wwwANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Btw~ Thank you to those who still review! *hug* ^^; although I don't blame you if you didn't cause if I did, I'd be hypocritical. And the fact that I am a slow updater..
Note: Look below. I have read the warning thing and realized (slow that I am) it was useless and took up way too much space and way too many exclamation marks...much like an overexcited 12-year-old. Oo; That I do not want to be. So I give you the revised warning! Better, eh?
TTT SPOILER WARNING!
********************************************************
[Still haven't reached Isengard yet....but they'll get there. Eventually.]
"Oww...ow..should've gotten a saddle..oww.." Legolas winced as Air-rod began trotting, whether because the horse just wanted to or to annoy Legolas, we'll never know.
"Eh? Did you say something about getting a saddle?" Aragorn looked amusedly over in Legolas's direction, patting Bob's neck. Bob turned his head towards Aragorn and glared with a never-pat-me-again look in his eyes. Unfortunately, Aragorn did not notice this.
"No, what makes you think that?" Legolas said, his voice just a tad higher than normal. Just a tad...
"Because you said you should've gotten a saddle?" Aragorn inclined his head towards Air-rod.
"Hallucinations, Aragorn. You should really try those new drug treatments on the market...they may have some really bad side-effects, but don't listen to those-"
"Shut up, Legolas,"
"Shutting," Legolas sighed. Air-rod decided to be evil today and started galloping. Fast. Really really fast. "ARGGGHHH! Owowowowowowoww.."
Aragorn laughed out loud and resumed patting Bob. Let's just say Bob was not very happy about this.
Half an hour later..
"Haha. Serves you right," Legolas, who was sitting on a jumbo pack of ice (from who-knows-where), pointed at Aragorn's nearly-severed leg. Aragorn stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry.
"Pbbbbbt. At least MY genitals are intact," Aragorn taunted. Legolas scowled.
"Well...I'm an Elf,"
"..so I've noticed,"
"That means I can heal faster than you can. So ha! AND you have no horse to ride. Bob refuses to carry you otherwise he'll sever your other leg,"
"And you know this..how?"
"We Elves understand animals muchly,"
"Righhhht..that's why Air-rod decided to sporadically gallop,"
"...Er, yeah," Legolas scratched his pretty head. Aragorn rolled his eyes. Eomer popped in suddenly, causing Legolas to jump up and re-injure his..yeah.
"Yo, incoming mail!" Then, whoosh!, he disappeared as quickly as he appeared. Legolas frowned.
"What is this 'yo' word? Is it a new noun or verb you Men conjured up again?"
"Hello! Keep up with the modern times, why don't ya?" Aragorn waved his hands in the air.
"I am guessing it is a shorter form of 'Hey' or something similar to that?"
"Yeah, that's about right," Aragorn lowered his hands in a defeated position.
"And I'M not keeping up with the modern times? You're the one that hardly knew what a toothbrush was! AND I got the most recent, brand-new, highly- recommended, expensive HB500 hairbrush," Legolas grinned.
"And I got the HB600 brush!" Aragorn said in mock-excitement..which, of course, Legolas did not get.
"OH MY ELBERETH, you DID?? Let me see it!!"
"No way in hell...because it isn't real! I was being sarcastic, Legolas..."
"..I knew that,"
"YO, I SAID INCOMING MAIL. Legolas, if you don't get your crappy fan mail out of the way, I'm going to BURN them.." Eomer popped in again. Legolas smugly limped (well, as smugly as one can be while limping) out to see four eagles (wearing the "Long Distance Postal Eagle Service..TIP ME! I DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH!" banners) swooping close to the group, lugging heavy postal bags and dropping them onto random people's heads. Eomer shoved some Rohirric coins into their pouches and dug eagerly through the bags, apparently expecting something. The eagles snitched a couple of what they called "funny-looking, shiny, tassel-y Rohan helmets", fluffed their feathers importantly, and took off. No Rohan soldier dared to object the taking of the helmets. The eagles happened to have sharp claws and beaks. Plus they had luckily brought their extra armor supplies..so long as the eagles didn't find about those.
"Ooo! Lookee, Aragorn! I got mail!" Legolas pointed upwards, then realized the full meaning of what he said when, far too late, a waterfall (you know, kinda like Niagra Falls..) of fan mail fell on top of him. Not a blond strand was seen. Aragorn hopefully looked upwards for a few seconds. His hopes crushed once again, he scowled and went to go save his best friend (possibly his ONLY friend...).
