This is the second part, because it confuses me to put it under a new
title. I'm not too happy with this chapter, but I hope you think it's
alright. Just a reminder for those who don't already know or assume: I
don't own Gundam Wing.
Part 2-Chapter 1:
Heero yawned as he made his way sleepily through the kitchen, illuminated by the light of the rising sun that came through the open window. He was toasting a couple pieces of the bread Duo had left on the counter with his note. Lazy eyes strayed down to the piece of paper below him, and he looked at Duo's rushed script for a second time with a slight smile.
Good morning,
Out on errands, be back soon.
I have some fresh bread, I'll leave it out.
I think there's butter in the fridge,
but you'd better check the expiration date.
Love, Duo
Heero chuckled to himself, as he took the freshly-toasted bread from the toaster, almost dropping it upon noticing how hot it was. He doubted if there even would be an expiration date. It's butter; butter can't spoil, can it, he asked himself as he opened the refrigerator. The butter looked fine, Heero thought as he spread it on one slice to try. Apparently, anything was possible; he realized as he bit into the toast and quickly dumped the rancid butter into the garbage. Or at least, Heero mused, anything was possible around Duo.
He grabbed the remaining, slightly burnt piece of toast in his right hand and bit into it as he sat down at the kitchen table. Pulling his laptop to face him, Heero flipped the screen up with ease, as he let the bread dangle from his mouth and began typing, stopping after a while to pull the bread from his teeth and chew. It would have been much more efficient and less distracting to have simply gotten a plate, but difference did it make, really, he thought. Heero didn't even notice how much the braided, enthusiastic teen had rubbed off on him in the past few days, but anyone who knew Heero before would have been absolutely astounded at the difference.
Looking into the screen, Heero looked over the now familiar file once again. He had spent almost all of the previous night looking it over, inscribing every line into his memory almost as if it had always been there.
Heero subconsciously smiled as he thought about the day before. He would have never thought Duo would love him back. He knew he had everything to loose, and still went ahead with telling Duo anyway, because it wasn't fair to Duo if he was hiding emotion. Heero had convinced himself yesterday that life only holds people back when people hold emotions back from life. The only way to live life was to act on your own emotions...Heero froze at the thought, and widened his eyes attentively as he stopped typing for a moment. Something seemed strangely familiar about that phrase, but quickly deciding that it was nothing, continued with his investigations.
Some of his thoughts, he realized while reading, were so cold sometimes. Just the things he had written made it seem that he never really had anyone to care for him or anyone to care for, and Duo easily had infatuated his every thought that wasn't about missions. Reading further, Heero noticed that his accounts were so based on fact and thought that there was barely any feeling at all, and what emotions he did show were still documented as if it was a report. Heero wondered just how scarce his emotions were before the accident, because now his heart felt so full, and it was hard to imagine otherwise.
Sensitive ears heard the fiddling of keys into the lock outside the apartment door, and Heero glanced over to the door, smiling. It was something he would have never done before he lost his memory, but something made him want to make Duo happy, and he knew that Duo liked it when he smiled. Of course, the smile wasn't forced, but Heero had to think to allow it to come, and accepted it willingly.
The door flew open, and Duo's hand busily let go of the keys, still inside the lock, so that he could pick up the bags he had to bring inside. It really was about time he went grocery shopping, but, of course, Duo probably wouldn't have taken the initiative for another couple of days had it not been for Heero. Duo really wouldn't mind all that much if he got sick from eating sweet pickles that tasted sour, but he would mind if Heero did.
It took Duo a moment to look up from the bags he brought in, and almost didn't notice Heero sitting so quietly, and smiling ever so faintly at the kitchen table. The violet eyes lit up immediately and a grin spread across his face as he started to unpack the food.
"How was breakfast?" Duo asked, looking hopefully at the Asian who was still deep in thought. Duo had gone out to shop for them, and he wasn't even pulling his weight around, not in chores, cooking, money, errands, and he realized that Duo wanted to take care of him, but Heero felt like he was imposing even more than before.
"Good."
It was no surprise to Duo that Heero wasn't being very talkative because it had always been that way in the past, and it took him a moment to remember that this was the Heero that had allowed him to discover his deepest secret, and if this Heero wasn't answering, something was definitely up.
