There were more people crowding the street at night then there had been this afternoon. They lined the streets, filled the air with shouts and laughter, flowed around me like water. So many people, all so happy. All so carefree…
"Ooo, oniisan, look!"
Ari tugged on my hand as he bounced excitedly back and forth, pointing up at the sky.
Firecrackers had begun to shoot up into the air, exploding and scattering hundreds of colored embers across the night sky, bathing the street below in a rainbow of different colors. Ari was ecstatic, Mila just smiled. As for me, I found my thoughts drifting once more.
The smell of ashes was so familiar.
"Ari, don't you dare let go of Kaitin's hand," Mila warned, watching him bounce back and forth with excitement. "If you get lost, I'll kill you."
"I won't…" he replied half-heartedly, his gaze still fixed on the skies above.
Subconsciously I clasped his hand, but really, I had closed my eyes. Closed my eyes and tried to remember everything. The heat. The feeling of magic surrounding my body. Kharl-sama always there when I returned, smiling that care free smile he always wore. My heart melting, my pulse quickening, I told him whatever he needed to hear. And he would smile again. And I would blush and try to hide it.
"I'm hungry, can we go get something to eat now, huh?"
Children truly had the attention span of a flea.
"Of course," Mila smiled, and I nodded in agreement. And so we found a stand selling roast corn and chicken and bought some.
The night rolled on; games, food, the fireworks. People laughed, smiled. I laughed and smiled along with the rest of them. But somewhere deep inside of me, I couldn't understand why. Why was I lying on the outside? Smiles, laughter, they all meant happiness…a happiness I hadn't felt in a long long time.
"Kharl-sama…"
The energy people had possessed earlier in the night had faded, and many, including myself, soon found themselves simply sitting in the grassy fields watching the fireworks.
They were amazing. And amazingly loud, but somehow, my attention wasn't focused on the light show in the sky.
Somewhere in the distance, I could see fireflies. They had come with the summer. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. They looked like water lights, or maybe faeries.
"I wonder if he ever finished Left Beast…"
"Kaitin?"
I shook myself out of my trance and looked up. Mila was there, looking back at me and smiling. "Hm?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"Ah…nothing. Nothing really." I never realized how badly you could lie with so little words. "Just dazed, I guess."
I was lying. I was lying so much.
My gaze slowly passed from her deep blue eyes to Ari's sleeping figure curled up between us, then back again.
All of this. All of this was a lie.
*
"What in the name of…?" I rubbed my eyes and slowly walked to the window. Where in the hell did all this noise come from? I was alone in this room, and yet sounds of every kind imaginable filled my ears. Footsteps, people, crashes, laughter, crickets, fireworks.
Looking down at the street below, I quickly remembered.
The festival. I chuckled and shook my head. I never could remember anything. Somehow, I knew Garfakcy would have a fit if he found out I had almost forgotten.
Heading for the door, I put on a light jacket and a pulled a hat on to cover my ears. There weren't many humans out there who took kindly to youkai in these days.
Not like they ever had in the first place.
There were so many people out on the streets that night. People everywhere, it was almost intimidating. None the less forth I walked, my eyes searching the crowd for him.
They were shooting more fireworks into the air. Glittering and sparkling, they captivated the masses, and even managed to grab my attention for a split second.
"Looking for someone special?" a female voice piped up from beside me.
My gaze came back to this earth, and I looked in the direction the comment had come from. Sitting there in a booth was an girl, an amused smile painted across her face.
"Possibly," I replied. The grin on her face only widened. Humans could be such frightening creatures.
"I thought so!" she smiled, her soft brown eyes sparkling with excitement. "So many people fall in love here…it's so romantic!"
"Sure…okay…" I muttered. I had stopped paying attention to the human, and was instead examining the pieces of jewelry she had spread out on a velvet cloth. Necklaces, earrings, bracelets, all made out of delicate silver, most with small stones set in them.
A particular necklace caught my eye.
It was a thin chain, with, unlike many of the other trinkets, no stone set into it. Instead there was a small glass bottle attached to it, filled with some sort of dust.
"What's this?" I asked. She shook herself from her fantasy world and looked at the necklace.
