Harry Potter Day
Derrick Patrelli
SlytherinBrandBabyOil@hotmail.com
Harry Potter
Slash: Draco Malfoy/Remus Lupin-Set sometime in the future after Hogwarts. Also, hints of Severus Snape/ Harry Potter. Ten points to any person that understands the Floyd Camaro reference.
One side of the bed had gone cold already, and it was only a matter of time before Draco's side would go cold also, regardless of the fact that his own body heat should have kept it warm. He would have accused his husband of spelling it to make certain he woke, but Remus was rarely that cruel. Draco was left to assume that the coldness was all in his head, but what did it matter because Remus was in the kitchen and he was naked under chilly sheets, and the world was horribly unfair like this.
After more or less another five minutes of this circular thought, Draco thought he might as well go and steal Remus' breakfast from him. Normally he wouldn't eat breakfast, and so none was ever made for him. But today…today he would need all the fortitude he could muster, even if it was falsely derived from food. This was, in Draco's mind, the worst day in all existence. It was horrible, and horrifying, and…horrid!
With that decisive mental exclamation, he thought to grab the robe Remus had given him three years before at Christmas. The gift was the result of a particularly humiliating experience that had taught Granger and Weasley a rather lot more than they had ever wanted to learn. Mainly, that one Draco Malfoy did not like to dress in the morning before at least one strong cup of anything hot and containing fifteen sugars. It had also taught them that he woke wanting Remus' touch as much as he did when he fell asleep the night before.
Draco still refused to dress until after his morning cuppa. He just made it a point to put something on before he left the room. This was a good thing today, because they already had guests. From somewhere in the other room he could hear Granger berating the Weasel about phallic shaped balloons. And through the kitchen there was Remus, along with nearly every other Weasley family member. His husband had, once again, invited other's over to eat without informing him. Not that it would have made any difference in his behavior.
He carefully lowered himself into his lovers lap, kissed him good morning while ignoring Molly's greeting, and proceeded to take the half eaten plate from Remus' place.
"Thanks for breakfast love. When do we expect the Boy Wonder to come in and act surprised?"
"Draco! You haven't told him have you?"
"Would I ruin your fun? No, don't answer that. I didn't tell him. He might not understand why you all feel the need to make a fuss, but he does know that you will regardless of whatever flimsy excuse you've made."
"Don't act petulant. We had just as big a party for your day as we've ever had for Harry."
"Harry has always known what balloons are. He didn't scream when one popped on his day last year."
"And you haven't screamed after that one time. Besides, hardly anyone even remembers the incident. Right, Arthur?"
Ron and Hermione chose that precise minute to walk in and insert Ron's foot into his mouth.
"Heya, just finished with the balloons. Do you all remember the first party we all had? When that balloon popped and Malfoy fell shrieking into the punch bowl? That was pretty great, huh?" There was a guarded silence, followed by a calm, dignified voice:
"I did not shriek. I made a single, startled cry, and when I proceeded to move away from the source of my alarm, and unfortunately tipped the punch bowl." With that, Draco made a stately exit in the hopes of avoiding further humiliation. He was tempted to call Weasley on it, but knew he must save all his vindictive antagonism for the real source of all today's coming disasters. Potter.
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It was three hours later, two potion detected Canary Creams, and one irate Draco Malfoy later that Harry J. Potter came to enter the two story residence of his second Godfather, Remus Lupin. And into a party that topped last year's for extravagance, extremes, and pure population. He wasn't sure he could actually get in through the front door.
"Happy Harry Potter Day Harry!"
Feeling slightly deaf, he did manage to enter the house, only to be accosted by first the Weasleys, the Grangers, and then by a toddler he didn't recognize until the voice of Seamus Finnegan finally shouted, "We're thinking of renaming him JesusMaryandJoseph because we say it often enough about him." Making a mental note to remove Seamus' wand before the rum came out, Harry finally made his way to the person he had intended to see all along.
"Remus. What is going on?"
"See, I told you he'd have no idea. Draco was under the impression that you wouldn't be surprised to have a party. It's good to see you Harry. I really have to go send that child with the babysitter we hired. I'll be back in a moment or five." Wisely leaving without waiting for consent, Remus was gone, leaving Harry to look over at Draco with a look of unamussed indignation.
"You could have warned me with more than, 'Dear God if you love your life, don't come to my home'!"
"I was trying to be subtle. And I didn't actually want to lie to Remus when I told him I didn't give anything away. He can tell when I'm lying. I think he smells it."
"I thought you were threatening me. You know, finally cracked and decided you wanted me gone for good."
"Harry, if ever there came a point in time when I had to choose between my life and yours…then I would let you die. Until then I have to keep you alive. Otherwise Remus will cry, and then where would I be?"
"But all those times you've poisoned my food? The time you tried to push me off the balcony? Giving that crazed stalker my secret home address?"
