Recap: Moony welcomed Padfoot home. Dumbledore sent instructions and
Sirius found out that his father is still alive.
VII. Emotion and Instinct
Remus woke with the tactile knowledge that something was different. Turning slightly, he smiled. Sirius curled against him, deeply asleep. For once, Remus had awoken before his lover. He lay still, examining the face pillowed next to him. Still somewhat angular, but Remus was sure that there was a new softness under the skin. His bones didn't stand out quite as sharply as they had when Sirius had arrived. The dark smudges under his eyes had faded. Although he was nowhere near peak condition, his lover looked decidedly healthier.
And he was still so beautiful to Remus' eyes. The way his long, dark lashes fanned gently against the olive skin. The cursive elegance of his eyebrows. The perfect nose, still straight despite several losing collisions with errant Bludgers over the years. The inviting, luscious lips, once more smooth and soft. And eminently kissable.
Perhaps the solid night's rest had helped. Sirius had plummeted into sleep like a boulder falling off a cliff. Of course, yesterday he had burned a lot of emotional energy, starting with the shocking realization that his father was still alive. Sirius had spent several hours at Remus' desk writing an impossibly long letter to his Dad. Remus had only interrupted once, to quietly call Sirius to dinner. Sirius had entered the kitchen, his eyes puffy and reddened from his tears. Remus had felt a rush of guilt, as he hadn't even sensed Sirius' distress, let alone heard him crying. He shouldn't have had to sit alone with his hurt. But, maybe Sirius had wanted to fight that particular battle by himself. Although he was somewhat subdued during dinner, Sirius had also exuded a sense of relief, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders.
They'd both been too long alone, Remus mused. With a touch as light as the caress of a snowflake, Remus ran his hand slowly along the outline of Sirius' body. Starting at the mussed tangle of wavy black locks, his fingertips delicately sampled the myriad textures of the relaxed body next to him. Gossamer hair, sandpaper cheek, a shoulder smooth as warm marble. His inquisitive fingers trickled through the notch at the bottom of Sirius' throat and slyly circled a soft nipple, feeling it quiver and arouse to his touch. Sirius shifted closer in his sleep.
Remus' fingernails skated along an enticing pelvic curve and coasted to a stop when they arrived at another tangle of black hair. And rising from that dark grotto was ample evidence of burgeoning arousal. A lascivious fire burst into the hazel eyes. This tempting offering should not be wasted, Remus decided, as his skilled fingers flowed like a sigh across Sirius' beautiful manhood.
Again, Sirius stirred. Remus watched his face avidly as one tickling digit traced patterns along the heated, pulsing skin. A growly breath huffed from the sleeping man's lips. His hips arched slightly. Smiling, Remus turned to replace his fingers with his mouth. With a sudden start, Sirius woke, his lips forming a perfect "Ohhhh." that slid into a deep, slack-mouthed moan. 'I love that sound,' Remus thought.
Sirius felt a bubbling, frothing heat swell up from his groin, from deep in his belly, flood through his body in a pure hot torrent of need and want. His hands clutched at Remus' head, seizing fistfuls of hair. "Hold still," he gasped, thrusting his hips up towards that heavenly, grasping mouth.
"Mmmmm," Remus' response vibrated through him and slipped seamlessly into Sirius' bloodstream. The echo of feeling flashed from the depths of his groin to enflame every nerve in his body. Long-lost sensations swam to the surface of his skin, his mind, like buried treasure washed clean of centuries of dirt.
Sirius ached and trembled. Desire battled fiercely with fear and conquered it. This bed, bathed in the warm morning light, was a bower, a sanctuary from the memories of cold, dank, stone. This man feasting on him was no shadowy tormentor, but Remus. His gorgeous Remus, christened gold and bronze by the sun. His teasing Remus, with a merry, dancing tongue that savored and aroused, leading him like a Pied Piper towards a playground of passion.
Sirius tried to put words to his jumbled thoughts, but the verbal part of his brain couldn't compete with the liquid flame engulfing his body. Sounds poured from his lips, inchoate and formless. Guttural moans and whimpering sighs spoke eloquently of his pleasure.
Remus gloried at these earthy noises, at the taut thighs under his hands and the fingers clutching and caressing his hair. This was so good. But what he wanted, more than anything, was to his mate making love to him. Drawing his mouth away, Remus mumbled his need. "Want you, Siri," he groaned. "Want you so bad.." He looked up at Sirius' face, his expression tight with longing.
