Hermione tossed and turned in her bed. Sleep was just
not coming to her that night. She finally sat up. She
looked out the window that was right by her bed.
Life was so fucked up. She lived with the constant fear that George would tell someone. She couldn't bear for that to happen. Her whole world would end if Harry and Ron found out it really would.
********************
George sat in the common room in front of the roaring fire. It consumed all of his thoughts and pain. He was so intent on the fire he barely heard the door creak but he had heard it. He turned around to see Hermione getting ready to leave the common room.
"Where exactly are you going?"
Hermione turned around with a look of terror on her face. It softened when she realized that it was only George. She was about to become cross with him when she noticed he had been crying. She sat next to him.
"What happened, George?"
"It's over between Alicia and I. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. She's dating some Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. How could she do this to me? Doesn't she know that I love her?"
"Sometimes people don't realize that. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. Sometimes people do things they didn't want to do, George. Sometimes things happen. I'm sorry. Drowning your sorrow in Beer is not going to help you," said Hermione softly.
"I really hate to be the one to bust your bubble, but someone has got to do it sometime. There is no time like the present. Let me drink if it helps me feel better. I'm not the one who runs a knife against my skin. What happened to you Hermione? No one wakes up one day and decides they want to cut on themselves because they have nothing better to do," said George deeply.
"You know what? You keep my secret. I'll cut if I want to and you can drink if you want to. Goodnight."
Hermione tried to get up but his hand stopped her. She just sat there waiting for him to continue.
"Are you trying to die?"
"What?"
"Are you trying to die? When you cut yourself are you trying to die?"
"What does it matter. You don't even know me. If I DID die I bet you would not even come to my funeral," said Hermione.
"Sure I would. Lots of people would."
"Not my Parents."
"Do you do it because of your parents?"
"It's none of your business."
"What did they do to you?"
Hermione looked up at him as if she were seeing him for the first time. No one had asked her that before.
"George, I don't trust you. I really don't even know you. You walked in on me that night. You didn't walk into my life. Stop asking me all of these questions."
"You're wrong. I walked into you're heart that night. I am the only one who can save you from the nothing you've become. The question is, will you?"
"I can't."
"You're not who you pretend to be. You're just scared. You think if you pretend to be the know it all no one will see you and the person you really are. You're scared."
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, okay? You don't even know me."
"Tell me about your family."
"What?"
"We're sitting here. You might as well tell me about your family. You know a lot about mine. You might as well tell me about yours."
"Fine. I have a lot of brothers."
"Yeah, me too, as you know. I know."
"No, you don't know. Family reunions are a mess. Reunion isn't really the right word. Try family feud. It started with my fucked up grandparents on my Father's side. Well my Grandma got a divorce from Grandpa when my Dad was ten years old. She was remarried by the time he was almost eleven. My Grandfather had married practically the day they got divorced. My Dad had three sisters and two brothers, whole siblings. He was the youngest. Then My Grandma had three kids with her knew husband. It didn't affect my Dad too much because he lives with his Dad. All the boys did. My Grandma had taken the daughters. So, she had six kids living with her. My Grandfather had four kids with his other wife. By that time they were all grown. Everyone was having his or her own kids, divorces, affairs, you name it. My Dad and Mom were just like my Grandparents. My Dad had been married twice before he married my Mother. He had two kids from both marriages. So he had four sons. I had two stepmothers. Then he married my Mom. Oh, her family would have none of it. They had three kids before me. I was the last kid they had, well together that is. They recently got divorced because my Father knocked a girl up. Oh, she had a safe delivery, triplets. Oh and before her he had another affair. At least the lady was kind enough to only give him twins. They're three years older than I am. Everyone fights."
"Are you trying to tell me you have, what, nine siblings."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I'll have plenty of half siblings in the future."
"Why do you cut on yourself."
"Why shouldn't I? In my house I feel nothing but pain and craziness. I have been threw a lot and I have to be strong. I am not allowed to be weak. Cutting keeps me strong. It doesn't matter how badly it hurts. Hurting is the best part of it all. For one moment I can escape my pain and I can feel something. See, now? You better stay away from me. I'll mess you up."
