Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all your great reviews! Since you seem to want this to be R&R, it will be! Yea! Also: I do not own Friends. I will, however, let you know when this changes.
Chapter 2
Rachel - Oh my god…Barry!
Barry – Yup.
Rachel – And Mindy!
Mindy – Hey Rachel! Long time no see!
Rachel – But…I thought you guys got divorced.
Barry – We did. But, after a few months, Mindy came to her senses and realized that life without me…sucks. So we got married again.
Rachel – Mindy, you just let him talk to you like that?
Mindy – You have to learn to tune him out…it was really okay, though. The girl he slept with was a lesbian.
Rachel – Oh my god! Barry, is she serious
Mindy – You remember Melissa from college, don't you? (AN: Remember TOW Rachel's Big Kiss?)
Rachel – I can't believe you did that Barry!
Gavin – You slept with a lesbian?
Tag – Didn't Ross marry one?
Joshua – Whoa! That Emily girl was a lesbian?
Rachel – No, he's talking about Carol…the first one.
Joshua – Oh…that makes sense, I guess.
(Knock on the door)
Rachel – NOOOOOO!
Scene: M&Cs apartment, all are there except for Rachel
Phoebe – Mike.
Chandler – Phoebe, we are not naming our kid after your ex-boyfriend.
Phoebe – Fine! Chris.
Monica – No.
Joey – Ian.
Monica – No.
Phoebe – How about-
Monica – You guys suck at boy names! Let's do girl names now!
Joey – Okay, um…Taylor.
Chandler – I don't think so…
Phoebe – Laurie?
Monica – No…
Joey – Oh, I know! Kathy!
Monica – Joey, I am NOT naming my kid after my husband's ex-girlfriend!
Chandler – It's such a pretty name though…
Monica – (glares at him)
Chandler – (to Phoebe and Joey) Yeah, I'm on the couch tonight.
Scene – R&Rs apartment, Rachel, Barry, Mindy, Gavin, Joshua and Tag are all sitting down. We see someone walking around but we don't see their face.
Person – (picking a cup up off the coffee table) Cup!
Rachel – Yes very good Paolo. CUP!
Paolo – Ah, Raquel! (He moves toward her. She jumps out of the way)
Rachel – Okay Paolo, I know we never really had much of a relationship, besides, you know, animal sex, but I would think you'd remember that I dumped you like eight years ago and…you have no clue what I'm saying, do you?
Paolo – (shrugs and moves toward her again)
Rachel – (punches him in the stomach) Back off!
Tag – Ooohh, way to go Rachel!
Barry – Yeah, I think he got what that meant.
Rachel – Remind me again why you guys are still here.
Joshua – Well, we don't really have anywhere else to be, so…
Rachel – So, you're gonna hang out in my apartment even though we haven't spoken in years.
All Guys – Yeah, pretty much.
Mindy – Oh Barry, we should actually go…
Barry – Why?
Mindy – I'm supposed to meet a friend…we're going shopping…
Barry – Well I'm not ready to go yet. Why don't you just go?
Mindy – We only have one car. Give me the keys then.
Barry – You expect me to let you drive my Jaguar? I don't think so.
Mindy – Well how else am I suppose to get there?
Barry – I don't know, you tell me!
Rachel – Oh my god Barry, give her the keys!
Barry – Fine! (gives them to her)
Rachel – Come on, Min, I'll walk you out. (they reach the door) God Mindy, how can you stand that? All that grief just to go shopping with one of your girl friends?
Mindy – Actually, he's not a girl friend. And we're not going shopping. (leaves)
Rachel – All right you guys, if you insist on staying here, that's fine, but I'm warning you, you had better not bother me because I am already stressed out because of each of you!
Guys – Okay.
Rachel – (Knock on the door) Oh my god! I swear, if that is anyone other than the pizza delivery guy, I am going to make him cry so hard! (Opens the door and sees Paul standing there with tears running down his face)
Paul – R – Ra – Rachel?
Rachel – Or not.
Paul – (collapses into Rachel's arms, crying) Rachel, I miss you…You're the only woman that opened my gate and brought my emotions out…please take me back!
Rachel – I don't think so, Paul.
Paul – (cries harder and walks past her)
Barry – Jeez, what a wuss.
Tag – I know, seriously man.
Rachel – Why me?
Scene: M&Cs apartment, continued from before
Monica - …And we need a changing table and a crib and a mobile and a little swing and a rocking chair and-
Phoebe – Hold on, you're going too fast!
Monica – Am I going fast, or all of you writing too slow?
Joey – You're going too fast.
Monica – Well if we're going baby shopping, we need to know what we're gonna get!
Chandler – I don't know why we need to get all this stuff now. Ross and Rachel waited until like the eighth month and they were fine.
Monica – Well, excuse me for not behaving like my irresponsible brother and his irresponsible ex-girlfriend slash ex-wife slash roommate slash my best friend!
Joey – Monica, you have to calm down! I mean, you're pregnant! Aren't you tired?
Monica – I may be pregnant, but I'm Monica! I don't lie down in the middle of the day! (yawns) Although I guess I can sit…(Walks over and sits in the chair, and automatically falls asleep)
Chandler – Coffee?
Phoebe and Joey – Yeah, sounds good. (They leave. The phone rings, but Monica doesn't wake up. The machine picks it up, and it's Ross)
Ross – (on phone) Hi guys, it's me. I just wanted to let you know I can't make it today for the baby stuff, I really need to go home and lie down, but I'll join in tomorrow, okay? Bye. (Beep!)
Monica – (Wakes up) WHAT! He's not shopping for my baby because he needs to lie down!?!?! …Where is everybody?
TBC
Okay, That's chapter 2! Please review and let me know if I forgot any of Rachel's exes (I'm only doing the recurring ones, not the guys who were only there for one episode. Otherwise it would be way too long. I left Mark out on purpose, although he might show up later). Bye!