ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Btw~ Thank you to those who still review! *hug* ^^; although I don't blame you if you didn't cause if I did, I'd be hypocritical. And the fact that I am a slow updater..
Note: Look below. I have read the warning thing and realized (slow that I am) it was useless and took up way too much space and way too many exclamation marks...much like an overexcited 12-year-old. Oo; That I do not want to be. So I give you the revised warning! Better, eh?
TTT SPOILER WARNING!
********************************************************
[Merry and Pippin waiting at Isengard after the Ents made it go crash&boom]
"I hate hangovers..." Pippin clutched his head and pouted.
"And you think I don't?" Merry winced as he attempted to sit up.
"I never said that,"
"It was a rhetorical question, Pip,"
"Oh..what's rhetorical?"
"You're not supposed to answer a rhetorical question," Merry sighed, putting his head in between his knees. Hangovers are most definitely not the best things to wake up to.
"Then why is it a question? All questions have answers," Pippin tilted his head.
"No....like, what is the meaning of life? There isn't an answer to that,"
"Cupcakes! And mushrooms,"
"We don't have any food, Pippin,"
"No, I mean that's the meaning of life," Pippin nodded.
"...am I supposed to believe that?"
"Da!" Pippin nodded again, then paused with a confused expression on his face. "...what's da?"
"Yes in Russian," the Mysterious Disembodied Voice (MDV) proclaimed, filing her nails.
"What's Russian?" Merry frowned, looking up.
"A pretty language,"
"How come we don't know it?" Pippin said.
"Do you know Elvish?" the MDV said.
"We know it EXISTS," Merry replied.
"My point exactly,"
"...I don't get it," Merry blinked.
"I don't either," the MDV shrugged. Merry rolled his eyes.
"Some help you are,"
"Yes, I am," and the MDV disappeared.
"That was....random," Pippin raised an eyebrow.
"Da," Merry said blandly.
"Do you want any pipeweed?"
"We never had any to begin with," Merry said morosely. "And call it by it's proper name: weed,"
"There's an entire tub of it floating over there," Pippin pointed to a mini- river behind them.
"Ah! The Joy of Weed!!!!" Merry quickly stood up..and fell down. "Damn hangovers!"
"You aren't supposed to swear! You gave it up for Lent, remember?"
"Goddammit, Pippin! I don't ever use any fucking swear words!" Merry said in mock anger.
"Then give up something else important in your life. I gave up custard pies," Pippin said sadly.
"Pippin?"
"Da?"
"You're ALLERGIC to custard pies,"
"Dammit! How'd you know?"
"Oh, I just happened to know you ALL MY LIFE,"
"Oh, yeah....we're cousins," Pippin grinned. Merry breathed in very deeply and exhaled.
"Yes, Pippin. We are,"
"Well, it counts, doesn't it? It's important in my life because I have to stay AWAY from it, see?"
"Net,"
"Eh?"
"No in Russian," the MDV reappeared. Then disappeared. Then reappeared. "And don't pronounce it 'Net', it's 'Nyet'," Then disappeared. (see a pattern?)
"I'm going to kill her one day with a sharp pointy object," Merry glared at the sky.
"So it counts. Ok? Ok," Pippin said with what he hopefully thought was a convincing, end-of-conversation tone of finality.
"Net. You have to give up something you LIKE,"
"Custard pie is something I LIKE to stay away from,"
"How come you're suddenly smarter?"
"I don't know....it could be those mysterious carrots I found yesterday," Pippin said thoughtfully.
"Must be..." Merry frowned in confusion. "Give up something you LIKE and TOUCH and USE and NOT STAY AWAY FROM,"
"You're evil,"
"Oh, yes. I'm clearly the epitome of it." Merry said in sarcasm.
"Da,"
"Blame the person who made up Lent," Merry rolled his eyes.
"Who would that be?"
"I have no clue. I didn't even know till last year Middle Earth had a Lent. It may be some random poncy fangirl dressed in pink and purple who introduced it while hunting for Legolas or....Legolas. From what I've heard, twitching passer-bys killed her, but kept Lent because they're either really stupid or think giving up things is cool," Merry shrugged.
