ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Btw~ Wow...more reviews...so touched... *sniffle*
I promised to give a warning. Here it is. And you had better read it cuz I reeaaaally don't want to be blamed for giving out TTT spoilers. Unless, of course, you already read the book. Well, then, if you have, keep going and skip the warning!
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!
Ok. Now you know that this is a warning. TTT SPOILER WARNING!!!!!
For those who are deprived, spoilers mean HINTS. BIGGER THAN HINTS. Spoilers tell you everything you want to know except that you DIDN'T want to know at that exact moment.
Did that confuse you?
No warning. Just pure holiday fun!
Note: I didn't review and feature a fanfic here because I don't have much time to read new ones lately. ^^; But I will next time.
Thank you to my loyal reviewers who read my stuff even if it's updated so late! I love you guys!!!!
********************************************************
NOTE: Tis a fun chapter...with all the characters!! (at least I think so...)
********************************************************
[A MERRY ARRY CHRISTMAS!]
SPLAT! Aragorn, groggily waking up (vaguely thinking of morning coffee), saw the walls of his cloth tent go in...then out...then in...then out...He peered out the tent flap.
"GAH! It's freezing cold!" He huddled back under his blankets.
"Aragorn, you git! Wake up! It's Christmas Eve!" a very familiar Elvish voice rang out.
"That doesn't mean it's Christmas..." Aragorn mumbled. "Now Christmas morning is an entirely different story..." Legolas, with a flushed face (which he claims later has completely ruined his "beautiful skin complexure", then stomped around when Aragorn told him that complexure wasn't a real word), grinned, sticking his head in the tent flap.
"You're missing a great deal of fun!"
"You do know that snow's in your 'beautiful' hair..."
"I can make an exception on-"
"Oh my god! Legolas can make an EXCEPTION concerning his most important virtue, BEAUTY! The world must be ending!" Aragorn sat up and made a face, his voice filled with sarcasm (if you hadn't noticed already...). Legolas crossed his arms and scowled.
"I can make an exception on Christmas Eve. Besides, it gives me an excuse to use up my hair care products so I can properly use new ones tomorrow,"
"How do you suppose our presents are arriving?"
"DUH. Santa and his sleigh of reindeers!"
"Get real, Legolas. Now, how do you suppose they're coming? I don't think Arwen would waste her precious prissy attendants and horses just to send me my presents...I mean, just because I took the liberty of emptying half my pocket on an eagle to send her HER presents..." Aragorn rambled. Legolas waved his hands impatiently.
"Whatever, Aragorn. Santa IS real. End of discussion. Are you going to join my snowball team or what?"
"What snowball team?" Aragorn said with a blank look on his face. Legolas rolled his eyes.
"My team for the SNOWBALL FIGHTS,"
"How immature,"
"I-Immature?!" Legolas sputtered. "The entire army is playing it out on the field!" Aragorn paused.
"They're immature, too," Legolas snorted at this.
"You're such a spoilsport! It's a rough, dignified winter sport!"
"Sport?"
"Ok, so maybe it isn't a SPORT, but it's still-"
"Dumb? Stupid? Childish? And will you stop contradicting yourself?"
"I am not contradicting myself!"
"Do you even know what 'contradicting' means, Legolas?"
"Well, I-I-"
"Nope, didn't think so. And I'm NOT joining your snowball team. God knows what people will think of me if I did. On the same team as YOU. I wonder how badly we'd lose,"
"Ugh! Fine! BE that way! I hope you're miserable!" Legolas stormed off, flinging his scarf over his shoulder.
"Well, that was interesting. The tent's now rid of icky 'pretty boy' germs. Yay. Now the bliss of sleep..." Aragorn started snoring again to the sounds of...
"HA! Nya nya! I can walk on snow and you can't! Hahahaha- OW!"
+++++++++++++++++++++++
(To the Sam-and-Frodo-are-the-bestest-best-and-sweetest-friends-and-will- never-ever-get-mad-at-each-other fans...sorry for changing they're relationship. I've decided to make it more...well, realistic.)
