ANTI-DEPRESSANT FUNNESS!!!
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Own nothing. Have nothing. ^^; Therefore, don't sue. Have nothing = have no money. Oo; Unless you absolutely have to have 15 cents...
BTW~ Thank you to those who still review! *hug* ^^; although I don't blame you if you didn't cause if I did, I'd be hypocritical. And the fact that I am a slow updater..
Note: Look below. I have read the warning thing and realized (slow that I am) it was useless and took up way too much space and way too many exclamation marks...much like an overexcited 12-year-old. Oo; That I do not want to be. So I give you the revised warning! Better, eh?
TTT SPOILER WARNING!
(not really in this chapter)
This chapter should be amusing. Key word: should....^^;
And yes, finally the evil pink tape AND the Merry and Pippin diet rise from the dead again...I didn't mean to kill them. ^^; honestly...oo; *runs to hide from angry readers* Tomatoes can hurt, or so I've heard.
********************************************************
[The vanquishing of Van-whats-her-name, the diet, and dundundun! The evil pink video tape!]
"GIMLI! I've just had a BRILLIANT idea!" Aragorn panted while attempting to continue running. Those fangirls NEVER tire..
"Well, let's hear it before we get murdered! I've already weakened with the pummeling of 3 tomatoes on my back..." Gimli worriedly said.
"Let's stop first or I'm gonna kill myself running out of breath!" Aragorn was hyperventilating again.
"Are you CRAZY? They're right behind us!"
"WATCH ME,"
"Ohhhh no. You're can get yourself killed, but I, on the other hand, plan to live a bit longer!" Gimli thumped to the ground as Aragorn pulled the back of his mail collar.
"LISTEN UP, YOU LEGOLAS FANGIRLS! Do you know what a MARY SUE is?" Aragorn shouted. The fangirls and stopped and conversed with each other.
"THE PERFECT INDESTRUCTABLE BITCH?" someone from the back of the fangirl crowed yelled.
"Exactly!" Aragorn said, then dramatically continued. "One of THOSE is lurking among us! And you know where? RIGHT IN LEGOLAS'S ARMS! Save him before the two do the nasty! The horizontal mambo! The IT! SAVE HIM, FOR VALAR'S SAKE, SAVE HIM!" Aragorn cried. The fangirls erupted. They immediately ran at a speed thought to be impossible to reach in the direction Aragorn pointed in.
"I never thought I'd say this, Aragorn, but-" Gimli started.
"I'm a genius saving two problems at once? I know, I know," Aragorn smiled, waving his hand modestly.
"Nooo...I was GOING to say that you are, in fact, an idiot,"
"What??"
"Do you think Legolas is going to be SAFE in the hands of that dangerous pink horde? What will happen IF the Mary Sue gets destroyed? What if she TAKES OVER the fangirls??" Gimli narrowed his eyes.
"No! No way! That's IMPOSSIBLE! They won't let her! And well, at least Legolas MIGHT be safer in their hands...." Aragorn frowned.
"You are jumping to dangerous conclusions, Aragorn. DANGEROUS conclusions, my lad," Gimli shook his finger. Aragorn nervously rubbed his hands.
"All right! Hurry! Let's follow the fangirls!" Aragorn resumed running again. Maybe they should've bought those SlimFast exercise bars when they took a restroom stop on the way to Isengard...
++++++++++++++++++++++
"Merry? Where ARE they? They should've been here ages ago!" Pippin paced in their hiding spot, waiting for Legolas and Aragorn.
"They must've been conquered...we lost them...." Merry said darkly, looking at the ground.
"Don't be so pessimistic! Maybe they lost their way. You know how bad they are at directions," Pippin said in a hopeful tone.
"Hmm..you're right," Merry nodded. "Maybe they just got lost,"
"Right. And we can eat while we wait for them," Pippin said eagerly.
"Right," Merry nodded again and snapped out his foldable food and drink concession stand.
"Oooo! Popcorn! Merry, can we? Can we?" Pippin leaped excitedly, holding up a bag of popcorn (of course).
"Do you see a MICROWAVE?"
"No.."
"Do you even remember our DIET??" Merry said, his eyes strangely blazing....
"No..I mean, yes! Yes! Forgive me! May the Valar hit me with a lightning bolt for thinking such a thing!" Pippin cried. A lightning bolt hit Pippin and then all Merry could see was a black and charred hobbit figure.
