July 27, 2001
First Log: Chihiro and Risa

Risa: Hello.

Chihiro: Hello Risa.
Chihiro: Thanks for sending me a copy of the new instant messenger program.
Chihiro: It's nicer than the old one.

Risa: Yes, I like it better too.

Chihiro: So, today was the big day for you, right?
Chihiro: You finally saw it, didn't you?

Risa: Yes. Just came back from the theater.
Risa: I'm very impressed. Still don't know what to say.
Risa: They actually used my name, and written on the farewell card! You told me they would, but I was still shocked.
Risa: I thought, now everyone in the theater would stare at me.
Risa: But of course they didn't. I'm glad.
Risa: And even Haku read my name! I just loved him.
Risa: It all seemed so real!

Chihiro: It was real...

Risa: To you, yes. And I know that.
Risa: But everyone else thinks it's just a story.

Chihiro: You know, it's better that way.

Risa: I guess so. Still... I wish some more people would know the truth.
Risa: Well, they know it now, but they won't believe it.
Risa: Don't you wish that too?

Chihiro: Not any more, at least not that much.
Chihiro: After all, in the end they just pretend to believe.
Chihiro: I don't blame them. Sometimes I have doubts myself.

Risa: Don't say that. I know how much you changed after that. You cannot have made that up.

Chihiro: People can be very persuasive. They have a logical explanation for everything. Who can argue against logic?

Risa: Hm...

Chihiro: You know, your advice back then was better than all the help I got from others. Things became a lot easier.
Chihiro: It was a good idea to just let them talk and agree to everything, even though I knew they're wrong.
Chihiro: But I'm afraid I might forget some day.

Risa: Don't even think that way. How can you forget?
Risa: And after you told them everything, they even made a movie of it. You'll always have that.

Chihiro: Probably. But... I just don't think I belong here any more, the way I am now.
Chihiro: Can you imagine how many times I dreamt of Rin and Haku and the others?
Chihiro: It's been three years now, but sometimes it feels like yesterday.
Chihiro: And sometimes not.
Chihiro: I'm afraid somebody takes these feelings away. When I grow up.

Risa: But aren't you glad about the movie?
Risa: To think that they made a film from it! I'm sure it will be a big success.
Risa: Look at the ratings it already got, and it was just the opening now.
Risa: And people will feel that there's some truth in the story.

Chihiro: You're right, but... I don't want all that attention.
Chihiro: It already started now. The bad stuff.
Chihiro: I heard that some people from my old town said, the whole family staged the whole "magical disappearance", so they could sell the story later.

Risa: You know they're fools, don't listen to them.

Chihiro: Well... There's more now.
Chihiro: I guess people I get to know now might never really know me.
Chihiro: What can I tell them anyway?
Chihiro: If I tell them my story, they think I'm a weirdo. A stupid weirdo who can't even make up an own story, but uses one from a movie.
Chihiro: If I don't tell them, would they ever know who I really am?

Risa: I know who you are, and I'm going to slap them all in the face if they don't believe you.

Chihiro: That's nice, but... you don't know people like I know, now.
Chihiro: I wouldn't believe it myself if someone ever told me such a story.
Chihiro: You know, like the greatest thing that ever happens to you can also be the worst thing?

Risa: Hm...

Chihiro: Sometimes I think, after this, I don't need anything from life anymore.
Chihiro: Everything that can happen feels stupid, common, ordinary...

Risa: Haku will come. You said so yourself.

Chihiro: It's been three years now! And have you ever heard of anyone from the Spirit World suddenly appearing in this world? A dragon over Tokyo?
Chihiro: Still, in a way you're right.
Chihiro: I do believe that he'll come one day. I keep waiting for him.

(Translator note: she uses the term "Kamikakushi no Sekai", whose literal translation is: "World of the Magical Disappearance". Later they also use the term "Kami no sekai", which literally translates to "World of Gods". Both is translated as "Spirit World".)

Risa: You still have no boyfriend?

Chihiro: I'm thirteen!
Chihiro: And I didn't mean it that way.

Risa: And I'm fourteen, and yet... what about that boy from school you told me about? That "Monkey"?

