Author's Note:
At first you may not understand any of this or how it has to do with my story. I just love screwin' things up. Anyway, consider it a prelude to the other two chapters. And if I write another fanfiction, I have to incorporate psychiatry into it. Imagine Kellsey (who is as deranged as me, if not more) and myself as psychiatrists! *shudder*
By the way, in the last chapter I included myself as Ryu, but I'm Jenny in this one. If you've a problem with skitzos, then you shouldn't be reading this.
Oh yeah, a little warning to readers: I was chocolate-high every night I worked on this, so prepare yourselves for insanity!
****************************************************************************************************************
*Interesting Introductions*
With guest appearances by Kellsey, Rose, and Jenny the Skitzo! (That's me!)
Jenny walked exhaustedly into the large room where she had provided therapy for Inu-Yasha and Kagome. For some reason, the couple's deranged friends always attended their sessions. "Good Kami I need a break." She practically collapsed into the big comfy chair and fell asleep there.
Miroku and Sessho-Maru stood over the thirteen year old girl. "Ya think she's alive?"
Miroku grinned. "I know how we can find out."
Sango and Kagome were riding in the elevator to the psychiatrist's office (I'm a psychiatrist in this fanfiction! Dear Kami save us all.) Inu-Yasha stood in the corner of the elevator, breathing heavily and clutching at the railings. "I'm on the ground, I'm not in a piece of metal hundreds of feet in the air, the cable's not gonna break and we all plummet to our death." The hanyou's train of thought was interrupted by a loud shriek that seemed to come from somewhere above them. Then there was a loud crashing noise, and the elevator stopped with a ding. The three of them stepped out of the car and proceeded to walk to the psychiatrist's office, Inu-Yasha somewhat shakily.
"Don't worry Inu-Yasha. I'll buy you some ramen after we leave."
His ears perked up, but he still grumbled to himself. "I still say this is stupid. Why do we hafta go to a fucking shrink anyway?"
Kagome sighed. "We did go to the school counselor for a while, but I think Miroku scared her. "
"Feh! Scared her? Whaddya expect when he tried to grope her every time we went in."
"Poor woman. She was probably scarred for life."
The trio found the psychiatrist's office: Room 613. *dun dun dun*
Kagome pulled a slip of paper from her pocket and glanced at it. "Well this is the place. Drs. Jenny and Kellsey." *thunder and lightning in the background followed by the "dun dun dun" sound can be heard.*
"Dammit what is that noise?!" Kagome shrugged and opened the door *dun dun dun* to the psychiatrist's office. The three of them stepped inside to see a large room with pink walls. There were stuffed animals in a fifty-foot pile on one side of the room, and a giant bunny chair on the other side. Kagome's eyes widened. She clutched at Sango's arm as they walked into the room.
"Is this the end. Is this Hell?"
After having cowered in fear together, the girls looked around to see where Inu-Yasha had gotten to. "Inu-Chan?" Kagome then saw him huddled against the door in a fetal position sucking his thumb.
"It's all so nice and sweet. *twitch* So...*twitch*...much...*twitch*...KINDNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *TWITCH* NEED.........................HATRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *TWITCH*
Kagome rushed over to Inu-Yasha who was now holding a small teddy bear and rocking back and forth. "Inu-Yasha are you okay?!"
"I'm not in a psychiatrist's office surrounded by *twitch* nice *twitch* things. I'm in a cave eating ramen and watching a home video of Kikyo burning and bleeding and dying a slow painful death. (Yay!)"
Meanwhile, Sango was aiming Hiraikotsu at the bunny chair. "Come out demon! I said come and face me dammit!!!"
Kagome walked over to her friend. "Sango, I need to tell you something."
"Make it quick. You see that demon? Look at the gleam in its eye, it's about to strike."
"Um, Sango? I dunno how to break this to you, but," Kagome leaned over to talk into the girl's ear, "THAT'S A CHAIR YOU IMBECILE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sango lowered the boomerang. "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh."