"Pippin?..Are you ok?" Merry poked Pippin. Pippin coughed out a mouthful of ash and gagged.
"I didn't mean it literally!"
"Oops," the Valar said unanimously.
"That was cruel of you!" a female Valar could be heard slapping another Valar.
"Whaaat? He TOLD us to! And really, when was the last time we got to throw a lightning bolt?..." The argument continued faintly in the clouds somewhere. Merry and Pippin looked at the sky in amazement.
"So the Valar really DOES exist...." Pippin blinked.
"SHH! Not so loud!" Merry hissed. He looked at the other food. "Umm....would you like some oatmeal?"
"What kind?"
"Apple cinnamon....I think,"
"Ooo! Yay! Lowers cholesterol and has practically no calories! This is good stuff," Pippin jumped up and down. Merry could only blink and bend down again. There has GOT to be a maple sugar oatmeal packet SOMEWHERE.....or someone would surely die. At the hands of an angry, maple-sugar-oatmeal- loving, hungry-rabid hobbit. And no one wants to die like that.
Merry-loving fangirl: ME! I DO! I DO! I- *clunk! and thump! is heard*
Well, not me at least.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Oh, Legolas. You're so beautiful. And so am I. We go perfectly together! Have you made up your undying-love speech yet! I can hardly wait!" Van squealed, tossing her SHINING hair and laughed (aka giggle madly).
"Eh, er, undying-love...." Legolas repeated, his eyes glazed over and in shock.
"Oh! You DO love me! And because I'm skinny and beautiful and a perfect warrior and I'm smarter than Elrond, right?" Her PERFECTLY white teeth flashed (aka blinds half the world).
"Erp..."
"You said yes! Oh, I've waited so long! Half and hour is like FOREVER, did you-" Van stopped, suddenly hearing something with her ELVEN ears. "Do you hear something?"
"Erp..."
"Yeah, so do I....Orcs! It's orcs!" Van shrieked. And she brought out her famed sword of idiocy....again. The fangirls circled around them. "It's NOT orcs! What are they? What are they?!" In her moment of frenzy, the spell momentarily loosened.
"Huh?" Legolas's eyes slowly turned back to its normal blue. Hundreds of blazing-red fangirl eyes were boring furiously on Van.
"Uh, ah, I'll FIGHT YOU ALL!" Van cried miserably and swung her deadly sword at them. The fangirls came closer. Legolas was about to cry. He was on the Mary Sue's pointy-horned horse, yet surrounded by fangirls. The Mary Sue? Or the fangirls? His mind whirled. But he didn't have a choice anyway. The fangirls let out a unanimous warrior-like cry and leaped upon Van as a single pink entity. In the fray, Legolas escaped in tears. He ran into the forest and shimmied up a random tree, hugging the branches.
"I am NEVER letting you go," he gripped the branches lovingly. One piercing shriek and Legolas knew. His heart lifted.
"LADIES, SHE HAS BEEN DEMOLISHED! DE-MARY-SUED! DE-EXISTED!" one fangirl leader cried with voraciousness as she pointed triumphantly at what was left. A shred of Van's pink dress. Where the rest of her went, I don't want to know. And neither do you. "Wait, what's this?" the leader quickly brushed aside the evil pink material and brought up a...dundundun!..pink video tape! "It must belong to Legolas or something," she rationalized. "We must return it to him!" The fangirls joyously screamed. They finally had SOME sort of reason to see Legolas again! They ran off in different directions. Legolas HAD to be SOMEWHERE within a 50-mile radius....
+++++++++++++++++++
"Gimli...." Aragorn gasped.
"You wanna rest AGAIN? Even I can run faster than you!" Gimli sighed exasperatingly.
"No! Do you feel it? A GLOOM. Of DOOM! Has fallen upon us...." Aragorn said, eyes widening to the point of....
"You look like an idiot. No, there's no- wait. I think I feel it. A heavy cloud of doom!" Gimli said in fear. A heavy black cloud bearing a sign "DOOM!" swooshed over to Gimli's head and began to pelt him with raindrops. Aragorn doubled up in laughter.
"WHAT did I just tell you?? We are GODS, not CHILDREN!" Another slapping noise could be heard from the clouds.
"But he ASKED for it! I mean seriously....." and the argument continued...