"Hey Legolas! Leeeeegolaaaas! LEGOLAS!" Aragorn shouted. No respond. He immediately dove into the mountain of letters, only to come in contact (and very hurtful contact at that) with a familiar blond noggin.
"Ow! You dork! I'm perfectly fine. And I checked pretty thoroughly. No fan mail for you in here," Legolas grabbed another letter, sweeping a couple pink and purple ones out of his eyes.
"Urrrrg!" Aragorn fought his way back out and was brushing the letters off his clothes when he spotted an acid green envelope. "That's strange. In all my days I've known Legolas, I didn't know girls would even consider send him acid green letters..." He glanced at the front of the envelope. He couldn't believe it.
It read: TO ARAGORN!!! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!
Aragorn danced with joy and cartwheeled around the tents (ok...not really considering he has an injured leg. But you get the idea), screaming, "I got mail! I got FAN mail!"
The Rohan soldiers were writing furiously in their diaries (er, I mean, journals) and crying tears of joy. They would never forget the day they witnessed a miracle. Finally, Aragorn calmed down enough to actually open it.
It said:
Dear Aragorn,
I LOVE YOU!!! OMG! You're SOOOO hot and sexshay! I don't care what my friends say! You ARE hotter than Legolas! I want your children! MARRY ME!!!!
Love, YOUR #1 FAN!!
P.S. Arwen had BETTER watch her back! I'm gonna KILL her! That @#%&*#...
After blinking numerous times, Aragorn suddenly didn't feel so elated anymore. Instead, he felt...disturbed....and oddly violated.
"Well, at least it's fan mail," Aragorn sighed.
"So, I've just heard the breaking news! You got fan mail! Good for you. Now that's only the first step-" Legolas ran up to him.
"Breaking news? I got this thing like 2 hours ago," Aragorn said.
"I had to finish my OWN fan mail first. Can't ignore the pleas of love.." Legolas sighed.
"Oh, shut it," Aragorn scowled.
"So...what'd the letter say?"
"Read it for yourself,"
"You're actually letting me TOUCH this?" Legolas gasped in mock surprise.
"Go ahead and read your heart out. I don't really like it,"
"My god, this must be one HELL of an awful fan letter to get you down like that. Lemme read it, hang on..."
"I'll be at my tent," Aragorn said morosely, walking away.
2 minutes later...
"Legolas, what are you doing here so early?" Aragorn had just begun to take off his shoes inside his tent.
"I'm a fast reader. What are you so disappointed about? That's what most of MY fan letters look like. You're acting like it's the end of the world or something. You mustn't be used to these I guess..And I can tell. It's the color, isn't it? It's GHASTLY...Envelopes like these shouldn't be allowed, it's so disgraceful..." Legolas rambled on.
"I don't think I want fan mail anymore..." Aragorn spoke blandly, as if in a great bout of depression.
"My Valar! Are you sick? You must be..In fact, you look downright pale. Let me get something..." Legolas sped off towards his own tent and rifled through his bag. "Aha!" He grabbed it and headed back towards Aragorn's tent.
"Aragorn! I got it! The perfect cure!" Legolas burst in.
"What?" Aragorn said sullenly.
"Thiiiis!" Legolas dramatically whipped out...antidepressants!!! (*cheers muchly* Wow, this is actually starting to pertain to the title...)
"Antidepressants?"
"That's what these are? I thought they were sugar pills..."
"Close enough,"
"How'd they get in there?.."
"It wasn't me,"
"I swear I-"
"Just give it to me,"
"Whatever you say,"
One happy hour later...
"AHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!" Aragorn doubled up on the floor laughing hysterically while Legolas looked on painfully.
"Aragorn, I only said I was planning a trip to the Sea..."
"THE SEA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! That's SOOOO funny!"
"Aragorn, I think you've had enough of those pills-"
"PILLS!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!"
"I give up," Legolas exited Aragorn's tent and tiredly reached for his earplugs once he reached his own tent. Elves have very sensitive hearing and no elf certainly wants to sleep to the sounds of a distant "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Shampoo!!! That's soooooo funny!".
