I just wanted to write, so it is short and sucks, but I feel it
is a nice little reflection type chapter. I don't own ffviii Squaresoft
does. R/r when your done please, and thanks in advance.
Chapter 5: The Young Die Old
He took a deep breath, which burned his lungs fiercely, quickly he closed his eyes. In a second's time, he was lost in his own mind, the questions were endless. He wanted to cry, he wanted to wake up from this nightmare that was his life. No matter how hard he tried, though, he couldn't wake up; he was stuck in a world constantly feeling pleasure in his pain. Seifer did not want to leave.Not yet, he wasn't ready, but he knew it was only a matter of time. Dying in battle was one thing, but becoming weak to the point of not being able to walk twenty steps, was a horrible fate for a warrior such as himself. He started to feel the pain welling up inside him, clenching his heart, and ripping it to pieces. Was it his time already? Many times he had given up the will to live, but now it wasn't a matter of giving up, it was an eventuality.
In slow motion, it seemed, he looked at her, into her deep icy blue eyes, wondering if he was being punished for dragging her down with him. There was something there, though, in her eyes, something he hadn't seen in a long time: compassion, caring, in a troubled way. Her face was confused, but he didn't need to explain it to her, for the moment he spoke, she had understood. Quistis didn't know how the answer had come to her, but it had, and she too was feeling the jagged stab at her heart. No, it wasn't his time, he was too young.As she looked at him, she saw something in his sea green eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time: helplessness, innocence, a lost soul. What could she do? Her heart ached for him. She leaned over and embraced him once more, but more than she had earlier somehow.
"Don't let it beat you," she whispered, feeling him fight the sobs from breaking into audible noises. His eyes were watering, now that she couldn't see his face.
"It's over," he said hoarsely into her shoulder. Quistis put her hand to his head and felt his soft golden hair through her fingers.
"It isn't over," she too was over come with emotion, and she didn't know why. She had fought both with and against Seifer, seen him through his best and worst times, she knew him better than most would even think about. It wasn't fair.
"What am I going to do," he asked more to himself than her.
"Believe that it can't hurt you. You do not deserve this," she swallowed, holding back her own cries, "You haven't had one good day of your life in ten years. You grew up to fast, you were never innocent."
"Is this my punishment," he asked letting his cries escape for two seconds following.
"No, this is where you get your life back, from all the evils that took control," she was crying now, "This is where you give yourself time."
"I don't have time anymore," he closed his eyes tightly.
"You have nothing but time," she was trying to make him feel better, the way a parent would tell the child that their pet went up to heaven when a goldfish died, "We have no responsibilities now, we aren't home anymore, this isn't a prison, this is a new life."
"Is it really that simple," he was regaining his self control, as was she.
"It can be," Quistis broke the embrace and looked at him, a mere shell of his former being. Seifer whipped his eyes and sniffled a little.
"I thought." he paused unsure whether to confide in her, "I thought I had accepted my fate.I thought that I was over it. I figured that I had a few years left, that was enough for me.But now my life is unfinished.I was ready to die, Quistis, just not so soon."
"You won't die," she said quietly yet firmly, "Just believe that you are stronger."
"I don't think I can," he looked down in shame.
"Then it is over," Quistis paused again, "I remember when we were children in the orphanage, everyone was afraid to go to the top of the lighthouse, do you remember that?"
"Yes."
"One day you went up though, to the very top, and when you came down and I asked you how and why you were able to do it you said, 'because I knew I could,' why can't you do that now?"
"How do you remember that," he said absentmindedly.
"I remember very little, but I do remember that experience," she wiped her eyes unsure of the tears, "And then you took me up there, and said 'we did it beca.."
"Cause we can." he finished her sentence, "that was week before I left for the Garden.I was the first to go."
"Then I came a few months later, and we were so cut off from the world, and from what had happened in our own experiences that we were just familiar faces to each other."
"Were we ever young?" he questioned, leaning his elbows on his knees. She shook her head a little.
