November 17, 2001
Third Log: Chihiro and Risa
Chihiro: Hello.
Risa: Hello, Chihiro. How are you?
Chihiro: Fine, thanks. My mom said you wanted to talk to me?
Risa: Yes, um, I can call you by phone too, if you want to.
Chihiro: This is ok.
Risa: You don't use Instant Messengers much any more, right?
Chihiro: I just don't use it because, well, who should I talk to anyway?
Risa: You know you can always talk to me.
Chihiro: I know, but what's the point if there's
nothing new?
Chihiro: Nothing ever really changes…
Risa: That's a depressing way to see the world,
don't you think?
Risa: I think there's a lot of new stuff to find out
every day.
Risa: When I go shopping I find new interesting
things all around me.
Chihiro: Shopping, oh…
Chihiro: There's nothing new, just the same stuff in
another wrapping.
Chihiro: Things I won't ever need.
Risa: What about music, books, art? That had been interesting to you, right?
Chihiro: Yeah, but in the end it's just all made of the
same notes, letters and colors.
Chihiro: Just in a different order.
Chihiro: It's never anything new.
Risa: What are you looking for?
Chihiro: I don't know, I can't explain it. These last
five weeks after you went home I've done a lot of thinking.
Chihiro: But I didn't find any answers, well, I didn't
even find a question.
Risa: You spend a lot of time alone, don't you?
Chihiro: My mom got a job again, and I often go biking
around.
Chihiro: When the weather allows it.
Chihiro: I see all the people on the street, and in
their cars, and I wonder…
Chihiro: I don't know, it all seems pointless to me.
Chihiro: Like nobody wants anything to change.
Risa: Did you see Masaaki again, lately?
Chihiro: Funny that you ask. He mentioned you a few days ago.
Risa: What did he say?
Chihiro: Nothing much. He was just asking how you were
doing and to say hi whenever I talk to you.
Chihiro: You must have left an impression on him that
day at McDonalds.
Risa: Well, we've been talking last week, online.
Chihiro: Really? He has a crush on you?
Risa: No, not like that. He's interested in you.
Risa: In a way, I mean. I don't know.
Risa: He seems not like the guys I went out with, so
it's hard to tell.
Chihiro: What do you mean…
Chihiro: Interested in me…
Risa: Not like that, I don't think. Not as a
boyfriend.
Risa: More like a friend, or so.
Risa: We didn't talk much.
Risa: He just said, he wished you would talk to him
more.
Chihiro: So he's bothering you to get information about
me?
Chihiro: Did you tell him anything?
Risa: He wasn't any nuisance, and he didn't ask
much.
Risa: He just talked.
Risa: Said, he'd like to get to know you, and that
you're pretty quiet, mostly.
Risa: I didn't say anything about your problems.
Risa: Has he been a bother to you?
Chihiro: No, he's always nice. Maybe I should go out
with him, like he asked.
Chihiro: Just for a change.
Risa: You really should.
Risa: It could help you forget your past.
Chihiro: Forget?
Chihiro: I don't want to forget. Even though I don't
talk about it much.
Chihiro: It's inside of me, a part of me.
Chihiro: I miss the time when we talked about it for
hours though, back then.
Risa: Yes, that was nice. We really believed it was true.
Chihiro: Don't you believe it any more?
Chihiro: You changed, Risa.
Chihiro: What happened?
Risa: I changed?
Risa: I think you changed more than I would ever
understand.
Chihiro: I don't know, maybe it's meant to be. I'm the
happiest and saddest person in one.
Chihiro: But the happiness is limited to my memories
and dreams.
Risa: That's a depressing way to see it. There's happiness in this world, too.
Chihiro: Show me happy people! Don't you watch news?
Chihiro: Everyone's talking about a new war now,
against terrorism.
Chihiro: Where are we going?
Risa: That's in America and Europe, far from here. Don't be afraid, it won't affect you.
