Yay, more reviewness! And more reviews equals more story.
But first, to respond to the lovely lady who chose to bestow her gift of reviewness upon me! Riiight...
Rache: Again, thank you SO much for reviewing! A plot hole...that doesn't sound too good. I promise it won't be pointless! I'm glad Liana is getting more human. I was thinking about your review as I wrote that chapter, and I'm sure you influenced me a lot in that respect. Yay for better writing! Lol... Yes, I love that I can do pretty much whatever I want with Lily and Remus' personalities. I've given Lily a kind of excitable-Hermione thing, only with a few tweaks. Remus is just...Remus! What more can I say...he's my favorite character in the books and in this fic. I made Remus' dad seem like kind of an ass there because I wanted to show just how much everyone hated werewolves...kind of a "only a mother can love him" situation. There will be more on that later. As for Remus/Liana, you'll have to wait and see how it unfolds! But I'm glad I haven't made anything really obvious from the very beginning.
Okay, and on with chapter eight!
Chapter Eight
Remus listened as Liana went back to bed. She was very still for a long time, so he knew she was awake. He lay on his side, staring at the wall, and tried to ignore how rude he's just been to her. She didn't know what dream she'd woken him from. She didn't know how resentful he was of her because she hadn't been infected with lycanthropy. She didn't know that he hated himself for being mad at her, and hated her for being so hard to stay mad at...
He sighed heavily and turned to lay on his back. The pillow didn't seem very soft anymore as the dream came back to him, bit by bit. It was more of a memory, he realized. He'd been dreaming almost exactly what had happened the day after the werewolf attack, down to the very details. Even the weather, and the color of his mother's dress, and where his father's wand had been on the grass.
Remus shivered. His father...he hadn't thought about that day in a long time. When he was old enough, he'd confronted his dad about what he'd said, asked him fearfully if he still thought that. The older Lupin had sighed, as if he'd known this day would come, but had dreaded it.
"Sit down, son," Mr. Lupin said quietly, gesturing towards a chair near his own. They were in the living room, where the man had been reading the Daily Prophet by the fire, which was roaring in the grate. The dementors had been by not too long ago, and the Lupins were trying to drive the chill from their home. Remus had forgotten the chocolate his mother had given him; it lay melting in his pocket. But he couldn't forget the sound of his brother's screams, and his father's voice the next day. There had been so much hate projected into that one word...Remus shuddered and sat down, suddenly wondering if he really wanted to know what his father thought of him.
"Remus, the night you and your brother were attacked by the werewolf was hell for your mum and me," Mr. Lupin began, fiddling with the folded-up paper uneasily. Remus sighed almost imperceptibly. 'Your brother.' That's all they ever called him...Beryd's name hadn't been spoken in the house since the day after he'd died. "The next morning, I was still feeling terrible," his father continued. "I was shocked, and horrified, and depressed. I didn't know how to deal with what had happened to your brother, and what had happened to you." He stopped, staring at Remus' right arm as if he could still see the bright white bandage. "Werewolves," he said, suppressing a shudder, "were-and still are-very much feared and hated. I couldn't stand the thought that my son, my own son, had been cursed with that life." He sighed. "I shouldn't have called you what I did. You were so young, you probably didn't understand... I didn't mean what I said, not really. I was trying to deal with all those emotions, and they were so pent-up...I suppose I took it out on you, and that was wrong." He looked his son in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Remus."
Remus nodded, going over everything his father had said. Unsure of what to do next, he got up from his chair and stood uncertainly in the middle of the room. His house had never felt so alien, his father never so much like a stranger... Remus looked around the suddenly unfamiliar room and rubbed his arms nervously. He looked back, and his father was standing, too. Without realizing it, Remus hugged his father tightly.
"I forgive you, Dad," he said quietly, releasing his father and leaving before he could respond.
Remus squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the steady flow of memories. Some were happy, most terrible. Behind them all was that horrible scream, that viscous snarl... The blankets were suddenly very hot and confining, and Remus threw them off. He was about to leave when he remembered that Liana was still awake. He glanced towards her bed; she was staring at him. When she saw him look at her, she quickly turned her head the other way. Remus shivered slightly, but he wasn't quite sure why.
The rest of the night was as sleep-deprived as the first part had been. Remus tossed on his hospital bed, unable to find a comfortable position and unable to fall asleep for fear of more disturbing dreams. He didn't like the fact that his dreams were real; it was very disconcerting to relive an event from his past so vividly. He always woke from them expecting to see the werewolf, or his mother's face, or his father's anger.
Then there was his father. Remus hadn't thought about his conversation with him, or the day he'd called him a monster, in years. He'd left those things behind when he'd forgiven his dad, and he found it annoying that they were pestering him now. Pent-up feelings were pushing to get out: anger at his father for saying such a thing, anger at himself for being such a stupid child, anger at the wolf for killing his brother... Remus suddenly felt the urge to kill something, stab it or wring its neck. His hands itched to relieve his anger through force, and he began to get a headache from keeping them firmly at his side. Sweat was streaming from his face; he could feel the wet pillow whenever he moved his head. He'd never felt this way before, and it scared him. For the first time in his life, Remus wanted to become the werewolf...at least then he'd have an excuse for taking the life of some small, innocent woodland creature. He could blame it on instinct, and no one would be the wiser...
