Thank you for reviewing people! Ral vantz to thank you and vill answerrr
you individually. Ze review replies are at ze bottom. Hope you like this
chapter too. ^.~
*~*
"A little to the left..."
Ral heard herself say and she also heard some giggles. She slowly opened her eyes and saw three women with pointy ears around her. One of them was massaging her back, the other was feeding her grapes and the third was playing a lyre.
She immediately jumped out of the bed in shock. She sort of felt graceful...strange to say since she was always clumsy. "EWW! What the hell?! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO ME??!"
The woman who was massaging her looked at her in a puzzled way, "What ever is wrong my lord? You asked me to massage your back muscles for you... And I gladly accepted..." She added batting her eyelashes at her.
"What? I asked you that? Am I like in a lesbian salon or something?...wait a minute...did you just say 'my lord'?" Ral asked.
The woman nodded and stood up.
Ral took a step back, "AND DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN TO YOU?!?!?"
The woman nodded again and got closer to Ral, "Oh yes, my lord. You are a man. A MANLY man. I have waited for so long to tell thee my secret. How I think of thee every night. How my heart is always full of woe for I am not able to have thee in my arms, for I am but a mere elf-maid."
"Oh God! Get away from me!" Ral said as she pulled away from the woman's arms that were holding her and tried to run away.
"You can run but you cannot hide from the eyes of the Elven maid Merenwen Calafalas!" The woman yelled as she dropped to her knees. "For I will always be there in your room to fluff your pillows and massage you!"
"I'm NOT A LESBIAN!!" Ral yelled as she tried to find a way out or the room. She saw large double doors decorated in flowers and vines and she burst out of them.
"Oh my friggin'...god..." Ral gasped as she gaped at the place she just entered. It seemed to be some form of hallway that was so high, a giant could fit in. It was beautiful, even for a hallway, which was a rare thing to say because Ral for some reason was scared of them and found them evil. The closest thing she can relate them to were the ones in Rivendell in the movie Lord of the Rings, only they were more beautiful.
People passing her were bowing down to her. 'Ok...this is so weird...' She thought. 'Did the spell really work? Am I in Middle-earth? And did that woman say she was an elf?? And oh God, please don't tell me the people here are gay and lesbian!'
Suddenly she heard someone call out, "Legolas!"
Ral jumped, "Legolas?! WHERE!! WHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRREEEEEE!!!??!"
A man who looked strangely like our favorite elf only seemed a bit older walked up to Ral, "There you are, son."
"OH MY GOD!!" Ral jumped into the man's arms. "LEGOLAS!! ME LUUUUUURVES YOU!! ME WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNTSSSSSS YOU!! You're mine! My own! My preciousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"
"Are you feeling well, Legolas?" The man asked in concern. "Don't you know you're father?"
"What the hell are you saying, dear husband?--Yes, I'm married to you now, got a problem with that?" Said Ral as she tried to kiss him.
He pushed her away in disgust, "LEGOLAS! Get a hold of yourself! You are a prince and you should behave yourself properly in public for Elbereth's sake!"
"Are you saying that I'm Legolas?"
The man who seemed to think he's Thranduil nodded even though he was puzzled by his son's reactions.
Ral looked at her body--no wonder she felt all weird and different inside! She was wearing a man's white tunic decorated with silver vines and gray- ish blue leggings.
"SHUT! UP!" She said unbelievably.
"I beg your pardon?" Thranduil said, frowning.
Ral looked around and ran to one of the many mirrors that were in the hallway and peered in it. There she saw a reflection of a slender male elf with blue eyes and long blond hair staring back at her. She began jumping up and down and screamed happily. "MY HUNNY BUNNY IS HERE!! OH MY GOD! HE'S LOOKING AT ME!!"
The people around her stared at her (or was it him...? ) strangely as they covered their ears from the noise.
"Legolas? Are you alright?" Thranduil asked as he eyed his son who was now doing baby talk to the mirror as he kissed it.
"Who's the sexy beast? Who? You are! You are!"
"LEGOLAS!"
Ral looked at him angrily as if he just interrupted her from something important (which yes he did) and cleared her throat, "Yes dear Legolas-look- alike-but-is-not-him-because-you're-not-really-him father?"