"ANOTHER piggy back ride, Fro? I JUST got finished carrying you!" Sam growled, trudging along the way to Mordor....with Frodo.
"Hey! Who's saving the world here?"
"WE are. Who rowed the boat? Me. Who carried you 99/100 feet we walked? Me. And what have YOU done for ME?"
"Hey, I'm dealing enough with this ring of evil here. It's HEAVY. What more do you expect out of me?"
"At least some HUMAN virtues, like GRATITUDE and PATIENCE and TOLERANCE, for instance?"
"But we're NOT human, Sam,"
"That's besides the point,"
"What point?"
"The point that you're carrying nothing but a RING and I'm carrying the cooking utensils, the rope, the food, the water bottles, the blankets, the cloaks...need I list more?"
"We brought rope?"
"No...I brought rope,"
"Whatever. Hey, it's Christmas Eve! What do you wanna do?" Frodo grinned.
(Note: I'm not exactly sure if it's Christmas Eve already when they're heading towards Mordor...cuz Boromir died in the middle of December, so I'm pretty sure they are...correct me if I'm wrong though!)
"Maybe GET THE RING TO MOUNT DOOM?"
"Oh, right. No, I meant, like, can we have a feast, like pie or fruitcake?"
"Who do you think I am...Gandalf?"
"Well, you ARE the cook and you SAID you brought food!"
"WE ONLY HAVE LEMBAS, FRUIT, MEAT, AND WATER!"
(The fruit and meat being given by Faramir, brother of Boromir, and his men. I skipped the Faramir part but I think maybe I'll include a flashback later in the story towards Ithilien. Such a purty place.)
"Oh...So what did I get for Christmas?" Frodo resumed pointless conversation, switching subjects more abruptly than I've ever seen anyone do.
"Christmas?" Sam vaguely remembered the word, due to malnutrition.
"You DID get me a present, right?"
"Um...no,"
"WHAT?!"
"And I suppose YOU got me one?"
"...well, no..."
"Then let's drop the subject,"
"...So what do you think of Rosie?" A loud frustrated scream resonated all over Mordor (narrowly missing grabbing the attention of the Eye...well, the Eye HASN'T got any ears...).
+++++++++++++++++++++++
(At the ruined Isengard...)
"So we're sitting here to wait for Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli?" Pippin asked Merry.
"YES, for the gazillionth time..." Merry laid down on a grassy slope and began smoking.
"I'm just trying to pass the time..."
"Go...play with the butterflies!"
"Already did that,"
"Then go....find some food!"
"Already did that," Pippin pointed at the 5 enormous tubs of cheese, meats, and fruits behind them. Merry scowled. "Ooo! I know! Let's play Truth or Dare!"
"If we play it, will you stop asking me ridiculous questions?"
"Mmm...ok!"
"Fine,"
"Ooo! I'll go first!"
"You do that,"
"Truth or DARE?" It was plainly obvious Pippin had a good (or lame) dare thought up.
"Truth,"
"You're supposed to pick dare!"
"TRUTH!"
"Alrite, alrite...umm...do you like mushrooms?" Pippin asked. Merry gave him a strong look of a person who couldn't stand stupid people. Pippin noticed this, amazingly, and sighed. "Umm...do you like Diamond?" Merry frowned.
"That ditzy girl that lives down the street from you?"
"Yeah!...and she's not ditzy!"
"Of course I don't like her!"
"Good! Cuz I do!" Pippin grinned widely. Merry just rolled his eyes.
"Truth or dare?" he asked in a monotonous tone.
"Ooo...dare!"
"You sure?"
"Yep!"
"You're asking for it...."
"I know!"
"Alrite. I dare you to go in that nearby wood over there and find a dolphin. And you can't come back without one,"
"Ok!" (Poor, dense Pippin...)