"Oh, that?" That smile of hers was beginning to become slightly irritating. "It's silver, like everything else here. And the little bottle is filled with ashes from the firecrackers."
I gave her a skeptical look. She ignored me and kept on talking.
"The fireworks here are famous, people say that their ashes are a sign of a burning love. Oh, wow, I think that's the last one, too! Gee, those things go really fast…"
I looked down at it…perfect.
I reached into my jacket pocket, hoping I had remembered to bring some money with me. Luckily I had.
The girl gladly accepted the coins and put them away in a small metal box, muttering something about 'O-KA-NE,' then proceeded to wrap the necklace up in a velvet box. And after I had promised myself I wouldn't buy anything...
"I hope you have good luck with your love!" she smiled as she handed it to me. I simply shook my head and walked off. Humans were such strange creatures, indeed.
*
"Oniisan…" Ari tugged at my sleeve and looked at me sleepily. "I…think I'm getting…sleepy. Can we go home now?"
"Sure," I smiled, turning and shaking Mila awake. "Hey…wake up…you don't want to get left behind."
"Hm?" She blinked sleepily and gave me a soft punch. "You wouldn't do that…"
"I don't know, I just might have," I grinned as we stood and turned home.
The streets were still crowded, even at this late hour. It was amazing.
I looked around. Some people looked like they were drunk, others seemed just to excited to turn home, and then…
Then, standing there, looking at me, was Kharl-sama.
I stopped for a moment.
"Mila…you can go home without me…there's still something I want to see," I muttered softly, pressing Ari's hand into hers.
"Okay…just don't come back too late or I'll have to do something mean to you," she replied. I nodded.
They kept walking. I, on the other hand, had turned in the opposite direction and began walking towards him.
*
"A little late, aren't you?"
There, standing before me, hands on his hips, was Garfakcy. He glared at me irately, just like he always used to do.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"Exactly what I said," he replied, his expression softening slightly as he yawned. "It's kinda late and…unlike you, us humans need sleep."
I smiled. It was an embarrassed smile, to be sure, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Sorry about that…"
"It's okay. I think I could live."
"That's good to hear. You don't know how crushed I would be if you died."
We both laughed, slowly pacing down the emptying streets. We laughed, but I knew it was true.
I couldn't live without him.
The fireworks still lit the skies, yet some of the booths were beginning to lock up. It must truly have been late.
"Garfakcy?" I stopped and looked at him.
"Hm?"
I stopped. The words were all choked up inside of me. I swallowed, unsure of what to say, what to do next. I could feel my heart pounding, as slowly, I wrapped my arms around him.
"It's been so long…"
*
"I know…" I barely managed to stammer. Somewhere behind me, he sniffled and pulled me closer, as if I were a stuffed bear. I could feel the lukewarm droplets that were his tears splash onto my neck, wrenching something violently inside of my heart.
He had never cried in front of me. Never. Feeling, seeing, hearing him weep simply broke my heart.
"Tell me…tell me why you never came back…"
I stiffened and took in a quick breath. Why didn't I come back…why?
Quickly my shackles tightened around me as once again I lost control.
Don't tell him…not yet. Don't gamble away all you have here.
I was so weak.
I gave in.
"I-I don't know…I don't know." I muttered. "I guess I found something here…"
"But what?" he pried, refusing to let me go.
I shivered, uncertainty brimming over inside of me.
Just tell him…tell him… something inside of me urged. I was too weak to fight it.
Slowly, reluctantly, I pulled away and turned to face him, holding my left hand out in plain sight.
*
I could have begged him not to go, begged him to let me hold him like this forever.
But I didn't. Instead, as he pushed me away, gently released him. Only to wish I hadn't at all.
Somehow, my hand found its way into my pocket, gently holding the box, wondering when I would get the chance to give it to him.
He turned and looked at me, precious emerald eyes sparkling with sorry, pained tears and stern solemnity. He held out his hand and gave a deep sigh.
"I'm so sorry, Kharl-sama…"
At first I couldn't see what he was apologizing for.
But then, then more firecrackers shot into the air, bathing the ground in a beautiful golden light.
And there, glittering on his finger, was a ring.
To be continued...
