Chapter TTTTTWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! FI-NA-LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYY!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOO!!! DA-DOOOOOOOO!!!...and, that's a wrap!! ^_^ What did I just say? No meaning, of course! Just read, and stuff! :)

Warning: You…probably noticed this isn't G rated. You probably also noticed this is called "Sick and Twisted Hamtaro". Kindly do the math and notice that this story, and all in its series, are not cute and fluffy like the ones on TV.  So there. I warned you. I won't tolerate any flames upon this subject because of your stupidity to read this even after I warned you.

Yet another author note before you read on your merry way: I recommend that you read my "Sick and Twisted Hamtaro" story before you read this. Or else you won't get why everyone's acting so…well, so quirky.

Disclaimer: She sells sea shells by the seashore. I don't own Hamtaro.

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A few days after this one day, Bijou wasn't to be found. She wasn't coming to the clubhouse. Nobody could get into her house, or see into it, since the window and curtains were closed.

"WAAAH!! MY BIJOU!!!!" cried Boss.  

"Aw, there, there, Boss-man, I'm sure she's all right…!" Hamtaro responded, trying to comfort him.

"How can you be so sure!?"

"Um…intuition?"

"Oh, so now you remember I exist!" interrupted Hamtaro's intuition.

"WAAH!! You scared me!!"

Boss looked at Hamtaro in a puzzled way.

"Is he OK?" Boss asked himself, watching Hamtaro jumping around, hitting himself in the head, and yelling about…something.

"I think you ought to be more worried about Hamtaro, than Bijou…" replied Boss's intuition.

"BIJOU COMES FIRST!!" he yelled. All the other ham-hams who were present, except for Hamtaro, inched away. 

***

A few weeks later, all the Ham-Hams were sitting around, acting normal as possible. Boss was in a state of depression…I mean, he always is, but this time because Bijou isn't there. Jingle was also not there. Sandy was sad, because she hadn't anybody to admire. Well, to make a long story shorter, everybody was acting a little more depressed than usual, except for Pashmina, who was just stating the obvious.

And yet, the answer to everyone's Bijou question came. She came all right, but with a little something…oh, hell, she had a baby with her.

Soon, everybody was crowding around Bijou, cooing at the baby.

"Say, what's her name?" Hamtaro asked. Bijou just shrugged her shoulders.

"Like, who's baby is it?" Sandy asked, smiling at the adorable little baby cute hamster kid. Bijou just smiled.

"Mine, ov course!" she replied. Hamtaro gasped. Everyone looked at him funny.

"Why isn't that strange?" he asked, noticing those looks.

"Hmm, could it be, because, oh, I dunno, she has sex with just about every guy Ham she sees?" Panda sarcastically questioned.

"Okay then…who's the father?"

"Well…the last one I did it with was…hmm…Jingle!"

"She does sorta look like him…" added Howdy.

"She vill open her eyes zoon!" happily stated Bijou. Everyone cutely gasped.

"So what about her name, anyways?" Hamtaro asked.

"Oh, I don't know!" Bijou replied, in a happy, excited way.

"Maybe you should name her after her first words!" suggested Boss. The baby was too cute for even Boss to be depressed. He looked at her face and smiled. She had white fur, like her mom, but brown markings, like Jingle. Except they were a bit more faded. And her right ear was white.

"Vat do you mean?"

"Well…" he replied, beginning a flashback.

******BEGIN FLASHBACK******

Boss is only a little baby, with one front tooth.

Boss: "Bath! Bath!"

Boss's dad: "Hmm…'Bath' isn't a very good baby name…"

Boss's mom: "I kinda like it!"

Boss's dad: "…for a guy…"

Boss's mom: "Fine then! How about 'Boss' for 'Bath', eh?"

Boss's dad: "Okay!"

******END FLASHBACK*********

"…so that's what happened." finished Boss.

"Hmm…I zee…" replied Bijou, "…if it iz zomezing good, zat vill be her name!" 

The baby began to rub her eyes a bit. She turned her head a bit, facing a wall. At first, it was just a tiny squint. As her eyes were just about to fully open, a window seemed to materialize at the wall she was looking at.

When she was ready to see the first thing of her life, a human baby became magically small enough, and apparently was underground, to peek inside the window. But, it wasn't just any baby. It was Rosemary's chi- cough- I mean, it was a psychotic baby. When it peered through the window, the blood and psychotic effects were all there.

"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" yelled the baby.

"Hm? Vat iz it?" asked Bijou. The baby waved her paw in the direction of the window, and uttered the words,

"Ps-psychotic Baby." A dramatic moment indeed.

Anyways, when Bijou and the others looked over there, the baby and window had already disappeared. They looked back to the baby.