Chihiro: "Monkey"? What do you mean?
Chihiro: Oh, Masaaki? I don't think he'd like being called after "Monkey".

(Translator note: they're referring to a Japanese actor named "Masaaki Sakai". He's most known for the cult series known as "Monkey" or "Monkey Magic" by NTV in the late 70s. He's still popular as a singer. Because he has the same first name as this schoolmate "Masaaki", the latter one seems to be called "Monkey" by Risa.)

Chihiro: No he's just a someone in school. He's nice because he doesn't ask many questions.

Risa: Woulcn't he be someone to tell your story?

Chihiro: No.

Risa: Why? Don't you want to?

Chihiro: I don't want to tell anybody.
Chihiro: And I'm not sure whether he would keep it to himself. I don't know him that well.
Chihiro: He'd probably make fun of it. That's why we moved again, after all. At the last school everyone thought I was crazy.

Risa: I know. You told me.

Chihiro: I don't even like my name any more. Everyone uses it now so often.

Risa: You don't you like that? Maybe they'd even start calling you "Sen".

Chihiro: What? They would do that to tease me, because I'm not like everyone else.
Chihiro: But I don't really care about them.

Risa: Well, when they start talking about "Chihiro" you can pretend they mean "Kobayashi".

Chihiro: She's still your favorite player, right?
Chihiro: That wouldn't work for me…

(Translator note: They are referring to a Japanese baseball player named "Chihiro Kobayashi". She pitched in the "All Japan girl's baseball team". Even though baseball is popular in Japan, it is very much dominated by men.)

Risa: At least they changed your family name in the movie.
Risa: And it seemed they got the length of stay shortened.

Chihiro: Yes, of course they couldn't fit everything into two hours films.
Chihiro: They cut out the part between signing the contract and when Haku took me to see my parents. That was over a month.

Risa: Yes I noticed. You told me it took you two weeks to get used to the work.

Chihiro: Yes. And four to get used to those dreadful stairs.
Chihiro: And after that it took seven weeks until I let Kaonashi in. They left out so much.
Chihiro: The drawing was totally different from how it was. The Gods were not at all like in the movie.
Chihiro: They were more feeling than appearance. I guess you can't draw that.
Chihiro: And they added some of their own stuff.
Chihiro: And Rin came pretty short.
Chihiro: Well, they got the bath house pretty much right.

Risa: It's anime after all. They had to please the crowds. And every maker has its style, you know.

Chihiro: I know, and I don't complain. It's even hard for me to explain how it should be seen.

Risa: You should write it all down.

Chihiro: I don't try any more, it's too hard.
Chihiro: It also reminds me of all those sessions with the psychiatrist, when I told them everything.
Chihiro: Well, I tried to tell them, but I don't think they listened.
Chihiro: Maybe I can get a copy of their notes. I'm afraid of forgetting.

Risa: It all seemed so real when you all were gone those three months.
Risa: We all were worried, and the search groups and newspapers and everything.
Risa: Now it's just a story.

Chihiro: Don't say that.

Risa: Sorry.
Risa: And what was that about the abandoned theme park?
Risa: Your father really said that, didn't he?

Chihiro: Yes he did, but you know my dad.
Chihiro: He has an explanation for everything. He thinks he's so great, with his imported car and all.
Chihiro: There never was a theme park there. No houses at all, when we went back. Just the hill behind that one building.

Risa: I know. You took me there. And the empty river bed.

Chihiro: Yes. I haven't been there since New Year. I miss it.

Risa: You did spend a lot of time there, didn't you? Do you still draw?

Chihiro: Like two years ago? No, since we moved again I didn't find a place yet to be alone.
Chihiro: And there's always someone around me.

Risa: Your mom, right?

Chihiro: Yes, and the rest of her family. Why don't they leave me alone when I want to?

Risa: They'd think you'd run away again.

Chihiro: And I probably would. I hate my mom. I wish she had a memory of what happened to her. She's stupid.

Risa: Don't say that.

Chihiro: But when I think that way?

Risa: Is your dad fine?

Chihiro: I haven't seen him last weekend, like he promised.
Chihiro: Ever since he got that new girlfriend it's like he has forgotten me.