*
On the next chapter: Angst self mutilation, a sappy scene, and the real truth...
Author's Note: Heh, heh, guess who the random girl was!
"Ooo, oniisan, look!"
Ari tugged on my hand as he bounced excitedly back and forth, pointing up at the sky.
Firecrackers had begun to shoot up into the air, exploding and scattering hundreds of colored embers across the night sky, bathing the street below in a rainbow of different colors. Ari was ecstatic, Mila just smiled. As for me, I found my thoughts drifting once more.
The smell of ashes was so familiar.
"Ari, don't you dare let go of Kaitin's hand," Mila warned, watching him bounce back and forth with excitement. "If you get lost, I'll kill you."
"I won't…" he replied half-heartedly, his gaze still fixed on the skies above.
Subconsciously I clasped his hand, but really, I had closed my eyes. Closed my eyes and tried to remember everything. The heat. The feeling of magic surrounding my body. Kharl-sama always there when I returned, smiling that care free smile he always wore. My heart melting, my pulse quickening, I told him whatever he needed to hear. And he would smile again. And I would blush and try to hide it.
"I'm hungry, can we go get something to eat now, huh?"
Children truly had the attention span of a flea.
"Of course," Mila smiled, and I nodded in agreement. And so we found a stand selling roast corn and chicken and bought some.
The night rolled on; games, food, the fireworks. People laughed, smiled. I laughed and smiled along with the rest of them. But somewhere deep inside of me, I couldn't understand why. Why was I lying on the outside? Smiles, laughter, they all meant happiness…a happiness I hadn't felt in a long long time.
"Kharl-sama…"
The energy people had possessed earlier in the night had faded, and many, including myself, soon found themselves simply sitting in the grassy fields watching the fireworks.
They were amazing. And amazingly loud, but somehow, my attention wasn't focused on the light show in the sky.
Somewhere in the distance, I could see fireflies. They had come with the summer. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. They looked like water lights, or maybe faeries.
"I wonder if he ever finished Left Beast…"
"Kaitin?"
I shook myself out of my trance and looked up. Mila was there, looking back at me and smiling. "Hm?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"Ah…nothing. Nothing really." I never realized how badly you could lie with so little words. "Just dazed, I guess."
I was lying. I was lying so much.
My gaze slowly passed from her deep blue eyes to Ari's sleeping figure curled up between us, then back again.
All of this. All of this was a lie.
"What in the name of…?" I rubbed my eyes and slowly walked to the window. Where in the hell did all this noise come from? I was alone in this room, and yet sounds of every kind imaginable filled my ears. Footsteps, people, crashes, laughter, crickets, fireworks.
Looking down at the street below, I quickly remembered.
The festival. I chuckled and shook my head. I never could remember anything. Somehow, I knew Garfakcy would have a fit if he found out I had almost forgotten.
Heading for the door, I put on a light jacket and a pulled a hat on to cover my ears. There weren't many humans out there who took kindly to youkai in these days.
Not like they ever had in the first place.
There were so many people out on the streets that night. People everywhere, it was almost intimidating. None the less forth I walked, my eyes searching the crowd for him.
They were shooting more fireworks into the air. Glittering and sparkling, they captivated the masses, and even managed to grab my attention for a split second.
"Looking for someone special?" a female voice piped up from beside me.
My gaze came back to this earth, and I looked in the direction the comment had come from. Sitting there in a booth was an girl, an amused smile painted across her face.
"Possibly," I replied. The grin on her face only widened. Humans could be such frightening creatures.
"I thought so!" she smiled, her soft brown eyes sparkling with excitement. "So many people fall in love here…it's so romantic!"
"Sure…okay…" I muttered. I had stopped paying attention to the human, and was instead examining the pieces of jewelry she had spread out on a velvet cloth. Necklaces, earrings, bracelets, all made out of delicate silver, most with small stones set in them.
A particular necklace caught my eye.
It was a thin chain, with, unlike many of the other trinkets, no stone set into it. Instead there was a small glass bottle attached to it, filled with some sort of dust.
"What's this?" I asked. She shook herself from her fantasy world and looked at the necklace.
"Oh, that?" That smile of hers was beginning to become slightly irritating. "It's silver, like everything else here. And the little bottle is filled with ashes from the firecrackers."