********************************************************
So whadja think? ^^; *points subtlely to review button*
;_; I'm sorry it's so short this time....I tried! I have way too much homework. x_x well, I hope you enjoyed what little I had to write...*hides in terror of flying tomatoes and pointy sticks and heavy objects*
NOTES (I shall be doing these from now on. ^^):
Shadow Phantom: aww, you're welcome! "And yes, us Russians must stick together for the sake of the Motherland....or something." Ahahaha! XD And a SERIOUS chapter? Hmm...just maybe... :D And you have a wonderfullific day too.
SaraM: You shocked me with all your lovely reviews. But that's ok, my heart has restarted. ^___^ Thank you!! Here's the update.
Elfgrl: :o) I'm continuing! Thankees!
EvilHamsterSlave: Aww, really? ^_^ Thank you! I feel happy. And WITHOUT the anti-depressants this time.
Meghann: Thank you! I'm glad this cheered you up. ^_^
Chocolate lover: :D Thank you! Shh, I'll tell you a secret: I'm a Legolas fangirl too! I just like bashing the insane ones. What? Me? Insane? Nope, never....
Tara: xD Hmm, I think so...And thank you!
Eibbor N: Whoo! A fellow MS hater! *parades around with a I HATE MARY SUES flag* ^_^ Thank you! I wrote more...see above. ^^;
When the moron comes: Thank you!! And no, I have NO idea who invented the Leggy thing....but whoever did will have made Tolkien turn several more times in his grave. ^^;
Pokemonrex: Thank you! :o)
Rikkucroft: Thank you! O_O They are, aren't they? I'm sorry! The diet is back! It's back! Don't kill me..
A.Lien: :D Your welcome..and thank you!!
Kierin: Thank you! :o)
Esteladuial: Your'e back! *sobs and hands you a plate of cookies* I missed you. ;_; wait! Don't run! I swear I'm not insane or attach-y...really. ^^;
Aerin: Aha! We must stick together, we wise people...and thankees!
Isilhén: ^_____^ Legolas is a lovely hero-ish kind of elf, eh? Thank you!
Chicki45: Thank you! And oh, nope. Never seen you, never heard about you....^^;
StacyBaggins: Ai! Thankees! :D Here it is.
Aranel: :o) Thank you!! And by the time you read this...the Mary Sue is gone! Whoo! *elfy happy dance* *throws a party*
randomwriter96
Disclaimer: Own nothing. Have nothing. ^^; Therefore, don't sue. Have nothing = have no money. Oo; Unless you absolutely have to have 15 cents...
BTW~ Thank you to those who still review! *hug* ^^; although I don't blame you if you didn't cause if I did, I'd be hypocritical. And the fact that I am a slow updater..
Note: Look below. I have read the warning thing and realized (slow that I am) it was useless and took up way too much space and way too many exclamation marks...much like an overexcited 12-year-old. Oo; That I do not want to be. So I give you the revised warning! Better, eh?
TTT SPOILER WARNING!
(not really in this chapter)
This chapter should be amusing. Key word: should....^^;
And yes, finally the evil pink tape AND the Merry and Pippin diet rise from the dead again...I didn't mean to kill them. ^^; honestly...oo; *runs to hide from angry readers* Tomatoes can hurt, or so I've heard.
********************************************************
[The vanquishing of Van-whats-her-name, the diet, and dundundun! The evil pink video tape!]
"GIMLI! I've just had a BRILLIANT idea!" Aragorn panted while attempting to continue running. Those fangirls NEVER tire..
"Well, let's hear it before we get murdered! I've already weakened with the pummeling of 3 tomatoes on my back..." Gimli worriedly said.
"Let's stop first or I'm gonna kill myself running out of breath!" Aragorn was hyperventilating again.
"Are you CRAZY? They're right behind us!"
"WATCH ME,"
"Ohhhh no. You're can get yourself killed, but I, on the other hand, plan to live a bit longer!" Gimli thumped to the ground as Aragorn pulled the back of his mail collar.
"LISTEN UP, YOU LEGOLAS FANGIRLS! Do you know what a MARY SUE is?" Aragorn shouted. The fangirls and stopped and conversed with each other.
"THE PERFECT INDESTRUCTABLE BITCH?" someone from the back of the fangirl crowed yelled.
"Exactly!" Aragorn said, then dramatically continued. "One of THOSE is lurking among us! And you know where? RIGHT IN LEGOLAS'S ARMS! Save him before the two do the nasty! The horizontal mambo! The IT! SAVE HIM, FOR VALAR'S SAKE, SAVE HIM!" Aragorn cried. The fangirls erupted. They immediately ran at a speed thought to be impossible to reach in the direction Aragorn pointed in.