As Kagome was trying to figure out how to keep Sango from destroying every stuffed animal in the room, a shriek like the one they had heard from the elevator came from behind a door on the other side of the room. Then there was a loud crash, and Miroku and Sessho-Maru came running out of the room. "DAMNED HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In the doorway stood a girl aiming a chair at Miroku. She had long bluish-white hair with lavender streaks. Her black dress fell to the floor on the sides and in the back, but was shorter in the front. Her straight hair was held out of her face by a black headband, and she had a black collar with a silver ring in the center of it. She had black boots that came up to her knees and black armbands on each arm (Talk about a lot of black). The sides of her stomach weren't covered by the dress, but a band attached the front to the back on either side. (Guess who this is!)
Another girl came out behind her. She had long black hair with blue streaks which also reached the floor. Her dress was short all around, and in the back had criss-crossing bands. She also had an armband on each arm, but unlike the other girl's, it covered most of her arm and ended in loose sleeves. Her dress was tied in the back by a black bow, and she had a black collar and headband as well. Her boots were the same as the other girl's, black coming up to her knees. "Sorry Sesshy-Sama."
"Kellsey, I think they're our patients!"
"Well why didn't Rose tell us they were here?!"
A tall girl with blond hair ran into the room panting. "Sorry I'm late!"
Jenny leaned over towards Kellsey. "I bet she was too busy with Desky."
Kellsey looked confused. "I thought she was with Booky."
"Wait, wasn't she still with Phillip?"
The two girls looked at Rose holding a soda. "You didn't!"
"It was an accident! Phillip was in my pocket and I was thirsty! Okay?! I was thirsty!!!"
Kellsey gasped. "You USED Phillip!"
"Rose how could you?!
Miroku was now standing by Sango. "What the Hell are they talking about?!"
Sessho-Maru ran over in front of them. "Don't you people watch the Fairly Oddparents?!"
Everyone stares.
Sessho-Maru and Kellsey start reciting from the episode:
Sessho-Maru: I've got good news and bad news.
Kellsey: What's the good news?
Sessho-Maru: I named my nickel Phillip!
Kellsey: What's the bad news?
Sessho-Maru: It's a girl nickel!
Everyone stares.
Crickets are heard in the background and a tumbleweed goes rolling by.
Inu-Yasha resumes thumb-sucking as Miroku begins to chase Kellsey around the pink room.
Jenny stands up on the bunny chair. "Everyone," *nobody shuts up* "You guys," *Kellsey continues running from Miroku screaming, "GET ME MAH MALLET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Jenny mumbles to herself inaudibly and takes a deep breath. "DAMMIT WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP?!?!?!?!?!" Everyone in the room turns toward the blue-haired girl as she jumps down from the chair with an innocent smile. "Now then, let's start the therapy, shall we?" She skipped lightly into the room humming the tune of a Japanese song.
As everyone else stared in the direction of the door, Miroku spoke up. "Soft-spoken, yet convincing."
Jenny stuck her head out the door grinning broadly. "You all better get in here before I start singing the Hamtaro song." The entire IY cast ran into the room, followed by Kellsey skipping after them. The door closed behind them, and Rose sat down at her desk.
"Why the Hell do I work for these people?"
*Therapy*
The actual office had black walls with instruments of torture (guillotine, swords, Kikyo plushies, etc.) thrown around on the floor. The only thing that made it look like it didn't come out of a video-game dungeon was the anime memorabilia all over the walls and any pieces of furniture in the room. (Oh, heaven! Various instruments of torture and anime all in one room!!!) Jenny and Kellsey sat at one side of the room and the Inu-Yasha cast sat on the other side.
Kellsey pushed her black hair back . "Let's start with a song, shall we?"
Jenny and Kellsey smiled evilly at each other and took a deep breath.
"Fighting evil by moonlight. (Yes, we actually do sing this song) Winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon!"
*the two psycho psychiatrists finish the song as all of their patients stare in horror."