Sirius rose up, his hands reaching to Remus, stroking his skin, guiding him down onto the sheets. Remus pulled him down, sealing their mouths together with deep, succulent kisses. Remus writhed with eager anticipation. "Come on.please."
Sirius let himself go, following the pleading urgency of that voice, until finally he lost himself in the pleasure of Remus' body.. Pushing against each other, with each other, into each other, they rocked together, sweeping up that long, final wave until they crashed in a tangled heap, their heated groans gradually subsided into contented hums.
Remus tilted his head to look closely at Sirius and smiled at the somewhat bemused expression lighting the thin face. "What? Are you surprised we got it right?"
"Well, no, not 'us.' Me." Sirius replied. A faint blush colored his cheeks, much to Remus' glee.
"Why, Sirius Black, I do believe you're embarrassed!"
Sirius tried to look away, but Remus wouldn't let him. Placing a firm palm against Sirius' cheek, he turned this unexpectedly shy face towards him. "I'm only teasing you, love. You know you've always filled me up, satisfied all my longings and cravings, led me to a feast, a sumptuous banquet of savory physical delights, indulged my deepest -"
"Oh, alright, Moony! I get the picture!"
Chuckling, Remus kissed him fondly, and then rolled them over so he could pillow his head on Sirius' shoulder. His fingers curled lazily through thick locks of jet-black hair. He felt he could lie this way forever, soaking in the feeling of togetherness. He was no longer alone. The mere thought made the sun shine brighter.
"Remus?" The plaintive tone in his voice sounded a warning. "I'm planning on leaving tonight."
"Tonight?" Remus replied weakly. "So soon?" He felt his contentment slip away.
"The sooner I deliver my message, the sooner I'll be back. That is.I mean.if you want me with you."
Remus sat up with a snort of exasperation. "How can I make you understand that I want you here? By my side. Every hour of every day. For the rest of our lives." He took a deep breath. "We lost each other months before James and Lily died. Somehow we fell prey to the darkest, most vile suspicions of each other. And, looking back at it, I can't pinpoint when it began or what started me down that desolate road." He sighed, realizing that their conversations always circled back to those dark days. "I never should have doubted you. All I can say now is that I'm sorry, knowing how inadequate that sounds. It doesn't begin to make up for what you've suffered." Remus scrutinized the impassive face before him. Maybe it was best not to say anymore, but, impulsively, he continued. "I beg for your forgiveness because without you, I wander through a barren, sere, desert where I'm barely half alive. "
He stopped abruptly, worried that he'd just dumped too much raw emotion between them. Evoking their painful past complete with the hovering shades of James and Lily was perhaps more than Sirius could deal with. But, if he meant what he said about departing that evening, then Remus determined to seize the moment. His hand again cupped Sirius' cheek in a gentle caress. "My heart, my love, my life are yours to do with as you please. To take up and join with your own, once again, or to leave behind. I have no other words to give you except to say that I love you. I love you."
Sirius' expression was unreadable. Remus felt a sickening sense of vertigo, as if all the emotions of their brief time together swirled around them, buffeting them with gales of uncertainty. He closed his eyes, just for a second, just to get his bearings, just to avoid staring into Sirius' eyes, impenetrable as fog. He opened them quickly, surprised, as he felt Sirius' arms pull him down into a tight embrace. He waited for Sirius to repeat those three small words into his ear, that short, simple sentence that he had longed to hear for so long.
"Remus.Re, it's all my fault. I've wounded you so badly. I've hurt so many people and I.I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"I know. It's okay, Siri-"
"It's not okay! I.I set everything in motion.when we switched Secret Keepers.It was my idea.and I brought death and destruction to everyone..everyone I cared about.still care about..."
Remus wriggled free from Sirius' grip. "No! No, I'm not going to let you do this to yourself." They both sat up, and Remus feared Sirius was about to transform into Padfoot and spring off the bed and out the door. He grabbed his lover's arms. "Listen to me. You made a decision based on the information you had. You did it because you believed it was the best way to protect Lily and James and Harry."
