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And with all my heart I'm sure,
We're closer than we ever were
I don't have to hear or see,
I've got all the proof I need
There are more than angels watching over me
I believe
Oh, I believe
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She's too awake to even think about going back to sleep. She's become so restless in his absence. Wandering around her bed in socked feet, thinking, fidgeting, she hears a soft whimper from the next room. Padding quietly into the nursery she sees her little boy. He's pulling himself up, holding on to the sidewall of his crib. An auburn hued downy fuzz covers his head, he smiles that unmistakable grin and stares at her with his father's hazel eyes. If the hair was a shade or two darker and if you replaced the nose he'd received from his mother, that little boy who was beginning to talk and desperately trying to walk could very well be a Mulder clone. Times like this he was the only thing that kept her sane. A living memory of a man who owned her soul. Pulling the knot even tighter around her waist she closed her robe and swept into the room to comfort the boy. It seemed he was always awake when she needed to be reminded. He smiled briefly, however she was not his focus. William's eyes raced around the room, in a desperate search. He always seemed to be looking for something, never quite finding it. She ran her fingers over his downy head and kissed his eyes shut. She bade him softly to sleep again. His gaze fell upon her and lingered. It was so easy to get lost in those round hazel orbs, to merely pretend they were those of another, a long lost lover. William seemed equally entranced by his mother's eyes, the colors of a storming sea, they were the gateway to an often troubled, restless soul. He rested his head on her shoulder and played wistfully with a lock of her hair. He shifted his weight upward and held on to his mother's neck.
"Dadda, go," he softly questioned.
She could barely muster her voice to reply. "Yes, daddies gone, he misses us both terribly, and we miss him too, don't we William?" It was all she could do to contain her emotion.
William missed his sporadic father. "Dadda back," he asked.
"No sweetie, daddy can't come back now." She didn't really want him to understand, it was something no one should ever have to comprehend, let alone a small child.
"Love momma," was his final statement as he slipped effortlessly into sleep.
"I love you too William. I love you so much, and Daddy loves William too." She let the tear flow freely, and placed the boy in his crib. Covering him with a blanket she began to softly sing, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine."
Author's notes: Sorry about the lack of length but there are four more chapters and the next one will be quite substantial. -KMM