********************************************************
Still apologizing.. ;_;
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Btw~ Thank you to those who still review! *hug* ^^; although I don't blame you if you didn't cause if I did, I'd be hypocritical. And the fact that I am a slow updater..
Note: Look below. I have read the warning thing and realized (slow that I am) it was useless and took up way too much space and way too many exclamation marks...much like an overexcited 12-year-old. Oo; That I do not want to be. So I give you the revised warning! Better, eh?
TTT SPOILER WARNING!
********************************************************
[Still haven't reached Isengard yet....but they'll get there. Eventually.]
"Oww...ow..should've gotten a saddle..oww.." Legolas winced as Air-rod began trotting, whether because the horse just wanted to or to annoy Legolas, we'll never know.
"Eh? Did you say something about getting a saddle?" Aragorn looked amusedly over in Legolas's direction, patting Bob's neck. Bob turned his head towards Aragorn and glared with a never-pat-me-again look in his eyes. Unfortunately, Aragorn did not notice this.
"No, what makes you think that?" Legolas said, his voice just a tad higher than normal. Just a tad...
"Because you said you should've gotten a saddle?" Aragorn inclined his head towards Air-rod.
"Hallucinations, Aragorn. You should really try those new drug treatments on the market...they may have some really bad side-effects, but don't listen to those-"
"Shut up, Legolas,"
"Shutting," Legolas sighed. Air-rod decided to be evil today and started galloping. Fast. Really really fast. "ARGGGHHH! Owowowowowowoww.."
Aragorn laughed out loud and resumed patting Bob. Let's just say Bob was not very happy about this.
Half an hour later..
"Haha. Serves you right," Legolas, who was sitting on a jumbo pack of ice (from who-knows-where), pointed at Aragorn's nearly-severed leg. Aragorn stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry.
"Pbbbbbt. At least MY genitals are intact," Aragorn taunted. Legolas scowled.
"Well...I'm an Elf,"
"..so I've noticed,"
"That means I can heal faster than you can. So ha! AND you have no horse to ride. Bob refuses to carry you otherwise he'll sever your other leg,"
"And you know this..how?"
"We Elves understand animals muchly,"
"Righhhht..that's why Air-rod decided to sporadically gallop,"
"...Er, yeah," Legolas scratched his pretty head. Aragorn rolled his eyes. Eomer popped in suddenly, causing Legolas to jump up and re-injure his..yeah.
"Yo, incoming mail!" Then, whoosh!, he disappeared as quickly as he appeared. Legolas frowned.
"What is this 'yo' word? Is it a new noun or verb you Men conjured up again?"
"Hello! Keep up with the modern times, why don't ya?" Aragorn waved his hands in the air.
"I am guessing it is a shorter form of 'Hey' or something similar to that?"
"Yeah, that's about right," Aragorn lowered his hands in a defeated position.
"And I'M not keeping up with the modern times? You're the one that hardly knew what a toothbrush was! AND I got the most recent, brand-new, highly- recommended, expensive HB500 hairbrush," Legolas grinned.
"And I got the HB600 brush!" Aragorn said in mock-excitement..which, of course, Legolas did not get.
"OH MY ELBERETH, you DID?? Let me see it!!"
"No way in hell...because it isn't real! I was being sarcastic, Legolas..."
"..I knew that,"
"YO, I SAID INCOMING MAIL. Legolas, if you don't get your crappy fan mail out of the way, I'm going to BURN them.." Eomer popped in again. Legolas smugly limped (well, as smugly as one can be while limping) out to see four eagles (wearing the "Long Distance Postal Eagle Service..TIP ME! I DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH!" banners) swooping close to the group, lugging heavy postal bags and dropping them onto random people's heads. Eomer shoved some Rohirric coins into their pouches and dug eagerly through the bags, apparently expecting something. The eagles snitched a couple of what they called "funny-looking, shiny, tassel-y Rohan helmets", fluffed their feathers importantly, and took off. No Rohan soldier dared to object the taking of the helmets. The eagles happened to have sharp claws and beaks. Plus they had luckily brought their extra armor supplies..so long as the eagles didn't find about those.
"Ooo! Lookee, Aragorn! I got mail!" Legolas pointed upwards, then realized the full meaning of what he said when, far too late, a waterfall (you know, kinda like Niagra Falls..) of fan mail fell on top of him. Not a blond strand was seen. Aragorn hopefully looked upwards for a few seconds. His hopes crushed once again, he scowled and went to go save his best friend (possibly his ONLY friend...).
