So here's the scoop. Link has just found out that Zelda has to travel far
and wide to find a surgeon good enough to save her father's life. He has
Colon Cancer, and they need to fix him, fast. But the only place with good
enough surgeons is the city that never sleeps, New York City. But Link
doesn't think it's wise for Zelda to go out on her own, so guess what, he's
coming with her, and that's it. That's the scoop, now read the story and
laugh.
Zelda stood outside of the castle, waiting for Link to come and escort her to her carriage, which was outside of town. So here comes Link riding Epona up the hill that lead to the castle.
Zelda: Link, over here!
Link: Yeah, I know, now get your ass on the horse, we're late.
Zelda cocked her head
Zelda: What's wrong, Link?
Link: I just found out that Mido is gay, and was only hitting on Saria to get to me, even though it's been seven years, and now he's banging Tingle! Epona is constipated and can't crap, she'll just stand there for an hour snort constantly. And I've got a wedgie.
Zelda felt really bad for Link.
Zelda: Okay, I understand why you feel bad, and I will not bother you until I feel like I need to.
Link nodded.
TWO HOURS LATER
The two were inside the carriage headed for New York City, talking about mindless stuff.
Zelda: So, what do you think of your new home in Hyrule Market?
Link: IT ROCKS!!!!!!!! I mean, it's good...
Zelda: What do you mean, "IT ROCKS!!!!!!?"
Link: I...Uhhhh..Like it. That's all.
Zelda: You're hiding something, what do you do in there?
Link: Bang Malon every night..
Zelda: WHAT!?
Link: I said, "Sprang Talon every fight?"
Zelda: You fight with Malon's father? I thought you and Malon's family were close?
Link: Oh you don't know HOW CLOSE!!!!!!! Malon really knows how to BACK THAT THING UP!!!!!
Zelda: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????
Link: I mean...I.Uhhhh....I was talking about the time we were pulling a sick cow into the barn, like a family.
Zelda: Oh, that's nice. Malon must really be skilled as worker.
Link: OH YEAH!!!! SHE WORKS ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!!
Zelda: WHAT!!!!!!????
Link: Uhhhh.. exactly what I said.
Zelda: Oh. What kind of work does she do?
Link: Uhhhhhhhhh.... Well, she "works with a stick." And she likes to "work on top of things." And when it's that fun she likes to sing out loud.
Zelda: Okay...
Suddenly the Carriage stopped.
Driver: New York!
Zelda: Yay! We're here!
Link: *Sigh* No more Malon tonight. Oh well, I guess I'll just get jiggle with Zelda then.
Will Link ever tell the truth? Will Zelda find the right surgeon? Do we even care? Tune in next time for Chapter 2, New York, New York, it's sure is hell..
Zelda stood outside of the castle, waiting for Link to come and escort her to her carriage, which was outside of town. So here comes Link riding Epona up the hill that lead to the castle.
Zelda: Link, over here!
Link: Yeah, I know, now get your ass on the horse, we're late.
Zelda cocked her head
Zelda: What's wrong, Link?
Link: I just found out that Mido is gay, and was only hitting on Saria to get to me, even though it's been seven years, and now he's banging Tingle! Epona is constipated and can't crap, she'll just stand there for an hour snort constantly. And I've got a wedgie.
Zelda felt really bad for Link.
Zelda: Okay, I understand why you feel bad, and I will not bother you until I feel like I need to.
Link nodded.
TWO HOURS LATER
The two were inside the carriage headed for New York City, talking about mindless stuff.
Zelda: So, what do you think of your new home in Hyrule Market?
Link: IT ROCKS!!!!!!!! I mean, it's good...
Zelda: What do you mean, "IT ROCKS!!!!!!?"
Link: I...Uhhhh..Like it. That's all.
Zelda: You're hiding something, what do you do in there?
Link: Bang Malon every night..
Zelda: WHAT!?
Link: I said, "Sprang Talon every fight?"
Zelda: You fight with Malon's father? I thought you and Malon's family were close?
Link: Oh you don't know HOW CLOSE!!!!!!! Malon really knows how to BACK THAT THING UP!!!!!
Zelda: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????
Link: I mean...I.Uhhhh....I was talking about the time we were pulling a sick cow into the barn, like a family.
Zelda: Oh, that's nice. Malon must really be skilled as worker.
Link: OH YEAH!!!! SHE WORKS ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!!
Zelda: WHAT!!!!!!????
Link: Uhhhh.. exactly what I said.
Zelda: Oh. What kind of work does she do?
Link: Uhhhhhhhhh.... Well, she "works with a stick." And she likes to "work on top of things." And when it's that fun she likes to sing out loud.
Zelda: Okay...
Suddenly the Carriage stopped.
Driver: New York!
Zelda: Yay! We're here!
Link: *Sigh* No more Malon tonight. Oh well, I guess I'll just get jiggle with Zelda then.
Will Link ever tell the truth? Will Zelda find the right surgeon? Do we even care? Tune in next time for Chapter 2, New York, New York, it's sure is hell..