No, he told himself, clenching his fists and taking deep breaths to calm down. I will not give in to some silly emotions. I'm stronger than that. He ran a shaky hand through his sweaty hair and exhaled. There. That was better. He was calm again.
Remus turned to lay on his side again, facing Liana, who was staring at the ceiling. She, too, was breathing deeply, and Remus wondered what was bothering her. He felt a stab of guilt as he remembered how rude he'd been. "Oh, it's you." The words played over and over in his head, mocking him and repeating themselves until they sounded ten times worse than they really were. He suppressed the urge to get up and give Liana a hug, tell her he was sorry and he hadn't meant it, he was just letting out his feelings...
That sounded familiar.
Was she feeling as he'd felt when his father had called him that? Surely he hadn't been that rude...she'd understand, maybe pass it off as part of his half-asleep phase, or even talking in his sleep. She had no reason to be upset over such a silly thing, just a few words...
Remus groaned and turned away from her, feeling miserable again. How could he have said such a thing? He lay perfectly still for a long time, listening to Liana's breathing, wondering if she'd fallen asleep yet. He was pretty sure she hadn't. He sighed and turned onto his back again. This was going to be a long night.
* * *
The morning sun shone brightly into the hospital wing, falsely cheerful as it had been the day after the werewolf attack. Remus groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. He must have fallen asleep sometime towards dawn; the last thing he remembered was Madame Pomfrey running to someone with a bucket, then the sound of hurling. It was a wonderful thing to fall asleep to, to be sure.
The nurse now approached Remus, potion in hand. He turned away and pretended to be asleep.
"Up, Mister Lupin!" she said sternly, standing by his bed with her arms crossed. He didn't move. It was too much trouble to get up...he didn't want to have to face his teachers and fellow classmates just yet. Doubtless the students would pester him about the dementors, provide theories as to how they'd gotten in, and why. Remus didn't want that...he was tired, and his head throbbed in time to his heartbeats. And even after the long night, he could still hear Beryd's screams. Why wouldn't they go away?
But Madame Pomfrey was adamant. When Remus didn't move, she set down the potion and pulled him forcibly to a sitting position, then threw off the covers.
"You're not going to feign sickness to get out of classes today, Mister Lupin," she muttered as she pulled him to his feet. Remus considered falling over to prove how unfit for school he was, but the thought of the hard floor chased that thought from his mind. He merely sighed and allowed the nurse to cram more chocolate in his mouth. He chewed slowly, looking at the potion uneasily. Knowing Madame Pomfrey, it was probably some kind of cheering tonic. He groaned inwardly at the thought of going to all his classes with a goofy grin on his face.
Madame Pomfrey followed his gaze to the bottle.
"Never fear, Mister Lupin, that's not for you," she announced, reading his disgruntled expression. He looked at her curiously, but she pushed him towards the bathrooms without explaining. "Shower! Now, or you'll be late for class!" Remus sighed and trooped to the bathroom, grimacing at the thought of the icy cold water. The nurse always kept it freezing cold, to wake up patients who were unwilling-like Remus.
The nurse watched Remus head for the bathrooms, making sure he actually went in, before turning to Liana, taking the potion with her. She smiled at the girl, who'd been watching the scene with some amusement.
"This is for you, my dear," she said with false exuberance. Liana sat up and reached for the potion, not daring to protest after having already pissed the nurse off by leaving yesterday. It was not a good idea to get on the bad side of the person one trusted with one's health.
"What is it?" she asked carefully, sniffing the vial tentatively. It smelled like Muggle cough syrup, but with something else that she couldn't place. Was it pepper?
"Pepper-up, with a twist," the nurse said cheerfully. "Invented it myself. It'll wake you up, cheer you up, and help dim the effects of that scar, besides." Liana stared at the potion in surprise. Those seemed like very diverse effects. Oh well, she told herself, there isn't much I can do about it. She'd heard many complaints about Pepper-up, so she downed the whole vial in one gulp, trying not to taste it. It burned all the way down.
"Wow!" she coughed, blowing cool air through her mouth. Madame Pomfrey looked amused, even pleased. Was she really that sadistic?
"Such a pity you can't take water with it. Half an hour without food or drink, got it?" Liana nodded wordlessly and scraped her tongue against her teeth, trying to rid her mouth of the flavor. She glanced at the clock on the wall. Half an hour...the flavor probably went away by then, anyway.
By this time, Remus had emerged, dripping and shivering, from the shower. He pulled his bathrobe tighter around him, glad for the charm that kept it warm and dry, and reached for his clothes. Outside the bathroom door, he heard coughing and smiled. Pepper-up, then. He shook his head in sympathy for whoever the recipient was and began to get dressed.
