Chapter 5! Sorry if this is a little late, I had somewhat of a writer's block…as always, thank you SO MUCH for reviewing and PLEASE do it at the end of this chapter as well! Thank you! I still do not own Friends (Surprisingly. I thought I would have had 'em by now.)
Scene: C&Ms apartment, everyone is coming back from the store.
Phoebe – God, Monica. You practically harass the clerk, then you chase Chandler for nine blocks before tackling him, and you do it all while pregnant!
Monica – I know!
Joey – Hey Chandler, thanks for the pizza, it was great!
Chandler – I wouldn't know!
Monica – Well, as long as you put the book back, it's okay.
Chandler – (Smiles innocently at her and winks at Joey)
Monica – Oh, I almost forgot! Chandler and I got a sonogram video yesterday, do you want to see it?
Joey – Yeah!
Phoebe – Oh! Yea! But, shouldn't we wait for Ross and Rachel?
Chandler – Naw, they're probably still lying down.
Monica – Yeah, they're no fun. Now quiet! Don't make any noise! I want to hear the tape!
Joey – Because your baby is making a lot of noise?
Monica – No!
Phoebe – Oh darn! I was hoping it would start singing "New York, New York".
Chandler – (Pause) WHY!?!?
Phoebe – Entertainment purposes.
Monica – Okay, here we go! (Puts the tape in, they watch it for awhile) So?
Joey – Well…it doesn't do anything.
Chandler – Oh see, if you fast-forward it, it starts can-canning around Monica's uterus. What do you expect?
Joey – Nothing like that! It just sits there!
Phoebe – They don't do much Joey. Remember the video of the triplets? All they did was lie there, all squished together like sardines.
Joey – That's what was missing on the pizza!
Monica – Joey, I'm sorry our baby isn't exciting enough for you, but it's not like it can do much else!
Joey – You guys should get a video like Ross and Rachel, now that was exciting!
Chandler – The Foreplay Video!?!
Joey – Yes!
Monica – Sorry Joey, Chandler doesn't secretly tape that kind of thing.
Chandler – No, he doesn't.
Monica – OH MY GOD! You taped it!
Chandler – No, I didn't! You just said you trusted me! And it's not like I was practicing to seduce women!
Phoebe – Yeah, he doesn't do that in front of cameras now that he's married.
Joey – Whatever. Can we eat now?
Chandler – Joey, you and Phoebe just ate two pizzas while Monica was chasing me around New York. And you're hungry?
Joey – I can't help it! I'm a Tribianni!
Monica – Okay, while we get food, Phoebe, why don't you look out the window? If Ross and Rachel are awake, they might want to join us.
Phoebe – Okay! (She walks to the window and looks out) No, their apartment's empty.
Scene: R&Rs apartment, and yup, it's empty. The phone rings, and the machine comes on.
Phoebe – Hi guys, it's me! I just wanted to let you know that we're going to get something to eat, and we were wondering if you wanted to join us. Monica's mad because you missed the whole shopping thing, and she says that if you don't help us later she's going to make you paint the entire nursery- Hey! Monica!
Monica – (On the phone) NEATLY! Or I'll make you do it over!
Phoebe – Sorry. Anyway, give us a call later. Bye! (Beep!)
Cut to: Rachel's room. She's lying on her bed, talking in her sleep.
Rachel – No…stop. Go away! No… Barry…Paolo…Gavin…Go away! NO! (She suddenly wakes up) Wha- What? Oh! Oh, thank god! It was a dream! Oh… (She sighs and gets out of bed)
Cut to: Ross's room, same thing.
Ross – No! Don't hate me…It's not my fault…Emily, put it down…Julie, stop…Carol, help! No! No! (Wakes up) Oh…Oh! What a nightmare! (He stretches and gets up)
Cut to: Rachel
Rachel – (In her bathroom, looking in her mirror) They were all there. All of them. All there…oh my god…Oh my god! Thank god it was a dream…oh…
Cut to: Ross
Ross – (Same scenario) Wow! They all hated me. Every single one of them. I couldn't… wow. They kept yelling, and…what were they yelling about? They kept insisting something, but I don't…I can't…
Cut to: Rachel
Rachel – Man, that was weird. Oh, I'd better call Mon, she said something about baby shopping…
(She leaves her room. At the same time, Ross walks out of his)
Ross – Hey! Have you been asleep this whole time?