"Hee-chan," Duo walked over to Heero with concern, "What's up?" He pulled a chair backwards, and crossing his arms over the top in a thoughtful position as he sat down. Heero looked up from the laptop quickly.
"Sorry, Duo," Heero feigned a smile, "Everything's fine." Duo looked curiously at the owner of a mess of dark, unbridled hair. He could tell everything was not fine.
"S'okay. You can tell me whenever you want, you know." Duo said thoughtfully as he made his way back out of the chair, and Heero nodded his head in thanks.
Duo didn't want to push this one, after all, he really had no idea what Heero had been going through. Trowa was the only other person Duo could think of who had gotten amnesia at one point or another, and luckily, he recovered. Heero's case was a little different, though. His brain had been so severely damaged in his memory that the doctors doubted anything would ever come back to him. Of course, Duo was willing, more than ever, to have Heero stay with him for as long possible. Who knows what would happen to them if his memory ever did come back, but he didn't want to think about that.
Duo kissed Heero lightly to break some of the tension that still hung in the room from Heero's insecurities about becoming a burden and started to put away a can of chicken soup in silence. This was a very quiet morning for Duo.
Usually, to keep him company, the dynamic teen had music blasting on his stereo, and then an fuming Mr. Wilkinson from next-door would knock on his door, howling about 'blasted young'ins' and their 'infernal rock music'. The neighbors would always find something to complain about. Duo smirked. Mr. Wilkinson would probably come knocking on his door this morning to complain that he was being much too quiet and therefore, was up to no good. Well, actually, this accusation would most likely have been true any other day, but the awkward mix of emotion left Duo's apartment dissonantly quiet.
"What do you want to do today?" Duo broke the silence as Heero was finishing the last bit of his burnt, butter-less toast. He didn't seem to mind it.
"What did you have in mind?" Heero responded quickly.
"I was wondering if you wanted any, well, new clothes," Duo looked Heero over. He was wearing the usual spandex shorts, green tank top, ugly yellow sneakers, and those were really all the clothes that Sally found in Heero's possession, aside from a single pair of jeans and a suit that he used working with the preventers. Duo still held himself steadfast to the belief that Heero seriously needed a new wardrobe.
"What's wrong with my clothes?" Heero looked puzzled. Something such as clothing did not seem to be a priority.
"Nothing, Hee-chan, you look good in anything," Duo winked as Heero blushed, "But you might want something a little different, you know, just so that you don't feel like you're wearing someone else's clothes. . ." Duo shrugged, he figured that was how he'd feel if put in the situation, and Heero understood exactly what he was saying. He hadn't considered how he might feel with things that he actually felt were 'his'. It seemed like a good idea.
"That sounds fine," Heero said. Duo lit up with joy. He could think of at least ten different outfits on Heero that would make any
"But Duo?"
"Yeah?"
"I can't pay for all this, I don't think."
"You're right. Working for the preventers doesn't bring in much, does it? My guess is that you got most of your money by hacking into rich guys' accounts and stealing their credit card numbers, because you always seemed to have a little too much money on your hands," The voluble man stopped to laugh a little, "Don't worry, it's my treat."
"You're part of the preventers, too, Duo." Heero raised an eyebrow in question.
"Eh, I keep my day job." Duo said casually, grinning at the light humor. Heero remained confused, and Duo stopped what he was doing to look at an adorable face the Asian was making. "That's a joke, Hee-chan." Duo stated, but Heero's face remained the same, and Duo chuckled lovingly as he went back to putting the groceries away.
"I can't allow you to spend your money on me," Heero said quite seriously. Duo knew that Heero had always been this selfless, but he would try to hide it, for a reason that Duo did not know. It probably was considered a 'weakness' to him, but what wasn't. Emotions are, indefinitely, a weakness, but only because they can also be the greatest of strengths.
"Why not? It'll be a present!" Duo beamed at the idea.
"Why would you give me a present? I don't need anything, not really. . ."
Duo shrugged, "Maybe not, but there's always a reason to celebrate. . ." He thought a second, "Happy birthday, Heero!"
An identity had to start somewhere, Duo knew; what better way then to start with a birthday?
"It's my birthday?" Heero asked innocently, eyes widening hopefully. It looked very childish to Duo, but probably only because he wasn't used to Heero acting this way. Heero blinked a couple of times before actually processing the information. "Today?"
"Why not?"
Heero looked at him strangely, "You don't know my birthday?"
