Title: Corrupting the Heart of The Scooby Gang
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters but if I did then I would
treat them a lot better than their current owner Joss Whedon. Why did you
have to do that to Xander? Just joking Mr. Whedon.please don't have me
taken out. I know all you need to make is one call and.
Feedback: PLEASEEEEEE with vamp dust sprinkled on top.
Spoilers: Major Spoilers can be found in every nook and cranny.
Summary: Set after "Dirty Girls". Xander's thoughts as he is still
unconscious after the battle. Can he still be the goofy Xander we all now
and love or will this be the breaking point for the "Heart" of the
Scoobies?
Corrupting The Heart
Of The Scooby Gang
-Great beauty, great strength, and great riches are really and truly of no great use; a right heart exceeds all. -Ben Franklin
Xander's POV:
"So you are the one who sees things. Well, let's see what we can do about that."
Then all I can remember is searing pain as his thumb glided into my eye like a hot knife into a stick of butter. I am suddenly dropped to the ground, not sure of whom exactly saved me from the completion of my impending fate. The only thing I am aware of is the blood pouring from my eye sockets now that the eye isn't there at all.
Here in the hospital, surrounded by the potentials that were barely able to survive, I keep having flashbacks of this evening's events. As I slip in and out of consciousness, I remember the argument between myself, Willow, Giles and Buffy. We didn't believe that an attack so soon was the wisest thing. Buffy refused to listen, determined to take back whatever it was that Caleb had of hers. I decided to dismiss my doubts, certain that Buffy was doing what she thought best for the mission. Beside, after all these years she hasn't let me down.yet.
I remember the stirring speech I gave the potentials on Buffy's behalf. Thinking back to what I told them I realize that I told them half- truths. Yes, Buffy does care about all of us, but as the Slayer she is ready and willing to let any of us die. Her first priority is the mission, as it were with every Slayer before her. I had the gall to tell these girls that they shouldn't doubt Buffy knowing full well that I myself had problems with the plan. How ironic that I decided to blindly follow her into battle and for that, lose an eye.
I don't relish waking up. True, Willow will be there and I want to reassure her that I am fine, even if it is a lie, but what I don't want to see is the casualties. The broken spirits and broken bones of the girls. But what I especially don't want to see is the cold emotionless eyes of Buffy. Watching as she draws into herself, shutting out her friends and family.
Through her hastiness and stubbornness, we have not only lost friends, but also fighters who we can ill afford to lose in this war. She has lost the confidence and trust of the girls who were fortunate to survive and has lost my loyalty. Funny how it took my losing an eye to see things more clearly. I was a fool to believe in Buffy so much. Slayer or not she can be wrong from time to time and as I reflect I realize she's wrong quite a bit.
That's okay. She breaks my heart to go sleep with vampires then sends me into battle unprepared to lose an eye. Whatever. I'll just go back to being plain old goofy Xander. Maybe I can make some nifty pirate jokes when I get my eye patch and act like nothing's wrong.
Here in my head I am alone with MY demons.Until now.
"Let thy discontents be thy secrets. If the World knows them 'twill despise thee and increase them." replied Buffy/The First
Now The First wants to keep me company.
END
R/R Please Feedback is chicken soup for the soul.
Love, Jaded316
Corrupting The Heart
Of The Scooby Gang
-Great beauty, great strength, and great riches are really and truly of no great use; a right heart exceeds all. -Ben Franklin
Xander's POV:
"So you are the one who sees things. Well, let's see what we can do about that."
Then all I can remember is searing pain as his thumb glided into my eye like a hot knife into a stick of butter. I am suddenly dropped to the ground, not sure of whom exactly saved me from the completion of my impending fate. The only thing I am aware of is the blood pouring from my eye sockets now that the eye isn't there at all.
Here in the hospital, surrounded by the potentials that were barely able to survive, I keep having flashbacks of this evening's events. As I slip in and out of consciousness, I remember the argument between myself, Willow, Giles and Buffy. We didn't believe that an attack so soon was the wisest thing. Buffy refused to listen, determined to take back whatever it was that Caleb had of hers. I decided to dismiss my doubts, certain that Buffy was doing what she thought best for the mission. Beside, after all these years she hasn't let me down.yet.
I remember the stirring speech I gave the potentials on Buffy's behalf. Thinking back to what I told them I realize that I told them half- truths. Yes, Buffy does care about all of us, but as the Slayer she is ready and willing to let any of us die. Her first priority is the mission, as it were with every Slayer before her. I had the gall to tell these girls that they shouldn't doubt Buffy knowing full well that I myself had problems with the plan. How ironic that I decided to blindly follow her into battle and for that, lose an eye.
I don't relish waking up. True, Willow will be there and I want to reassure her that I am fine, even if it is a lie, but what I don't want to see is the casualties. The broken spirits and broken bones of the girls. But what I especially don't want to see is the cold emotionless eyes of Buffy. Watching as she draws into herself, shutting out her friends and family.
Through her hastiness and stubbornness, we have not only lost friends, but also fighters who we can ill afford to lose in this war. She has lost the confidence and trust of the girls who were fortunate to survive and has lost my loyalty. Funny how it took my losing an eye to see things more clearly. I was a fool to believe in Buffy so much. Slayer or not she can be wrong from time to time and as I reflect I realize she's wrong quite a bit.
That's okay. She breaks my heart to go sleep with vampires then sends me into battle unprepared to lose an eye. Whatever. I'll just go back to being plain old goofy Xander. Maybe I can make some nifty pirate jokes when I get my eye patch and act like nothing's wrong.
Here in my head I am alone with MY demons.Until now.
"Let thy discontents be thy secrets. If the World knows them 'twill despise thee and increase them." replied Buffy/The First
Now The First wants to keep me company.
END
R/R Please Feedback is chicken soup for the soul.
Love, Jaded316