Sirius looked like this was the last thing he wanted to hear. Instinctively, Remus continued. "And you did it with your eyes wide open, knowing full well that Voldemort would pursue you. You set yourself up as a decoy knowing the Death Eaters would eventually hunt you down. And when they captured you, they would invent brand-new tortures to force you to tell them everything. At the very least, if they had broken you, it would have bought us valuable time. And, at most, you would have died leaving them to think the secret died with you. Sirius, there is no more noble or courageous act possible than to sacrifice oneself, as you were prepared to do."
He was right. Sirius clearly did not want to hear excuses for himself. Remus pushed on, regardless. "Your information was wrong. That's not your fault. No one knew about Peter. No one. Not Dumbledore, with all his spies. Not James and Lily. Not me. No one. You did the best you could under the circumstances. That's all anyone has a right to ask. You already have my forgiveness. Now you've got to forgive yourself."
Slowly, he eased his grip on the thin arms. Sirius sat still, head bowed. Finally, he spoke. "It's not easy, Remus."
"I'm sure it's not, love. But, you understand what I'm saying, don't you? Even if you can't quite take that step?"
Sirius had forgotten what it felt like to have someone fight for him. He glanced up and the expression of fierce, loving compassion on Remus' face almost undid him. He nodded, not trusting his voice. Remus hugged him and they clung silently to one another for a long time.
Eventually Remus' practical nature reasserted itself. He suggested they make breakfast, plan Sirius' route, and fill up a pack with some extra clothes and non-perishable food to supplement Padfoot's scrounging. "And then, since you're planning on traveling tonight, we should come back to bed."
"To nap the day away?" Sirius asked dryly, one brow cocked.
Remus attempted to look innocent, and failed miserably. "Well, I suppose we *could* sleep, but I had other ideas."
"No kidding. And here I thought that the lascivious way you were licking your lips was a sign of how drowsy you are."
"Stop being snide, and help me make breakfast."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The sun slipped below the horizon and dusk started its slow advance out from the shadows of the trees. Sirius stood by the back door adjusting the straps of the backpack so that it would fit comfortably across Padfoot's shoulders. The phoenix feather pendant hung heavy around his neck. Sirius would head due west. They had estimated that it would take four days to get to Maggie Desmond, the nearest ex-member of the Order. If all went according to plan, they hoped that Maggie would then accompany Sirius by Floo to Mundungus Fletcher's house. Maggie could pop out of the fireplace first, making sure it was safe for Sirius, and then he could join her. If, as Dumbledore believed, the old allies could be counted on to give Sirius a fair hearing and to be willing to trust each other again, Sirius would be able to enlist each one to help him in quicker forms of travel. With any luck, he would be back at Remus' house within the week. Remus would send word if his stay at Hogwarts would last longer than that.
Sirius finally stopped fiddling with the pack's straps. He looked at Remus, but quickly averted his gaze. "Remus, I.I.I should be on my way."
It wasn't what he wanted to say, and they both knew it. Sirius turned away and stepped outside. Remus followed him, listening to the music of the night insects. He sent a silent prayer to whatever deities might be paying attention to keep his mate safe.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me, Moony." Sirius' voice was low and steady, but there was an emotional vibration resonating just under the surface.
"You're welcome. Please be careful and come home as soon as you can."
"Home." Sirius' sudden smile was brilliant in the fading light. He leaned forward and kissed Remus, a soft, lingering kiss full of promise. "I'll come back to you."
He walked towards the trees and suddenly turned his head, tossing a simple sentence back over his shoulder. "I love you, Remus."
In the next instant, Padfoot was on his way, loping easily into the darkness. Remus stared at the shadowy trees for a long time.
~*~*~*~*
Padfoot made good time that first night, and well into the next morning, pushing himself hard, but not hard enough to cause himself harm. He found an abandoned barn to sleep through the late morning and early afternoon. As he started on his way again, he felt an inexplicable, but insistent tug to change his course. A deep instinctual sense called to him, urging him to turn north. He resisted it, obeying the dictates of the human part of his brain. But, still that feeling nagged at him.
The pull strengthened through the course of the second night. It was deep and primal and almost as stirring as the howl of the wolf. Padfoot was confused. He wanted to turn around to go find Moony, but the human voice insisted that he go forward. He usually listened to the human. Yet, now there was a third voice calling him. Its song was insistent, powerful, enticing, and soon it drowned out the man. Padfoot felt something shift and, for the first time, he broke free from his human. Canine was in control. Dawn painted the sky, and Padfoot listened and turned his steps northward.