"Well, than that's just too bad for you and for me because I'm not going anywhere. I am going to help you. I can't promise I can work a miracle but I'll stand by you. I can promise you that."
"You couldn't help me if your life depended on it. No one can help me. Do you want to know why? I'm impossible. At least that's what my nannies say."
"I'm going to try."
"Look, go on your way and leave me to be. My family is fucked up but they're my family, no matter what they have done to me in the past. Cutting is my way of dealing with it. Not everyone is as lucky as you are George. Do you know what I would give to be you for a day?"
"What the hell are you going on about? I'm not lucky. Why would you want to be me-ever? I'm poor, I'm-"
"You have everything that matters. You can be yourself without worrying every ten minutes you're going to slip. You're friends know you. I mean truly know you. You have two parents who love you. They care about you. They are together. They love eachother. They honor their wedding vows. They see that marriage is something sacred. They raised you. They loved you. You weren't some kid that got in the way. You are part of a family who loves you. All of your siblings love you. You can talk to any of them when you have a problem. They'll listen. My brothers and sisters never talk to eachother or me really because most of their mothers hate eachother. You don't have siblings like that. You're house is full of love. Every year your mom makes you a sweater. She wants you to know she cares. My parents send servants to purchase my presents."
"Everyone is so wrong about you Hermione. Why do you pretend to be like the rest of us? You're not better than the rest of us. You're as bad as Flint was. No you're worse. You're flint in sheep's clothing. Why didn't they just place you in Slytherin?"
"I didn't want to be in Slytherin. I know you think I'm some deceitful bitch but think about me for a second. I can't help it. I am who I am. I didn't ask for it. So, I cover myself up. I'm sorry that I didn't turn out to be the person you think I should be, the person everyone thinks I should be. I'm sorry that you walked in on me that night. You see me as everyone else would if they knew. You see me as a freak, but for some reason that's okay."
George was about to say something but Hermione ran up to her room not giving him a chance to say anything. Even if she had given him a chance to speak he wasn't quite sure what he would have said anyway."
END OF CHAPTER
A/N: I need ideas for this story please!
Life was so fucked up. She lived with the constant fear that George would tell someone. She couldn't bear for that to happen. Her whole world would end if Harry and Ron found out it really would.
********************
George sat in the common room in front of the roaring fire. It consumed all of his thoughts and pain. He was so intent on the fire he barely heard the door creak but he had heard it. He turned around to see Hermione getting ready to leave the common room.
"Where exactly are you going?"
Hermione turned around with a look of terror on her face. It softened when she realized that it was only George. She was about to become cross with him when she noticed he had been crying. She sat next to him.
"What happened, George?"
"It's over between Alicia and I. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. She's dating some Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. How could she do this to me? Doesn't she know that I love her?"
"Sometimes people don't realize that. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. Sometimes people do things they didn't want to do, George. Sometimes things happen. I'm sorry. Drowning your sorrow in Beer is not going to help you," said Hermione softly.
"I really hate to be the one to bust your bubble, but someone has got to do it sometime. There is no time like the present. Let me drink if it helps me feel better. I'm not the one who runs a knife against my skin. What happened to you Hermione? No one wakes up one day and decides they want to cut on themselves because they have nothing better to do," said George deeply.
"You know what? You keep my secret. I'll cut if I want to and you can drink if you want to. Goodnight."
Hermione tried to get up but his hand stopped her. She just sat there waiting for him to continue.
"Are you trying to die?"
"What?"
"Are you trying to die? When you cut yourself are you trying to die?"
"What does it matter. You don't even know me. If I DID die I bet you would not even come to my funeral," said Hermione.
"Sure I would. Lots of people would."
"Not my Parents."
"Do you do it because of your parents?"
"It's none of your business."
"What did they do to you?"
Hermione looked up at him as if she were seeing him for the first time. No one had asked her that before.
"George, I don't trust you. I really don't even know you. You walked in on me that night. You didn't walk into my life. Stop asking me all of these questions."
"You're wrong. I walked into you're heart that night. I am the only one who can save you from the nothing you've become. The question is, will you?"