Drier and considerably warmer, Remus emerged from the bathroom rubbing his wet hair with a towel. It hadn't been such a terrible shower, in retrospect, and it had certainly woken him up. The cold water had temporarily driven all other thoughts from his mind, and he looked around the sunny room with new appreciation for what was looking like a beautiful day. He glanced at the clock. If he left now, he'd have just enough time for breakfast. As he passed Liana's bed, he heard Madame Pomfrey tell her to go get in the shower. He threw her a sympathetic smile and disappeared out of the hospital wing before the nurse could give him any pepper-up or (he shuddered at the thought) chocolate. That was the worst thing about dementors...they made a person hate chocolate.
Well, not the worst thing, he thought grimly. Not the worst thing by far. He sighed and jogged down the steps, taking them two at a time; he hadn't realized how hungry he was until the smell of breakfast wafted up to him from the Great Hall.
When he slipped into the Great Hall, it was nearly empty. A few stragglers remained, chewing slowly and looking as if they were about to fall asleep any moment. One girl at the Hufflepuff table was sleeping with her head on her toast. Her owl was pecking impatiently at her hair, trying to deliver a letter so it could find its own breakfast, then get back to the owlery. Remus grinned at the sight and continued on to the Gryffindor table.
The eggs were still warm, due to some wonderful feat of magic, and the toast was crisp and hot. Remus ate quickly, constantly wary in case the food began to disappear before he finished, but he was able to satisfy his appetite with a few minutes to spare. He sighed contentedly and headed for the Gryffindor common room; he still had to get his books for class.
When he got to the common room, he was greeted by smiles and waves from the Marauders and Lily, who were playing Exploding Snap in a corner.
"What about this weather, eh?" Peter said casually as Remus approached. "I've never seen such a sunny day in October!" Remus nodded and hurried up to the dorms to grab his school things. Peter was right; the sun was streaming in through every window, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. But when Remus opened a window to take a deep breath of the fresh air, he found that it was still very cold, despite the sun. He shivered and closed the window, grabbing his cloak as he left the room.
"What's with the cloak?" James asked as Remus returned to the common room.
"I just stuck my head outside-it's actually really cold out." Lily nodded.
"Yeah, the bathrooms were freezing this morning before the fires were lit," she agreed. The conversation went on like that for a few minutes, when it was interrupted by the bell. The five stood, Sirius gathering the cards and slipping them back into their box with a wave of his wand, and ran to get to class on time.
Remus parted ways with his friends to go to Divination, while they went to Arithmancy. He'd tried that subject last year, but found it was not for him. And, although Professor Trelawney scared him a bit, he found he was quite good at Divination. He wasn't sure he believed all he saw, but it was interesting to look at the world through the "inner eye" anyway. Plus, it was an easy class where he could usually catch up on sleep.
The Divination room was worse than usual in the heat from the sun shining on the windows. The fire blazed brightly as ever, its scented flames giving off a smell that brought tears to Remus' eyes when he pulled himself up through the trapdoor. He stumbled half-blind to his usual seat next to Liana, the only other Gryffindor in the class. She was wrinkling her nose at the smell and trying to breathe through a handkerchief, which was doubtless beginning to smell like the room, too. She sighed and stuffed it back into her pocket as the final bell rang and Trelawney emerged from the shadowy back of the room. Remus wondered, not for the first time, what was back there.
"Welcome, pupils," she whispered, her eyes gleaming mysteriously behind her huge glasses. "I have a special treat for you all today." Two Ravenclaws and one Hufflepuff, sharing a table at the front of the room, looked at each other excitedly. The professor continued: "We will be reviewing crystal balls today." The three excited students at the front looked crestfallen. Even Remus was a bit disappointed. They'd done crystal balls for half of their third year, why were they doing them again? Ignoring her students' disappointed faces, Professor Trelawney glided to the back of the room again, emerging once more with a crate of crystal balls. But there was something different about them... Remus could see in between some of the planks of the crate, and he was surprised to note that the fog in the crystal balls was dark red. The professor's eyes twinkled.
"I see you are all intrigued by these different instruments from what we are used to," she said mistily. The three at the front were bouncing excitedly again. "These crystals will show the evil that looms in your future. Perhaps the death of a loved one, or an encounter with intense danger. Most Grims that are seen, are seen in these instruments.
Then why do we use them? Remus wondered. Who would want to see all the horrible things that might happen to them during their life? It sounded a bit pointless to him.
"These are very rare," the professor told them softly. "I had to use my inner eye to locate enough of them for all of you." Liana snorted.
"The internet, she means," she whispered with a giggle. Remus looked at her curiously. The what?
"So please," Trelawney paused dramatically, staring at each student in turn, "please be very careful and delicate with these." Remus sighed and stood with the rest of the class to get a crystal ball. He took it back to his desk and looked at it, intrigued. The dark red smoke was moving swiftly and constantly. There were streaks of black in it, which sometimes came away from the red to swirl away in slender threads. He had to admit, it was very beautiful-if a bit frightening.