Chihiro: Of course it affects me, it affects everybody.
Risa: But they have to fight the terrorists, so it won't happen again.
Chihiro: But fighting itself is wrong!
Chihiro: Doesn't anybody see that?
Risa: Do you have a better idea how to solve that?
Chihiro: No, not really.
Chihiro: I don't think our cranes made any big
difference.
(Translator note: it seems, in her school too "origami" (paper) cranes have been made to show their sympathy after the Twin Tower Attack.)
Chihiro: I've been trying to understand the USA, their
way of thinking.
Chihiro: I just don't get a few things. The bible says
somewhere:
Chihiro: If someone hits you on the cheek, let them hit
the other one too.
Chihiro: And if they take your Coat, let them have your
Jacket too.
Chihiro: But nobody's talking about this right now.
(Note: This is from Matthew 5: 39-40. Original King James Translation: "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.")
Risa: You're not fair.
Risa: Everyone has a right to defend himself.
Chihiro: I know, and I don't mean it literally.
Chihiro: Or maybe I do, but only for myself.
Chihiro: I don't expect others to see things my way.
Risa: You are relating this to your Spirit World again, aren't you?
Chihiro: Maybe I do, I don't know. I just think there
are no bad persons in this world, and in the other world.
Chihiro: And no good ones. We're all the same.
Risa: But didn't you just say the world is bad?
Risa: I don't get it.
Chihiro: No, this world is beautiful in all its
details.
Chihiro: It's the minds of people that make it bad.
Chihiro: Or not the minds themselves, more the
differences in views.
Risa: You sure are confusing.
Risa: So you've been reading more about religions?
Chihiro: It's very interesting to find out how the
world works, and why.
Chihiro: Religion is the basis for everyone's beliefs.
Chihiro: Just like philosophy and science.
Risa: You should go out more, have some fun for a change.
Chihiro: And you should read "Sofuii no Sekai" by "Yoosutain Goruderu", it's a great book.
(Note: They are referring to Jostein Gaarder's "Sofies Verden" / "Sophie's World", translated from Norwegian into Japanese by Kayoko Ikeda. It is a book about the history of Philosophy, written as a novel.)
Risa: I don't know, you told me before, but we have
that stuff in school later, anyway.
Risa: I don't understand why you put so much effort
into it.
Risa: You really need some more friends.
Risa: Don't you sometimes wish, you had a brother or
a sister?
Chihiro: I don't know, I used to, but not any more.
Chihiro: I'd be different if I had any.
Chihiro: I know this is my way, it's useless to keep
thinking about what could have been.
Chihiro: Remember how we used to imagine how it would
have been, if I would have stayed there, with Rin?
Risa: I remember, sure. Don't you think that way any more?
Chihiro: Sometimes I dream that I'm back, but that's
different.
Chihiro: Most of those dreams seem just like bits of my
memory in a new order.
Chihiro: But a few times it feels totally real, and I
wake up and know someone has spoken to me from there, and I try to remember
really hard…
Chihiro: Usually I can't remember much.
Risa: Does Haku speak to you?
Chihiro: You only think of boys, don't you?
Chihiro: Yes, I think Haku has spoken with me too.
Chihiro: I sometimes remember the tone of his voice in
the mornings, but no words.
Chihiro: It's like he uses a language I have forgotten
now.
Chihiro: Or no language at all.
Risa: That's very romantic.
Chihiro: No it's not, it only confuses me!
Chihiro: It has become more intensive since the summer.
Risa: More dreams?
Risa: You didn't tell me that.
Chihiro: Not really more, but different.
Chihiro: Ever since the movie started, the dreams
became more real to me again.
Chihiro: Very slowly, though.
Risa: What does that mean?
Chihiro: I don't know. But I've been thinking about it.
Chihiro: Maybe, if many people think about the Spirit
World, it's easier for them to cross the border, or something.
Chihiro: It's like all of Japan is helping me making
the connection.
Risa: That's a strange way to put it.
