A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far - it really helps to know that someone's reading this!

Cheers,

Apteryx.

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Chapter 9: Checks and Balances.

Peter stretched and yawned. He was feeling very relaxed, and that was almost a novelty. He looked out the kitchen window; it was dark out now, but the rain had stopped. Erica would probably be back soon; he'd noticed earlier that the bathroom window was open and the Spidey outfit gone. He looked around the lounge as he put the kettle on - Erica's backpack was gone too. Good, she'd probably come in again through the front door. He lightly wondered where she had gone, but he was in a good mood, and didn't spend long thinking about Erica - she could look after herself now. He carried a cup of coffee over to Mary-Jane, who was sitting on one of the chairs. He sat in the other and looked at her over the table.

"Where're you staying tonight?" he asked her.

"Oh, the normal. The Royalton."

"Where they treat you like royalty, I bet."

Mary-Jane set her coffee on top of Erica's abandoned book and groaned at the lame joke. She tapped the cover of the book with a long pale pink fingernail. "A little light reading you've set your pupil Mr Parker."

Peter watched the dimples appear, and smiled easily in return. "I hope she's learning it all - there'll be a test on the subject at the end of the semester. Name NYC's top ten tourist traps…"

"Name NYC's top ten places to be seen …"

"NYC's top ten exclusive areas…"

"NYC's top ten overrated restaurants."

"Which reminds me - where do you want to eat tonight? We'll all go out if Erica's back within the half hour; otherwise I'll leave a note, and it'll be just us two." Peter sort of hoped Erica would be late…

Half an hour later, there was still no sign of Erica. Peter supposed she was web-slinging her way around east Midtown, trying to flush out 'Ray-Man' as they had planned to anyway - he'd know soon enough if she succeeded. He grabbed a pencil and paper and scribbled a note for Erica and left it on the table.

Just before he and Mary-Jane left the apartment, he surreptitiously slipped some cash under the note - he didn't want Erica to be without the means to go out herself for dinner if she felt like it. He helped Mary-Jane on with her jacket, and locked the apartment door behind them.

………………………………………………

Smiling to himself, Peter pushed open the doors on the elevator. He'd had a very pleasant evening out with Mary-Jane. It was like dating all over again. They had gone to the Zen Palate; Peter knew Mary-Jane enjoyed it there - the minimalist décor and the excellent food. The bill wasn't excessive at the end either, which was a plus as far as Peter was concerned, although Mary-Jane insisted on paying. Peter paid the tip. He then helped Mary-Jane into a cab back to her hotel. "I hope I'll see you again soon," he murmured, "I can't begin to tell you what seeing you has done for me…"

"Don't leave it so long before you call me next time, Tiger," MJ replied, as she began to shut the door, "Talk to you later." The door closed and the cab drove off. Peter stood and watched it disappear down the street.

"I love you," he whispered after it.

Peter unlocked his apartment door and let himself in. The apartment was all in shadow; it was late. He shut the door behind him quietly, as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He could just make out a dark figure huddled by the couch.

Erica!

Peter had virtually forgot about her during the evening. Then he realised she was shaking. He almost ran over to her, put his arm out towards her scrunched up form.

"Erica," he said softly, "Are you all right?"

She shuddered and slowly lifted her head to look at Peter. Her lip and one eye were swollen, her eye a darker shadow in her face. He then noticed that she was still in the Spider-Man costume, though she had removed the mask. She took a couple of deep breaths, so deep she was almost hyperventilating.

"I can't do it," she said hoarsely, shakily. "I can't…won't…"

"What's the matter? Are you hurt? What happened?" asked Peter, becoming alarmed.

He reached over the back of the couch for the blanket, wrapped it around Erica, and crouched down by her, one arm protectively around her. She was obviously in shock, but she put her head in her hands and made a visible effort to calm herself.

After a few moments, she took her hands away and looked at Peter again.

"I'm not hurt really, only bruised - it's nothing, they'll heal," she said. "I'm sorry… I thought I could cope with being Spider-Man, but you were right: it's too risky."

"Why? What happened? It's all right now, tell me."