"Allow yourselves to relax!" the professor called to her students. "Let the inner eye and your subconscious reign!" But Remus heard her as if from far away. He'd long since learned to slip into the correct mindset for reading the crystal ball, and found it just as easy to do with this new one.
The smoke swirled hypnotically, mesmerizing Remus and making him feel even more tired than before. He didn't bother trying to keep his eyes open; they were stuck in a half-open position, like a lizard, that allowed him to see more without actually seeing much of anything. Various thoughts crossed his mind, but he let them slip away as quickly as they came. He began to feel more and more relaxed, his arms and legs felt very heavy, as he slipped into the realm of the subconscious.
Suddenly, he felt very awake. He opened his eyes and looked around, but the room was obscured by swirling, dark red smoke. He smiled, enjoying the floating feeling that always came with reading the crystal ball, and looked back at the object on his desk. The globe reflected the smoke around him, and he couldn't tell whether he was looking at the mist contained inside, or at the reflections. It didn't matter; the reflections were part of reading the ball. They helped him to discern the shapes, made the figures appear more clearly.
For what felt like a long time, nothing happened. Remus stared at the globe in front of him, not moving. He had no sense of time in this mindset, no sense of boredom. He simply sat. And stared.
Then a figure took shape in the smoke. Remus let it come to him, not trying to look closer or guess at what it was. He'd found long ago that these things worked better when he let them come to him. Sure enough, the figure soon began to walk towards him, growing larger and clearer in the crystal ball, until it was the shape of a man. It was dressed in long robes, and the black threads of smoke Remus had noticed earlier were swirling around it, growing larger and enveloping it. He got the distinct feeling of evil. This was something greatly feared. He watched it for a while, and it slowly reached up to lift its hood... Remus gasped and looked away. The dementor disappeared in a swirl of red smoke.
Feeling guilty about not letting the vision complete itself, Remus looked back to the ball and concentrated on the smoke again. Another shape took shape, presenting itself more quickly than the first had. It stepped towards him delicately, and he recognized Prongs. But why was he seeing his best friend in a ball that depicted only evil? His question was soon answered as the stag disappeared in a flash of light. When the light dissipated, Remus saw the graceful beast collapsed in a heap on a cloud of black smoke. The cloud disintegrated, and the stag fell away into the smoke.
Remus gaped at the swirling mist. Had he just seen-? He swallowed nervously and resisted the urge to turn away as another shape appeared in the smoke. It was a dog this time. The Grim? No, Padfoot-he was sure of it. Don't let him die, Remus prayed silently, almost without realizing it. But Padfoot just stood there, wagging his tail, and for a while nothing happened at all. Then the dementor was back, quite suddenly, appearing next to the dog without warning. It was accompanied by hundreds more of its kind. The dog barked once in fear before it was swallowed up by the cloud of dementors. Remus swallowed, his mouth very dry. He was watching the downfalls of his friends... When another figure appeared in the smoke, he found he couldn't turn away. Who would it be this time?
It was the wolf, the black one he kept seeing around school. She was hunting, it seemed. She leaped, landing on the back of a person who hadn't been there before. She killed him swiftly with her sharp teeth, then turned to look up at someone standing behind her. Remus bit back a scream when he saw who she was wagging her tail at: he was tall, almost as tall as a dementor, and very thin. His papery skin was stretched tightly over his hollow face...but it was no normal face. He had bright red slits for eyes, and the nostrils of a snake. His mouth was undefined, just a slash in his jaw. It spread wide in an approving smile and he reached out to pat the wolf on the head with a bony hand. He disappeared, and another figure took his place, but Remus had stopped watching. He leaned back in his armchair, the face of that evil being frozen in his mind. And the wolf...the vision had been slightly different from the real thing, but he was sure it was the same one. There had been something else about the wolf...he was sure he recognized her from somewhere, but he couldn't place where...
A small scream from next to him burst Remus' concentration. The smoke around him dissipated quickly, and the room returned to normal. Glancing back at his crystal ball, he saw that it was completely devoid of shadowy figures.
Liana was frozen in place, her hand over her mouth. She stared wide-eyed at the crystal ball in front of her, one hand almost touching it. Remus watched her, concern for what terrible things she might be seeing etched on his face. He reached out to touch her and bring her back to reality, but she was already looking away, glancing around the room with red cheeks. A titter went around the class, but Liana ignored them and took a few deep breaths to calm herself.
"Are you okay?" Remus asked quietly. She jumped and turned to stare at him, startled.
"Oh! I'd forgotten you were there. . ." she said with genuine surprise. Remus didn't know whether to feel amused or hurt.
"What did you see?" He regretted asking it as soon as he'd said it, but Liana didn't seem to mind.
"Oh, y'know, the usual," she muttered vaguely, waving a hand casually at her globe. Remus smiled and nodded, glad she hadn't exploded. She was looking rather tense. He glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that class was nearly over. He sighed in relief and stood to return his crystal ball to Professor Trelawney.
"You had detailed visions," she declared quietly as he approached her. He nodded and shrugged, then turned back to his seat to get his things together. He could feel Trelawney staring at his back as he walked away.