"Sure, I do. I just found out. It's today." Duo smirked happily.
"Hn?" It was very hard to argue with Duo, especially in the shocked state that Heero was currently in. It didn't even leave him the able of his already challenged verbal skills. Now, he had gone back the 'Hn's'. It was never a good sign. Duo had definitely won this one.
"Good, it's decided. We're going birthday shopping!" Duo turned back to the bags decisively. Duo looked back quickly as he saw a taciturn Heero, looking thoughtfully out the window. He rummaged through the paper bags, "Now, where did the cookies go. . . ?"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It didn't take them long to find a parking spot around the local mall, seeing as how it just opened. Duo wanted to beat the crowds. He got excitedly out of his car, waiting for a perfectly calm Heero to exit as well. Heero didn't know any better than to be so composed, while another person (knowing Duo well) would have politely turned down (or run away screaming at) the offer of shopping with him.
A bouncy Duo in his favorite black leather jacket tugged on Heero's arm playfully.
"Come on, Hee-chan, I know the perfect store for you!" Heero let Duo lead the way around the spacious halls until they came to the place Duo had mentioned. It didn't seem like anything special. They went inside and Duo encouraged Heero to pick out whatever he wanted and ten minutes later. . .
"Geez, Heero, would you pick something already? We haven't even hit the dressing rooms yet. Do you want my help, because I do have experience, and I promise I won't make you wear anything black. . . well, not much, anyway. . ." Duo continued with his wandering thoughts, but was interrupted by Heero, who emerged from the clothing racks with a green tank top in one hand, and a pair of spandex shorts in the other, raising one eyebrow, almost as much in awe of his choice as Duo was.
Duo buried a hand in his forehead, expressing clearly how hopeless he thought Heero was, "Do you really want these clothes?"
Heero shook his head expressively 'no' as Duo took his boyfriend's choice clothing back on the rack. Heero really never had any sense of fashion to begin with, but he'd already guessed that, and was very glad to help. Within thirty seconds, Duo was back, carrying a pair of black pants and a loose blue long-sleeved shirt. Basic, true, but Heero was a basic kind of guy, and Duo didn't want him to feel awkward. Besides, the blue would bring out the color in his eyes.
Heero didn't have any objections to the outfit when he tried it on, and Duo was thrilled to see Heero in something normal. They quickly made the purchase. Heero was glad, and finally felt he had something was truly his.
"Thanks for the birthday present, Duo," Heero smiled, still feeling a little out-of-place, but more fitting than he had before as he got in passenger seat of the car. Duo kissed Heero rather randomly just then, and Heero blushed and looked out the window to see if someone had been watching. There was no one, and he delicately accepted a second, letting untamed emotions run up his spine as he looked into violet eyes.
"You're welcome. Happy birthday, Hee-koi." Duo said gently and started up the car, making their way back to the house, but Heero couldn't help but notice that there was something sad about Duo during the car ride. He hardly said anything at all.
The truth was, he was thinking about Heero. He was so innocent, so free, but sooner or later, he'd have to tell Heero about how things were, how many people they killed. Heero already knew some, but it wasn't enough. The preventers had given Duo this job for a reason, and Sally knew it, too. Heero needed to remember death more than anything, or else peace would mean nothing to him, as it was taken for granted by almost everyone else. The old Heero would want Duo to make him understand, but somehow, Duo didn't feel right about it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Heero's thoughts as they got home were everywhere but on the clothes along with the rest of his 'birthday'. Something was always going to be kept hidden from him. There was always going to be something that he didn't know, because he couldn't remember his past. What could have happened that made Duo act this way? Heero knew Duo loved him. It was in every word that Duo said, the way he moved, and the way he listened and looked at him when Heero had something to say. And yet, every smile that wasn't a smile towards him, Heero found looked almost fake, like something on the face of someone in an ordinary painting, nothing special. The action was there, but the emotion wasn't.
Heero wanted to help. He wanted to sit down with Duo and tell him everything was okay, but he wouldn't know how to start. He hadn't been through any of the things Duo had, well, at least he didn't remember. The only thing that made him want to remember was Duo. Heero wanted Duo to be happy, but he couldn't help, and it was killing him to see Duo that way. . . He would do anything to stop that pained look in beautiful violet eyes.
"Why did they ask you to take care of me?" Duo looked back at the face that asked the question. He was taken aback.