Risa: You know that's not true.

Chihiro: Well, it seems that way. And all he cared for during the divorce was the car and money and stuff.
Chihiro: I don't think he ever believed me. I wish I hadn't told them anything at all.

Risa: You don't seriously think your parents separated because of you?
Risa: They had a hard time too, after finding out that they had been absent for a few months.
Risa: You had no choice, I mean, what would you have told them?

Chihiro: I don't know. Maybe that I as well don't remember anything at all.
Chihiro: I thought they'd believe me.

Risa: But they don't have any other explanation...

Chihiro: Sure they do. That magnetic field that puts us into deep sleep for weeks, or the alien abduction story.
Chihiro: And don't forget all that amnesia stuff they wanted us to believe.

Risa: That doesn't explain everything.

Chihiro: You expect them really to believe a fairy tale? They are grown ups, not little kids.
Chihiro: Believe me, I've tried to make them believe.
Chihiro: I've tried.

Risa: I believe you.

Chihiro: I know, thank you.
Chihiro: Sometimes I think you are the only friend I have in this world.
Chihiro: You know what I ask myself? When I leave this world, will I go back to the Spirit World?

Risa: You're not seriously thinking of... leaving?

Chihiro: What's holding me here?
Chihiro: But don't worry, I won't leave you yet. You know what?

Risa: What?

Chihiro: Maybe because of this, people will start to think differently about things they cannot explain.
Chihiro: Have you noticed that a lot of anime and movies are dealing with some weird stuff recently? Like ESP and clairvoyance?

(Note: ESP = Extra-Sensory Perception, a part of parapsychology which includes "clairvoyance": the ability to see or sense people and things not present to those with ordinary sight.)

Risa: Hm...

Chihiro: Maybe more people are starting to see the truth, I mean that there is more to this world than what they teach in school.

Risa: You think they went through similar experiences, but don't talk about it?

Chihiro: No, I just think they feel some truth even though they cannot see it.
Chihiro: I just got lucky to see it myself, I guess.

Risa: Do you think they're going to market the bath house? Make it a tourist attraction?

Chihiro: No, you don't understand. I'm not talking just about my experience.
Chihiro: There's a LOT more than this world and the other world together. I think.
Chihiro: Maybe people are changing, and in the future there will be more than what we believe now.
Chihiro: ...than what they believe now.

Risa: In the far future.

Chihiro: Yes, but still. Think about it.
Chihiro: And you really liked the movie?

Risa: Totally. How long ago since you saw it?

Chihiro: A few weeks ago, at a private screening.
Chihiro: I hid in my seat as deep as I could.
Chihiro: They were all very nice. I don't think they all knew who I was.
Chihiro: After all, I'm just the smart kid with a vivid imagination, who came up with that story.
Chihiro: I don't want any publicity.

Risa: But what did you think of it?
Risa: You didn't want to talk about it before I had seen it.
Risa: They always say, a movie never compares to the reality.

Chihiro: True. I had seen sketches, I knew what to expect, so I was prepared.
Chihiro: It was so hard to explain how they all looked.
Chihiro: You should have seen their first tries with Yubaaba and Kaonashi!
Chihiro: Still, it was much better than I expected. The feeling was there.
Chihiro: I thought they'd screw up more.

(Note: Kaonashi is called "No Face" in the English version.)

Risa: It's a fantastic story to begin with.

Chihiro: I guess. Still, I don't think anyone will ever begin to understand what it was like.

Risa: Maybe.

Chihiro: How could they. To them it's just a story.
Chihiro: The film should be three months long, with every minute in it I spent over there. There was so much more.

Risa: Hm...

Chihiro: Then maybe they'd get the idea.
Chihiro: But even I have forgotten so much since then.
Chihiro: And I'm sure they still wouldn't believe.
Chihiro: But say, what did you like most in the movie?

Risa: Everything. Let's see... Kaonashi was very impressive. Was he really that way?

Chihiro: Kind of, but he didn't throw up over Yubaaba. They made that up. For effects, I guess.
Chihiro: And he was really barely visible most of the time, but with a strong feeling,
Chihiro: Or a force around him, like an "aura".
Chihiro: I miss him.