Thranduil sighed and shook his head, "I really do not know what is wrong with you but you must come with me."
"No wait! I have to go to the bathroom for a close-up!" Ral yelled as she hugged the mirror.
"Not now! We have a council to attend." He said as his face wrinkled at what Ral really meant. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her away as she desperately tried to snatch one of the mirrors on the way.
*~*
"Yes mommy...I do want ice-cream. Can I please have some? They sure look tasty...What? You have to go to Taiwan? Already? But I thought that you're leaving when Leonardo De Vinci comes back home so we can have our Christmas turkey..." Shirel mumbled as she stirred.
Suddenly she heard birds softly chirp and sing, and the smell of flowers and leaves crept up her nose. "What the hell? Since when do you sing like that?"
Her eyes slowly opened and she found herself up on a thick tree branch. "What the fuck?" She looked down and her vision was now clear. She screamed, lost her balance and fell face-flat on the ground.
"Oh... where's thick grass when you need it?" She said getting up as she spat some dead grass out of her mouth. "And what the hell am I doing in a forest? Wasn't I in Tam's house a while ago?"
She spread out her hand to look at her watch for the time but she wasn't wearing it. Suddenly, she noticed that her voice was changed. "Oh my god...what's going on?"
Shirel looked at her hands and noticed the long muscular fingers. She ran up to a calm lake and on the way, she noticed a large sheath dangling from her belt. 'Ok...I'm defenetly in my own clothes.' She thought as she looked into the water and indeed saw a man staring back at her. "What the fuck? Is that Viggo Mortensen?"
She looked behind her...but no one was there. She looked back into the water again and the man was staring back at her. Shirel slowly got up, breathed slowly, shut her eyes and mumbled to herself, "Ok...calm down. Ever thing's gonna be alright. Don't panick."
But she couldn't hold herself so she let out a horrifying scream. (Yes, when I say horrifying I MEAN horrifying...Imagine a guy screaming the way she did...)
All the birds fluttered away and the forest was silent. Even the flowers closed up in fright...
*~*
Angelia found herself, for no reason, dancing on top of the table, singing a beer song to a crowd gathered around her.
"I once had math teacher,
His name was Mr. Lemay!
He's sixty years, with huge red ears,
And he was really gay!
But my friend finds him sexy,
She's very in love with him!
I know it's dim,
But she'll marry him,
In the month of May!"
The people around her clunked their beer mugs together and cheered as Angelia embarrassedly climbed down the table. Strange...she felt a little short. And all the people around her had curly hair and huge shoeless feet.
Suddenly a crazy thought perked up in her head, 'Am I in Middle-earth? In Bilbo's party??'
A stout girl with huge red cheeks and yes, she had curly hair and big feet walked up to her. "I really liked that song, Pippin. Though I did not know you had a math teacher. And what is Math anyway? Is it another one of your incomprehensible invented words?"
"My name's not Pippin, it's Angelia." She said.
"What are you saying, silly? I know who you are! You used to live next door to me!" She said. "Don't you remember Polly Bumbleroot?"
"Um...no. Sorry, I think you got the wrong person..." Angelia said apologetically.
Polly was about to say something but someone cut her off.
"Hey you! How do you know about Lemay!?"
Angelia turned around and saw... "Merry? MERRY!?! As in DOMINIC!?!"
"What are you talking about? My name's Shera Robinson."
"What? Haha, good joke." Angelia said. "Can I have you're autograph!?"
"Hey listen buddy," Merry-look-alike said. "I ain't Merry, and you ain't that Pippin ok? I don't even know what's going on! And I don't wanna believe anything that is happening incase this is 'Candid Camera' and I end up making a fool out of myself in public! So cut crap and tell me who you are."
"You cut the crap!" Angelia said. "You're Merry or probably Dominic Monaghan in costume who is trying to make a fool out of me. I'm not Pippin! I'm Angelia."
"Ok, shut up and stop being sad. Now you're trying to confuse ME! You're not Angelia--look!" Shera picked up a silver plate and held it up for Angelia to see.