"Fangirls," Pippin shuddered.
"I'm glad we don't have any," Merry sighed in satisfaction.
[ENTER random stampede of Merry and Pippin fangirls, then instantly disappear]
"Was that real?" Pippin blinked furiously, then whispered.
"I hope not...." Merry's left eye began having twitchy seizures. "All I saw was a big blur of pink. Hot pink, at that,"
"Ewwww," Pippin winced.
"Da, da, and da," Merry poked at his left eye to try and make it stop.
"So what are you giving up for Lent?"
"What are YOU giving up for Lent?" Merry replied.
"I have decided I shall give up weed," Pippin announced proudly. Merry's eyes grew as big as plates. (Well, that'd just be freaky....but you get the point)
"But-but! No hobbit in HISTORY has ever done that!!"
"Then I'll be the first one. And in the future, everyone will want to tell the story of Pippin and His Promise To Give Up Weed. And maybe Pippin and His Faithful Sidekick, Merry and HIS Promise To Give Up...what is it you're going to give up?"
"You can't last a week without weed, I'll betcha. And I'm NOT your sidekick," Merry glared.
"Minor details, minor details," Pippin waved his hand carelessly.
"I'm thinking of giving up...erm..." Now everything Merry thought up, he wanted to keep.
"Jelly beans?"
"Net,"
"Pickles?"
"Definitely net,"
"Peeing in the Brandybuck River?"
"SHHHH!" Merry hissed.
"Oops,"
[EDIT "Gimli Mini-Section #2", I'm afraid, must be cut here for severely profane use of swear words. Gimli is currently residing in the next chapter]
Gimli: I DO NOT USE ANY FUCKINGLY PROFANE SWEAR WORDS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? [insert much grumbling and much swear words that would make even a Hell's Angel faint].
Erm. *cough*
********************************************************
Oo; Er..I like Russian? ^^;
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: ..*sigh* I don't own LOTR..yet.
Btw~ Thank you to those who still review! *hug* ^^; although I don't blame you if you didn't cause if I did, I'd be hypocritical. And the fact that I am a slow updater..
Note: Look below. I have read the warning thing and realized (slow that I am) it was useless and took up way too much space and way too many exclamation marks...much like an overexcited 12-year-old. Oo; That I do not want to be. So I give you the revised warning! Better, eh?
TTT SPOILER WARNING!
********************************************************
[Merry and Pippin waiting at Isengard after the Ents made it go crash&boom]
"I hate hangovers..." Pippin clutched his head and pouted.
"And you think I don't?" Merry winced as he attempted to sit up.
"I never said that,"
"It was a rhetorical question, Pip,"
"Oh..what's rhetorical?"
"You're not supposed to answer a rhetorical question," Merry sighed, putting his head in between his knees. Hangovers are most definitely not the best things to wake up to.
"Then why is it a question? All questions have answers," Pippin tilted his head.
"No....like, what is the meaning of life? There isn't an answer to that,"
"Cupcakes! And mushrooms,"
"We don't have any food, Pippin,"
"No, I mean that's the meaning of life," Pippin nodded.
"...am I supposed to believe that?"
"Da!" Pippin nodded again, then paused with a confused expression on his face. "...what's da?"
"Yes in Russian," the Mysterious Disembodied Voice (MDV) proclaimed, filing her nails.
"What's Russian?" Merry frowned, looking up.
"A pretty language,"
"How come we don't know it?" Pippin said.
"Do you know Elvish?" the MDV said.
"We know it EXISTS," Merry replied.
"My point exactly,"
"...I don't get it," Merry blinked.
"I don't either," the MDV shrugged. Merry rolled his eyes.
"Some help you are,"
"Yes, I am," and the MDV disappeared.
"That was....random," Pippin raised an eyebrow.
"Da," Merry said blandly.
"Do you want any pipeweed?"