He was too restless to sleep during the day. He kept traveling. He'd waited for so long, without knowing it. But, now, he could sense he was nearing his destination. His territory.
The dog finally crested a tall hill. His fey, pale eyes focused sharply on the comfortable-looking stone house sitting perhaps a quarter of a mile below. The fading sun was still high enough in the sky to bathe the back of the house, turning its dull sandstone into tawny warmth. Padfoot whimpered, and crept a little way down the slope through a thick copse of trees.
The pull of the house, its sights and scents, awoke too many complex memories for Padfoot's canine brain to process. He transformed. Sirius stood motionless, staring down through the branches at his boyhood home. The gardens were still beautiful, bursting with a profusion of blossoms and sweet-smelling herbs. His father, a barely adequate Herbology student, must have devoted himself to preserving the plants his wife had loved so dearly. Suddenly the back door opened, and a tall, black-haired man stepped out. He walked towards the herb garden. Sirius strode several more steps to the very edge of the trees' cover. Padfoot's whimper was back, wrung from his human lungs and squeezing past the lump in his throat.
Pop! Pop! Pop! Suddenly, a crowd of Aurors appeared, Apparating in a cordon around the house. Several approached Altair Black. Others started walking slowly up the hill, their gazes and wands sweeping back and forth as if looking for something. No one saw the black dog huddling under cover.
The dog watched as Altair stood unbowed and not at all intimidated by the abrupt invasion of his property. Three Aurors approached him, and after a short conversation, all four went into the house. The ones standing outside continued to cast searching spells into trees and hedges and undergrowth, looking for traces of a human intruder. They ignored the stray dog lying quiet but tense in his leafy hiding place.
A little while later, the door opened. The four people came out of the house again. After another brief conversation, the crowd of Aurors Disapperated. Altair Black walked slowly to a wooden bench in the middle of the garden. He slumped down on it, shoulders hunched. Padfoot whined again and inched forward.
Slowly the sun dipped towards the horizon. Sirius' father rose, glancing up to the thicket of trees. Then he turned and disappeared into the house. Padfoot lay still, waiting, but when the man did not reappear, he lurched to his feet and plodded slowly back up to the hilltop. He stared back at the house, and with a final whimper, turned and vanished over the hill, resuming his journey into the setting sun.
TBC
VII. Emotion and Instinct
Remus woke with the tactile knowledge that something was different. Turning slightly, he smiled. Sirius curled against him, deeply asleep. For once, Remus had awoken before his lover. He lay still, examining the face pillowed next to him. Still somewhat angular, but Remus was sure that there was a new softness under the skin. His bones didn't stand out quite as sharply as they had when Sirius had arrived. The dark smudges under his eyes had faded. Although he was nowhere near peak condition, his lover looked decidedly healthier.
And he was still so beautiful to Remus' eyes. The way his long, dark lashes fanned gently against the olive skin. The cursive elegance of his eyebrows. The perfect nose, still straight despite several losing collisions with errant Bludgers over the years. The inviting, luscious lips, once more smooth and soft. And eminently kissable.
Perhaps the solid night's rest had helped. Sirius had plummeted into sleep like a boulder falling off a cliff. Of course, yesterday he had burned a lot of emotional energy, starting with the shocking realization that his father was still alive. Sirius had spent several hours at Remus' desk writing an impossibly long letter to his Dad. Remus had only interrupted once, to quietly call Sirius to dinner. Sirius had entered the kitchen, his eyes puffy and reddened from his tears. Remus had felt a rush of guilt, as he hadn't even sensed Sirius' distress, let alone heard him crying. He shouldn't have had to sit alone with his hurt. But, maybe Sirius had wanted to fight that particular battle by himself. Although he was somewhat subdued during dinner, Sirius had also exuded a sense of relief, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders.
They'd both been too long alone, Remus mused. With a touch as light as the caress of a snowflake, Remus ran his hand slowly along the outline of Sirius' body. Starting at the mussed tangle of wavy black locks, his fingertips delicately sampled the myriad textures of the relaxed body next to him. Gossamer hair, sandpaper cheek, a shoulder smooth as warm marble. His inquisitive fingers trickled through the notch at the bottom of Sirius' throat and slyly circled a soft nipple, feeling it quiver and arouse to his touch. Sirius shifted closer in his sleep.