Angelia looked into it and saw a reflection that looked like the actor Billy Boyd. "No...No...no." She said slowly as she touched her face.
"Yes, yes, yes." Shera said.
"Oh yeah? Look at yourself!" Angelia snatched the plate and pointed it at the Hobbit.
Shera looked at screamed. "What's going on!?"
They both looked at each other and said in unison, "The spell!"
Suddenly they heard an old man swearing loudly.
*~*
Tamara sat quietly smoking a pipe and stroking her beard...wait a minute...
'I'm doing what??' She thought.
She looked down and saw a large gray beard hiding her chest. "Eww! What the hell!?"
She took something off her head that was bothering her which turned out to be a tall pointy hat. "Something weird is going on..."
Tamara got up and her gray robes swayed with her. She touched her hair and was shocked to discover it had tons of tangles not to mention it was messy and unmanageable (doesn't Tam always say that it was in the first place? I actually like her hair!).
"Ooooh, really bad hair day." She muttered.
"Gandalf?" A voice said. "Are you feeling well? You sure are acting strange now."
Tamara looked down and saw Bilbo! She stared at him stupidly for what seemed to be like an hour. "Did you just call me Gandalf?"
"Yes, who else do you think you are?" Bilbo said. "Gandalf Greyham. Don't you know your name?"
Tamara looked around slowly at the people dancing around and sighed, "This is unbelievable, I must be dreaming..."
Bilbo ran up to her and pinched her.
"Ouch! Get away from me you little furry thing!"
"Gandalf? You don't seem to be acting like yourself, lately..." Bilbo said in concern.
"I'M NOT GANDALF!!" Tamara yelled. Suddenly she began jumping up and down in anger trying to rip out the beard.
Hobbits around her looked at her and began laughing. One little Hobbitling (am I even aloud to use that as a word??) tugged at her mother's dress saying, "Mommy! Mommy! Look at Gandalf! He's crrrrrrrrraaaaaaazy."
Tamara stopped what she was doing as realization struck her on the head, an I mean literally, because one Hobbit-kid threw a half-eaten apple on her head as the realization did so.
"The spell went wrong because we didn't sacrifice JO-JO under Mr. Moon- moon!" Tamara said as her mouth formed a huge 'O'. Suddenly she began kicking everything in her way angrily (yes, including Bilbo...) as she yelled in rage and stomped the ground.
"Fackin' shit! Fack! I don't wanna be here! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkk!! Fooooooook! Oh my fackin' God!!" She yelled on top of her voice...
*~*
How was it? I sure had fun writing it! ^.^
Next up, Romina and Inga. Can you guess who they are? No I'm serious, if you don't know they turn out to be, then you're definitely a dud. (Oh sorry, it's because lack of sleep that I'm like this!)
*~*
YOU HAVE TO HEAR THE SONG FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGS CD, IT'S CALLED 'REQUIREM FOR A DREAM!' IT'S THE BEST!! I'm in lurve with it... *sighs happily and runs to get the CD*
*~*
Anyways, review replies!
__*nAnCy*__: Lol, Thankies!
La bomba Latina: Now you're gonna get mad at me, lol. You weren't in this chapter at all! But I promise you'll be in the next one. And I was PRETTY sure you had a pet chicken. Hmm...He probably got chick-napped and eaten by someone... (poor JO-JO)
zainab!: Lol, thanks. And yes you WERE bitchy to me last night when camp- boy came online. *picks up flamethrower* Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fly to Toronto! *leaps in the air and flies like Superman*
shirel: Lol, wow you always get happy when I mention you're name in my stories (Which I barely do) ! Anyways thanks, and you better review for this one!
Chaveline: That was my ONLY chapter. Anyways, hope this chapter was good! ^.^
Junny-juju-bug: Yay, thankies! Yes, we're a bunch of crazy nutcases sometimes. You should see us in the hallway. We sort of scare innocent people passing by...
Butterfly: Coolies! You wanna put my story on ur site! Sure, go ahead! BUT, you must give me the link of your site when it's up! ^.^
Nevweh: Yay, thanks! Mary-Jane? Isn't that the woman from Tarzan? I thought it was Mary-Sue...
