Chapter 2
Darth Vader had been listening attentively to his master's voice as he spoke. The voice was soft and poisonous, and it contained a great amount of hate beneath it's mocking tonalities.
The sickening sensation he had felt in his stomach when he first approached the doors of the room the emperor was in returned, although he did not know surely why. Usually his anxiety disappeared in the course of his conversations with his teacher, but now the turning in his stomach remained as a lingering feeling throughout the entire meeting, and Vader wished the Emperor would let him leave.
He looked up at his master. It seemed that the glittering orange of the emperor's eyes was too loud a contrast from the brim of the his rough brown robe, and that the contrast was constantly growing. The play of the fires in the emperor's eyes prodded into his mind and pained him, mixing with the illness he already felt, and he wanted it to end. Still he managed to summon enough strength to say in a loud clear voice "Thy desire shall be attended, my master."
"Yes, it should be so." The emperor answered, his voice lowering. He felt a sudden sensation of irritation for the fact that his student was not seeing the amusing side of this task. Vader can be too serious sometimes, he thought, looking at the huge figure clad in deep black kneeling obediently before him. Still, he is efficient. There is also something else in him, something I can not sense clearly. Almost sweet. The emperor then jerked, as if annoyed by his own thoughts.
"See that this entire mission be performed at the highest level of efficiency, Lord Vader" He commanded "I shall provide you with all the necessary data as soon as you reach aboard the Obliterator. I will also expect full reports from you. Now, are there any questions regarding this simple task?"
"No, my master, I understand fully, and obey" Vader answered. He preferred this tone of voice. It was commanding, and impersonal, and he was used to it.
"Good. Then, my friend, you may take your leave. I expect full success from this." Vader got up, and bowed before the emperor, and than strode out of the room in the same sure step he had used coming in. He was grateful the meeting was over. He walked a little bit longer in this rapid, strong fashion, while the massive doors shut behind him with a slam. Then he slowed down a little, suddenly feeling woozy. He tried not to think of what the emperor had told him in the private audience.
The emperor sat in his chair for a long time after Vader had left staring at the closed door. He hated the fact that he let himself feel that way again. He thought he had overcome that weakness. He remembered how he felt about Vader a long time ago. The dark lord was only a boy when they first spoke about the force. Now he remembered the golden haired, blue-eyed, playful, curious, intelligent child Vader had been, and how he desired that that was his son.
He had sensed that the child could love him, perhaps more than anyone else, and he had desired that love. But small Anakin chose to turn to Qui-Gon first for that, and later on to the traitor, Obi-Wan. The emperor had waited too long, and by the time he decided to become a father to the boy, it was too late. The memory of his weakness toward Vader, as he now considered it came back to haunt him every once in a while.
Palpatine made sure that Vader never sensed those feelings in him. Softness of emotion was an inexcusable flaw for a dark Master. Nevertheless, Palpatine sometimes felt a sadness that things had not turned out some other way. He felt himself grow older, and more and more lonely in his awesome power. And no matter what great gifts that power allowed him, the feeling that he was by himself, always in the danger of loosing what he had and for what he had given everything, the insecurity for his position, one which many coveted, and for his own person, each day physically weaker, if stronger with the force of the dark side, made him feel lonely.
He desired sometimes that he had a friend, a pupil he could fully trust, someone that would take care of things if his plan to remain for ever on the throne went wrong, someone to trust and be able to speak to. He desired that Vader could have been that, but he also sensed Vader's insecurity and mistrust. Weakness, the emperor thought. That is what it is. And his jealousy that Vader never reattributed this feelings, that although he had thought him everything, and had helped him grow beyond his wildest dreams, and had placed him higher than ever he could have imagined, he only felt loyalty, respect and fear; but for the weak Jedi that trained him in his younger days he felt a deeper affection that had not fully disappeared even with the dark side, and that of Qui-Gon he still privately thought of as of his father, made the emperor rage.
He did not understand it, but sometimes he desired similar feelings for himself, and than hated himself for it, and hated Vader for not showing them.