"We never had any to begin with," Merry said morosely. "And call it by it's proper name: weed,"
"There's an entire tub of it floating over there," Pippin pointed to a mini- river behind them.
"Ah! The Joy of Weed!!!!" Merry quickly stood up..and fell down. "Damn hangovers!"
"You aren't supposed to swear! You gave it up for Lent, remember?"
"Goddammit, Pippin! I don't ever use any fucking swear words!" Merry said in mock anger.
"Then give up something else important in your life. I gave up custard pies," Pippin said sadly.
"Pippin?"
"Da?"
"You're ALLERGIC to custard pies,"
"Dammit! How'd you know?"
"Oh, I just happened to know you ALL MY LIFE,"
"Oh, yeah....we're cousins," Pippin grinned. Merry breathed in very deeply and exhaled.
"Yes, Pippin. We are,"
"Well, it counts, doesn't it? It's important in my life because I have to stay AWAY from it, see?"
"Net,"
"Eh?"
"No in Russian," the MDV reappeared. Then disappeared. Then reappeared. "And don't pronounce it 'Net', it's 'Nyet'," Then disappeared. (see a pattern?)
"I'm going to kill her one day with a sharp pointy object," Merry glared at the sky.
"So it counts. Ok? Ok," Pippin said with what he hopefully thought was a convincing, end-of-conversation tone of finality.
"Net. You have to give up something you LIKE,"
"Custard pie is something I LIKE to stay away from,"
"How come you're suddenly smarter?"
"I don't know....it could be those mysterious carrots I found yesterday," Pippin said thoughtfully.
"Must be..." Merry frowned in confusion. "Give up something you LIKE and TOUCH and USE and NOT STAY AWAY FROM,"
"You're evil,"
"Oh, yes. I'm clearly the epitome of it." Merry said in sarcasm.
"Da,"
"Blame the person who made up Lent," Merry rolled his eyes.
"Who would that be?"
"I have no clue. I didn't even know till last year Middle Earth had a Lent. It may be some random poncy fangirl dressed in pink and purple who introduced it while hunting for Legolas or....Legolas. From what I've heard, twitching passer-bys killed her, but kept Lent because they're either really stupid or think giving up things is cool," Merry shrugged.
"Fangirls," Pippin shuddered.
"I'm glad we don't have any," Merry sighed in satisfaction.
[ENTER random stampede of Merry and Pippin fangirls, then instantly disappear]
"Was that real?" Pippin blinked furiously, then whispered.
"I hope not...." Merry's left eye began having twitchy seizures. "All I saw was a big blur of pink. Hot pink, at that,"
"Ewwww," Pippin winced.
"Da, da, and da," Merry poked at his left eye to try and make it stop.
"So what are you giving up for Lent?"
"What are YOU giving up for Lent?" Merry replied.
"I have decided I shall give up weed," Pippin announced proudly. Merry's eyes grew as big as plates. (Well, that'd just be freaky....but you get the point)
"But-but! No hobbit in HISTORY has ever done that!!"
"Then I'll be the first one. And in the future, everyone will want to tell the story of Pippin and His Promise To Give Up Weed. And maybe Pippin and His Faithful Sidekick, Merry and HIS Promise To Give Up...what is it you're going to give up?"
"You can't last a week without weed, I'll betcha. And I'm NOT your sidekick," Merry glared.
"Minor details, minor details," Pippin waved his hand carelessly.
"I'm thinking of giving up...erm..." Now everything Merry thought up, he wanted to keep.
"Jelly beans?"
"Net,"
"Pickles?"
"Definitely net,"
"Peeing in the Brandybuck River?"
"SHHHH!" Merry hissed.
"Oops,"
[EDIT "Gimli Mini-Section #2", I'm afraid, must be cut here for severely profane use of swear words. Gimli is currently residing in the next chapter]
Gimli: I DO NOT USE ANY FUCKINGLY PROFANE SWEAR WORDS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? [insert much grumbling and much swear words that would make even a Hell's Angel faint].
Erm. *cough*
********************************************************
Oo; Er..I like Russian? ^^;