"Good! Now go!" Merry pushed Pippin towards the wood and Pippin skipped off singing "I'm going to find me a dolphin! What color shall it be? Pink or purple or gray or yellow? I wonder what color it'll be!" Merry gave an exasperated sigh.
"Well, at least I get some quiet for a few hours..."
25 minutes later...
"Merry!"
"Oh boy..."
"Look! Merry Christmas!" Pippin came running over the hill with...a dolphin. Merry gagged on his tobacco and promptly fainted, whether it was the choking or the sight of Pippin with a dolphin, we shall never know...
+++++++++++++++++++++++
"OH! SO NO ONE CARES ABOUT GIMLI! I'M NOT EVEN MENTIONED UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE!" Gimli roared inside his tent, drinking his 6th mug of beer.
"Now, now, you know...the best for last," the mysterious disembodied voice (MDV) said soothingly.
"Yeah, RIGHT. THAT'S why I'm hardly mentioned. THAT'S why I got the best actor award last time! THAT'S why-"
"I THINK that's enough beer for today, Gimli..."
"It's Christmas Eve!" Gimli clutched his mug protectively.
"Why don't you drink some nice MILK?"
"Eggnog?"
"No...MILK,"
"Do I get paid for it?"
"NO!"
"Then no,"
"Do you want me to take all your beer and feed it someone else? Say...Air-rod?"
"NO!"
"Then drink your milk!"
"If I drink my milk, can I get mentioned more?"
".."
"WELL?"
"FINE!"
"Whoohoo!" Gimli glugged down his milk, while the MDV snuck away his beer and returned to the clouds.
The MDV waved at the guests at her Christmas Eve party.
"Hey guys! Look what I got!"
********************************************************
^______^ I hope you enjoyed this one! I know I did. I know I excluded Arwen (but we've had enough of her, haven't we?) and Gandalf and some other people, but this is mainly focused on the fellowship.
This was a tad longer for holiday entertainment.
Will write more soon!
Have a merry Christmas!
~randomwriter96
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Btw~ Wow...more reviews...so touched... *sniffle*
I promised to give a warning. Here it is. And you had better read it cuz I reeaaaally don't want to be blamed for giving out TTT spoilers. Unless, of course, you already read the book. Well, then, if you have, keep going and skip the warning!
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING!!!!
Ok. Now you know that this is a warning. TTT SPOILER WARNING!!!!!
For those who are deprived, spoilers mean HINTS. BIGGER THAN HINTS. Spoilers tell you everything you want to know except that you DIDN'T want to know at that exact moment.
Did that confuse you?
No warning. Just pure holiday fun!
Note: I didn't review and feature a fanfic here because I don't have much time to read new ones lately. ^^; But I will next time.
Thank you to my loyal reviewers who read my stuff even if it's updated so late! I love you guys!!!!
********************************************************
NOTE: Tis a fun chapter...with all the characters!! (at least I think so...)
********************************************************
[A MERRY ARRY CHRISTMAS!]
SPLAT! Aragorn, groggily waking up (vaguely thinking of morning coffee), saw the walls of his cloth tent go in...then out...then in...then out...He peered out the tent flap.
"GAH! It's freezing cold!" He huddled back under his blankets.
"Aragorn, you git! Wake up! It's Christmas Eve!" a very familiar Elvish voice rang out.
"That doesn't mean it's Christmas..." Aragorn mumbled. "Now Christmas morning is an entirely different story..." Legolas, with a flushed face (which he claims later has completely ruined his "beautiful skin complexure", then stomped around when Aragorn told him that complexure wasn't a real word), grinned, sticking his head in the tent flap.
"You're missing a great deal of fun!"
"You do know that snow's in your 'beautiful' hair..."
"I can make an exception on-"
"Oh my god! Legolas can make an EXCEPTION concerning his most important virtue, BEAUTY! The world must be ending!" Aragorn sat up and made a face, his voice filled with sarcasm (if you hadn't noticed already...). Legolas crossed his arms and scowled.