"I can't."
"You're not who you pretend to be. You're just scared. You think if you pretend to be the know it all no one will see you and the person you really are. You're scared."
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, okay? You don't even know me."
"Tell me about your family."
"What?"
"We're sitting here. You might as well tell me about your family. You know a lot about mine. You might as well tell me about yours."
"Fine. I have a lot of brothers."
"Yeah, me too, as you know. I know."
"No, you don't know. Family reunions are a mess. Reunion isn't really the right word. Try family feud. It started with my fucked up grandparents on my Father's side. Well my Grandma got a divorce from Grandpa when my Dad was ten years old. She was remarried by the time he was almost eleven. My Grandfather had married practically the day they got divorced. My Dad had three sisters and two brothers, whole siblings. He was the youngest. Then My Grandma had three kids with her knew husband. It didn't affect my Dad too much because he lives with his Dad. All the boys did. My Grandma had taken the daughters. So, she had six kids living with her. My Grandfather had four kids with his other wife. By that time they were all grown. Everyone was having his or her own kids, divorces, affairs, you name it. My Dad and Mom were just like my Grandparents. My Dad had been married twice before he married my Mother. He had two kids from both marriages. So he had four sons. I had two stepmothers. Then he married my Mom. Oh, her family would have none of it. They had three kids before me. I was the last kid they had, well together that is. They recently got divorced because my Father knocked a girl up. Oh, she had a safe delivery, triplets. Oh and before her he had another affair. At least the lady was kind enough to only give him twins. They're three years older than I am. Everyone fights."
"Are you trying to tell me you have, what, nine siblings."
"Oh, I'm pretty sure I'll have plenty of half siblings in the future."
"Why do you cut on yourself."
"Why shouldn't I? In my house I feel nothing but pain and craziness. I have been threw a lot and I have to be strong. I am not allowed to be weak. Cutting keeps me strong. It doesn't matter how badly it hurts. Hurting is the best part of it all. For one moment I can escape my pain and I can feel something. See, now? You better stay away from me. I'll mess you up."
"Well, than that's just too bad for you and for me because I'm not going anywhere. I am going to help you. I can't promise I can work a miracle but I'll stand by you. I can promise you that."
"You couldn't help me if your life depended on it. No one can help me. Do you want to know why? I'm impossible. At least that's what my nannies say."
"I'm going to try."
"Look, go on your way and leave me to be. My family is fucked up but they're my family, no matter what they have done to me in the past. Cutting is my way of dealing with it. Not everyone is as lucky as you are George. Do you know what I would give to be you for a day?"
"What the hell are you going on about? I'm not lucky. Why would you want to be me-ever? I'm poor, I'm-"
"You have everything that matters. You can be yourself without worrying every ten minutes you're going to slip. You're friends know you. I mean truly know you. You have two parents who love you. They care about you. They are together. They love eachother. They honor their wedding vows. They see that marriage is something sacred. They raised you. They loved you. You weren't some kid that got in the way. You are part of a family who loves you. All of your siblings love you. You can talk to any of them when you have a problem. They'll listen. My brothers and sisters never talk to eachother or me really because most of their mothers hate eachother. You don't have siblings like that. You're house is full of love. Every year your mom makes you a sweater. She wants you to know she cares. My parents send servants to purchase my presents."
"Everyone is so wrong about you Hermione. Why do you pretend to be like the rest of us? You're not better than the rest of us. You're as bad as Flint was. No you're worse. You're flint in sheep's clothing. Why didn't they just place you in Slytherin?"
"I didn't want to be in Slytherin. I know you think I'm some deceitful bitch but think about me for a second. I can't help it. I am who I am. I didn't ask for it. So, I cover myself up. I'm sorry that I didn't turn out to be the person you think I should be, the person everyone thinks I should be. I'm sorry that you walked in on me that night. You see me as everyone else would if they knew. You see me as a freak, but for some reason that's okay."
George was about to say something but Hermione ran up to her room not giving him a chance to say anything. Even if she had given him a chance to speak he wasn't quite sure what he would have said anyway."
END OF CHAPTER
A/N: I need ideas for this story please!