Title: Depression
By: Ryan AKA: Star
Summary: Sydney gets sick of her life and falls into depression, will someone be there to dig her out from it? Read and find out!
Disclaimer: It's not mine!
Chapter 2: A Threat to Life
I'm lost in this world. My life is made up of one disaster after another. I was recruited into the CIA during college so I never even got to enjoy college like a normal person. My life was turned upside down before that though.
From the day of my birth I was a mistake. My mom never loved me. She was and still is a KGB officer for Russian intelligence. She was just doing her job, to seduce a CIA agent, my father, for classified Intel. I was just a bump on that road, an unexpected mistake.
You'd think that's enough problems for a while, wouldn't you? But no, when I was 7 my mother dies in a car accident so I live for years praising her and wishing she were still alive, only to find she is. She's alive and well working in espionage once again. My father was never there for me either when I was growing up without a mother. He ignored me because every time he saw me he saw his biggest mistake. So ultimately, I grew up alone.
Then someone wants me, someone actually wants me, SD-6. I drop everything in my life to go and work with them just because they were the first people to ever show interest in me. Years later I'm going to get married and be happy but SD-6 kills my fiancé, Danny. I find out they weren't the good guys, they were bad, and I'd been helping people like my mother, people who kill just to up their status. I wanted out but once you're in one of these lives, there is no out. I joined the CIA instead, as a double agent to help bring the bad guys to justice. I down all this though, and looking back on all this it seems like nothing to what was coming next and what is still to come in my life.
My first day at the CIA I find out that my dad has known all along that I'd been working for the bad guys but he never mentioned that small detail to me. I wasted those years of my life and it could have been avoided. I work my ass off the next year to gain something on sd6 so I can be free. That's where the one good thing in my life helps me, Vaughn. Without him this life would have squashed me up and eaten me years ago. I almost loose this angel of mine though because of a stupid device in Taipei. Will was stupid and got involved in investigating Danny's death and was pulled into this life. He was captured so I needed to save him by trading him for a page showing how to use this lethal weapon. That device doesn't only threaten Vaughn's life once but twice.
Anyway I save both times. The shocker is my mother, Irina Derevko wants to help the CIA suddenly and she turns herself in. She helps and saves my life a few times. I get so tangled in her lies that I begin to trust her, which was the biggest mistake of my life. She ends up betraying the CIA and stealing a valuable Rambaldi manuscript in the process. You'd think, okay screw your mom at least you still have your dad, right? Wrong. I find out when I was six my father programmed me to be a spy. He took away my choices in life.
I turn to my friends then for support. I find out my real friend Francie was killed months back and I'd been living with a double. She'd been right under my nose and I didn't notice. Okay so let's see, everyone so far in my life has lied and played me. There has only been one person who's always done what was best for me, and been there whenever I needed him, Vaughn.
I think to myself now though is that enough? Is just one person enough for me to continue living this life? I'm only in my early 30's and I've already suffered enough to last me a few lifetimes. I just want to be free from it all. I need to escape.
I sit up and look around for a means to end my suffering. I don't find anything but a small shop. I get up and walk over to it. Through the windows I can see all sorts of toys on display including soft, cuddly teddy bears. Just looking at those types of things made me wish I'd settle down and have kids. But there wasn't time. It would never happen now and even if it did the kid would already be set up to fail life with these family genes. There's only one person I'd want to have kids with anyway, Vaughn. Oh, Vaughn. I hope he understands when he finds me that I just couldn't go on. I know he'll blame himself first, but he shouldn't. He's the only one that kept me going this long.
All these things going through my head, I can't take it!!! I smash the glass with my bare hand. The glass shatters and cuts up my knuckles leaving small pieces of glass stuck in them. I cringe in pain but then shake it off. I grab a piece of glass from the ground and hold it in my hand. I lift it over my wrist and am about to slit it but my hand is shaking so much I can't see straight and I can't do it. I don't really want to die I just want help. "I want out!" I scream out loud. I fall to the ground crying immensely. I cover my red-splotched face with my hands and rest them on my knees, tucked up to my chest. I just don't know what to do anymore.
