Step into Another World
A/N: Please, please, please review.
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Lindsey POV
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Lately I have associated the words work and boring together. I never have a challenge anymore. There was that vampire. although right now his name escapes me. But he got rid of himself. Then there was the ex watcher. But he's smart. He knows not to mess with us. Wolfram and Hart.
Yes we are evil. Nothing can change that. But some of us are more evil then others. Some of us can't feel for those in need. I'm not one of those people.
I see victim's. innocent victims such as children and I just want to stop them from getting hurt. But there isn't anything I can do. I'm just one man.
I once made the mistake of going to the British man for help, but he just threw the whole evil thing in my face. Long story short, the children died. There was nothing I could do. I had never felt so helpless.
It's one thing to feel helpless when there is nothing you can do about it, but its another when you can and you just give up.
Sometimes I have nightmares. I dream that I save those kids, and every other case that I have failed to do good, and every time I see them slip away. I don't sleep much anymore.
Not sleeping can help me in this job. There is always so much work. And now that I have a big competitor, I have even more to do.
Lilah. The more I say the name the more I despise it. She is the pure form of evil. She sold her soul and didn't think twice. But worse of all I wish that I was like her. To be able to do our job and never feel any remorse. I can't. I won't.
Sometimes I wonder if it should have been different. Instead of me being lonely and evil if I could have had somebody, even if just from a far. When I'm not having my nightmares, I dream of a girl, a woman, I love her, I hate her, I want her. But she doesn't exist.
Now I can't help but wonder if all of this was not meant to be. The huge office, the horrible yet wonderful job, health not to mention wealth, and just this life. Maybe if I just ran one day. Ran away to some nowheresville. I can have a new identity, a new family, a new job, a new life. But it wasn't meant to be. I was meant to be evil. I was meant to have this life. And there is not a day goes by that I don't thank God.
A/N: Please, please, please review.
*@*
Lindsey POV
*@*
Lately I have associated the words work and boring together. I never have a challenge anymore. There was that vampire. although right now his name escapes me. But he got rid of himself. Then there was the ex watcher. But he's smart. He knows not to mess with us. Wolfram and Hart.
Yes we are evil. Nothing can change that. But some of us are more evil then others. Some of us can't feel for those in need. I'm not one of those people.
I see victim's. innocent victims such as children and I just want to stop them from getting hurt. But there isn't anything I can do. I'm just one man.
I once made the mistake of going to the British man for help, but he just threw the whole evil thing in my face. Long story short, the children died. There was nothing I could do. I had never felt so helpless.
It's one thing to feel helpless when there is nothing you can do about it, but its another when you can and you just give up.
Sometimes I have nightmares. I dream that I save those kids, and every other case that I have failed to do good, and every time I see them slip away. I don't sleep much anymore.
Not sleeping can help me in this job. There is always so much work. And now that I have a big competitor, I have even more to do.
Lilah. The more I say the name the more I despise it. She is the pure form of evil. She sold her soul and didn't think twice. But worse of all I wish that I was like her. To be able to do our job and never feel any remorse. I can't. I won't.
Sometimes I wonder if it should have been different. Instead of me being lonely and evil if I could have had somebody, even if just from a far. When I'm not having my nightmares, I dream of a girl, a woman, I love her, I hate her, I want her. But she doesn't exist.
Now I can't help but wonder if all of this was not meant to be. The huge office, the horrible yet wonderful job, health not to mention wealth, and just this life. Maybe if I just ran one day. Ran away to some nowheresville. I can have a new identity, a new family, a new job, a new life. But it wasn't meant to be. I was meant to be evil. I was meant to have this life. And there is not a day goes by that I don't thank God.