"I can make an exception on Christmas Eve. Besides, it gives me an excuse to use up my hair care products so I can properly use new ones tomorrow,"
"How do you suppose our presents are arriving?"
"DUH. Santa and his sleigh of reindeers!"
"Get real, Legolas. Now, how do you suppose they're coming? I don't think Arwen would waste her precious prissy attendants and horses just to send me my presents...I mean, just because I took the liberty of emptying half my pocket on an eagle to send her HER presents..." Aragorn rambled. Legolas waved his hands impatiently.
"Whatever, Aragorn. Santa IS real. End of discussion. Are you going to join my snowball team or what?"
"What snowball team?" Aragorn said with a blank look on his face. Legolas rolled his eyes.
"My team for the SNOWBALL FIGHTS,"
"How immature,"
"I-Immature?!" Legolas sputtered. "The entire army is playing it out on the field!" Aragorn paused.
"They're immature, too," Legolas snorted at this.
"You're such a spoilsport! It's a rough, dignified winter sport!"
"Sport?"
"Ok, so maybe it isn't a SPORT, but it's still-"
"Dumb? Stupid? Childish? And will you stop contradicting yourself?"
"I am not contradicting myself!"
"Do you even know what 'contradicting' means, Legolas?"
"Well, I-I-"
"Nope, didn't think so. And I'm NOT joining your snowball team. God knows what people will think of me if I did. On the same team as YOU. I wonder how badly we'd lose,"
"Ugh! Fine! BE that way! I hope you're miserable!" Legolas stormed off, flinging his scarf over his shoulder.
"Well, that was interesting. The tent's now rid of icky 'pretty boy' germs. Yay. Now the bliss of sleep..." Aragorn started snoring again to the sounds of...
"HA! Nya nya! I can walk on snow and you can't! Hahahaha- OW!"
+++++++++++++++++++++++
(To the Sam-and-Frodo-are-the-bestest-best-and-sweetest-friends-and-will- never-ever-get-mad-at-each-other fans...sorry for changing they're relationship. I've decided to make it more...well, realistic.)
"ANOTHER piggy back ride, Fro? I JUST got finished carrying you!" Sam growled, trudging along the way to Mordor....with Frodo.
"Hey! Who's saving the world here?"
"WE are. Who rowed the boat? Me. Who carried you 99/100 feet we walked? Me. And what have YOU done for ME?"
"Hey, I'm dealing enough with this ring of evil here. It's HEAVY. What more do you expect out of me?"
"At least some HUMAN virtues, like GRATITUDE and PATIENCE and TOLERANCE, for instance?"
"But we're NOT human, Sam,"
"That's besides the point,"
"What point?"
"The point that you're carrying nothing but a RING and I'm carrying the cooking utensils, the rope, the food, the water bottles, the blankets, the cloaks...need I list more?"
"We brought rope?"
"No...I brought rope,"
"Whatever. Hey, it's Christmas Eve! What do you wanna do?" Frodo grinned.
(Note: I'm not exactly sure if it's Christmas Eve already when they're heading towards Mordor...cuz Boromir died in the middle of December, so I'm pretty sure they are...correct me if I'm wrong though!)
"Maybe GET THE RING TO MOUNT DOOM?"
"Oh, right. No, I meant, like, can we have a feast, like pie or fruitcake?"
"Who do you think I am...Gandalf?"
"Well, you ARE the cook and you SAID you brought food!"
"WE ONLY HAVE LEMBAS, FRUIT, MEAT, AND WATER!"
(The fruit and meat being given by Faramir, brother of Boromir, and his men. I skipped the Faramir part but I think maybe I'll include a flashback later in the story towards Ithilien. Such a purty place.)
"Oh...So what did I get for Christmas?" Frodo resumed pointless conversation, switching subjects more abruptly than I've ever seen anyone do.
"Christmas?" Sam vaguely remembered the word, due to malnutrition.
"You DID get me a present, right?"