But, she wasn't the most adorable thing ever, not anymore, nope. She was so scared, her fur was really spiked up, all over. And for having her first sight be such a horrible thing, her eyes became big and wide, bulgy, like a "Simpsons" character.   

"Psychotic baby…geez…advanced vocabulary…"  Dexter commented, not wanting to comment on this new appearance.

"Hmm…Psychotic Baby…Psychotic…Baby…Psy…cho…tic…Ba…by…Zat'll be her name!!" declared Bijou.

"Are you, like, sure?" asked Sandy. Bijou nodded.

Unfortunately for Psychotic Baby, Bijou didn't try and be polite as Dexter tried being.

"Who wants to give her a sibling? Eh? Eh? Anybody??" Bijou asked.

"HEY! BIJOU!!!" Hamtaro yelled, shocked at Bijou's behavior.

The Ham-Hams soon left poor Psychotic Baby alone, to go and do whatever it is that they usually do.

"Heke? Why did everyone leave?" she asked. She looked around the clubhouse. No one seemed to care at all. She looked to her mom. Also didn't care. And where was her father in all this? Did he care even less than her mom did?

Psychotic Baby sat down.

"Why am I being outcasted? What's so wrong with…me…?" She questioned, beginning to cry. Still, no one even batted an eye to her direction.

Psychotic Baby wiped away a few tears as she got up and walked over to sit in a corner. If nobody seemed to see her, she felt no reason to sit in the middle of the room, like an idiot.

"Am I *sob* am I so…so *sob* horrible? Why *sniff* why's everyone…" she cried. She looked around. The only one not seeming to have any fun at all was herself.

"I must be worthless…" she commented. Before Psychotic Baby could think anymore, she heard something. She listened closer.

It was music. Some of the most beautiful music she'd ever heard. And it sounded like it was getting closer.

"Wow…it's so…wonderful…" she whispered to herself. For a few moments, she forgot all about everything else.

"Like it?" asked a deep voice.

"Huh?"

She looked up. It was a hamster she'd never seen before, one with a brown back and ears, purple mohawk, and a red guitar.    

"It's not finished, though…"

She was in too much shock to even answer. Someone could see her? 

"I decided coming here was the most important thing I had to do."

"Wh-why?"

"Because, I heard someone special was going to come here."

"If you're going to see someone special, why are you hanging around with me?"

"And if that special someone is you?"

"Oh, no it can't possibly be-"

Jingle set down his guitar and embraced Psychotic Baby.

"I can't miss out on the chance of seeing my only daughter for the first time, now can I?"

"Dau…ght…er?" she slowly asked. Despite the question, she knew quite well that Jingle was her father. And she was quite happy about this. A few tears trickled down her cheeks, as she hugged her father in return.

"It's great song. I was thinking of how great my daughter would be when I wrote this. And I think that such a great song fits you just perfectly." Jingle commented, as he began playing the song again. Psychotic Baby just smiled and listened. She fell asleep on his shoulder as he finished playing the last notes of what he had already written…

***

***

***

******EPILOGUE*******

"Like it? I wrote it a little while back." said Jingle. Psychotic Baby nodded.

Just then, Boss was passing by, carrying a new bottle of Prozac.

"Ah, can you hold on just a sec., Dad? There's something I need to take care of…" Psychotic Baby asked.

"Sure!" responded Jingle. She just grinned evilly.

"Okay…"

Psychotic Baby dashed up to Boss, and whisked away his Prozac.

"Ak! Give that back!!"

"Heheheh…" Boss started running after her. She just ran away, into the bathroom.

"No…you wouldn't…" She just gave another evil grin…

FLUSH!!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

"Bwahaha!!"

Soon, Psychotic Baby was known for being quite evil amongst the Hams. She'd do stuff like hanging a knife just inches from Maxwell's reach (remember, he's suicidal), or destroying Boss's Prozac, or teasing Hamtaro when he'd least need it. But the one Ham-Ham she'd really look out for was Bijou. Whenever she would get into a situation where Psychotic Baby would get a sibling, Psychotic Baby would interfere and knock Bijou into tomorrow.

Nobody, except for Bijou, really had to worry much, though. Psychotic Baby would always hang out with her dad, anyway, and would only bother somebody whenever she got annoyed by them.

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END OF

SICK AND TWISTED HAMTARO: THE ONE AND ONLY PSYCHOTIC BABY!

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D'oh! I had an idea, but when I was about to write this, I, like, lost it!! So, it's not as good as I had planned. Oh, well. But, now, Coconut, you see why PB always hangs out with Jingle. Hmm…okay, stuff. POOF!