Risa: I think all this fuss about the film is making
it really hard for you to forget.
Risa: You think about it too much.
Chihiro: I do not!
Chihiro: Everybody else does, but I try not to think
about the movie.
Chihiro: I never even talk about it any more.
Chihiro: Today is an exception.
Chihiro: I try to just fit into this world, which is
not easy.
Risa: I know.
Chihiro: Sometimes if someone at school talks about it,
I just want to tell them how I feel about it.
Chihiro: Most probably think, I haven't even seen it,
because I don't talk about it.
Chihiro: But that's ok.
Risa: You can talk about the movie, if you don't tell them it was really you…
Chihiro: Of course I won't tell them that, but even
talking about the movie is too much for me.
Chihiro: I'm THIS close to doing what all therapists
told me to…
Chihiro: …accepting that it all has been a piece of
imagination, a dream that I made up myself.
Chihiro: And why not? It could make things easier.
Risa: Why don't you?
Chihiro: Would it make me sleep at night? I doubt it.
Chihiro: Would it make me happier? I doubt it.
Chihiro: I'd be someone that I am not.
Chihiro: I have to find my place in the world.
Risa: My God, you're 14 years old.
Risa: You talk like you're having a mid-life crisis.
Chihiro: Hm…
Chihiro: That's a good way to put it.
Chihiro: I sometimes feel like half my life is over
already.
Chihiro: The first purpose is fulfilled.
Risa: You're weird.
Risa: But in a nice way.
Risa: I think you need a change.
Risa: Why don't you go out with this Masaaki?
Chihiro: I don't know. Maybe I will.
Chihiro: But I wouldn't know what to talk about,
anyway.
Risa: Try philosophy.
Risa: Or books.
Risa: He seemed like a smart guy.
Risa: And there are many others out there.
Risa: One of them will be the right one.
Risa: Or two, or three…
Chihiro: Stop that!
Chihiro: I'm not like you!
Risa: It's not good for you to be always alone.
Risa: I know you're not like the others, but…
Risa: You don't seriously like to be alone, do you?
Chihiro: I'll think about it.
Risa: How are your parents?
Risa: How do they take all the fuss about the movie?
Chihiro: They don't think about it that much.
Chihiro: They're glad about the extra money, but most
of it goes to an account on my sake.
Chihiro: Haven't seen my dad in a couple of weeks, but
we sometimes talk on the phone.
Chihiro: He's in Europe right now, Norway, some whaling
business.
Chihiro: I'll tell them we talked.
Risa: Yes, do that. Give them my compliments.
Chihiro: I think if it wasn't for me, my parents would
have forgotten the whole thing already.
Chihiro: Not that there's much to forget for them…
Chihiro: But I believe now they've accepted my point of
view and try to make things easier for me.
Chihiro: As far as they can.
Risa: That's great.
Chihiro: They don't try to change me any more, maybe
the movie has showed them better what I went through than all my explanations
ever could.
Chihiro: Although we don't talk about it that much.
Chihiro: Which is good, I think.
Risa: Sometimes talking doesn't help much, yeah.
Chihiro: I know it's still some time until then, but,
Chihiro: Are you having plans for the holidays?
Risa: I don't think we'll go anywhere special, just
staying here with the family over New Year.
Risa: What are you up to?
Chihiro: I don't think I'll be with my dad then.
Chihiro: So it'll be like last year, I guess, just my
mom's family.
Chihiro: Would be nice to see each other again.
Risa: Sure, if it weren't so far I'd come more
often.
Risa: Maybe we can work something out.
Chihiro: Yeah, hope so too.
Chihiro: It was nice talking to you.
Chihiro: I've got to go now, school tomorrow.
Risa: Same here.
Risa: Let me know, if anything happens.
Chihiro: What do you mean?
Risa: You know, Masaaki…
Chihiro: Ah, yeah sure.
Chihiro: See ya.
Risa: Bye.