"How much are we paying you again?"
"Just seventy-five bucks an hour."
Jenny and Kellsey both put on rectangular glasses to look smart, and Jenny started talking in her psychiatrist voice.
"Inu-Yasha, Kagome. Vut iz ze probvem?"
"I'll tell ya what the problem is! This wench keeps on sittin' me! That's the problem!"
"Let's go back a vile."
Inu-Yasha leans back. "Well, when I was a young yokai..."
...7 hours later...
Inu-Yasha: *is lying with his head in Kagome's lap* And then *sniffle* Sessho-Maru took my ball and he...he threw it over the fence. And I, I...*tears begin to well in his eyes* I never got it back!!! That was my favorite ball!
Kagome: *stroking Inu-Yasha's hair* There, there, Inu-Chan. It's okay.
Everyone Else In The Room: *got so bored during the retelling of Inu-Yasha's entire childhood that they couldn't help but fall asleep*
Kellsey: *finally wakes up and wipes drool from the side of her mouth* Huh? Oh, yes. *nudges Jenny who realizes she had a snot bubble coming out of her nose* Well, I don't think Jenny meant to go that far back.
Jenny: Yeah. Why don't you tell us about when you met?
Kellsey: Wait! *whispers something to Jenny*
Jenny: That's right! We had a present for Sango and Miroku! *pulls a gold-wrapped, rectangle-shaped object from behind her and hands it to Sango, who is still half-asleep*
Sango: What could it be? *opens the wrapping to reveal a large English dictionary*
Kellsey: This way if your teachers take Hiraikotsu..
Jenny: ...you'll still have something to beat the shit out of Miroku with!
Sango: *tears of joy welling in her eyes* Can I try it out now?"
J&K: Sure!
Sango: *whacks Miroku with the encyclopedia* That was invigorating!
Kellsey: Do it again!
Sango: *whacks again*
Everyone: Again!!!
Sango: *whacks AGAIN*
..4 hours later...
Everyone: AGAIN!!!
Miroku: *barely conscious* ENOUGH ALREADY!!! HENTAI HAVE FEELINGS TOO YA KNOW!!!!
Jenny: Maybe we should get back to Inu-Chan and Kagome.
Kellsey: Tell us about when you first met.
...3 hours and two odd fanfiction chapters later (their stories are the first two chapters) ...
Jenny: *playing tic-tac-toe and pretending to take notes* Your move.
Kellsey: In the corner.
Jenny: *draws a circle in the corner*
IY Cast: *staring at the two psychiatrists*
Kellsey: I think we've had enough for one day! How about we give Miroku and Sango couple's counseling next?
Jenny: Yay!
Rose: *walks in and hands a piece of paper to Inu-Yasha, with tears welling in her eyes* I finally get my big paycheck!
Jenny: *starting to sweat a little* Eh heh, how bout you guys open that after you leave?
IY Cast: *leaves as Kellsey and Jenny start singing the Hamtaro song*
Jenny and Kellsey: *grin evilly as they hear Inu-Yasha screaming*
****************************************************************************************************************
Ryu: I feel like ending the chapter with a song!
IY Cast: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ryu: Alright, I'll save that for last. Anywho, I warned you people I was chocolate high. I know this seemed sorta rushed, but oh well. Please Review! I need other crazed maniacs out there to help me and Kells come up with Miroku's story.
Ryu: And now for my song...
Minareta machi sarigenaku aru keba tashikani kono me niwa utsuru. Yuugre ni natte susumu hitonamini umorete ubieteru kokoro. Raison d'etre, sonna funni. Raison d'etre, onaji youni. Waratte shizunde nagareru nowa naze? Kagi o sagashiterunda. Zutto sagashiterunda. Dokomede mienai sono DOOR no kagi wa.
Sessho-Maru: Hey, she didn't torment us.
Ryu: *smirks evilly* Hamtaro.
Hamtaro: Hiya guys!