But first, to respond to the lovely lady who chose to bestow her gift of reviewness upon me! Riiight...
Rache: Again, thank you SO much for reviewing! A plot hole...that doesn't sound too good. I promise it won't be pointless! I'm glad Liana is getting more human. I was thinking about your review as I wrote that chapter, and I'm sure you influenced me a lot in that respect. Yay for better writing! Lol... Yes, I love that I can do pretty much whatever I want with Lily and Remus' personalities. I've given Lily a kind of excitable-Hermione thing, only with a few tweaks. Remus is just...Remus! What more can I say...he's my favorite character in the books and in this fic. I made Remus' dad seem like kind of an ass there because I wanted to show just how much everyone hated werewolves...kind of a "only a mother can love him" situation. There will be more on that later. As for Remus/Liana, you'll have to wait and see how it unfolds! But I'm glad I haven't made anything really obvious from the very beginning.
Okay, and on with chapter eight!
Chapter Eight
Remus listened as Liana went back to bed. She was very still for a long time, so he knew she was awake. He lay on his side, staring at the wall, and tried to ignore how rude he's just been to her. She didn't know what dream she'd woken him from. She didn't know how resentful he was of her because she hadn't been infected with lycanthropy. She didn't know that he hated himself for being mad at her, and hated her for being so hard to stay mad at...
He sighed heavily and turned to lay on his back. The pillow didn't seem very soft anymore as the dream came back to him, bit by bit. It was more of a memory, he realized. He'd been dreaming almost exactly what had happened the day after the werewolf attack, down to the very details. Even the weather, and the color of his mother's dress, and where his father's wand had been on the grass.
Remus shivered. His father...he hadn't thought about that day in a long time. When he was old enough, he'd confronted his dad about what he'd said, asked him fearfully if he still thought that. The older Lupin had sighed, as if he'd known this day would come, but had dreaded it.
"Sit down, son," Mr. Lupin said quietly, gesturing towards a chair near his own. They were in the living room, where the man had been reading the Daily Prophet by the fire, which was roaring in the grate. The dementors had been by not too long ago, and the Lupins were trying to drive the chill from their home. Remus had forgotten the chocolate his mother had given him; it lay melting in his pocket. But he couldn't forget the sound of his brother's screams, and his father's voice the next day. There had been so much hate projected into that one word...Remus shuddered and sat down, suddenly wondering if he really wanted to know what his father thought of him.
"Remus, the night you and your brother were attacked by the werewolf was hell for your mum and me," Mr. Lupin began, fiddling with the folded-up paper uneasily. Remus sighed almost imperceptibly. 'Your brother.' That's all they ever called him...Beryd's name hadn't been spoken in the house since the day after he'd died. "The next morning, I was still feeling terrible," his father continued. "I was shocked, and horrified, and depressed. I didn't know how to deal with what had happened to your brother, and what had happened to you." He stopped, staring at Remus' right arm as if he could still see the bright white bandage. "Werewolves," he said, suppressing a shudder, "were-and still are-very much feared and hated. I couldn't stand the thought that my son, my own son, had been cursed with that life." He sighed. "I shouldn't have called you what I did. You were so young, you probably didn't understand... I didn't mean what I said, not really. I was trying to deal with all those emotions, and they were so pent-up...I suppose I took it out on you, and that was wrong." He looked his son in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Remus."
Remus nodded, going over everything his father had said. Unsure of what to do next, he got up from his chair and stood uncertainly in the middle of the room. His house had never felt so alien, his father never so much like a stranger... Remus looked around the suddenly unfamiliar room and rubbed his arms nervously. He looked back, and his father was standing, too. Without realizing it, Remus hugged his father tightly.
"I forgive you, Dad," he said quietly, releasing his father and leaving before he could respond.
Remus squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the steady flow of memories. Some were happy, most terrible. Behind them all was that horrible scream, that viscous snarl... The blankets were suddenly very hot and confining, and Remus threw them off. He was about to leave when he remembered that Liana was still awake. He glanced towards her bed; she was staring at him. When she saw him look at her, she quickly turned her head the other way. Remus shivered slightly, but he wasn't quite sure why.
The rest of the night was as sleep-deprived as the first part had been. Remus tossed on his hospital bed, unable to find a comfortable position and unable to fall asleep for fear of more disturbing dreams. He didn't like the fact that his dreams were real; it was very disconcerting to relive an event from his past so vividly. He always woke from them expecting to see the werewolf, or his mother's face, or his father's anger.
Then there was his father. Remus hadn't thought about his conversation with him, or the day he'd called him a monster, in years. He'd left those things behind when he'd forgiven his dad, and he found it annoying that they were pestering him now. Pent-up feelings were pushing to get out: anger at his father for saying such a thing, anger at himself for being such a stupid child, anger at the wolf for killing his brother... Remus suddenly felt the urge to kill something, stab it or wring its neck. His hands itched to relieve his anger through force, and he began to get a headache from keeping them firmly at his side. Sweat was streaming from his face; he could feel the wet pillow whenever he moved his head. He'd never felt this way before, and it scared him. For the first time in his life, Remus wanted to become the werewolf...at least then he'd have an excuse for taking the life of some small, innocent woodland creature. He could blame it on instinct, and no one would be the wiser...
