Part Eleven
Sydney walks into the restaurant, carrying Grace in her baby carrier. She looks impeccable in a pair of gray wool slacks and a black turtleneck sweater, her hair gently curled and her face expertly made up. She's not sure why it is important for her to look perfect for her meeting with Kerri, but it is.
The hostess tells her that her party is already waiting for her, and leads her to where Kerri sits at a table near the window. Kerri, too, looks nearly perfect in a pale blue angora sweater and black pants, and Sydney smiles at the other woman.
"Sydney, hi, you look great," Kerri says, standing to greet the other woman.
"Thanks, so do you," Sydney says. Sydney place's Gracie's carrier on the table's third chair, and the two women hug awkwardly.
"God, she's beautiful, Sydney," Kerri says, gazing down at the baby. "I'm so happy for you."
Sydney knows it is hard to be happy for someone else when you are miserable yourself, buy Sydney vows that she will not bring up Eric until Kerri does. "Thanks," she responds. "She's such a good baby."
"Was Michael that blond when he was a little kid, do you know?"
"Oh, yes," Sydney says as the women settle themselves at the table. "Marguerite's shown me pictures, it's pretty amazing."
The waitress comes to take their drink orders, and Sydney and Kerri smile awkwardly at each other for a moment.
"So how was the party?" Kerri finally asks.
Good. Nice, neutral subject matter. "It was all right. There's a young associate at Michael's office, Todd, and his wife Lisa is very sweet."
"Remind you of yourself at her age?"
Sydney is taken aback by the question, but she smiles. "A little, I guess. Anyway, and I didn't really like Sheila-- she's one of the partners at Michael's office-- much at first, but we talked last night, and she seems nice enough. And Heather, she and her husband were the ones having the party, she's kind of obnoxious. She saw Michael and I kissing on the bal--" The word dies on her lips, and Kerri smiles encouragingly.
"Syd, really, you can talk about being happy with Michael, it's okay."
After their run-in the day before, Sydney isn't sure.
"Go on," Kerri encourages. "She saw you and Michael kissing on the balcony, then what happened?"
"Oh, nothing." The waitress returns with their glasses of iced tea, and Sydney stirs a packet of Sweet 'N Low into hers. "She just made a big deal out of it, told all of the other women. Then Michael and I ended up being the first to leave, I'm sure everyone was gossiping about us."
"I'm sure they didn't even think about it," Kerri says dismissively.
It is only then that they realize that the waitress is still standing there. "Are you ready to order?" she asks politely.
"Oh." Sydney flips her menu open and quickly surveys the choices. "I'm starving. Michael made me eggs, but I didn't have time to eat them. Um-- the Portobello mushroom sandwich, please. With fries."
"A garden salad," Kerri says with a sigh, eyeing Sydney jealously as the waitress disappears. "The weight from the baby just melted right off of you."
Sydney shrugs, a little embarrassed. "Grace and Emily and I go for a walk almost every day, don't we, sweetie?" she coos at the baby. "Anyway," she says, redirecting her attention to Kerri. "You have little ones, you know how it is, there's hardly time to eat. Oh, by the way, how are the boys? I really miss them." Kerri's sons were eight, five, and three; her youngest, Alex, had been born only a month after Emily, and Kerri and Sydney had often joked that the two would end up together one day. It had been fun, Sydney thinks wistfully, being pregnant at the same time as her friend. The Weisses and the Vaughns had always spent a lot of time together-- picnics, trips to the beach. It's sad to realize that that will never be the case again, and not just because she and Michael moved away.
"The boys are good," Kerri says quietly. "Eric's been good about spending time with them on the weekends, which is remarkable. He never seemed to find time for them-- or me-- when we were actually married."
It must have been time-consuming, juggling a wife and a girlfriend at the same time, Sydney thinks, then immediately regrets it.
"Do you know," Kerri continues. "That the only time we spent together as a family was the time we spent with you and Michael and your kids?"
"I'm sorry," Sydney says, not sure what else to say.
"How's Jack?" Kerri asks after a long moment of uncomfortable silence. "I didn't get to ask about him yesterday."
"He's good," Sydney says, sipping her iced tea. "I worry about him, he's so shy, but Michael says he was the same way when he was his age."
"Michael?" Kerri says with a smile. "No way. Michael's quiet, but he has too much confidence to be shy."
"That's what I thought," Sydney says, bemused. "You've known him longer than I have, Kerri. Was he the same way in college?"
"Oh, sure, Michael never changes," Kerri says, her smile widening. "You know, he never had any problems attracting girlfriends, but he was always faithful to the one he was with."
Sydney remembers what Michael said about Eric in college-- every girl's friend, no one's boyfriend, and her smile falters.
"I meant what I said, Syd," Kerri says. "About Michael not being Eric. They've always been two completely different men. Maybe that's why I lashed out at you yesterday." She smiles, a bit sadly. "Eric and I never had what you and Mike have."
Michael had said the same thing, and Sydney had believed him. Hearing Kerri say it, though, just makes her feel awful for her friend. She wishes Kerri had been so lucky. She says as much now.
"I-- I understand why you said what you did yesterday, Kerri, and you don't have to reassure me about Michael. I just wish you weren't hurting so badly."
Tears spring to Kerri's eyes. "It'll get better, Syd. I know deep down this was all for the best, that I'm better off without him. I just-- I miss him, you know?"
Sydney stands and moves around the table to hug her friend. She hates that she doesn't have more to offer her. But she thinks that right now, maybe just her being there is enough.