IY Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
****************************************************************************************************************
At first you may not understand any of this or how it has to do with my story. I just love screwin' things up. Anyway, consider it a prelude to the other two chapters. And if I write another fanfiction, I have to incorporate psychiatry into it. Imagine Kellsey (who is as deranged as me, if not more) and myself as psychiatrists! *shudder*
By the way, in the last chapter I included myself as Ryu, but I'm Jenny in this one. If you've a problem with skitzos, then you shouldn't be reading this.
Oh yeah, a little warning to readers: I was chocolate-high every night I worked on this, so prepare yourselves for insanity!
****************************************************************************************************************
*Interesting Introductions*
With guest appearances by Kellsey, Rose, and Jenny the Skitzo! (That's me!)
Jenny walked exhaustedly into the large room where she had provided therapy for Inu-Yasha and Kagome. For some reason, the couple's deranged friends always attended their sessions. "Good Kami I need a break." She practically collapsed into the big comfy chair and fell asleep there.
Miroku and Sessho-Maru stood over the thirteen year old girl. "Ya think she's alive?"
Miroku grinned. "I know how we can find out."
Sango and Kagome were riding in the elevator to the psychiatrist's office (I'm a psychiatrist in this fanfiction! Dear Kami save us all.) Inu-Yasha stood in the corner of the elevator, breathing heavily and clutching at the railings. "I'm on the ground, I'm not in a piece of metal hundreds of feet in the air, the cable's not gonna break and we all plummet to our death." The hanyou's train of thought was interrupted by a loud shriek that seemed to come from somewhere above them. Then there was a loud crashing noise, and the elevator stopped with a ding. The three of them stepped out of the car and proceeded to walk to the psychiatrist's office, Inu-Yasha somewhat shakily.
"Don't worry Inu-Yasha. I'll buy you some ramen after we leave."
His ears perked up, but he still grumbled to himself. "I still say this is stupid. Why do we hafta go to a fucking shrink anyway?"
Kagome sighed. "We did go to the school counselor for a while, but I think Miroku scared her. "
"Feh! Scared her? Whaddya expect when he tried to grope her every time we went in."
"Poor woman. She was probably scarred for life."
The trio found the psychiatrist's office: Room 613. *dun dun dun*
Kagome pulled a slip of paper from her pocket and glanced at it. "Well this is the place. Drs. Jenny and Kellsey." *thunder and lightning in the background followed by the "dun dun dun" sound can be heard.*
"Dammit what is that noise?!" Kagome shrugged and opened the door *dun dun dun* to the psychiatrist's office. The three of them stepped inside to see a large room with pink walls. There were stuffed animals in a fifty-foot pile on one side of the room, and a giant bunny chair on the other side. Kagome's eyes widened. She clutched at Sango's arm as they walked into the room.
"Is this the end. Is this Hell?"
After having cowered in fear together, the girls looked around to see where Inu-Yasha had gotten to. "Inu-Chan?" Kagome then saw him huddled against the door in a fetal position sucking his thumb.
"It's all so nice and sweet. *twitch* So...*twitch*...much...*twitch*...KINDNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *TWITCH* NEED.........................HATRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *TWITCH*
Kagome rushed over to Inu-Yasha who was now holding a small teddy bear and rocking back and forth. "Inu-Yasha are you okay?!"
"I'm not in a psychiatrist's office surrounded by *twitch* nice *twitch* things. I'm in a cave eating ramen and watching a home video of Kikyo burning and bleeding and dying a slow painful death. (Yay!)"
Meanwhile, Sango was aiming Hiraikotsu at the bunny chair. "Come out demon! I said come and face me dammit!!!"
Kagome walked over to her friend. "Sango, I need to tell you something."
"Make it quick. You see that demon? Look at the gleam in its eye, it's about to strike."
"Um, Sango? I dunno how to break this to you, but," Kagome leaned over to talk into the girl's ear, "THAT'S A CHAIR YOU IMBECILE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sango lowered the boomerang. "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh."
