Title: You Don't Know Me
Disclaimer: Don't own them, if I did I'd make them all gay,
and I wouldn't be writing fan fiction for them in the first
place.
Warning: Shonen ai (male/male relationships), cursing, and a
sorry attempt at angst. do you not like it? I would advise
you not read it, k?
You don't know me. Not really anyway.
You only see this mask. Never through it. Did it ever occur to
you that I might not be that happy go lucky guy
you see on the outside? Did it ever occur to you that I might
have a brain the size of a normal person's? Of
course not, because you don't know me at all. I don't suppose
it's your fault, after all you have Hikari.
And she's someone who you know better than anyone else. See, you know
each other with an undaunted form of
understanding.
I'm not always happy. No one is. You say that I'm not acting
like myself, but you are wrong. This is who I
am. A human being. A human being with feelings. I feel hate,
anger, pain, jealousy, and... love just like
everyone else. And it hurts, you know, being called 'stupid'
I mean, because I'm not stupid, dammit! What
am I talking about? Of course you, dubbed Mr. Perfect by
everyone, wouldn't understand. You get good
grades and do good in school, but who really cares? Just
because I don't bother to do my school work
doesn't mean I don't understand the work, and the only reason
I can't answer the teachers in school
correctly is because I'm too busy dreaming of yo... of stuff.
You don't know me at all.
You think I'm easy to read, don't you? Well I'm not. You
don't know how much it hurts to be laughed at?
And by people who are supposed to be my friends.
Hmm... friends. What a stupid word. I looked it up in the
dictionary once, not because I didn't know what it meant, or
what I thought it meant anyway, but because I
was curious as to what they thought it meant. It said, 'A
person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.' Am I
your friend, Takeru?
Takeru.
You have a beautiful name, you know. It's like... it's
something that can't be explained, really. Not a mystery,
but it's beautiful, non the less. I'm getting into dangerous
territory with my mind wandering this far into my
head, but who gives a damn? Not me, and certainly not you...
you don't care about me, anyway. At least not
in the way I want you to. But right now let me think about
you. You are... well it's hard to describe you.
Beautiful and handsome... those words do you no justice. Even
angels could only hope to be as (for lack of
a better word) beautiful as you. Not only that but your the
kindest person I know, which shocks me because
I never though that I'd ever meet anyone who was both kind
and good looking (once again for lack of a
better word.)
Let me take this moment to prove to you how much I know
you(and that you are the only one who doesn't
know... well namely: me.) You like to laugh and be happy
almost as much as you like to see the other people
around you happy. There is this underlying sadness under all
your happiness, though, and I think it has to
do with your parent's divorce. I mean, you barely got to see
you father and brother. Another reason is
because you are forced to do things that make others unhappy.
Anyway, your best friend is Hikari and
you'd like to be my friend even though I won't let you for
fear that I accidentally blurt out my feeling for you.
Your brother is gay and I think you are, too (though I'd never
ask.) Your are the keeper of hope, which is
ironic, since I was hoping that you'd love me too. Did I just
say that? Gods, that sounded stupid...
You. You definitely don't know me. You think I'm jealous of
you. Why would I be jealous of your
relationship with Hikari, I know that you're only friends
anyway. Besides, didn't you know I was gay? I mean
it's not that hard to guess. Tai guessed. Ken guessed. Hell,
even your mom guessed! No. It's not you I'm
jealous of, it's Hikari. Stupid, huh? I know you're only
friends, but I think that it's the... closeness between
the two of you that gets on my nerves. I hate her sometimes.
Hikari, I mean. Don't ask me why I corrected
myself; I just like to do that... any way back to killing
Hikari. Every touch, even accidentally gets on my
nerves. You're leading her on, you know. Not that it's any of
my business what you do.
See, I get these things called the 'jitters' or 'stomach
butterflies (though the idea of having living insects
inside my stomach is really disgusting.)' when ever I'm
around you. There are days when I'm ashamed of
being in love with you, like today for one. I don't know why
I punched you (but it was a damn good punch,
and will most likely leave a huge bruise), well actually I
do. Stupid as it is, I punched you because I love
you, and i didn't want you to know. What did Ken call my
heart? Oh, yes, a castle. Like those old ones
where they have trick doors and traps that no one knows
about, not even the one who lives there(that
would be me.) I think it sounds kind of dumb, even if it is a
good metaphor. I guess what he was saying was
that I was really complicated to figure out, like those 5,000
piece puzzles, it takes a lot of time and
concentration to figure out the puzzle, but it isn't
impossible. It amazes me that you didn't just give up trying
to figure me out. I must be as hard to figure out as girls
are. That's a scary thought.
There you are again, in front of me. I knew it wasn't smart
to hide in the gym. It's too late too run now
anyway. You're too close for my mental and physical comfort,
You're practically sitting on me, not that I
mind, just don't blame me if I punch you again. Speaking of
which, the skin around your eye has turned a
pretty blue color. Blue like your eyes. Bruise blue eyes.
Hmm... weird. Dammit don't look at me like that, like
you're afraid of me. I hate the hurt in your eyes, and the
fact that I caused it. Wait a second... when did your
arms get around my neck? Why are you making me look into
those eyes? 'Daisuke…' How can you make
something so simple sound so... different? 'I'm sorry.' That
I was not expecting. 'I want to know you so much.
I want to... love you and hold you. I want to be with you.'
That's so like him, trying to play down that punch
like it was no...
Wait.
What?
'Huh?' Oh god, that was stupid...
'I'm sorry. I never meant to care like this...' Yes I got
that already. You look cute like that, with your face so
red I mean, though I suppose my face is worse. 'Do you want
me to leave you alone?'
No I don't want to be alone anymore. 'No,' you smile, then
before I can make a coherent thought, our lips are
touching. It's not a kiss; it's the stairway to heaven, who
would have thought that your lips were so soft.
Well I would, but that's beside the point. Now I know what
you are, I should have known it all along, you
are a seraph. My seraph, to be exact.
The kiss ends and I'm here again. Except now I'm here with
you. I'm not alone anymore, and really, I never
was. God, why was I so stupid? I should have known it all
along. Maybe I was too caught up in my own
feelings to notice it before, but I know now.
You do know me, after all.
A/N: Well I didn't get to update the other story today so I
decided to post this instead. I even turned this in to my
teacher(minus the cursing.) And got a D for inappropriate
material rolls eyes Then parents and other teachers got
involved, needless to say I got an A.
Lanku