Darth Vader had been listening attentively to his master's voice as he spoke. The voice was soft and poisonous, and it contained a great amount of hate beneath it's mocking tonalities.
The sickening sensation he had felt in his stomach when he first approached the doors of the room the emperor was in returned, although he did not know surely why. Usually his anxiety disappeared in the course of his conversations with his teacher, but now the turning in his stomach remained as a lingering feeling throughout the entire meeting, and Vader wished the Emperor would let him leave.
He looked up at his master. It seemed that the glittering orange of the emperor's eyes was too loud a contrast from the brim of the his rough brown robe, and that the contrast was constantly growing. The play of the fires in the emperor's eyes prodded into his mind and pained him, mixing with the illness he already felt, and he wanted it to end. Still he managed to summon enough strength to say in a loud clear voice "Thy desire shall be attended, my master."
"Yes, it should be so." The emperor answered, his voice lowering. He felt a sudden sensation of irritation for the fact that his student was not seeing the amusing side of this task. Vader can be too serious sometimes, he thought, looking at the huge figure clad in deep black kneeling obediently before him. Still, he is efficient. There is also something else in him, something I can not sense clearly. Almost sweet. The emperor then jerked, as if annoyed by his own thoughts.
"See that this entire mission be performed at the highest level of efficiency, Lord Vader" He commanded "I shall provide you with all the necessary data as soon as you reach aboard the Obliterator. I will also expect full reports from you. Now, are there any questions regarding this simple task?"
"No, my master, I understand fully, and obey" Vader answered. He preferred this tone of voice. It was commanding, and impersonal, and he was used to it.
"Good. Then, my friend, you may take your leave. I expect full success from this." Vader got up, and bowed before the emperor, and than strode out of the room in the same sure step he had used coming in. He was grateful the meeting was over. He walked a little bit longer in this rapid, strong fashion, while the massive doors shut behind him with a slam. Then he slowed down a little, suddenly feeling woozy. He tried not to think of what the emperor had told him in the private audience.
The emperor sat in his chair for a long time after Vader had left staring at the closed door. He hated the fact that he let himself feel that way again. He thought he had overcome that weakness. He remembered how he felt about Vader a long time ago. The dark lord was only a boy when they first spoke about the force. Now he remembered the golden haired, blue-eyed, playful, curious, intelligent child Vader had been, and how he desired that that was his son.
He had sensed that the child could love him, perhaps more than anyone else, and he had desired that love. But small Anakin chose to turn to Qui-Gon first for that, and later on to the traitor, Obi-Wan. The emperor had waited too long, and by the time he decided to become a father to the boy, it was too late. The memory of his weakness toward Vader, as he now considered it came back to haunt him every once in a while.
Palpatine made sure that Vader never sensed those feelings in him. Softness of emotion was an inexcusable flaw for a dark Master. Nevertheless, Palpatine sometimes felt a sadness that things had not turned out some other way. He felt himself grow older, and more and more lonely in his awesome power. And no matter what great gifts that power allowed him, the feeling that he was by himself, always in the danger of loosing what he had and for what he had given everything, the insecurity for his position, one which many coveted, and for his own person, each day physically weaker, if stronger with the force of the dark side, made him feel lonely.
He desired sometimes that he had a friend, a pupil he could fully trust, someone that would take care of things if his plan to remain for ever on the throne went wrong, someone to trust and be able to speak to. He desired that Vader could have been that, but he also sensed Vader's insecurity and mistrust. Weakness, the emperor thought. That is what it is. And his jealousy that Vader never reattributed this feelings, that although he had thought him everything, and had helped him grow beyond his wildest dreams, and had placed him higher than ever he could have imagined, he only felt loyalty, respect and fear; but for the weak Jedi that trained him in his younger days he felt a deeper affection that had not fully disappeared even with the dark side, and that of Qui-Gon he still privately thought of as of his father, made the emperor rage.
He did not understand it, but sometimes he desired similar feelings for himself, and than hated himself for it, and hated Vader for not showing them.