"You've always been a major player on the team, Heero, and everyone needs you; not only as a co-worker, but as a friend. You've got a lot of friends, Heero, as much as you may have liked to think you didn't, you do. None of us want to see you like this."
Heero nodded submissively. It was true. He had seen that he did indeed have friends, and even someone to love, but that still didn't answer his question.
"There must be something specific they wanted you to tell me, though, so that I would be able to work effectively again." Heero pressed on, and Duo sighed, it was going to come to this at one point or another, and Heero's perception of the situation was more acute than any of them had expected it to be after the trauma of loosing all of his memory.
"Working with the preventers wouldn't mean as much as it does to the rest of us if you don't remember going through it. All the pain and the horrors of war; I suppose that's what they wanted me to tell you. . . But as much as I care about my job, I care about you a hell of a lot more about you. No one deserves those memories." Duo clenched his fists in a moment of frustration, "Especially not you."
Heero watched on as Duo told all this to him, pacing the room nervously, and twisting the end of his braid around a forefinger in apprehension, same violet eyes trembled with pain. Heero saw that Duo needed him, and wanted to help, so he quickly came up to a tense Duo, placing one arm lightly around him.
"I had those memories once, I can deal with them again, I'm sure," Heero looked up at his love hopefully, pulling Duo closer.
Duo looked at Heero, eyes brimming with tears, but smiled at the action, even though the perfect soldier wouldn't understand. . . How could he possibly understand if he couldn't remember. . . ?
Scenes of death and destruction and Sister Helen and everyone who had died because of him flashed through Duo's head. It made him tremble with sadness. He wished he could do it all over again. Maybe none of it would have happened. Duo leaned his head on Heero's shoulder, and tried to forget.
Heero didn't remember ever being acquainted with death, but he still had his arms clasped tightly around Duo, bringing violet eyes comfort in the memory of pain. One would think Heero would be the one crying, but he had no reason, and yet, seeing Duo doubled over in the misery of his memories, Heero wished that he could cry. But the tears wouldn't come.
Duo broke from tears as he felt the warmth of Heero hugging him. He realized once and for all that he didn't love Heero for the memories they once shared, but for who Heero was; everything about him. And Heero loved him back.
Duo cried in sadness, and Duo cried in joy, but the two were never defined in the moment Heero held him in his arms.
***************************
Thanks to Reviewers:
Jeysien: Yeah, I know, I'm a complete sap for a happy ending. I defiantly agree that there must be pain before true joy, which justifies that last chapter, I think. *smiles*
Fei: Glad you like it, but now they're back to the beginning again, with lots of problems, so this part should get interesting. *winks*
KawaiiAngel4: Thank you! I'm really happy you like it.
Firefox: hehehe, we do have similar names, don't we. . .eh, *shrugs* I always seem to pick the name that everyone has, unintentionally of course. Oh, well, they're cool names anyway! Glad you like the story.
SoulSister: Yeah, I got a little teary-eyed, too. I was really tired of the 'keeping secrets' thing, then, but as you can see, I've gone back in this chapter. Thanks so much.
Eternal-Sleeper: Thank you! *grins* I hope you liked this chapter. I really shouldn't have candy either. . . and I make sure not to have any before writing. You really don't want to see the results. . . (lol)
Lillie chan: Yay! *claps hands excitedly* it worked. Thanks.
Samptra: Thanks for your support. I hope you liked this chapter.
Diane: I had been thinking about three phases before, but there's only so much I can do with Heero's memory loss. I was eager to include Heero and getting his memory back in this phase, but I didn't want to give anything away for hopes of further tension and anxiety. I might be able to squeeze a third phase out of this, but it would be a stretch. I'll see what I can think of. Thanks for the thought. You're exactly right about my motive for having Heero let Duo read the entry. I didn't want to deal with Heero's anger at Duo, because it would have gotten too complicated when Heero gets his memory back. He's going to have enough to deal with. *smiles* Thanks for your review!
Hakumei: Thanks! I think I have the 'insane' part taken care of (lol). I'm so glad you liked it! I value your opinion, and I really like your story, 'Minuet in G'! ^-^
Tigerlily26: I know, it was really sappy. . . I wasn't so sure about it when I put it up, and after reading it through, I considered throwing it away and writing a new one, so I'm glad it wasn't as bad as I thought. Thanks!