As Kagome was trying to figure out how to keep Sango from destroying every stuffed animal in the room, a shriek like the one they had heard from the elevator came from behind a door on the other side of the room. Then there was a loud crash, and Miroku and Sessho-Maru came running out of the room. "DAMNED HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In the doorway stood a girl aiming a chair at Miroku. She had long bluish-white hair with lavender streaks. Her black dress fell to the floor on the sides and in the back, but was shorter in the front. Her straight hair was held out of her face by a black headband, and she had a black collar with a silver ring in the center of it. She had black boots that came up to her knees and black armbands on each arm (Talk about a lot of black). The sides of her stomach weren't covered by the dress, but a band attached the front to the back on either side. (Guess who this is!)
Another girl came out behind her. She had long black hair with blue streaks which also reached the floor. Her dress was short all around, and in the back had criss-crossing bands. She also had an armband on each arm, but unlike the other girl's, it covered most of her arm and ended in loose sleeves. Her dress was tied in the back by a black bow, and she had a black collar and headband as well. Her boots were the same as the other girl's, black coming up to her knees. "Sorry Sesshy-Sama."
"Kellsey, I think they're our patients!"
"Well why didn't Rose tell us they were here?!"
A tall girl with blond hair ran into the room panting. "Sorry I'm late!"
Jenny leaned over towards Kellsey. "I bet she was too busy with Desky."
Kellsey looked confused. "I thought she was with Booky."
"Wait, wasn't she still with Phillip?"
The two girls looked at Rose holding a soda. "You didn't!"
"It was an accident! Phillip was in my pocket and I was thirsty! Okay?! I was thirsty!!!"
Kellsey gasped. "You USED Phillip!"
"Rose how could you?!
Miroku was now standing by Sango. "What the Hell are they talking about?!"
Sessho-Maru ran over in front of them. "Don't you people watch the Fairly Oddparents?!"
Everyone stares.
Sessho-Maru and Kellsey start reciting from the episode:
Sessho-Maru: I've got good news and bad news.
Kellsey: What's the good news?
Sessho-Maru: I named my nickel Phillip!
Kellsey: What's the bad news?
Sessho-Maru: It's a girl nickel!
Everyone stares.
Crickets are heard in the background and a tumbleweed goes rolling by.
Inu-Yasha resumes thumb-sucking as Miroku begins to chase Kellsey around the pink room.
Jenny stands up on the bunny chair. "Everyone," *nobody shuts up* "You guys," *Kellsey continues running from Miroku screaming, "GET ME MAH MALLET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Jenny mumbles to herself inaudibly and takes a deep breath. "DAMMIT WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP?!?!?!?!?!" Everyone in the room turns toward the blue-haired girl as she jumps down from the chair with an innocent smile. "Now then, let's start the therapy, shall we?" She skipped lightly into the room humming the tune of a Japanese song.
As everyone else stared in the direction of the door, Miroku spoke up. "Soft-spoken, yet convincing."
Jenny stuck her head out the door grinning broadly. "You all better get in here before I start singing the Hamtaro song." The entire IY cast ran into the room, followed by Kellsey skipping after them. The door closed behind them, and Rose sat down at her desk.
"Why the Hell do I work for these people?"
*Therapy*
The actual office had black walls with instruments of torture (guillotine, swords, Kikyo plushies, etc.) thrown around on the floor. The only thing that made it look like it didn't come out of a video-game dungeon was the anime memorabilia all over the walls and any pieces of furniture in the room. (Oh, heaven! Various instruments of torture and anime all in one room!!!) Jenny and Kellsey sat at one side of the room and the Inu-Yasha cast sat on the other side.
Kellsey pushed her black hair back . "Let's start with a song, shall we?"
Jenny and Kellsey smiled evilly at each other and took a deep breath.
"Fighting evil by moonlight. (Yes, we actually do sing this song) Winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon!"
*the two psycho psychiatrists finish the song as all of their patients stare in horror."