I gave her a skeptical look. She ignored me and kept on talking.
"The fireworks here are famous, people say that their ashes are a sign of a burning love. Oh, wow, I think that's the last one, too! Gee, those things go really fast…"
I looked down at it…perfect.
I reached into my jacket pocket, hoping I had remembered to bring some money with me. Luckily I had.
The girl gladly accepted the coins and put them away in a small metal box, muttering something about 'O-KA-NE,' then proceeded to wrap the necklace up in a velvet box. And after I had promised myself I wouldn't buy anything...
"I hope you have good luck with your love!" she smiled as she handed it to me. I simply shook my head and walked off. Humans were such strange creatures, indeed.
"Oniisan…" Ari tugged at my sleeve and looked at me sleepily. "I…think I'm getting…sleepy. Can we go home now?"
"Sure," I smiled, turning and shaking Mila awake. "Hey…wake up…you don't want to get left behind."
"Hm?" She blinked sleepily and gave me a soft punch. "You wouldn't do that…"
"I don't know, I just might have," I grinned as we stood and turned home.
The streets were still crowded, even at this late hour. It was amazing.
I looked around. Some people looked like they were drunk, others seemed just to excited to turn home, and then…
Then, standing there, looking at me, was Kharl-sama.
I stopped for a moment.
"Mila…you can go home without me…there's still something I want to see," I muttered softly, pressing Ari's hand into hers.
"Okay…just don't come back too late or I'll have to do something mean to you," she replied. I nodded.
They kept walking. I, on the other hand, had turned in the opposite direction and began walking towards him.
"A little late, aren't you?"
There, standing before me, hands on his hips, was Garfakcy. He glared at me irately, just like he always used to do.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"Exactly what I said," he replied, his expression softening slightly as he yawned. "It's kinda late and…unlike you, us humans need sleep."
I smiled. It was an embarrassed smile, to be sure, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Sorry about that…"
"It's okay. I think I could live."
"That's good to hear. You don't know how crushed I would be if you died."
We both laughed, slowly pacing down the emptying streets. We laughed, but I knew it was true.
I couldn't live without him.
The fireworks still lit the skies, yet some of the booths were beginning to lock up. It must truly have been late.
"Garfakcy?" I stopped and looked at him.
"Hm?"
I stopped. The words were all choked up inside of me. I swallowed, unsure of what to say, what to do next. I could feel my heart pounding, as slowly, I wrapped my arms around him.
"It's been so long…"
"I know…" I barely managed to stammer. Somewhere behind me, he sniffled and pulled me closer, as if I were a stuffed bear. I could feel the lukewarm droplets that were his tears splash onto my neck, wrenching something violently inside of my heart.
He had never cried in front of me. Never. Feeling, seeing, hearing him weep simply broke my heart.
"Tell me…tell me why you never came back…"
I stiffened and took in a quick breath. Why didn't I come back…why?
Quickly my shackles tightened around me as once again I lost control.
Don't tell him…not yet. Don't gamble away all you have here.
I was so weak.
I gave in.
"I-I don't know…I don't know." I muttered. "I guess I found something here…"
"But what?" he pried, refusing to let me go.
I shivered, uncertainty brimming over inside of me.
Just tell him…tell him… something inside of me urged. I was too weak to fight it.
Slowly, reluctantly, I pulled away and turned to face him, holding my left hand out in plain sight.
I could have begged him not to go, begged him to let me hold him like this forever.
But I didn't. Instead, as he pushed me away, gently released him. Only to wish I hadn't at all.
Somehow, my hand found its way into my pocket, gently holding the box, wondering when I would get the chance to give it to him.
He turned and looked at me, precious emerald eyes sparkling with sorry, pained tears and stern solemnity. He held out his hand and gave a deep sigh.
"I'm so sorry, Kharl-sama…"
At first I couldn't see what he was apologizing for.
But then, then more firecrackers shot into the air, bathing the ground in a beautiful golden light.
And there, glittering on his finger, was a ring.
To be continued...
On the next chapter: Angst self mutilation, a sappy scene, and the real truth...
Author's Note: Heh, heh, guess who the random girl was!