**********************
^-^ Please Review.
I love reviews!
Thank you!
Part 2-Chapter 1:
Heero yawned as he made his way sleepily through the kitchen, illuminated by the light of the rising sun that came through the open window. He was toasting a couple pieces of the bread Duo had left on the counter with his note. Lazy eyes strayed down to the piece of paper below him, and he looked at Duo's rushed script for a second time with a slight smile.
Good morning,
Out on errands, be back soon.
I have some fresh bread, I'll leave it out.
I think there's butter in the fridge,
but you'd better check the expiration date.
Love, Duo
Heero chuckled to himself, as he took the freshly-toasted bread from the toaster, almost dropping it upon noticing how hot it was. He doubted if there even would be an expiration date. It's butter; butter can't spoil, can it, he asked himself as he opened the refrigerator. The butter looked fine, Heero thought as he spread it on one slice to try. Apparently, anything was possible; he realized as he bit into the toast and quickly dumped the rancid butter into the garbage. Or at least, Heero mused, anything was possible around Duo.
He grabbed the remaining, slightly burnt piece of toast in his right hand and bit into it as he sat down at the kitchen table. Pulling his laptop to face him, Heero flipped the screen up with ease, as he let the bread dangle from his mouth and began typing, stopping after a while to pull the bread from his teeth and chew. It would have been much more efficient and less distracting to have simply gotten a plate, but difference did it make, really, he thought. Heero didn't even notice how much the braided, enthusiastic teen had rubbed off on him in the past few days, but anyone who knew Heero before would have been absolutely astounded at the difference.
Looking into the screen, Heero looked over the now familiar file once again. He had spent almost all of the previous night looking it over, inscribing every line into his memory almost as if it had always been there.
Heero subconsciously smiled as he thought about the day before. He would have never thought Duo would love him back. He knew he had everything to loose, and still went ahead with telling Duo anyway, because it wasn't fair to Duo if he was hiding emotion. Heero had convinced himself yesterday that life only holds people back when people hold emotions back from life. The only way to live life was to act on your own emotions...Heero froze at the thought, and widened his eyes attentively as he stopped typing for a moment. Something seemed strangely familiar about that phrase, but quickly deciding that it was nothing, continued with his investigations.
Some of his thoughts, he realized while reading, were so cold sometimes. Just the things he had written made it seem that he never really had anyone to care for him or anyone to care for, and Duo easily had infatuated his every thought that wasn't about missions. Reading further, Heero noticed that his accounts were so based on fact and thought that there was barely any feeling at all, and what emotions he did show were still documented as if it was a report. Heero wondered just how scarce his emotions were before the accident, because now his heart felt so full, and it was hard to imagine otherwise.
Sensitive ears heard the fiddling of keys into the lock outside the apartment door, and Heero glanced over to the door, smiling. It was something he would have never done before he lost his memory, but something made him want to make Duo happy, and he knew that Duo liked it when he smiled. Of course, the smile wasn't forced, but Heero had to think to allow it to come, and accepted it willingly.
The door flew open, and Duo's hand busily let go of the keys, still inside the lock, so that he could pick up the bags he had to bring inside. It really was about time he went grocery shopping, but, of course, Duo probably wouldn't have taken the initiative for another couple of days had it not been for Heero. Duo really wouldn't mind all that much if he got sick from eating sweet pickles that tasted sour, but he would mind if Heero did.
It took Duo a moment to look up from the bags he brought in, and almost didn't notice Heero sitting so quietly, and smiling ever so faintly at the kitchen table. The violet eyes lit up immediately and a grin spread across his face as he started to unpack the food.
"How was breakfast?" Duo asked, looking hopefully at the Asian who was still deep in thought. Duo had gone out to shop for them, and he wasn't even pulling his weight around, not in chores, cooking, money, errands, and he realized that Duo wanted to take care of him, but Heero felt like he was imposing even more than before.
"Good."
It was no surprise to Duo that Heero wasn't being very talkative because it had always been that way in the past, and it took him a moment to remember that this was the Heero that had allowed him to discover his deepest secret, and if this Heero wasn't answering, something was definitely up.
"Hee-chan," Duo walked over to Heero with concern, "What's up?" He pulled a chair backwards, and crossing his arms over the top in a thoughtful position as he sat down. Heero looked up from the laptop quickly.