Dimostiel: Hehe, I think you were my first reviewer right? Anyways, hope you liked this chapter! Thanks!
*~*
"A little to the left..."
Ral heard herself say and she also heard some giggles. She slowly opened her eyes and saw three women with pointy ears around her. One of them was massaging her back, the other was feeding her grapes and the third was playing a lyre.
She immediately jumped out of the bed in shock. She sort of felt graceful...strange to say since she was always clumsy. "EWW! What the hell?! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO ME??!"
The woman who was massaging her looked at her in a puzzled way, "What ever is wrong my lord? You asked me to massage your back muscles for you... And I gladly accepted..." She added batting her eyelashes at her.
"What? I asked you that? Am I like in a lesbian salon or something?...wait a minute...did you just say 'my lord'?" Ral asked.
The woman nodded and stood up.
Ral took a step back, "AND DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN TO YOU?!?!?"
The woman nodded again and got closer to Ral, "Oh yes, my lord. You are a man. A MANLY man. I have waited for so long to tell thee my secret. How I think of thee every night. How my heart is always full of woe for I am not able to have thee in my arms, for I am but a mere elf-maid."
"Oh God! Get away from me!" Ral said as she pulled away from the woman's arms that were holding her and tried to run away.
"You can run but you cannot hide from the eyes of the Elven maid Merenwen Calafalas!" The woman yelled as she dropped to her knees. "For I will always be there in your room to fluff your pillows and massage you!"
"I'm NOT A LESBIAN!!" Ral yelled as she tried to find a way out or the room. She saw large double doors decorated in flowers and vines and she burst out of them.
"Oh my friggin'...god..." Ral gasped as she gaped at the place she just entered. It seemed to be some form of hallway that was so high, a giant could fit in. It was beautiful, even for a hallway, which was a rare thing to say because Ral for some reason was scared of them and found them evil. The closest thing she can relate them to were the ones in Rivendell in the movie Lord of the Rings, only they were more beautiful.
People passing her were bowing down to her. 'Ok...this is so weird...' She thought. 'Did the spell really work? Am I in Middle-earth? And did that woman say she was an elf?? And oh God, please don't tell me the people here are gay and lesbian!'
Suddenly she heard someone call out, "Legolas!"
Ral jumped, "Legolas?! WHERE!! WHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRREEEEEE!!!??!"
A man who looked strangely like our favorite elf only seemed a bit older walked up to Ral, "There you are, son."
"OH MY GOD!!" Ral jumped into the man's arms. "LEGOLAS!! ME LUUUUUURVES YOU!! ME WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNTSSSSSS YOU!! You're mine! My own! My preciousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"
"Are you feeling well, Legolas?" The man asked in concern. "Don't you know you're father?"
"What the hell are you saying, dear husband?--Yes, I'm married to you now, got a problem with that?" Said Ral as she tried to kiss him.
He pushed her away in disgust, "LEGOLAS! Get a hold of yourself! You are a prince and you should behave yourself properly in public for Elbereth's sake!"
"Are you saying that I'm Legolas?"
The man who seemed to think he's Thranduil nodded even though he was puzzled by his son's reactions.
Ral looked at her body--no wonder she felt all weird and different inside! She was wearing a man's white tunic decorated with silver vines and gray- ish blue leggings.
"SHUT! UP!" She said unbelievably.
"I beg your pardon?" Thranduil said, frowning.
Ral looked around and ran to one of the many mirrors that were in the hallway and peered in it. There she saw a reflection of a slender male elf with blue eyes and long blond hair staring back at her. She began jumping up and down and screamed happily. "MY HUNNY BUNNY IS HERE!! OH MY GOD! HE'S LOOKING AT ME!!"
The people around her stared at her (or was it him...? ) strangely as they covered their ears from the noise.
"Legolas? Are you alright?" Thranduil asked as he eyed his son who was now doing baby talk to the mirror as he kissed it.
"Who's the sexy beast? Who? You are! You are!"
"LEGOLAS!"
Ral looked at him angrily as if he just interrupted her from something important (which yes he did) and cleared her throat, "Yes dear Legolas-look- alike-but-is-not-him-because-you're-not-really-him father?"