No, he told himself, clenching his fists and taking deep breaths to calm down. I will not give in to some silly emotions. I'm stronger than that. He ran a shaky hand through his sweaty hair and exhaled. There. That was better. He was calm again.
Remus turned to lay on his side again, facing Liana, who was staring at the ceiling. She, too, was breathing deeply, and Remus wondered what was bothering her. He felt a stab of guilt as he remembered how rude he'd been. "Oh, it's you." The words played over and over in his head, mocking him and repeating themselves until they sounded ten times worse than they really were. He suppressed the urge to get up and give Liana a hug, tell her he was sorry and he hadn't meant it, he was just letting out his feelings...
That sounded familiar.
Was she feeling as he'd felt when his father had called him that? Surely he hadn't been that rude...she'd understand, maybe pass it off as part of his half-asleep phase, or even talking in his sleep. She had no reason to be upset over such a silly thing, just a few words...
Remus groaned and turned away from her, feeling miserable again. How could he have said such a thing? He lay perfectly still for a long time, listening to Liana's breathing, wondering if she'd fallen asleep yet. He was pretty sure she hadn't. He sighed and turned onto his back again. This was going to be a long night.
* * *
The morning sun shone brightly into the hospital wing, falsely cheerful as it had been the day after the werewolf attack. Remus groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. He must have fallen asleep sometime towards dawn; the last thing he remembered was Madame Pomfrey running to someone with a bucket, then the sound of hurling. It was a wonderful thing to fall asleep to, to be sure.
The nurse now approached Remus, potion in hand. He turned away and pretended to be asleep.
"Up, Mister Lupin!" she said sternly, standing by his bed with her arms crossed. He didn't move. It was too much trouble to get up...he didn't want to have to face his teachers and fellow classmates just yet. Doubtless the students would pester him about the dementors, provide theories as to how they'd gotten in, and why. Remus didn't want that...he was tired, and his head throbbed in time to his heartbeats. And even after the long night, he could still hear Beryd's screams. Why wouldn't they go away?
But Madame Pomfrey was adamant. When Remus didn't move, she set down the potion and pulled him forcibly to a sitting position, then threw off the covers.
"You're not going to feign sickness to get out of classes today, Mister Lupin," she muttered as she pulled him to his feet. Remus considered falling over to prove how unfit for school he was, but the thought of the hard floor chased that thought from his mind. He merely sighed and allowed the nurse to cram more chocolate in his mouth. He chewed slowly, looking at the potion uneasily. Knowing Madame Pomfrey, it was probably some kind of cheering tonic. He groaned inwardly at the thought of going to all his classes with a goofy grin on his face.
Madame Pomfrey followed his gaze to the bottle.
"Never fear, Mister Lupin, that's not for you," she announced, reading his disgruntled expression. He looked at her curiously, but she pushed him towards the bathrooms without explaining. "Shower! Now, or you'll be late for class!" Remus sighed and trooped to the bathroom, grimacing at the thought of the icy cold water. The nurse always kept it freezing cold, to wake up patients who were unwilling-like Remus.
The nurse watched Remus head for the bathrooms, making sure he actually went in, before turning to Liana, taking the potion with her. She smiled at the girl, who'd been watching the scene with some amusement.
"This is for you, my dear," she said with false exuberance. Liana sat up and reached for the potion, not daring to protest after having already pissed the nurse off by leaving yesterday. It was not a good idea to get on the bad side of the person one trusted with one's health.
"What is it?" she asked carefully, sniffing the vial tentatively. It smelled like Muggle cough syrup, but with something else that she couldn't place. Was it pepper?
"Pepper-up, with a twist," the nurse said cheerfully. "Invented it myself. It'll wake you up, cheer you up, and help dim the effects of that scar, besides." Liana stared at the potion in surprise. Those seemed like very diverse effects. Oh well, she told herself, there isn't much I can do about it. She'd heard many complaints about Pepper-up, so she downed the whole vial in one gulp, trying not to taste it. It burned all the way down.
"Wow!" she coughed, blowing cool air through her mouth. Madame Pomfrey looked amused, even pleased. Was she really that sadistic?
"Such a pity you can't take water with it. Half an hour without food or drink, got it?" Liana nodded wordlessly and scraped her tongue against her teeth, trying to rid her mouth of the flavor. She glanced at the clock on the wall. Half an hour...the flavor probably went away by then, anyway.
By this time, Remus had emerged, dripping and shivering, from the shower. He pulled his bathrobe tighter around him, glad for the charm that kept it warm and dry, and reached for his clothes. Outside the bathroom door, he heard coughing and smiled. Pepper-up, then. He shook his head in sympathy for whoever the recipient was and began to get dressed.
