Disclaimer: No infringement of copyright is intended. You know the drill,
anyone appearing on or mentioned on Hercules: The Legendary Journey's
and/or Xena: Warrior Princess are Renaissance Pictures. The Greek Mythos,
eh, must fend for itself, I guess.
________________________________________________________
Aphrodite's Ditty
by Eris © 1997 -- Al rights reserved.
Flighty Aphrodite, Goddess of Amore,
weary of her pleasure trip, now finds love a bore.
"Solving mortal love problems, is like, so old hat,
I'm off to find a diff'rent gig 'cause 'da love game's left me flat."
"Goddess of Music. Now that ROCKS! Jammin' with my lyre,
at every festival I'll take requests and set this berg on fire.
Driving beats ... steamy bodies ... dancing all night long...
Oopsie, bummer, I forgot -- I can only play one song.
"Oh well, I'll take up fishing or hunting for wild game;
for Artemis it's cathartic and really lights her flame.
Living in the forest to her seems quite the gas,
with all the bugs and slimy things... Yeah right, I think I'll pass.
"Maybe I'll try the scholar thing, for Athena it does the trick.
But all those musty scrolls and books, it's enough to make you sick.
The hours spent in study, calculation and debate,
you'd need your head examined to think *this* life was great.
"Then there's my brother Hercules a hero through and through
Traveling round the countryside helping folks without a clue.
For this gig I'd need a sidekick and a neato pair o' pants,
and with weapons from Hephaestus I'd perfect my warrior stance.
"Saving mortals, bustin' heads, and kickin' warlord booty...
Wait a sec, I might chip a nail and what if my outfit gets dirty?
I'm so not prepared to sweat it out or be forever covered in goo!
Ooooh, this is harder than I thought, what's a poor Goddess to do?
[Iolaus]
---"Aphrodite, please! Be the Goddess of Love.
---It suits you to a tee; it fits you like a glove.
---No other God I know can do this task so well;
---Can mend a broken heart or ring another's bell.
---"So stop pretending to be someone that you're not.
---Your job's way too important and don't say, 'Hee hee, uh, like, I
forgot.'
---If that's not enough to open yer eyes, how're these for examples?
---No more finery. No more presents. And no - more - temples!
"Bummer. I gotta hand it to ya' Curly, you can really sling the stuff,
Okay, Goddess of Love I be again, coz enough is quite enough.
Let my sisters keep their duties and 'lil bro can keep his -- you.
'sides all those jobs were way too grody and the perks were way too few.
I need to be pampered and fauned over. After all I'm a delicate flower.
Presents! Flattery! Come on, mortals, don't make this gorgeous face glower!
Yes, this is much more like it! Lookit the offerings galore!
Baubles, perfumes, silks and -- ew, gross! The fish, I like, totally abhor.
anyone appearing on or mentioned on Hercules: The Legendary Journey's
and/or Xena: Warrior Princess are Renaissance Pictures. The Greek Mythos,
eh, must fend for itself, I guess.
________________________________________________________
Aphrodite's Ditty
by Eris © 1997 -- Al rights reserved.
Flighty Aphrodite, Goddess of Amore,
weary of her pleasure trip, now finds love a bore.
"Solving mortal love problems, is like, so old hat,
I'm off to find a diff'rent gig 'cause 'da love game's left me flat."
"Goddess of Music. Now that ROCKS! Jammin' with my lyre,
at every festival I'll take requests and set this berg on fire.
Driving beats ... steamy bodies ... dancing all night long...
Oopsie, bummer, I forgot -- I can only play one song.
"Oh well, I'll take up fishing or hunting for wild game;
for Artemis it's cathartic and really lights her flame.
Living in the forest to her seems quite the gas,
with all the bugs and slimy things... Yeah right, I think I'll pass.
"Maybe I'll try the scholar thing, for Athena it does the trick.
But all those musty scrolls and books, it's enough to make you sick.
The hours spent in study, calculation and debate,
you'd need your head examined to think *this* life was great.
"Then there's my brother Hercules a hero through and through
Traveling round the countryside helping folks without a clue.
For this gig I'd need a sidekick and a neato pair o' pants,
and with weapons from Hephaestus I'd perfect my warrior stance.
"Saving mortals, bustin' heads, and kickin' warlord booty...
Wait a sec, I might chip a nail and what if my outfit gets dirty?
I'm so not prepared to sweat it out or be forever covered in goo!
Ooooh, this is harder than I thought, what's a poor Goddess to do?
[Iolaus]
---"Aphrodite, please! Be the Goddess of Love.
---It suits you to a tee; it fits you like a glove.
---No other God I know can do this task so well;
---Can mend a broken heart or ring another's bell.
---"So stop pretending to be someone that you're not.
---Your job's way too important and don't say, 'Hee hee, uh, like, I
forgot.'
---If that's not enough to open yer eyes, how're these for examples?
---No more finery. No more presents. And no - more - temples!
"Bummer. I gotta hand it to ya' Curly, you can really sling the stuff,
Okay, Goddess of Love I be again, coz enough is quite enough.
Let my sisters keep their duties and 'lil bro can keep his -- you.
'sides all those jobs were way too grody and the perks were way too few.
I need to be pampered and fauned over. After all I'm a delicate flower.
Presents! Flattery! Come on, mortals, don't make this gorgeous face glower!
Yes, this is much more like it! Lookit the offerings galore!
Baubles, perfumes, silks and -- ew, gross! The fish, I like, totally abhor.