"I never thought I'd say this, Aragorn, but-" Gimli started.
"I'm a genius saving two problems at once? I know, I know," Aragorn smiled, waving his hand modestly.
"Nooo...I was GOING to say that you are, in fact, an idiot,"
"What??"
"Do you think Legolas is going to be SAFE in the hands of that dangerous pink horde? What will happen IF the Mary Sue gets destroyed? What if she TAKES OVER the fangirls??" Gimli narrowed his eyes.
"No! No way! That's IMPOSSIBLE! They won't let her! And well, at least Legolas MIGHT be safer in their hands...." Aragorn frowned.
"You are jumping to dangerous conclusions, Aragorn. DANGEROUS conclusions, my lad," Gimli shook his finger. Aragorn nervously rubbed his hands.
"All right! Hurry! Let's follow the fangirls!" Aragorn resumed running again. Maybe they should've bought those SlimFast exercise bars when they took a restroom stop on the way to Isengard...
++++++++++++++++++++++
"Merry? Where ARE they? They should've been here ages ago!" Pippin paced in their hiding spot, waiting for Legolas and Aragorn.
"They must've been conquered...we lost them...." Merry said darkly, looking at the ground.
"Don't be so pessimistic! Maybe they lost their way. You know how bad they are at directions," Pippin said in a hopeful tone.
"Hmm..you're right," Merry nodded. "Maybe they just got lost,"
"Right. And we can eat while we wait for them," Pippin said eagerly.
"Right," Merry nodded again and snapped out his foldable food and drink concession stand.
"Oooo! Popcorn! Merry, can we? Can we?" Pippin leaped excitedly, holding up a bag of popcorn (of course).
"Do you see a MICROWAVE?"
"No.."
"Do you even remember our DIET??" Merry said, his eyes strangely blazing....
"No..I mean, yes! Yes! Forgive me! May the Valar hit me with a lightning bolt for thinking such a thing!" Pippin cried. A lightning bolt hit Pippin and then all Merry could see was a black and charred hobbit figure.
"Pippin?..Are you ok?" Merry poked Pippin. Pippin coughed out a mouthful of ash and gagged.
"I didn't mean it literally!"
"Oops," the Valar said unanimously.
"That was cruel of you!" a female Valar could be heard slapping another Valar.
"Whaaat? He TOLD us to! And really, when was the last time we got to throw a lightning bolt?..." The argument continued faintly in the clouds somewhere. Merry and Pippin looked at the sky in amazement.
"So the Valar really DOES exist...." Pippin blinked.
"SHH! Not so loud!" Merry hissed. He looked at the other food. "Umm....would you like some oatmeal?"
"What kind?"
"Apple cinnamon....I think,"
"Ooo! Yay! Lowers cholesterol and has practically no calories! This is good stuff," Pippin jumped up and down. Merry could only blink and bend down again. There has GOT to be a maple sugar oatmeal packet SOMEWHERE.....or someone would surely die. At the hands of an angry, maple-sugar-oatmeal- loving, hungry-rabid hobbit. And no one wants to die like that.
Merry-loving fangirl: ME! I DO! I DO! I- *clunk! and thump! is heard*
Well, not me at least.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Oh, Legolas. You're so beautiful. And so am I. We go perfectly together! Have you made up your undying-love speech yet! I can hardly wait!" Van squealed, tossing her SHINING hair and laughed (aka giggle madly).
"Eh, er, undying-love...." Legolas repeated, his eyes glazed over and in shock.
"Oh! You DO love me! And because I'm skinny and beautiful and a perfect warrior and I'm smarter than Elrond, right?" Her PERFECTLY white teeth flashed (aka blinds half the world).
"Erp..."
"You said yes! Oh, I've waited so long! Half and hour is like FOREVER, did you-" Van stopped, suddenly hearing something with her ELVEN ears. "Do you hear something?"
"Erp..."
"Yeah, so do I....Orcs! It's orcs!" Van shrieked. And she brought out her famed sword of idiocy....again. The fangirls circled around them. "It's NOT orcs! What are they? What are they?!" In her moment of frenzy, the spell momentarily loosened.
"Huh?" Legolas's eyes slowly turned back to its normal blue. Hundreds of blazing-red fangirl eyes were boring furiously on Van.