Thranduil sighed and shook his head, "I really do not know what is wrong with you but you must come with me."
"No wait! I have to go to the bathroom for a close-up!" Ral yelled as she hugged the mirror.
"Not now! We have a council to attend." He said as his face wrinkled at what Ral really meant. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her away as she desperately tried to snatch one of the mirrors on the way.
*~*
"Yes mommy...I do want ice-cream. Can I please have some? They sure look tasty...What? You have to go to Taiwan? Already? But I thought that you're leaving when Leonardo De Vinci comes back home so we can have our Christmas turkey..." Shirel mumbled as she stirred.
Suddenly she heard birds softly chirp and sing, and the smell of flowers and leaves crept up her nose. "What the hell? Since when do you sing like that?"
Her eyes slowly opened and she found herself up on a thick tree branch. "What the fuck?" She looked down and her vision was now clear. She screamed, lost her balance and fell face-flat on the ground.
"Oh... where's thick grass when you need it?" She said getting up as she spat some dead grass out of her mouth. "And what the hell am I doing in a forest? Wasn't I in Tam's house a while ago?"
She spread out her hand to look at her watch for the time but she wasn't wearing it. Suddenly, she noticed that her voice was changed. "Oh my god...what's going on?"
Shirel looked at her hands and noticed the long muscular fingers. She ran up to a calm lake and on the way, she noticed a large sheath dangling from her belt. 'Ok...I'm defenetly in my own clothes.' She thought as she looked into the water and indeed saw a man staring back at her. "What the fuck? Is that Viggo Mortensen?"
She looked behind her...but no one was there. She looked back into the water again and the man was staring back at her. Shirel slowly got up, breathed slowly, shut her eyes and mumbled to herself, "Ok...calm down. Ever thing's gonna be alright. Don't panick."
But she couldn't hold herself so she let out a horrifying scream. (Yes, when I say horrifying I MEAN horrifying...Imagine a guy screaming the way she did...)
All the birds fluttered away and the forest was silent. Even the flowers closed up in fright...
*~*
Angelia found herself, for no reason, dancing on top of the table, singing a beer song to a crowd gathered around her.
"I once had math teacher,
His name was Mr. Lemay!
He's sixty years, with huge red ears,
And he was really gay!
But my friend finds him sexy,
She's very in love with him!
I know it's dim,
But she'll marry him,
In the month of May!"
The people around her clunked their beer mugs together and cheered as Angelia embarrassedly climbed down the table. Strange...she felt a little short. And all the people around her had curly hair and huge shoeless feet.
Suddenly a crazy thought perked up in her head, 'Am I in Middle-earth? In Bilbo's party??'
A stout girl with huge red cheeks and yes, she had curly hair and big feet walked up to her. "I really liked that song, Pippin. Though I did not know you had a math teacher. And what is Math anyway? Is it another one of your incomprehensible invented words?"
"My name's not Pippin, it's Angelia." She said.
"What are you saying, silly? I know who you are! You used to live next door to me!" She said. "Don't you remember Polly Bumbleroot?"
"Um...no. Sorry, I think you got the wrong person..." Angelia said apologetically.
Polly was about to say something but someone cut her off.
"Hey you! How do you know about Lemay!?"
Angelia turned around and saw... "Merry? MERRY!?! As in DOMINIC!?!"
"What are you talking about? My name's Shera Robinson."
"What? Haha, good joke." Angelia said. "Can I have you're autograph!?"
"Hey listen buddy," Merry-look-alike said. "I ain't Merry, and you ain't that Pippin ok? I don't even know what's going on! And I don't wanna believe anything that is happening incase this is 'Candid Camera' and I end up making a fool out of myself in public! So cut crap and tell me who you are."
"You cut the crap!" Angelia said. "You're Merry or probably Dominic Monaghan in costume who is trying to make a fool out of me. I'm not Pippin! I'm Angelia."
"Ok, shut up and stop being sad. Now you're trying to confuse ME! You're not Angelia--look!" Shera picked up a silver plate and held it up for Angelia to see.
Angelia looked into it and saw a reflection that looked like the actor Billy Boyd. "No...No...no." She said slowly as she touched her face.