Drier and considerably warmer, Remus emerged from the bathroom rubbing his wet hair with a towel. It hadn't been such a terrible shower, in retrospect, and it had certainly woken him up. The cold water had temporarily driven all other thoughts from his mind, and he looked around the sunny room with new appreciation for what was looking like a beautiful day. He glanced at the clock. If he left now, he'd have just enough time for breakfast. As he passed Liana's bed, he heard Madame Pomfrey tell her to go get in the shower. He threw her a sympathetic smile and disappeared out of the hospital wing before the nurse could give him any pepper-up or (he shuddered at the thought) chocolate. That was the worst thing about dementors...they made a person hate chocolate.
Well, not the worst thing, he thought grimly. Not the worst thing by far. He sighed and jogged down the steps, taking them two at a time; he hadn't realized how hungry he was until the smell of breakfast wafted up to him from the Great Hall.
When he slipped into the Great Hall, it was nearly empty. A few stragglers remained, chewing slowly and looking as if they were about to fall asleep any moment. One girl at the Hufflepuff table was sleeping with her head on her toast. Her owl was pecking impatiently at her hair, trying to deliver a letter so it could find its own breakfast, then get back to the owlery. Remus grinned at the sight and continued on to the Gryffindor table.
The eggs were still warm, due to some wonderful feat of magic, and the toast was crisp and hot. Remus ate quickly, constantly wary in case the food began to disappear before he finished, but he was able to satisfy his appetite with a few minutes to spare. He sighed contentedly and headed for the Gryffindor common room; he still had to get his books for class.
When he got to the common room, he was greeted by smiles and waves from the Marauders and Lily, who were playing Exploding Snap in a corner.
"What about this weather, eh?" Peter said casually as Remus approached. "I've never seen such a sunny day in October!" Remus nodded and hurried up to the dorms to grab his school things. Peter was right; the sun was streaming in through every window, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. But when Remus opened a window to take a deep breath of the fresh air, he found that it was still very cold, despite the sun. He shivered and closed the window, grabbing his cloak as he left the room.
"What's with the cloak?" James asked as Remus returned to the common room.
"I just stuck my head outside-it's actually really cold out." Lily nodded.
"Yeah, the bathrooms were freezing this morning before the fires were lit," she agreed. The conversation went on like that for a few minutes, when it was interrupted by the bell. The five stood, Sirius gathering the cards and slipping them back into their box with a wave of his wand, and ran to get to class on time.
Remus parted ways with his friends to go to Divination, while they went to Arithmancy. He'd tried that subject last year, but found it was not for him. And, although Professor Trelawney scared him a bit, he found he was quite good at Divination. He wasn't sure he believed all he saw, but it was interesting to look at the world through the "inner eye" anyway. Plus, it was an easy class where he could usually catch up on sleep.
The Divination room was worse than usual in the heat from the sun shining on the windows. The fire blazed brightly as ever, its scented flames giving off a smell that brought tears to Remus' eyes when he pulled himself up through the trapdoor. He stumbled half-blind to his usual seat next to Liana, the only other Gryffindor in the class. She was wrinkling her nose at the smell and trying to breathe through a handkerchief, which was doubtless beginning to smell like the room, too. She sighed and stuffed it back into her pocket as the final bell rang and Trelawney emerged from the shadowy back of the room. Remus wondered, not for the first time, what was back there.
"Welcome, pupils," she whispered, her eyes gleaming mysteriously behind her huge glasses. "I have a special treat for you all today." Two Ravenclaws and one Hufflepuff, sharing a table at the front of the room, looked at each other excitedly. The professor continued: "We will be reviewing crystal balls today." The three excited students at the front looked crestfallen. Even Remus was a bit disappointed. They'd done crystal balls for half of their third year, why were they doing them again? Ignoring her students' disappointed faces, Professor Trelawney glided to the back of the room again, emerging once more with a crate of crystal balls. But there was something different about them... Remus could see in between some of the planks of the crate, and he was surprised to note that the fog in the crystal balls was dark red. The professor's eyes twinkled.
"I see you are all intrigued by these different instruments from what we are used to," she said mistily. The three at the front were bouncing excitedly again. "These crystals will show the evil that looms in your future. Perhaps the death of a loved one, or an encounter with intense danger. Most Grims that are seen, are seen in these instruments.
Then why do we use them? Remus wondered. Who would want to see all the horrible things that might happen to them during their life? It sounded a bit pointless to him.
"These are very rare," the professor told them softly. "I had to use my inner eye to locate enough of them for all of you." Liana snorted.
"The internet, she means," she whispered with a giggle. Remus looked at her curiously. The what?
"So please," Trelawney paused dramatically, staring at each student in turn, "please be very careful and delicate with these." Remus sighed and stood with the rest of the class to get a crystal ball. He took it back to his desk and looked at it, intrigued. The dark red smoke was moving swiftly and constantly. There were streaks of black in it, which sometimes came away from the red to swirl away in slender threads. He had to admit, it was very beautiful-if a bit frightening.