Remus' fingernails skated along an enticing pelvic curve and coasted to a stop when they arrived at another tangle of black hair. And rising from that dark grotto was ample evidence of burgeoning arousal. A lascivious fire burst into the hazel eyes. This tempting offering should not be wasted, Remus decided, as his skilled fingers flowed like a sigh across Sirius' beautiful manhood.
Again, Sirius stirred. Remus watched his face avidly as one tickling digit traced patterns along the heated, pulsing skin. A growly breath huffed from the sleeping man's lips. His hips arched slightly. Smiling, Remus turned to replace his fingers with his mouth. With a sudden start, Sirius woke, his lips forming a perfect "Ohhhh." that slid into a deep, slack-mouthed moan. 'I love that sound,' Remus thought.
Sirius felt a bubbling, frothing heat swell up from his groin, from deep in his belly, flood through his body in a pure hot torrent of need and want. His hands clutched at Remus' head, seizing fistfuls of hair. "Hold still," he gasped, thrusting his hips up towards that heavenly, grasping mouth.
"Mmmmm," Remus' response vibrated through him and slipped seamlessly into Sirius' bloodstream. The echo of feeling flashed from the depths of his groin to enflame every nerve in his body. Long-lost sensations swam to the surface of his skin, his mind, like buried treasure washed clean of centuries of dirt.
Sirius ached and trembled. Desire battled fiercely with fear and conquered it. This bed, bathed in the warm morning light, was a bower, a sanctuary from the memories of cold, dank, stone. This man feasting on him was no shadowy tormentor, but Remus. His gorgeous Remus, christened gold and bronze by the sun. His teasing Remus, with a merry, dancing tongue that savored and aroused, leading him like a Pied Piper towards a playground of passion.
Sirius tried to put words to his jumbled thoughts, but the verbal part of his brain couldn't compete with the liquid flame engulfing his body. Sounds poured from his lips, inchoate and formless. Guttural moans and whimpering sighs spoke eloquently of his pleasure.
Remus gloried at these earthy noises, at the taut thighs under his hands and the fingers clutching and caressing his hair. This was so good. But what he wanted, more than anything, was to his mate making love to him. Drawing his mouth away, Remus mumbled his need. "Want you, Siri," he groaned. "Want you so bad.." He looked up at Sirius' face, his expression tight with longing.
Sirius rose up, his hands reaching to Remus, stroking his skin, guiding him down onto the sheets. Remus pulled him down, sealing their mouths together with deep, succulent kisses. Remus writhed with eager anticipation. "Come on.please."
Sirius let himself go, following the pleading urgency of that voice, until finally he lost himself in the pleasure of Remus' body.. Pushing against each other, with each other, into each other, they rocked together, sweeping up that long, final wave until they crashed in a tangled heap, their heated groans gradually subsided into contented hums.
Remus tilted his head to look closely at Sirius and smiled at the somewhat bemused expression lighting the thin face. "What? Are you surprised we got it right?"
"Well, no, not 'us.' Me." Sirius replied. A faint blush colored his cheeks, much to Remus' glee.
"Why, Sirius Black, I do believe you're embarrassed!"
Sirius tried to look away, but Remus wouldn't let him. Placing a firm palm against Sirius' cheek, he turned this unexpectedly shy face towards him. "I'm only teasing you, love. You know you've always filled me up, satisfied all my longings and cravings, led me to a feast, a sumptuous banquet of savory physical delights, indulged my deepest -"
"Oh, alright, Moony! I get the picture!"
Chuckling, Remus kissed him fondly, and then rolled them over so he could pillow his head on Sirius' shoulder. His fingers curled lazily through thick locks of jet-black hair. He felt he could lie this way forever, soaking in the feeling of togetherness. He was no longer alone. The mere thought made the sun shine brighter.
"Remus?" The plaintive tone in his voice sounded a warning. "I'm planning on leaving tonight."
"Tonight?" Remus replied weakly. "So soon?" He felt his contentment slip away.
"The sooner I deliver my message, the sooner I'll be back. That is.I mean.if you want me with you."