"How much are we paying you again?"
"Just seventy-five bucks an hour."
Jenny and Kellsey both put on rectangular glasses to look smart, and Jenny started talking in her psychiatrist voice.
"Inu-Yasha, Kagome. Vut iz ze probvem?"
"I'll tell ya what the problem is! This wench keeps on sittin' me! That's the problem!"
"Let's go back a vile."
Inu-Yasha leans back. "Well, when I was a young yokai..."
...7 hours later...
Inu-Yasha: *is lying with his head in Kagome's lap* And then *sniffle* Sessho-Maru took my ball and he...he threw it over the fence. And I, I...*tears begin to well in his eyes* I never got it back!!! That was my favorite ball!
Kagome: *stroking Inu-Yasha's hair* There, there, Inu-Chan. It's okay.
Everyone Else In The Room: *got so bored during the retelling of Inu-Yasha's entire childhood that they couldn't help but fall asleep*
Kellsey: *finally wakes up and wipes drool from the side of her mouth* Huh? Oh, yes. *nudges Jenny who realizes she had a snot bubble coming out of her nose* Well, I don't think Jenny meant to go that far back.
Jenny: Yeah. Why don't you tell us about when you met?
Kellsey: Wait! *whispers something to Jenny*
Jenny: That's right! We had a present for Sango and Miroku! *pulls a gold-wrapped, rectangle-shaped object from behind her and hands it to Sango, who is still half-asleep*
Sango: What could it be? *opens the wrapping to reveal a large English dictionary*
Kellsey: This way if your teachers take Hiraikotsu..
Jenny: ...you'll still have something to beat the shit out of Miroku with!
Sango: *tears of joy welling in her eyes* Can I try it out now?"
J&K: Sure!
Sango: *whacks Miroku with the encyclopedia* That was invigorating!
Kellsey: Do it again!
Sango: *whacks again*
Everyone: Again!!!
Sango: *whacks AGAIN*
..4 hours later...
Everyone: AGAIN!!!
Miroku: *barely conscious* ENOUGH ALREADY!!! HENTAI HAVE FEELINGS TOO YA KNOW!!!!
Jenny: Maybe we should get back to Inu-Chan and Kagome.
Kellsey: Tell us about when you first met.
...3 hours and two odd fanfiction chapters later (their stories are the first two chapters) ...
Jenny: *playing tic-tac-toe and pretending to take notes* Your move.
Kellsey: In the corner.
Jenny: *draws a circle in the corner*
IY Cast: *staring at the two psychiatrists*
Kellsey: I think we've had enough for one day! How about we give Miroku and Sango couple's counseling next?
Jenny: Yay!
Rose: *walks in and hands a piece of paper to Inu-Yasha, with tears welling in her eyes* I finally get my big paycheck!
Jenny: *starting to sweat a little* Eh heh, how bout you guys open that after you leave?
IY Cast: *leaves as Kellsey and Jenny start singing the Hamtaro song*
Jenny and Kellsey: *grin evilly as they hear Inu-Yasha screaming*
****************************************************************************************************************
Ryu: I feel like ending the chapter with a song!
IY Cast: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ryu: Alright, I'll save that for last. Anywho, I warned you people I was chocolate high. I know this seemed sorta rushed, but oh well. Please Review! I need other crazed maniacs out there to help me and Kells come up with Miroku's story.
Ryu: And now for my song...
Minareta machi sarigenaku aru keba tashikani kono me niwa utsuru. Yuugre ni natte susumu hitonamini umorete ubieteru kokoro. Raison d'etre, sonna funni. Raison d'etre, onaji youni. Waratte shizunde nagareru nowa naze? Kagi o sagashiterunda. Zutto sagashiterunda. Dokomede mienai sono DOOR no kagi wa.
Sessho-Maru: Hey, she didn't torment us.
Ryu: *smirks evilly* Hamtaro.
Hamtaro: Hiya guys!
IY Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
****************************************************************************************************************