"I never poisoned you. I've put highly unstable potions in your deserts. You were drunk, I was trying to help you and *you* slipped. And I was trying to remind you of Moody's Mantra. 'Constant vigilance!' You were getting too lax in security."
"Harry! Come over here and see what Ron's done to your balloons! Or, no, Hermione says they started out this way. It's interesting all the same. Or are you protecting Malfoy from them?"
"You're not coming to the next party Wood!" And with the fifteenth of thirtieth huffs for the day, Draco stomped into the kitchen to break open the rum. With any luck Finnegan would start someone on fire, relieving the tedious boredom of these people lauding Potter's triumphant achievements.
It was largely assumed by the wizarding populace that Draco Malfoy did nothing with his day but lounge about in pouffy silks and poncy satins. It might have amazed them to know that A.) He did not lounge. Occasionally, he relaxed against Remus in a cozy doze that did not remotely resemble lounging. B.) He owned one silk item, and one satin item, and neither would ever be viewed by anyone but his husband. If he was a good werewolf. And C.) He did actually have a job.
Well, not a job, per say. He invested his money in experimental potions. The advantages to this were that he made a great deal of money without the effort and he was the first to know about anything in the field of potions. He could go into the offices he had furnished himself, and every once in a while, he would actually help. It suited him, and left him time to write. The greatest irony in this was that while everyone here had read his work at one point or another, only Remus knew that it was his. The interesting pen name Floyd Camaro had disguised his true identity well. Who would think that a Malfoy would stoop to using such a common muggle name as Floyd?
Of course, another advantage to his 'patronage of the arts' was that he was allowed a two week grace period to use any of the certified potions before any information was released to the general public. Harry did not know what was coming quite literally. It hadn't existed three months before, and the Prophet wouldn't begin to mention its study for another five days.
If there was one thing Draco had tried to teach Potter, for his own well-being and not Draco's enjoyment, was that a wizard never accepted anything to drink if the host did not partake of it. Or, for the paranoid, that the glass he was served in was tested before he drank from it. This is where the unstable potions had come in. Granted, he hadn't actually wanted to see Potter stripe to his knickers and dance on the table, but a well deserved lesson had been taught. Or so he had wrongly assumed.
Watching Harry once again trustingly take a glass of wine from his own hand, Draco had to conclude that Potter was hopeless and would one day be taken six feet under by Neville Longbottom's Homebrew. But for tonight at least, the most Harry had to worry about was…
"You know. It's funny. But I have the oddest urge to see Professor Snape. Severus. SSSSeverus. Severusssssss. Suss. Sussss. Sussed. Am I drunk?"
"Oh dear, have you had a little too much to drink Harry?"
"This is my first glass. Do you suppose the good Professor will have something to drink? I think he will. I better make sure. May I borrow a bottle of wine Remus? To make sure that Severus has some? I'll be back very soon. I promise." Harry took the half finished bottle from the table, walked haltingly to the floo, and disappeared to Snape's personal manor. With Voldemort's final defeat, Severus had declined to have his own day, and retired to a life as a recluse; broken only with his visits to bother Black, lecture Lupin, or run amok in Draco's state of the art potions lab. All in all a rewarding life.
"Draco. What did you do?"
"Wait."
It was just under three minutes that a black clad figure promptly hurdled through the floo, followed more stately by a larger black clad figure that turned into Snape himself.
"I believe you lost something. He wandered into my home trying to see if I kept alcohol under my sitting room chairs."
"Professor! How exciting to see you. I wanted to tell you about the experiment you suggested, before it hit papers."
"The Gryffindor keyed Humiliation potion?"
"Yes. That very one. It works splendidly from the looks of it."
"I would hardly consider Potters actions splendidly humiliating."
"Wait until its run its course."
"Ron. These balloons. Do you know what they look like?"
"Err, don't speak if you can help it Harry."
"They look like my bits. Your bits are longer if I remember correctly. Am I right Hermione?"
"Oh! Harry. You weren't to let anyone know yet."
"Know what? That you and Ron have seen each other naked?"
"Yes. That was exactly it Harry. Thank-you."
"You're very welcome Hermione. Though you didn't answer the quest-"
Remus took pity on him then, and cast a quick stupefy. As Harry sank towards the ground, Remus turned to his husband.
"How long will it last?"
"He only had a mouthful. He'll be better in another…ahh, yes. Ten minutes. That will be one half hour exactly."
"Well, it's not too long then. After Harry bound you in that closet for an hour last year, I thought we might not see him for the rest of the evening. You are ever merciful in your punishment."
"Don't speak too soon. I put a condition on the potion before I served it. The potion will only fully dissipate after he kisses my boots. The both of them." There was a groan as Severus took the spell off Harry, leaving him woozy and wondering why he wanted to start making out with Snape's leg…
"Huh? I have to what Malfoy?"
"Pucker up Potter. Today just isn't your day."