Rachel – Yeah, I guess! I had the weirdest dream, though…
Ross – Yeah, I had a really weird one myself.
Rachel – Every guy I've dated in the past came back. All of them at once. It was so freaky…
Ross – Really? I had the exact same dream! Except with all my ex-girlfriends, of course…
Rachel – Wow. How strange is that?
Ross – Yeah, I know.
Rachel – I mean, they were all there! Every single guy I've ever dated!
Ross - …Even me?
Rachel – (Realizes) Actually, no…you were the only one that wasn't there.
Ross – Yeah, you weren't in mine either…
Rachel – That's funny. (Pause) Oh well, I guess we'd better call the guys and see when they're going shopping. (Stops) Something wrong?
Ross – No, I'm fine. It's just, they all kept telling me something and insisting it was true. I kept telling them no, but…it's driving me crazy, I just can't remember what it was.
Rachel – That's funny. (She picks up the phone and starts dialing) Well, it was only a dream. It can't have been anything important.
Ross – Yeah, that's true. I just wish I could remember.
Rachel – Yeah… Hi! Pheebs, it's me. Yeah, we both just woke up, and…Mon?
Monica – (Screaming over the phone) WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN!?!
Rachel – (Holding the phone away from her ear) Sorry Monica, we just woke up!
Monica – YOU MISSED SHOPPING FOR MY BABY TO TAKE NAPS!?! I NEEDED YOU THERE TO WATCH CHANDLER! HE SNUCK STUFF INTO THE CART AND COMPLETELY MESSED UP THE PRICE, SO I HAD TO CHASE HIM OUT OF THE STORE!!!
Ross – (Yelling towards the phone) Gee, Mon, we're sorry we missed that.
Monica – FINE! JUST GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE, OR-
Phoebe – Monica, stop! (Grabs the phone) Sorry, guys. The pregnancy hormone thing, you know.
Rachel – Really, I though that was just Monica.
Phoebe – Could be. Anyway, we're going to eat now. You wanna come, and then help us organize the baby stuff?
Rachel – Yeah! We'll be over in a few minutes.
Phoebe – Great! See you then!
(As Phoebe hangs up, we switch back to C&Ms apartment)
Joey – Monica, I know you're pregnant and everything, but can't you cool it on the hormone thing a little?
Chandler – I know, really. Considering Ross and Rachel have been asleep since this morning, they're probably really wiped out.
Monica – What about us? We haven't been napping, we've been running around shopping all morning, and we're not tired! (Notices Phoebe sleeping on the couch) Phoebe!
Phoebe – What?
Monica – Wake up!
Phoebe – Oh, sorry. All that shopping really wiped me out!
Monica – Whatever! Okay, you guys want to do some more names until Ross and Rachel get here?
Joey – Do you promise not to throw stuff this time?
Scene: R&Rs apartment, they are getting ready to leave.
Ross – Rach, you about ready? We told Phoebe we'd be there five minutes ago! (To himself) What did they keep saying?
Rachel – I'm coming! I'm ready! (Grabs her purse) You got everything?
Ross – Yup. Let's go.
(They turn and open the door, but someone is standing there, just about to knock. Rachel and Ross are shocked to see that it's…)
Ross/Rachel – RICHARD!?!
Richard – Jack just told me.
Rachel – What? What are you talking about?
Richard – (Upset) About the baby. First she marries him, now they have to have a baby too?
Ross – Well, it's what Monica's always wanted. To have a husband and a bunch of kids.
Richard – I know! I just…I guess I kind of wish I were the one to give them to her.
Rachel – Well, you can't be Richard. She's moved on.
Richard – Yeah, I guess I'd better start too.
Rachel – Well, it's only been six years since you broke up, I guess you could start anytime now.
Ross – Sorry Richard, we're on our way out. We'll tell everyone you said hi.
Richard – That's just as well, I have an engagement party to go to for one of my patients. I don't know them all that well…
Ross – Oh, anyone we know?
Richard – Maybe. I don't know their last names, but their first names are…what was it? Oh, yes. Mark and Chloe. (He leaves)
(Ross and Rachel stare at each other in shock.)
All done with Chapter 5! Thank you for reading and PLEASE review! If it seems like they're not, don't worry, I AM going to get Ross and Rachel together!