"Hey Legolas! Leeeeegolaaaas! LEGOLAS!" Aragorn shouted. No respond. He immediately dove into the mountain of letters, only to come in contact (and very hurtful contact at that) with a familiar blond noggin.
"Ow! You dork! I'm perfectly fine. And I checked pretty thoroughly. No fan mail for you in here," Legolas grabbed another letter, sweeping a couple pink and purple ones out of his eyes.
"Urrrrg!" Aragorn fought his way back out and was brushing the letters off his clothes when he spotted an acid green envelope. "That's strange. In all my days I've known Legolas, I didn't know girls would even consider send him acid green letters..." He glanced at the front of the envelope. He couldn't believe it.
It read: TO ARAGORN!!! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!
Aragorn danced with joy and cartwheeled around the tents (ok...not really considering he has an injured leg. But you get the idea), screaming, "I got mail! I got FAN mail!"
The Rohan soldiers were writing furiously in their diaries (er, I mean, journals) and crying tears of joy. They would never forget the day they witnessed a miracle. Finally, Aragorn calmed down enough to actually open it.
It said:
Dear Aragorn,
I LOVE YOU!!! OMG! You're SOOOO hot and sexshay! I don't care what my friends say! You ARE hotter than Legolas! I want your children! MARRY ME!!!!
Love, YOUR #1 FAN!!
P.S. Arwen had BETTER watch her back! I'm gonna KILL her! That @#%&*#...
After blinking numerous times, Aragorn suddenly didn't feel so elated anymore. Instead, he felt...disturbed....and oddly violated.
"Well, at least it's fan mail," Aragorn sighed.
"So, I've just heard the breaking news! You got fan mail! Good for you. Now that's only the first step-" Legolas ran up to him.
"Breaking news? I got this thing like 2 hours ago," Aragorn said.
"I had to finish my OWN fan mail first. Can't ignore the pleas of love.." Legolas sighed.
"Oh, shut it," Aragorn scowled.
"So...what'd the letter say?"
"Read it for yourself,"
"You're actually letting me TOUCH this?" Legolas gasped in mock surprise.
"Go ahead and read your heart out. I don't really like it,"
"My god, this must be one HELL of an awful fan letter to get you down like that. Lemme read it, hang on..."
"I'll be at my tent," Aragorn said morosely, walking away.
2 minutes later...
"Legolas, what are you doing here so early?" Aragorn had just begun to take off his shoes inside his tent.
"I'm a fast reader. What are you so disappointed about? That's what most of MY fan letters look like. You're acting like it's the end of the world or something. You mustn't be used to these I guess..And I can tell. It's the color, isn't it? It's GHASTLY...Envelopes like these shouldn't be allowed, it's so disgraceful..." Legolas rambled on.
"I don't think I want fan mail anymore..." Aragorn spoke blandly, as if in a great bout of depression.
"My Valar! Are you sick? You must be..In fact, you look downright pale. Let me get something..." Legolas sped off towards his own tent and rifled through his bag. "Aha!" He grabbed it and headed back towards Aragorn's tent.
"Aragorn! I got it! The perfect cure!" Legolas burst in.
"What?" Aragorn said sullenly.
"Thiiiis!" Legolas dramatically whipped out...antidepressants!!! (*cheers muchly* Wow, this is actually starting to pertain to the title...)
"Antidepressants?"
"That's what these are? I thought they were sugar pills..."
"Close enough,"
"How'd they get in there?.."
"It wasn't me,"
"I swear I-"
"Just give it to me,"
"Whatever you say,"
One happy hour later...
"AHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!" Aragorn doubled up on the floor laughing hysterically while Legolas looked on painfully.
"Aragorn, I only said I was planning a trip to the Sea..."
"THE SEA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! That's SOOOO funny!"
"Aragorn, I think you've had enough of those pills-"
"PILLS!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!"
"I give up," Legolas exited Aragorn's tent and tiredly reached for his earplugs once he reached his own tent. Elves have very sensitive hearing and no elf certainly wants to sleep to the sounds of a distant "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Shampoo!!! That's soooooo funny!".
********************************************************
Still apologizing.. ;_;