"Maybe, a very long time ago.Before the young died old."
A short chapter, get over it and r/r, thanks!
Chapter 5: The Young Die Old
He took a deep breath, which burned his lungs fiercely, quickly he closed his eyes. In a second's time, he was lost in his own mind, the questions were endless. He wanted to cry, he wanted to wake up from this nightmare that was his life. No matter how hard he tried, though, he couldn't wake up; he was stuck in a world constantly feeling pleasure in his pain. Seifer did not want to leave.Not yet, he wasn't ready, but he knew it was only a matter of time. Dying in battle was one thing, but becoming weak to the point of not being able to walk twenty steps, was a horrible fate for a warrior such as himself. He started to feel the pain welling up inside him, clenching his heart, and ripping it to pieces. Was it his time already? Many times he had given up the will to live, but now it wasn't a matter of giving up, it was an eventuality.
In slow motion, it seemed, he looked at her, into her deep icy blue eyes, wondering if he was being punished for dragging her down with him. There was something there, though, in her eyes, something he hadn't seen in a long time: compassion, caring, in a troubled way. Her face was confused, but he didn't need to explain it to her, for the moment he spoke, she had understood. Quistis didn't know how the answer had come to her, but it had, and she too was feeling the jagged stab at her heart. No, it wasn't his time, he was too young.As she looked at him, she saw something in his sea green eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time: helplessness, innocence, a lost soul. What could she do? Her heart ached for him. She leaned over and embraced him once more, but more than she had earlier somehow.
"Don't let it beat you," she whispered, feeling him fight the sobs from breaking into audible noises. His eyes were watering, now that she couldn't see his face.
"It's over," he said hoarsely into her shoulder. Quistis put her hand to his head and felt his soft golden hair through her fingers.
"It isn't over," she too was over come with emotion, and she didn't know why. She had fought both with and against Seifer, seen him through his best and worst times, she knew him better than most would even think about. It wasn't fair.
"What am I going to do," he asked more to himself than her.
"Believe that it can't hurt you. You do not deserve this," she swallowed, holding back her own cries, "You haven't had one good day of your life in ten years. You grew up to fast, you were never innocent."
"Is this my punishment," he asked letting his cries escape for two seconds following.
"No, this is where you get your life back, from all the evils that took control," she was crying now, "This is where you give yourself time."
"I don't have time anymore," he closed his eyes tightly.
"You have nothing but time," she was trying to make him feel better, the way a parent would tell the child that their pet went up to heaven when a goldfish died, "We have no responsibilities now, we aren't home anymore, this isn't a prison, this is a new life."
"Is it really that simple," he was regaining his self control, as was she.
"It can be," Quistis broke the embrace and looked at him, a mere shell of his former being. Seifer whipped his eyes and sniffled a little.
"I thought." he paused unsure whether to confide in her, "I thought I had accepted my fate.I thought that I was over it. I figured that I had a few years left, that was enough for me.But now my life is unfinished.I was ready to die, Quistis, just not so soon."
"You won't die," she said quietly yet firmly, "Just believe that you are stronger."
"I don't think I can," he looked down in shame.
"Then it is over," Quistis paused again, "I remember when we were children in the orphanage, everyone was afraid to go to the top of the lighthouse, do you remember that?"
"Yes."
"One day you went up though, to the very top, and when you came down and I asked you how and why you were able to do it you said, 'because I knew I could,' why can't you do that now?"
"How do you remember that," he said absentmindedly.
"I remember very little, but I do remember that experience," she wiped her eyes unsure of the tears, "And then you took me up there, and said 'we did it beca.."
"Cause we can." he finished her sentence, "that was week before I left for the Garden.I was the first to go."
"Then I came a few months later, and we were so cut off from the world, and from what had happened in our own experiences that we were just familiar faces to each other."
"Were we ever young?" he questioned, leaning his elbows on his knees. She shook her head a little.
"Maybe, a very long time ago.Before the young died old."
A short chapter, get over it and r/r, thanks!