"Uh, ah, I'll FIGHT YOU ALL!" Van cried miserably and swung her deadly sword at them. The fangirls came closer. Legolas was about to cry. He was on the Mary Sue's pointy-horned horse, yet surrounded by fangirls. The Mary Sue? Or the fangirls? His mind whirled. But he didn't have a choice anyway. The fangirls let out a unanimous warrior-like cry and leaped upon Van as a single pink entity. In the fray, Legolas escaped in tears. He ran into the forest and shimmied up a random tree, hugging the branches.
"I am NEVER letting you go," he gripped the branches lovingly. One piercing shriek and Legolas knew. His heart lifted.
"LADIES, SHE HAS BEEN DEMOLISHED! DE-MARY-SUED! DE-EXISTED!" one fangirl leader cried with voraciousness as she pointed triumphantly at what was left. A shred of Van's pink dress. Where the rest of her went, I don't want to know. And neither do you. "Wait, what's this?" the leader quickly brushed aside the evil pink material and brought up a...dundundun!..pink video tape! "It must belong to Legolas or something," she rationalized. "We must return it to him!" The fangirls joyously screamed. They finally had SOME sort of reason to see Legolas again! They ran off in different directions. Legolas HAD to be SOMEWHERE within a 50-mile radius....
+++++++++++++++++++
"Gimli...." Aragorn gasped.
"You wanna rest AGAIN? Even I can run faster than you!" Gimli sighed exasperatingly.
"No! Do you feel it? A GLOOM. Of DOOM! Has fallen upon us...." Aragorn said, eyes widening to the point of....
"You look like an idiot. No, there's no- wait. I think I feel it. A heavy cloud of doom!" Gimli said in fear. A heavy black cloud bearing a sign "DOOM!" swooshed over to Gimli's head and began to pelt him with raindrops. Aragorn doubled up in laughter.
"WHAT did I just tell you?? We are GODS, not CHILDREN!" Another slapping noise could be heard from the clouds.
"But he ASKED for it! I mean seriously....." and the argument continued...
********************************************************
So whadja think? ^^; *points subtlely to review button*
;_; I'm sorry it's so short this time....I tried! I have way too much homework. x_x well, I hope you enjoyed what little I had to write...*hides in terror of flying tomatoes and pointy sticks and heavy objects*
NOTES (I shall be doing these from now on. ^^):
Shadow Phantom: aww, you're welcome! "And yes, us Russians must stick together for the sake of the Motherland....or something." Ahahaha! XD And a SERIOUS chapter? Hmm...just maybe... :D And you have a wonderfullific day too.
SaraM: You shocked me with all your lovely reviews. But that's ok, my heart has restarted. ^___^ Thank you!! Here's the update.
Elfgrl: :o) I'm continuing! Thankees!
EvilHamsterSlave: Aww, really? ^_^ Thank you! I feel happy. And WITHOUT the anti-depressants this time.
Meghann: Thank you! I'm glad this cheered you up. ^_^
Chocolate lover: :D Thank you! Shh, I'll tell you a secret: I'm a Legolas fangirl too! I just like bashing the insane ones. What? Me? Insane? Nope, never....
Tara: xD Hmm, I think so...And thank you!
Eibbor N: Whoo! A fellow MS hater! *parades around with a I HATE MARY SUES flag* ^_^ Thank you! I wrote more...see above. ^^;
When the moron comes: Thank you!! And no, I have NO idea who invented the Leggy thing....but whoever did will have made Tolkien turn several more times in his grave. ^^;
Pokemonrex: Thank you! :o)
Rikkucroft: Thank you! O_O They are, aren't they? I'm sorry! The diet is back! It's back! Don't kill me..
A.Lien: :D Your welcome..and thank you!!
Kierin: Thank you! :o)
Esteladuial: Your'e back! *sobs and hands you a plate of cookies* I missed you. ;_; wait! Don't run! I swear I'm not insane or attach-y...really. ^^;
Aerin: Aha! We must stick together, we wise people...and thankees!
Isilhén: ^_____^ Legolas is a lovely hero-ish kind of elf, eh? Thank you!
Chicki45: Thank you! And oh, nope. Never seen you, never heard about you....^^;
StacyBaggins: Ai! Thankees! :D Here it is.
Aranel: :o) Thank you!! And by the time you read this...the Mary Sue is gone! Whoo! *elfy happy dance* *throws a party*