"Sorry, Duo," Heero feigned a smile, "Everything's fine." Duo looked curiously at the owner of a mess of dark, unbridled hair. He could tell everything was not fine.
"S'okay. You can tell me whenever you want, you know." Duo said thoughtfully as he made his way back out of the chair, and Heero nodded his head in thanks.
Duo didn't want to push this one, after all, he really had no idea what Heero had been going through. Trowa was the only other person Duo could think of who had gotten amnesia at one point or another, and luckily, he recovered. Heero's case was a little different, though. His brain had been so severely damaged in his memory that the doctors doubted anything would ever come back to him. Of course, Duo was willing, more than ever, to have Heero stay with him for as long possible. Who knows what would happen to them if his memory ever did come back, but he didn't want to think about that.
Duo kissed Heero lightly to break some of the tension that still hung in the room from Heero's insecurities about becoming a burden and started to put away a can of chicken soup in silence. This was a very quiet morning for Duo.
Usually, to keep him company, the dynamic teen had music blasting on his stereo, and then an fuming Mr. Wilkinson from next-door would knock on his door, howling about 'blasted young'ins' and their 'infernal rock music'. The neighbors would always find something to complain about. Duo smirked. Mr. Wilkinson would probably come knocking on his door this morning to complain that he was being much too quiet and therefore, was up to no good. Well, actually, this accusation would most likely have been true any other day, but the awkward mix of emotion left Duo's apartment dissonantly quiet.
"What do you want to do today?" Duo broke the silence as Heero was finishing the last bit of his burnt, butter-less toast. He didn't seem to mind it.
"What did you have in mind?" Heero responded quickly.
"I was wondering if you wanted any, well, new clothes," Duo looked Heero over. He was wearing the usual spandex shorts, green tank top, ugly yellow sneakers, and those were really all the clothes that Sally found in Heero's possession, aside from a single pair of jeans and a suit that he used working with the preventers. Duo still held himself steadfast to the belief that Heero seriously needed a new wardrobe.
"What's wrong with my clothes?" Heero looked puzzled. Something such as clothing did not seem to be a priority.
"Nothing, Hee-chan, you look good in anything," Duo winked as Heero blushed, "But you might want something a little different, you know, just so that you don't feel like you're wearing someone else's clothes. . ." Duo shrugged, he figured that was how he'd feel if put in the situation, and Heero understood exactly what he was saying. He hadn't considered how he might feel with things that he actually felt were 'his'. It seemed like a good idea.
"That sounds fine," Heero said. Duo lit up with joy. He could think of at least ten different outfits on Heero that would make any
"But Duo?"
"Yeah?"
"I can't pay for all this, I don't think."
"You're right. Working for the preventers doesn't bring in much, does it? My guess is that you got most of your money by hacking into rich guys' accounts and stealing their credit card numbers, because you always seemed to have a little too much money on your hands," The voluble man stopped to laugh a little, "Don't worry, it's my treat."
"You're part of the preventers, too, Duo." Heero raised an eyebrow in question.
"Eh, I keep my day job." Duo said casually, grinning at the light humor. Heero remained confused, and Duo stopped what he was doing to look at an adorable face the Asian was making. "That's a joke, Hee-chan." Duo stated, but Heero's face remained the same, and Duo chuckled lovingly as he went back to putting the groceries away.
"I can't allow you to spend your money on me," Heero said quite seriously. Duo knew that Heero had always been this selfless, but he would try to hide it, for a reason that Duo did not know. It probably was considered a 'weakness' to him, but what wasn't. Emotions are, indefinitely, a weakness, but only because they can also be the greatest of strengths.
"Why not? It'll be a present!" Duo beamed at the idea.
"Why would you give me a present? I don't need anything, not really. . ."
Duo shrugged, "Maybe not, but there's always a reason to celebrate. . ." He thought a second, "Happy birthday, Heero!"
An identity had to start somewhere, Duo knew; what better way then to start with a birthday?
"It's my birthday?" Heero asked innocently, eyes widening hopefully. It looked very childish to Duo, but probably only because he wasn't used to Heero acting this way. Heero blinked a couple of times before actually processing the information. "Today?"
"Why not?"
Heero looked at him strangely, "You don't know my birthday?"
"Sure, I do. I just found out. It's today." Duo smirked happily.