Remus sat up with a snort of exasperation. "How can I make you understand that I want you here? By my side. Every hour of every day. For the rest of our lives." He took a deep breath. "We lost each other months before James and Lily died. Somehow we fell prey to the darkest, most vile suspicions of each other. And, looking back at it, I can't pinpoint when it began or what started me down that desolate road." He sighed, realizing that their conversations always circled back to those dark days. "I never should have doubted you. All I can say now is that I'm sorry, knowing how inadequate that sounds. It doesn't begin to make up for what you've suffered." Remus scrutinized the impassive face before him. Maybe it was best not to say anymore, but, impulsively, he continued. "I beg for your forgiveness because without you, I wander through a barren, sere, desert where I'm barely half alive. "
He stopped abruptly, worried that he'd just dumped too much raw emotion between them. Evoking their painful past complete with the hovering shades of James and Lily was perhaps more than Sirius could deal with. But, if he meant what he said about departing that evening, then Remus determined to seize the moment. His hand again cupped Sirius' cheek in a gentle caress. "My heart, my love, my life are yours to do with as you please. To take up and join with your own, once again, or to leave behind. I have no other words to give you except to say that I love you. I love you."
Sirius' expression was unreadable. Remus felt a sickening sense of vertigo, as if all the emotions of their brief time together swirled around them, buffeting them with gales of uncertainty. He closed his eyes, just for a second, just to get his bearings, just to avoid staring into Sirius' eyes, impenetrable as fog. He opened them quickly, surprised, as he felt Sirius' arms pull him down into a tight embrace. He waited for Sirius to repeat those three small words into his ear, that short, simple sentence that he had longed to hear for so long.
"Remus.Re, it's all my fault. I've wounded you so badly. I've hurt so many people and I.I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"I know. It's okay, Siri-"
"It's not okay! I.I set everything in motion.when we switched Secret Keepers.It was my idea.and I brought death and destruction to everyone..everyone I cared about.still care about..."
Remus wriggled free from Sirius' grip. "No! No, I'm not going to let you do this to yourself." They both sat up, and Remus feared Sirius was about to transform into Padfoot and spring off the bed and out the door. He grabbed his lover's arms. "Listen to me. You made a decision based on the information you had. You did it because you believed it was the best way to protect Lily and James and Harry."
Sirius looked like this was the last thing he wanted to hear. Instinctively, Remus continued. "And you did it with your eyes wide open, knowing full well that Voldemort would pursue you. You set yourself up as a decoy knowing the Death Eaters would eventually hunt you down. And when they captured you, they would invent brand-new tortures to force you to tell them everything. At the very least, if they had broken you, it would have bought us valuable time. And, at most, you would have died leaving them to think the secret died with you. Sirius, there is no more noble or courageous act possible than to sacrifice oneself, as you were prepared to do."
He was right. Sirius clearly did not want to hear excuses for himself. Remus pushed on, regardless. "Your information was wrong. That's not your fault. No one knew about Peter. No one. Not Dumbledore, with all his spies. Not James and Lily. Not me. No one. You did the best you could under the circumstances. That's all anyone has a right to ask. You already have my forgiveness. Now you've got to forgive yourself."
Slowly, he eased his grip on the thin arms. Sirius sat still, head bowed. Finally, he spoke. "It's not easy, Remus."
"I'm sure it's not, love. But, you understand what I'm saying, don't you? Even if you can't quite take that step?"
Sirius had forgotten what it felt like to have someone fight for him. He glanced up and the expression of fierce, loving compassion on Remus' face almost undid him. He nodded, not trusting his voice. Remus hugged him and they clung silently to one another for a long time.
Eventually Remus' practical nature reasserted itself. He suggested they make breakfast, plan Sirius' route, and fill up a pack with some extra clothes and non-perishable food to supplement Padfoot's scrounging. "And then, since you're planning on traveling tonight, we should come back to bed."
"To nap the day away?" Sirius asked dryly, one brow cocked.
Remus attempted to look innocent, and failed miserably. "Well, I suppose we *could* sleep, but I had other ideas."
"No kidding. And here I thought that the lascivious way you were licking your lips was a sign of how drowsy you are."
"Stop being snide, and help me make breakfast."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The sun slipped below the horizon and dusk started its slow advance out from the shadows of the trees. Sirius stood by the back door adjusting the straps of the backpack so that it would fit comfortably across Padfoot's shoulders. The phoenix feather pendant hung heavy around his neck. Sirius would head due west. They had estimated that it would take four days to get to Maggie Desmond, the nearest ex-member of the Order. If all went according to plan, they hoped that Maggie would then accompany Sirius by Floo to Mundungus Fletcher's house. Maggie could pop out of the fireplace first, making sure it was safe for Sirius, and then he could join her. If, as Dumbledore believed, the old allies could be counted on to give Sirius a fair hearing and to be willing to trust each other again, Sirius would be able to enlist each one to help him in quicker forms of travel. With any luck, he would be back at Remus' house within the week. Remus would send word if his stay at Hogwarts would last longer than that.
