Chapter 3
Rating: PG-13
Not mine! They just use my head for a playground sometimes!
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The next day, in Boston. . .
Garret. . .
I don't understand this. Where the hell could she have gone? Max said he was going to check a few things out and then come over here and look around her desk. He's trying to keep a good front up, but I know he's worried as hell about this. Jordan's the only family he's got left.
Come on Garret. Think. What do you know about her? She's stubborn. She cares way too much about the bodies she works with ~ not that that's always a bad thing. She's probably the best damn M.E. I've seen in my life, and she didn't even want to do it at first. She. . .
"May I come in?"
"Oh, hi Max. Yeah. Come on in. Anything new?"
"Not a trace of her. I went over her apartment with a fine-toothed comb. That's the problem with her being the child of a detective. She knows way too much about how to hide things."
"You're not thinking. . ."
"Anything beyond her deciding to take off for a while? I'm trying not to let myself think that way. And anyway, her place was too clean. I don't care how good someone is at foul play, there are always signs. But this ~ if she wrote anything down, she took the paper off the tablet and used the table or something hard that doesn't hold an imprint to write on."
"Now that's something I would have never thought of. Have you. . .?"
"I've not brought anyone else in on it. I really believe that she's just taken off on her own. It kills me, but I don't want to. . .to go through everything again like. . .well, like we have before."
"I understand. Do you want to give her desk a check anyway?"
"Yeah. Maybe there's something there that will tell me something."
"Ok. It's right in here."
"Thanks Garret."
"Not a problem."
"Dr. Macy?" I heard the receptionist's voice as we walked towards the office Jordan shared with Grace Yakura.
"Yes?"
"The mail just came. I thought you'd want to see this immediately."
"What is. . .?" Jordan's handwriting.
"Garret? Is something wrong?"
"It's from Jordan."
"What does it. . .?"
"Let me open it. Want to go back in my office?"
"Yeah."
Alright. Let's see what we've got here. Jordan Cavanaugh, this had better not be what I think it is. . .
Hey Garret!
Now before you freak out on me, I'm not resigning. Promise! I know you'd hunt me down if I did that. Especially after the chance you took hiring me on and everything. Ok? Good, that's settled.
So you're probably wondering where I am. Garret, I needed to get away for a couple of weeks and clear my head. I don't know. . . Jumping right into work at the morgue right after. . .right after the whole sleeping pills and alcohol combo thing I pulled and being kicked out of and then choosing to leave the residency program and all that probably wasn't the best thing for me. It's just. . .there's some stuff going on that I can't tell you about right now. Maybe sometimes, but not right now. I just need a break for a couple of weeks. I promise I'm coming back. It's just. . .there's too much stress in my life right now and I need a break. Please understand?
I'm not sure where I'm going. I'll try to call when I figure that out. Try, not definite. Ok? I just need to decompress for a while. I'll see you soon! Oh, and I'm sure either you've gotten in touch with Dad or vice-versa. Tell him I love him!
Thanks for understanding!
~Jordan
"Well? Does she say anything?"
"She said she needed to get away for a little while and she's coming back."
"Did she say. . .?"
"Where she's going? No. I don't think she even. . . Here, why don't you read it?" I held the letter out to Max and watched him take it with trembling hands. He moved over to the couch and sat down to read it. I wasn't sure if I should stay where I was or move over to him. It's not like it was a suicide note or anything.
"Well, it sounds like she's at least being a little reasonable. Realizing the need for a break before things overwhelmed her. Though there are more orthodox ways to ask for a vacation."
"I'm just going to chalk it up as sick days right now. It's bending the rules a little, but she's too damn good to lose. And she's. . .I don't know, Max, she's become like a kid sister to me and I just want to protect her."
"I understand. I think she sort of thinks of you as her big brother. I know you know about the time she almost died. . ."
"It's funny. . .neither of you use the word 'suicide attempt' with that night."
"I'm still not convinced that it was intentional. But. . . Garret? How much do you know about Jordan's past?"
"Before med school? Not a lot. She doesn't really talk about her life that much."
"I know how she is about sharing information. But I think that as her friend and her boss there are some things you should know. Why don't you come over and sit down. . ."
So I did. He proceeded to tell me about her mother's struggles with mental illness ~ probably severe depression or maybe bi-polar disorder would be the diagnosis now ~ and how at age 5, Jordan found Emily cutting her hair and her arms and hands in the bathroom. He went on to tell me about Emily's murder, what they knew about it. How it was unsolved even after all this time, and how he knew it still haunted Jordan because it still haunted him. Suddenly a lot of the pieces of the puzzle that was Jordan Cavanaugh were falling into place. Things fit and made some sense. Her empathy with the bodies of the crime victims, her determination to get answers and not settle for a probable cause of death.
". . .and so that's how it's been in her life. I don't know what else I can do. I can't tell her to let her mother's death go because I still can't. I just. . ."
"Max, I think you've both done the best you could under the circumstances. And it seems to me that if Jordan realizes the need to take some time off because of stress, somewhere along the line, the therapy helped a little."
"Maybe you're right. Well, now that we know that she at least seems to be ok, I'm going to go home ~ day off. Maybe I can figure out where she would have gone. If I hear anything, I'll let you know."
"Thanks Max. I'll do the same. Let me know if there's anything else I can do."
"Will do." As we stood, I held out my hand for a handshake, but he said something about me being like family and pulled me into a strong hug. Then he headed towards the elevator bay.
I sat there for I don't know how long, my mind going over everything he'd told me. In some ways, I was no closer to understanding Jordan than I ever had been; but in others, his revelations helped me to piece some things together. Damn. That girl had been through more shit before her eleventh birthday than some people have to go through in a lifetime. Sometimes life really wasn't fair. But I knew more than ever that I couldn't turn my back on her. For better or worse, she'd wandered into my life and I couldn't let her go.
With a sigh, I got up and walked down towards personnel to let them know that Jordan was going to be out sick for a few days and that everything had already been cleared so there was no need for follow-up.
. . .to be continued. . .