"Hn?" It was very hard to argue with Duo, especially in the shocked state that Heero was currently in. It didn't even leave him the able of his already challenged verbal skills. Now, he had gone back the 'Hn's'. It was never a good sign. Duo had definitely won this one.
"Good, it's decided. We're going birthday shopping!" Duo turned back to the bags decisively. Duo looked back quickly as he saw a taciturn Heero, looking thoughtfully out the window. He rummaged through the paper bags, "Now, where did the cookies go. . . ?"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It didn't take them long to find a parking spot around the local mall, seeing as how it just opened. Duo wanted to beat the crowds. He got excitedly out of his car, waiting for a perfectly calm Heero to exit as well. Heero didn't know any better than to be so composed, while another person (knowing Duo well) would have politely turned down (or run away screaming at) the offer of shopping with him.
A bouncy Duo in his favorite black leather jacket tugged on Heero's arm playfully.
"Come on, Hee-chan, I know the perfect store for you!" Heero let Duo lead the way around the spacious halls until they came to the place Duo had mentioned. It didn't seem like anything special. They went inside and Duo encouraged Heero to pick out whatever he wanted and ten minutes later. . .
"Geez, Heero, would you pick something already? We haven't even hit the dressing rooms yet. Do you want my help, because I do have experience, and I promise I won't make you wear anything black. . . well, not much, anyway. . ." Duo continued with his wandering thoughts, but was interrupted by Heero, who emerged from the clothing racks with a green tank top in one hand, and a pair of spandex shorts in the other, raising one eyebrow, almost as much in awe of his choice as Duo was.
Duo buried a hand in his forehead, expressing clearly how hopeless he thought Heero was, "Do you really want these clothes?"
Heero shook his head expressively 'no' as Duo took his boyfriend's choice clothing back on the rack. Heero really never had any sense of fashion to begin with, but he'd already guessed that, and was very glad to help. Within thirty seconds, Duo was back, carrying a pair of black pants and a loose blue long-sleeved shirt. Basic, true, but Heero was a basic kind of guy, and Duo didn't want him to feel awkward. Besides, the blue would bring out the color in his eyes.
Heero didn't have any objections to the outfit when he tried it on, and Duo was thrilled to see Heero in something normal. They quickly made the purchase. Heero was glad, and finally felt he had something was truly his.
"Thanks for the birthday present, Duo," Heero smiled, still feeling a little out-of-place, but more fitting than he had before as he got in passenger seat of the car. Duo kissed Heero rather randomly just then, and Heero blushed and looked out the window to see if someone had been watching. There was no one, and he delicately accepted a second, letting untamed emotions run up his spine as he looked into violet eyes.
"You're welcome. Happy birthday, Hee-koi." Duo said gently and started up the car, making their way back to the house, but Heero couldn't help but notice that there was something sad about Duo during the car ride. He hardly said anything at all.
The truth was, he was thinking about Heero. He was so innocent, so free, but sooner or later, he'd have to tell Heero about how things were, how many people they killed. Heero already knew some, but it wasn't enough. The preventers had given Duo this job for a reason, and Sally knew it, too. Heero needed to remember death more than anything, or else peace would mean nothing to him, as it was taken for granted by almost everyone else. The old Heero would want Duo to make him understand, but somehow, Duo didn't feel right about it. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Heero's thoughts as they got home were everywhere but on the clothes along with the rest of his 'birthday'. Something was always going to be kept hidden from him. There was always going to be something that he didn't know, because he couldn't remember his past. What could have happened that made Duo act this way? Heero knew Duo loved him. It was in every word that Duo said, the way he moved, and the way he listened and looked at him when Heero had something to say. And yet, every smile that wasn't a smile towards him, Heero found looked almost fake, like something on the face of someone in an ordinary painting, nothing special. The action was there, but the emotion wasn't.
Heero wanted to help. He wanted to sit down with Duo and tell him everything was okay, but he wouldn't know how to start. He hadn't been through any of the things Duo had, well, at least he didn't remember. The only thing that made him want to remember was Duo. Heero wanted Duo to be happy, but he couldn't help, and it was killing him to see Duo that way. . . He would do anything to stop that pained look in beautiful violet eyes.
"Why did they ask you to take care of me?" Duo looked back at the face that asked the question. He was taken aback.