Sirius finally stopped fiddling with the pack's straps. He looked at Remus, but quickly averted his gaze. "Remus, I.I.I should be on my way."
It wasn't what he wanted to say, and they both knew it. Sirius turned away and stepped outside. Remus followed him, listening to the music of the night insects. He sent a silent prayer to whatever deities might be paying attention to keep his mate safe.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me, Moony." Sirius' voice was low and steady, but there was an emotional vibration resonating just under the surface.
"You're welcome. Please be careful and come home as soon as you can."
"Home." Sirius' sudden smile was brilliant in the fading light. He leaned forward and kissed Remus, a soft, lingering kiss full of promise. "I'll come back to you."
He walked towards the trees and suddenly turned his head, tossing a simple sentence back over his shoulder. "I love you, Remus."
In the next instant, Padfoot was on his way, loping easily into the darkness. Remus stared at the shadowy trees for a long time.
~*~*~*~*
Padfoot made good time that first night, and well into the next morning, pushing himself hard, but not hard enough to cause himself harm. He found an abandoned barn to sleep through the late morning and early afternoon. As he started on his way again, he felt an inexplicable, but insistent tug to change his course. A deep instinctual sense called to him, urging him to turn north. He resisted it, obeying the dictates of the human part of his brain. But, still that feeling nagged at him.
The pull strengthened through the course of the second night. It was deep and primal and almost as stirring as the howl of the wolf. Padfoot was confused. He wanted to turn around to go find Moony, but the human voice insisted that he go forward. He usually listened to the human. Yet, now there was a third voice calling him. Its song was insistent, powerful, enticing, and soon it drowned out the man. Padfoot felt something shift and, for the first time, he broke free from his human. Canine was in control. Dawn painted the sky, and Padfoot listened and turned his steps northward.
He was too restless to sleep during the day. He kept traveling. He'd waited for so long, without knowing it. But, now, he could sense he was nearing his destination. His territory.
The dog finally crested a tall hill. His fey, pale eyes focused sharply on the comfortable-looking stone house sitting perhaps a quarter of a mile below. The fading sun was still high enough in the sky to bathe the back of the house, turning its dull sandstone into tawny warmth. Padfoot whimpered, and crept a little way down the slope through a thick copse of trees.
The pull of the house, its sights and scents, awoke too many complex memories for Padfoot's canine brain to process. He transformed. Sirius stood motionless, staring down through the branches at his boyhood home. The gardens were still beautiful, bursting with a profusion of blossoms and sweet-smelling herbs. His father, a barely adequate Herbology student, must have devoted himself to preserving the plants his wife had loved so dearly. Suddenly the back door opened, and a tall, black-haired man stepped out. He walked towards the herb garden. Sirius strode several more steps to the very edge of the trees' cover. Padfoot's whimper was back, wrung from his human lungs and squeezing past the lump in his throat.
Pop! Pop! Pop! Suddenly, a crowd of Aurors appeared, Apparating in a cordon around the house. Several approached Altair Black. Others started walking slowly up the hill, their gazes and wands sweeping back and forth as if looking for something. No one saw the black dog huddling under cover.
The dog watched as Altair stood unbowed and not at all intimidated by the abrupt invasion of his property. Three Aurors approached him, and after a short conversation, all four went into the house. The ones standing outside continued to cast searching spells into trees and hedges and undergrowth, looking for traces of a human intruder. They ignored the stray dog lying quiet but tense in his leafy hiding place.
A little while later, the door opened. The four people came out of the house again. After another brief conversation, the crowd of Aurors Disapperated. Altair Black walked slowly to a wooden bench in the middle of the garden. He slumped down on it, shoulders hunched. Padfoot whined again and inched forward.
Slowly the sun dipped towards the horizon. Sirius' father rose, glancing up to the thicket of trees. Then he turned and disappeared into the house. Padfoot lay still, waiting, but when the man did not reappear, he lurched to his feet and plodded slowly back up to the hilltop. He stared back at the house, and with a final whimper, turned and vanished over the hill, resuming his journey into the setting sun.
TBC