you review, I may read your story and put it on. ^_^)
********************************************************
NOTE: Sorry it's really late and a bit short. School is really bogging me down. Oh, and I'm sorry I'm not focusing on the other characters enough. I will try to in the next few chapters...when I find out where they are at the moment...
********************************************************
[A letter from Arwen...what a frightening thought]
"Hey Aragorn!" Legolas was sorting out the mail that came from the mail-carrier-person, looking for his monthly-subscribed magazine: Elven Vanity. (Big surprise...)
"What?" Aragorn was busy soaking his feet, as they were very sore from standing on a rock wall for hours on end.
"You have a letter!" Legolas held an amused tone. Aragorn froze and managed to utter out a response.
"F-from who?"
"You had to ask?" Legolas's voice was coming nearer (and so was the letter).
"...Yes," Aragorn squeaked.
"Well, it's from Arwen. THAT'S obvious," Legolas plunked down what looked like a package of printer paper in front of Aragorn. "And you better read it too! It was so heavy it probably tore my arm muscles..."
"What arm muscles?..." Aragorn muttered, smirking.
"I heard that!!!" Legolas narrowed his eyes. "Well, I'm off to exercise!" He then flounced away.
"Exercise?? More like primp-ercise," Aragorn muttered, snatching (or rather, hefting) up Arwen's letter. "Great...Won't this be fun...I'm only hoping she wrote in her big handwriting this time..."
FROM: Arwen Evenstar (I'm gonna be the QUEEN of Gondor!!! Mwahaha- ahem) TO: My Shmootsie-Poo Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Son of Aracorn, Son of Araworn, Song of Arahorn, Son of Araporn... AT: Third rock wall on the left at Helm's Deep DATE SENT: today URGENCY: I'm an Elf Princess dammit!!! Send it IMMEDIATELY or someone's head is gonna get chopped off!!!
Dear Arry,
It's your princess! Arwen! Surprised? I finally got the time to write you this. I've been pretty busy, what with shopping and all. There's a list of things I want to discuss with you...
#1. NEVER EVER CHEAT ON ME! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I have my ways of finding out if you do and it's not pretty. And if you do, not only will you be executed, but also you will be executed slowly and painfully. And I'll be watching. Mwahaha!
#2. Your coronation party is all set up! Although it's months (maybe years) away, but no matter! Once you'll be king, I'll be queen! And if you don't mind, I invited my parents and my parents' parents and their parents and their parents...Oh! And my second cousin and cousin and their parents and their parents and their parents and their parents.. My brothers Elladan and Elrohir are coming too. I promise they won't throw pies at the tapestries (nor drop beetle larvae in the soup..nor drop worms down people's shirts...) this time. [Note: I know Arwen probably isn't hanging out at the Gondor place right now, but just...go with the flow for me. Denethor and Faramir and just momentarily absent. Er, yeah.]
#3. About the furniture...I was thinking of replacing the entire set from basement to ceiling. Well, actually I thought about it a while ago. The Elven Woodsmen ("We're the furniture for you!") came and replaced everything. The place looks delightful now! Like a strawberry shortcake!
#4. As for your archery field...I replaced it with a fairy garden. :) Isn't it a LOVELY idea? Yes, I thought so too.
#5. I also had the bathrooms remodeled. You men sit on STONE toilets?? Did you ever think about how that would ruin your future wife? So I had everything changed to white marble and pink carpets. But don't worry, you won't have to use pink towels. Because I bought you purple ones! They were so pretty and fluffy and cute...I couldn't resist.
#6. I happened to find your "secret" wardrobe and all I found was a bunch of rags! (Aragorn: RAGS?? They're not rags! Oh god..please tell me you didn't throw them out....) So of course I threw them out. I replaced them with a nice set of D'Louviear expertly-frilled, lace-bordered, velvety poofy outfits. You'd look more kingly that way, I'm sure of it.
#7. The front entrance of the building is HORRIBLE! No wonder Gondor doesn't get any tourists. So I also had that remodeled to make it look much nicer. You don't mind if it looks a bit more pink than usual, do you? Thanks, I love you!
#8. Where the HELL do you men keep feminine products??? I couldn't find ANY, so I ordered some from Elven Always. There wasn't any room for them so I tossed out your old ancestors' armor I found in a closet by the horse painting. (Don't worry, I think the armor was only a couple million years old...they weren't antiques were they? I thought not.) Well, at least no one will see the "discreet shipment" sitting out in the hallway now.
#9. My father says he'll be visiting often. (Aragorn: O_O;;). So I set up an extra suite for him. You don't mind, do you? He said something like staying for a couple hundred years...maybe it was a couple thousand years...I'm not sure. You can never trust the static in cell phones these days.
#10. If you're going to be a proper KING, you need SILVER utensils, not WOODEN ones! So I replaced them all. People around the castle said that you spent years making those wooden utensils, but I don't believe them. Those wooden forks and spoons were too good-looking.
#11. Oh! Guess what? I found the wedding present you were going to give me. You romantic buffoon...you STUPID romantic buffoon...couldn't you tell that they were FAKE diamonds?? And if you knew they were fake, at least take the price tag off! (Aragorn: ;_; But the guy on the street told me they were real...). So of course I threw it down the well and bought myself a better one. You still owe me another wedding present!
#12. I FOUND YOUR SECRET MAGAZINES!!! (Aragorn: O____O Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit....). HOW COULD YOU? YOU KNOW PRECISELY THAT READING ABOUT DANCING DWARVES AND WHAT THEY DO WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK WILL DO NOTHING BUT CORRUPT YOUR MIND! (Aragorn: ...what?? At least she didn't find the OTHER secret magazines...). AND WHY DID YOU SEND THEM HERE UNDER LEGOLAS'S NAME? (Aragorn: *growl* Legolaaassss....).
#13. Sorry, honey, but I have to go now...
#14. Really...
#15. Write back soon!
#16. Okay, I'm going now
#17. See you!
#18. Miss you!
#19. Bye!
#20. Oh crap...daddy's ink bottle's empty..can't write any mo-
A big THUMP! was heard from Aragorn's tent.
"Aragorn?" Legolas put down his shiny brush. "Aaaaaragorn?" He went over to Aragorn's tent and was about to step into the entrance when-
"Oh, GROSS!" Aragorn's "foot spa" water tub tipped and spilled over the dirt, turning it into (ta da!) mud...into which Legolas's perfectly clean boot squelched. "UGH! Aragorn, you're on your own,"
"Is Aragorn okay?" Soldier #1 asked Legolas.
"Yeah...yeah...fine..." Legolas absentmindedly replied, frowning in disgust as he dragged his foot across the grass, trying to wipe the mud off.
"MEDIC!" A soldier who popped into Aragorn's tent to borrow some shoe shine screamed. Soldier #1 stared at that soldier, then at Legolas's back. He shrugged and continued doing what Gandalf told him to do: prying open the EVIL PINK VIDEOTAPE!
********************************************************
Don't murder me! *ducks* The next chapter will be out much faster now that xmas break is coming! Again, sorry muchlies!!!