Risa: As for you, what did you like best?

Chihiro: Hard to say...
Chihiro: I guess the scene that felt the most real for me was in the swamps.
Chihiro: I remember I spent hours explaining how I felt. They understood.
Chihiro: That walk took half an hour after all.

Risa: Half an hour…

Chihiro: Yes. And it was really quiet there. I felt something I seldom felt before, or after that.
Chihiro: It's hard to explain.

Risa: I can imagine. I felt weird at that part. Like there's something missing, but I don't know what.

Chihiro: Yes. It's like when you feel that you knew something a second ago, but not any more.
Chihiro: Or that you are one thought away from the truth, but you cannot think of that thought.
Chihiro: But it doesn't matter, because you know it's there.

Risa: Wow. You're good at this.

Chihiro: I've had practice. I often fell like the words are flying in my head, I just have to pick them.
Chihiro: Maybe I really will write it down some day.

Risa: You really should. It'll be a bestseller.

Chihiro: Please don't. I wouldn't ever let it be published.
Chihiro: I think it was a mistake to let them do the movie, too.

Risa: You don't seriously think that?
Risa: Don't say that, the movie is great.
Risa: And all the hype it gets... it's just this opening weekend.
Risa: Believe me, it'll soon die down. When all fans have seen it.

Chihiro: You think so?

Risa: Yes, it's just a kid's movie. It's not like Takeshi is in it.

(Translator note: Takeshi Kitano is a famous director and actor in Japan. Also known as "Beat Takeshi".)

Chihiro: I guess. But still... I feel so weird... like naked.
Chihiro: Everyone can see the most inner part of me now.
Chihiro: And I can see them see it.

Risa: Well, you are someone really special.

Chihiro: I guess.

Risa: Don't you want to be?

Chihiro: I don't know any more.
Chihiro: Right now I just want this all to be over, and not be reminded in every toy store of my past.

Risa: I see.
Risa: I guess you have to endure this a little while. But in two weeks everyone will just talk about Jurassic Park 3.

Chihiro: You think so?

Risa: Believe me. People forget easily.

Chihiro: I think you're right. I'm just glad no one here knows my real story.
Chihiro: I couldn't go through all of that again.
Chihiro: You know, this all brings up those memories everyone told me to forget.
Chihiro: And it's good and bad at the same time.

Risa: Hey, you should come visit me again, sometime soon.

Chihiro: I'd love to. My mom's busy with her job though, and she wouldn't let me travel alone.
Chihiro: Maybe we can work something out.

Risa: I really miss the good times we had.

Chihiro: Me too.

Risa: If you ever need me, I'll be there.

Chihiro: That's very nice of you, thank you.
Chihiro: But sometimes talking doesn't help that much.
Chihiro: I have to face the future on my own, after all.

Risa: Hm...

Chihiro: Sometimes I wish I would never grow up.

Risa: I know. How about those "Pippi" pills?

Chihiro: No, I'm not Peter Pan!

(Note: they are referring to famous European children literature: "Peter Pan", an English play by J. M. Barrie and "Pippi Långstrump" / "Pippi Longstocking", a Swedish book by Astrid Lindgren. Pippi made herself pills to prevent growing up, and Peter was a boy in a land where nobody grows up.)

Risa: Yes.

Chihiro: To me my past is part of reality, and growing up is part of reality.
Chihiro: If I can't go back there, I have to face staying here and getting old.
Chihiro: I'll always keep it in my heart, though.

Risa: Um, Chihiro, you scare me.

Chihiro: Why?

Risa: Sometimes you sound like you've already grown up.

Chihiro: You think so?
Chihiro: I don't know.
Chihiro: No, I don't think so. I think maybe I'm just different than everybody else.

Risa: Maybe that's the point.
Risa: I'm glad to have you as a friend.

Chihiro: Thanks. I'm also glad.

Risa: Thanks.
Risa: Well, it's already late, I'll see you around.
Risa: Enjoy your summer.

Chihiro: Thanks, same to you, we'll be in touch.
Chihiro: Bye.

Risa: Bye.