"Um...no,"
"WHAT?!"
"And I suppose YOU got me one?"
"...well, no..."
"Then let's drop the subject,"
"...So what do you think of Rosie?" A loud frustrated scream resonated all over Mordor (narrowly missing grabbing the attention of the Eye...well, the Eye HASN'T got any ears...).
+++++++++++++++++++++++
(At the ruined Isengard...)
"So we're sitting here to wait for Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli?" Pippin asked Merry.
"YES, for the gazillionth time..." Merry laid down on a grassy slope and began smoking.
"I'm just trying to pass the time..."
"Go...play with the butterflies!"
"Already did that,"
"Then go....find some food!"
"Already did that," Pippin pointed at the 5 enormous tubs of cheese, meats, and fruits behind them. Merry scowled. "Ooo! I know! Let's play Truth or Dare!"
"If we play it, will you stop asking me ridiculous questions?"
"Mmm...ok!"
"Fine,"
"Ooo! I'll go first!"
"You do that,"
"Truth or DARE?" It was plainly obvious Pippin had a good (or lame) dare thought up.
"Truth,"
"You're supposed to pick dare!"
"TRUTH!"
"Alrite, alrite...umm...do you like mushrooms?" Pippin asked. Merry gave him a strong look of a person who couldn't stand stupid people. Pippin noticed this, amazingly, and sighed. "Umm...do you like Diamond?" Merry frowned.
"That ditzy girl that lives down the street from you?"
"Yeah!...and she's not ditzy!"
"Of course I don't like her!"
"Good! Cuz I do!" Pippin grinned widely. Merry just rolled his eyes.
"Truth or dare?" he asked in a monotonous tone.
"Ooo...dare!"
"You sure?"
"Yep!"
"You're asking for it...."
"I know!"
"Alrite. I dare you to go in that nearby wood over there and find a dolphin. And you can't come back without one,"
"Ok!" (Poor, dense Pippin...)
"Good! Now go!" Merry pushed Pippin towards the wood and Pippin skipped off singing "I'm going to find me a dolphin! What color shall it be? Pink or purple or gray or yellow? I wonder what color it'll be!" Merry gave an exasperated sigh.
"Well, at least I get some quiet for a few hours..."
25 minutes later...
"Merry!"
"Oh boy..."
"Look! Merry Christmas!" Pippin came running over the hill with...a dolphin. Merry gagged on his tobacco and promptly fainted, whether it was the choking or the sight of Pippin with a dolphin, we shall never know...
+++++++++++++++++++++++
"OH! SO NO ONE CARES ABOUT GIMLI! I'M NOT EVEN MENTIONED UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE!" Gimli roared inside his tent, drinking his 6th mug of beer.
"Now, now, you know...the best for last," the mysterious disembodied voice (MDV) said soothingly.
"Yeah, RIGHT. THAT'S why I'm hardly mentioned. THAT'S why I got the best actor award last time! THAT'S why-"
"I THINK that's enough beer for today, Gimli..."
"It's Christmas Eve!" Gimli clutched his mug protectively.
"Why don't you drink some nice MILK?"
"Eggnog?"
"No...MILK,"
"Do I get paid for it?"
"NO!"
"Then no,"
"Do you want me to take all your beer and feed it someone else? Say...Air-rod?"
"NO!"
"Then drink your milk!"
"If I drink my milk, can I get mentioned more?"
".."
"WELL?"
"FINE!"
"Whoohoo!" Gimli glugged down his milk, while the MDV snuck away his beer and returned to the clouds.
The MDV waved at the guests at her Christmas Eve party.
"Hey guys! Look what I got!"
********************************************************
^______^ I hope you enjoyed this one! I know I did. I know I excluded Arwen (but we've had enough of her, haven't we?) and Gandalf and some other people, but this is mainly focused on the fellowship.
This was a tad longer for holiday entertainment.
Will write more soon!
Have a merry Christmas!
~randomwriter96