"My first big fight and I blew it… Oh, I won," Erica hurriedly said, seeing the look on Peter's face, "Your reputation's the same as ever, but… beating people up, hurting them like that… Pete, I can't cope with that, can't live with it. I know I'm helping, stopping someone being a victim, but…"

Hanging his head for a moment, Peter took his arm away from Erica's back, then held both her hands between his and looked straight into her eyes. "I'm probably the only one who can understand what you're going through. I… had to find a defence mechanism myself to deal with some of the things that happened when I started as Spider-Man." He paused. "You know how I got my powers? Then what happened to make me become Spider-Man?" Erica nodded.

"When I began fighting crime, it got to a point when all I saw was crime everywhere. I couldn't see any good in people - they were all possible criminals - and the bad publicity I got as well didn't help. I had real doubts as to why I was doing it, and I realised I had to snap out of it, get some perspective or something. Well, that's when I began to assert my sense of humour - you know, all the wisecracking. It helps."

Erica was silent, listening, thinking. Peter continued, "Humour may not be your way of coping; though you were pretty good at it last night - you might have been Spider-Man!" Erica gave Peter the barest smile. "Whatever your way, I'm sure you'll do just fine. You really have been thrown in the deep end with all this, much more than I ever was. I'm real amazed that you've been holding up as well as you have." Peter gave Erica's hands a squeeze and let them go. He stood up. "Hop onto the couch, and I'll make you a cup of tea. I promise to make you a decent one."

He flicked the switch to turn the light on, and blinking, gave Erica a brief look as he went into the kitchen - she appeared to be recovering from her shock. He'd get the details later. Not for the first time he wondered what most people thought it was like to be a super-hero: probably love the idea of having the superpowers, but no conception of the problems involved too. The moral and ethical dilemmas. Temptations. Nothing as black and white as you'd believe. Add all the personal crap into the mix as well… You had to believe you were doing good, making a difference, to survive.

Peter found his 'Don't Worry - Be Happy' mug that someone had given him as a joke, at the back of a cupboard - he brewed Erica's tea in it and added plenty of sugar even though he knew she didn't take it. He walked back to the couch and handed the mug to Erica. She had taken off the gloves and web-shooters now, and took the tea with her bare hands; she didn't even glance at the outside of the mug.

"Thanks." She gulped the hot tea down, blanket slipping off her shoulders.

"You should go have a shower, get changed," Peter told her as he cleaned up in the kitchen. He came and got her empty mug. "Go on," he urged her gently. He took the mug back to the kitchen, but when he turned it was to discover Erica standing in the middle of the lounge, all suited up once more.

"I'm going out again," she said.

"Are you sure you're up to it?"

She nodded, "I have to, if I'm ever going to. I feel better now. I think I know… I once had a game with my neighbour's boy on his Playstation - he beat the crap out of me, first time I'd played, but I remember how long it took me to get over how real the graphics were. Well, out there will be a hyper-real video game…" She swept her arm out, then posed in character as Spider-Man. "Watch out, here comes a Spider-Man!"

Peter eyed her dubiously, then relaxed, laughing. Spidey sprung for the window, clung to the wall next to it as she opened it, then waving to Peter, leapt out. Peter hoped she'd be O.K. Well, she certainly had determination - that was a typical Spidey trait.

He automatically schlepped around the lounge picking things up, tidying while thinking about earlier in the afternoon. He hadn't been able to settle down to anything in the apartment: he'd tried working out a list of possible alternative careers, but after jotting down a few ideas, ran out of impetuous. He grabbed his jacket and left the apartment. He'd go down to the library and do some reading there. Once there, he'd lost track of the time as he got interested in reading some of the latest scientific periodicals, his favourite ones; Scientific American, Nature, Trends in Biotechnology, and the online Bubble Chamber… He glanced at the big reading room clock as he closed the cover of Trends… Oops, now it was his turn to be late: Erica was locked out - worse than that, she was shut out too!

Peter grinned remembering his confusion unlocking his apartment door. And to see Mary-Jane… He sighed and folded up the blanket which had been left in a heap on the floor and placed it on the end of the couch. What a day. He yawned, time to hit the hay. He'll have to see what the morning would bring - Spider-Man or no.

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Next: Linking (part 1)