"Yes, yes, yes." Shera said.
"Oh yeah? Look at yourself!" Angelia snatched the plate and pointed it at the Hobbit.
Shera looked at screamed. "What's going on!?"
They both looked at each other and said in unison, "The spell!"
Suddenly they heard an old man swearing loudly.
*~*
Tamara sat quietly smoking a pipe and stroking her beard...wait a minute...
'I'm doing what??' She thought.
She looked down and saw a large gray beard hiding her chest. "Eww! What the hell!?"
She took something off her head that was bothering her which turned out to be a tall pointy hat. "Something weird is going on..."
Tamara got up and her gray robes swayed with her. She touched her hair and was shocked to discover it had tons of tangles not to mention it was messy and unmanageable (doesn't Tam always say that it was in the first place? I actually like her hair!).
"Ooooh, really bad hair day." She muttered.
"Gandalf?" A voice said. "Are you feeling well? You sure are acting strange now."
Tamara looked down and saw Bilbo! She stared at him stupidly for what seemed to be like an hour. "Did you just call me Gandalf?"
"Yes, who else do you think you are?" Bilbo said. "Gandalf Greyham. Don't you know your name?"
Tamara looked around slowly at the people dancing around and sighed, "This is unbelievable, I must be dreaming..."
Bilbo ran up to her and pinched her.
"Ouch! Get away from me you little furry thing!"
"Gandalf? You don't seem to be acting like yourself, lately..." Bilbo said in concern.
"I'M NOT GANDALF!!" Tamara yelled. Suddenly she began jumping up and down in anger trying to rip out the beard.
Hobbits around her looked at her and began laughing. One little Hobbitling (am I even aloud to use that as a word??) tugged at her mother's dress saying, "Mommy! Mommy! Look at Gandalf! He's crrrrrrrrraaaaaaazy."
Tamara stopped what she was doing as realization struck her on the head, an I mean literally, because one Hobbit-kid threw a half-eaten apple on her head as the realization did so.
"The spell went wrong because we didn't sacrifice JO-JO under Mr. Moon- moon!" Tamara said as her mouth formed a huge 'O'. Suddenly she began kicking everything in her way angrily (yes, including Bilbo...) as she yelled in rage and stomped the ground.
"Fackin' shit! Fack! I don't wanna be here! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkk!! Fooooooook! Oh my fackin' God!!" She yelled on top of her voice...
*~*
How was it? I sure had fun writing it! ^.^
Next up, Romina and Inga. Can you guess who they are? No I'm serious, if you don't know they turn out to be, then you're definitely a dud. (Oh sorry, it's because lack of sleep that I'm like this!)
*~*
YOU HAVE TO HEAR THE SONG FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGS CD, IT'S CALLED 'REQUIREM FOR A DREAM!' IT'S THE BEST!! I'm in lurve with it... *sighs happily and runs to get the CD*
*~*
Anyways, review replies!
__*nAnCy*__: Lol, Thankies!
La bomba Latina: Now you're gonna get mad at me, lol. You weren't in this chapter at all! But I promise you'll be in the next one. And I was PRETTY sure you had a pet chicken. Hmm...He probably got chick-napped and eaten by someone... (poor JO-JO)
zainab!: Lol, thanks. And yes you WERE bitchy to me last night when camp- boy came online. *picks up flamethrower* Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fly to Toronto! *leaps in the air and flies like Superman*
shirel: Lol, wow you always get happy when I mention you're name in my stories (Which I barely do) ! Anyways thanks, and you better review for this one!
Chaveline: That was my ONLY chapter. Anyways, hope this chapter was good! ^.^
Junny-juju-bug: Yay, thankies! Yes, we're a bunch of crazy nutcases sometimes. You should see us in the hallway. We sort of scare innocent people passing by...
Butterfly: Coolies! You wanna put my story on ur site! Sure, go ahead! BUT, you must give me the link of your site when it's up! ^.^
Nevweh: Yay, thanks! Mary-Jane? Isn't that the woman from Tarzan? I thought it was Mary-Sue...
Dimostiel: Hehe, I think you were my first reviewer right? Anyways, hope you liked this chapter! Thanks!