"You've always been a major player on the team, Heero, and everyone needs you; not only as a co-worker, but as a friend. You've got a lot of friends, Heero, as much as you may have liked to think you didn't, you do. None of us want to see you like this."
Heero nodded submissively. It was true. He had seen that he did indeed have friends, and even someone to love, but that still didn't answer his question.
"There must be something specific they wanted you to tell me, though, so that I would be able to work effectively again." Heero pressed on, and Duo sighed, it was going to come to this at one point or another, and Heero's perception of the situation was more acute than any of them had expected it to be after the trauma of loosing all of his memory.
"Working with the preventers wouldn't mean as much as it does to the rest of us if you don't remember going through it. All the pain and the horrors of war; I suppose that's what they wanted me to tell you. . . But as much as I care about my job, I care about you a hell of a lot more about you. No one deserves those memories." Duo clenched his fists in a moment of frustration, "Especially not you."
Heero watched on as Duo told all this to him, pacing the room nervously, and twisting the end of his braid around a forefinger in apprehension, same violet eyes trembled with pain. Heero saw that Duo needed him, and wanted to help, so he quickly came up to a tense Duo, placing one arm lightly around him.
"I had those memories once, I can deal with them again, I'm sure," Heero looked up at his love hopefully, pulling Duo closer.
Duo looked at Heero, eyes brimming with tears, but smiled at the action, even though the perfect soldier wouldn't understand. . . How could he possibly understand if he couldn't remember. . . ?
Scenes of death and destruction and Sister Helen and everyone who had died because of him flashed through Duo's head. It made him tremble with sadness. He wished he could do it all over again. Maybe none of it would have happened. Duo leaned his head on Heero's shoulder, and tried to forget.
Heero didn't remember ever being acquainted with death, but he still had his arms clasped tightly around Duo, bringing violet eyes comfort in the memory of pain. One would think Heero would be the one crying, but he had no reason, and yet, seeing Duo doubled over in the misery of his memories, Heero wished that he could cry. But the tears wouldn't come.
Duo broke from tears as he felt the warmth of Heero hugging him. He realized once and for all that he didn't love Heero for the memories they once shared, but for who Heero was; everything about him. And Heero loved him back.
Duo cried in sadness, and Duo cried in joy, but the two were never defined in the moment Heero held him in his arms.
***************************
Thanks to Reviewers:
Jeysien: Yeah, I know, I'm a complete sap for a happy ending. I defiantly agree that there must be pain before true joy, which justifies that last chapter, I think. *smiles*
Fei: Glad you like it, but now they're back to the beginning again, with lots of problems, so this part should get interesting. *winks*
KawaiiAngel4: Thank you! I'm really happy you like it.
Firefox: hehehe, we do have similar names, don't we. . .eh, *shrugs* I always seem to pick the name that everyone has, unintentionally of course. Oh, well, they're cool names anyway! Glad you like the story.
SoulSister: Yeah, I got a little teary-eyed, too. I was really tired of the 'keeping secrets' thing, then, but as you can see, I've gone back in this chapter. Thanks so much.
Eternal-Sleeper: Thank you! *grins* I hope you liked this chapter. I really shouldn't have candy either. . . and I make sure not to have any before writing. You really don't want to see the results. . . (lol)
Lillie chan: Yay! *claps hands excitedly* it worked. Thanks.
Samptra: Thanks for your support. I hope you liked this chapter.
Diane: I had been thinking about three phases before, but there's only so much I can do with Heero's memory loss. I was eager to include Heero and getting his memory back in this phase, but I didn't want to give anything away for hopes of further tension and anxiety. I might be able to squeeze a third phase out of this, but it would be a stretch. I'll see what I can think of. Thanks for the thought. You're exactly right about my motive for having Heero let Duo read the entry. I didn't want to deal with Heero's anger at Duo, because it would have gotten too complicated when Heero gets his memory back. He's going to have enough to deal with. *smiles* Thanks for your review!
Hakumei: Thanks! I think I have the 'insane' part taken care of (lol). I'm so glad you liked it! I value your opinion, and I really like your story, 'Minuet in G'! ^-^
Tigerlily26: I know, it was really sappy. . . I wasn't so sure about it when I put it up, and after reading it through, I considered throwing it away and writing a new one, so I'm glad it wasn't as bad as I thought. Thanks!
**********************
^-^ Please Review.
I love reviews!
Thank you!