"Allow yourselves to relax!" the professor called to her students. "Let the inner eye and your subconscious reign!" But Remus heard her as if from far away. He'd long since learned to slip into the correct mindset for reading the crystal ball, and found it just as easy to do with this new one.
The smoke swirled hypnotically, mesmerizing Remus and making him feel even more tired than before. He didn't bother trying to keep his eyes open; they were stuck in a half-open position, like a lizard, that allowed him to see more without actually seeing much of anything. Various thoughts crossed his mind, but he let them slip away as quickly as they came. He began to feel more and more relaxed, his arms and legs felt very heavy, as he slipped into the realm of the subconscious.
Suddenly, he felt very awake. He opened his eyes and looked around, but the room was obscured by swirling, dark red smoke. He smiled, enjoying the floating feeling that always came with reading the crystal ball, and looked back at the object on his desk. The globe reflected the smoke around him, and he couldn't tell whether he was looking at the mist contained inside, or at the reflections. It didn't matter; the reflections were part of reading the ball. They helped him to discern the shapes, made the figures appear more clearly.
For what felt like a long time, nothing happened. Remus stared at the globe in front of him, not moving. He had no sense of time in this mindset, no sense of boredom. He simply sat. And stared.
Then a figure took shape in the smoke. Remus let it come to him, not trying to look closer or guess at what it was. He'd found long ago that these things worked better when he let them come to him. Sure enough, the figure soon began to walk towards him, growing larger and clearer in the crystal ball, until it was the shape of a man. It was dressed in long robes, and the black threads of smoke Remus had noticed earlier were swirling around it, growing larger and enveloping it. He got the distinct feeling of evil. This was something greatly feared. He watched it for a while, and it slowly reached up to lift its hood... Remus gasped and looked away. The dementor disappeared in a swirl of red smoke.
Feeling guilty about not letting the vision complete itself, Remus looked back to the ball and concentrated on the smoke again. Another shape took shape, presenting itself more quickly than the first had. It stepped towards him delicately, and he recognized Prongs. But why was he seeing his best friend in a ball that depicted only evil? His question was soon answered as the stag disappeared in a flash of light. When the light dissipated, Remus saw the graceful beast collapsed in a heap on a cloud of black smoke. The cloud disintegrated, and the stag fell away into the smoke.
Remus gaped at the swirling mist. Had he just seen-? He swallowed nervously and resisted the urge to turn away as another shape appeared in the smoke. It was a dog this time. The Grim? No, Padfoot-he was sure of it. Don't let him die, Remus prayed silently, almost without realizing it. But Padfoot just stood there, wagging his tail, and for a while nothing happened at all. Then the dementor was back, quite suddenly, appearing next to the dog without warning. It was accompanied by hundreds more of its kind. The dog barked once in fear before it was swallowed up by the cloud of dementors. Remus swallowed, his mouth very dry. He was watching the downfalls of his friends... When another figure appeared in the smoke, he found he couldn't turn away. Who would it be this time?
It was the wolf, the black one he kept seeing around school. She was hunting, it seemed. She leaped, landing on the back of a person who hadn't been there before. She killed him swiftly with her sharp teeth, then turned to look up at someone standing behind her. Remus bit back a scream when he saw who she was wagging her tail at: he was tall, almost as tall as a dementor, and very thin. His papery skin was stretched tightly over his hollow face...but it was no normal face. He had bright red slits for eyes, and the nostrils of a snake. His mouth was undefined, just a slash in his jaw. It spread wide in an approving smile and he reached out to pat the wolf on the head with a bony hand. He disappeared, and another figure took his place, but Remus had stopped watching. He leaned back in his armchair, the face of that evil being frozen in his mind. And the wolf...the vision had been slightly different from the real thing, but he was sure it was the same one. There had been something else about the wolf...he was sure he recognized her from somewhere, but he couldn't place where...
A small scream from next to him burst Remus' concentration. The smoke around him dissipated quickly, and the room returned to normal. Glancing back at his crystal ball, he saw that it was completely devoid of shadowy figures.
Liana was frozen in place, her hand over her mouth. She stared wide-eyed at the crystal ball in front of her, one hand almost touching it. Remus watched her, concern for what terrible things she might be seeing etched on his face. He reached out to touch her and bring her back to reality, but she was already looking away, glancing around the room with red cheeks. A titter went around the class, but Liana ignored them and took a few deep breaths to calm herself.
"Are you okay?" Remus asked quietly. She jumped and turned to stare at him, startled.
"Oh! I'd forgotten you were there. . ." she said with genuine surprise. Remus didn't know whether to feel amused or hurt.
"What did you see?" He regretted asking it as soon as he'd said it, but Liana didn't seem to mind.
"Oh, y'know, the usual," she muttered vaguely, waving a hand casually at her globe. Remus smiled and nodded, glad she hadn't exploded. She was looking rather tense. He glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that class was nearly over. He sighed in relief and stood to return his crystal ball to Professor Trelawney.
"You had detailed visions," she declared quietly as he approached her. He nodded and shrugged, then turned back to his seat to get his things together. He could feel Trelawney staring at his back as he walked away.