***Don't worry it'll start to have an upside soon. Keep reading plz.
By: Ryan AKA: Star
Summary: Sydney gets sick of her life and falls into depression, will someone be there to dig her out from it? Read and find out!
Disclaimer: It's not mine!
Chapter 2: A Threat to Life
I'm lost in this world. My life is made up of one disaster after another. I was recruited into the CIA during college so I never even got to enjoy college like a normal person. My life was turned upside down before that though.
From the day of my birth I was a mistake. My mom never loved me. She was and still is a KGB officer for Russian intelligence. She was just doing her job, to seduce a CIA agent, my father, for classified Intel. I was just a bump on that road, an unexpected mistake.
You'd think that's enough problems for a while, wouldn't you? But no, when I was 7 my mother dies in a car accident so I live for years praising her and wishing she were still alive, only to find she is. She's alive and well working in espionage once again. My father was never there for me either when I was growing up without a mother. He ignored me because every time he saw me he saw his biggest mistake. So ultimately, I grew up alone.
Then someone wants me, someone actually wants me, SD-6. I drop everything in my life to go and work with them just because they were the first people to ever show interest in me. Years later I'm going to get married and be happy but SD-6 kills my fiancé, Danny. I find out they weren't the good guys, they were bad, and I'd been helping people like my mother, people who kill just to up their status. I wanted out but once you're in one of these lives, there is no out. I joined the CIA instead, as a double agent to help bring the bad guys to justice. I down all this though, and looking back on all this it seems like nothing to what was coming next and what is still to come in my life.
My first day at the CIA I find out that my dad has known all along that I'd been working for the bad guys but he never mentioned that small detail to me. I wasted those years of my life and it could have been avoided. I work my ass off the next year to gain something on sd6 so I can be free. That's where the one good thing in my life helps me, Vaughn. Without him this life would have squashed me up and eaten me years ago. I almost loose this angel of mine though because of a stupid device in Taipei. Will was stupid and got involved in investigating Danny's death and was pulled into this life. He was captured so I needed to save him by trading him for a page showing how to use this lethal weapon. That device doesn't only threaten Vaughn's life once but twice.
Anyway I save both times. The shocker is my mother, Irina Derevko wants to help the CIA suddenly and she turns herself in. She helps and saves my life a few times. I get so tangled in her lies that I begin to trust her, which was the biggest mistake of my life. She ends up betraying the CIA and stealing a valuable Rambaldi manuscript in the process. You'd think, okay screw your mom at least you still have your dad, right? Wrong. I find out when I was six my father programmed me to be a spy. He took away my choices in life.
I turn to my friends then for support. I find out my real friend Francie was killed months back and I'd been living with a double. She'd been right under my nose and I didn't notice. Okay so let's see, everyone so far in my life has lied and played me. There has only been one person who's always done what was best for me, and been there whenever I needed him, Vaughn.
I think to myself now though is that enough? Is just one person enough for me to continue living this life? I'm only in my early 30's and I've already suffered enough to last me a few lifetimes. I just want to be free from it all. I need to escape.
I sit up and look around for a means to end my suffering. I don't find anything but a small shop. I get up and walk over to it. Through the windows I can see all sorts of toys on display including soft, cuddly teddy bears. Just looking at those types of things made me wish I'd settle down and have kids. But there wasn't time. It would never happen now and even if it did the kid would already be set up to fail life with these family genes. There's only one person I'd want to have kids with anyway, Vaughn. Oh, Vaughn. I hope he understands when he finds me that I just couldn't go on. I know he'll blame himself first, but he shouldn't. He's the only one that kept me going this long.
All these things going through my head, I can't take it!!! I smash the glass with my bare hand. The glass shatters and cuts up my knuckles leaving small pieces of glass stuck in them. I cringe in pain but then shake it off. I grab a piece of glass from the ground and hold it in my hand. I lift it over my wrist and am about to slit it but my hand is shaking so much I can't see straight and I can't do it. I don't really want to die I just want help. "I want out!" I scream out loud. I fall to the ground crying immensely. I cover my red-splotched face with my hands and rest them on my knees, tucked up to my chest. I just don't know what to do anymore.
***Don't worry it'll start to have an upside soon. Keep reading plz.