Crash Bandicoot meets Nazza
N.B. Crash Bandicoot and all related Crash stuff belongs to Naughty Dog and Sony/ Mario belongs to Nintendo/ WARNING to Mario fans (if there are any) this chapter contains "offensive" conversation (offensive to Mario fans only) about Super Mario 64/ Sorry Mario fans (yes, all 3 of you) if this has been inconvenient (but then again, what's a Mario fan doing reading Crash Bandicoot fiction?)/ Nazza is my own creation (obviously)
[CHAPTER 3: UPSTREAM]
It took a while for the mist to disappear. Nazza looked around, and saw that he was standing on grass. To his right was a river that ran down a waterfall.
'Look behind you,' said Crash.
Nazza looked behind him, and saw the waterfall. 'Would you like to jump down there?' Crash asked.
'No, I think I'll go forward,' said Nazza.
'What?' said Crash. 'Walk along the grass?'
'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing?'
'No,' said Crash. 'See those lily pads on the river?'
'Yeah, I see them,' said Nazza.
'We've got to jump onto them,' said Crash.
'You're kidding,' said Nazza.
'Nope,' said Crash. He jumped onto one, then onto another, slowly making his way forward. Coco jumped on one, then another, and another.
'You can walk if you want,' said Coco.
'I think I'll do that,' said Nazza.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After a while, Nazza stopped and looked behind him. Coco was still a few lily pads behind him. 'See up there?' said Coco as she jumped to a lily pad next to him and he started walking again.
'Sort of,' said Nazza.
'Yeah, well,' said Coco, jumping to another lily pad, 'There's a wall up there.'
'Sure,' said Nazza.
'There is,' said Coco, jumping to yet another lily pad.
A few minutes later, Nazza found himself facing a wall. 'Told you,' said Coco as she jumped to another lily pad.
'Here goes nothing,' said Nazza, jumping onto a lily pad.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ten minutes later, Crash stopped, and was standing on a lily pad. Coco came up to the lily pad behind him, and a few seconds later, Nazza was behind Coco.
'Why did we stop?' asked Nazza.
'There's a sea snake in the water,' said Crash.
'What's new,' said Nazza.
'This sea snake can jump.'
'Well, why are we waiting then?' asked Nazza.
'If I jump,' said Crash, 'the sea snake will jump, and kill me.'
'You have three lives, right?' asked Nazza.
'Afraid not,' said Crash. 'Wasted them all.'
'On what?' asked Nazza.
'Super Mario 64,' said Crash.
'Why'd you do that?' asked Nazza. 'Were you drunk? High? Possessed? What made you buy Super Mario 64?'
'Super Mario,' said Crash.
'Tsk-tsk-tsk,' said Nazza. 'How much did Mario give you?'
'He didn't pay me,' said Crash. 'He said he'd kill me if I didn't buy it.'
'How would he kill you?' asked Nazza. 'Sit on you? Shove his nose in your mouth until you suffocate? Set his mushrooms on you?'
'He said he needed money,' said Crash. 'Hardly anyone had bought it.'
'And he threatened to kill you, so you bought it,' said Nazza.
'Yeah,' said Crash. 'But it was put to good use.'
'How?'
'Firewood,' Crash stated.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
'How are we going to get across?' asked Coco, as they floated there on the lily pads, the sea snake slithering below their feet.
'I know!' said Nazza. 'Crash! You know how you do that spin attack?'
'Yeah,' said Crash.
'Well, you could jump, spin, and knock the sea snake out!'
'That's not a bad idea,' said Crash. He jumped, spun, hit the sea snake, and landed on a lily pad.
'Where's Nazza?' asked Coco as she jumped to the next lily pad.
'I think he went for a swim,' said Crash. He pointed at Nazza, who was underwater, wrestling with the sea snake.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Nazza wasn't far behind Crash and Coco. As he jumped from lily pad to lily pad, he looked around. There wasn't much to look at, though.
Soon he came to a stop behind Coco. Crash was nowhere in sight.
'Where's Crash?' asked Nazza.
'He's on a moving lily pad,' said Coco. 'From now on it should be easy cruising.' A moving lily pad appeared out of nowhere, and she jumped on it. It started moving forward.
'This should be better,' said Nazza. He waited for his moving lily pad to appear, then jumped on.
It flew forward, like a rocket. 'Whoa!' cried Nazza. 'This is the best rollercoaster ride I've ever been on!'
The river went through a forest similar to Insanity Beach, and the tree branches kept on hitting Nazza in the face.
'This isn't the best rollercoaster ride I've ever been on,' said Nazza.
For a while no branches were out far enough to hit him in the face, and he could hear someone saying, 'Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOUR BLIND!'
Then the forest disappeared, and the grass started again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Soon the lily pads stopped moving. Nazza could now see Coco and Crash.
Nazza jumped from non-moving lily pad to non-moving lily pad. 'How much longer does this take?' he asked.
'Don't worry,' said Crash. 'This level is much shorter than the other ones.'
After a while there was another waterfall, and a log that helped the three get up the waterfall. Nazza followed the other two up the log. 'Oh no, not more lily pads! Do we have to do this?'
'No, you don't have to,' said Crash. 'You can take a swim.'
Nazza looked at the water, then the lily pads. Water, lily pads. Water, lily pads. Water, lily pads.
'Hurry up!' said Crash. He and Coco were already a few lily pads ahead of him. 'You weren't actually going to jump into the water, were you?'
'Maybe,' said Nazza. 'I'm not sure if I should. Is there anything wrong with the water?'
'I don't think so -' said Crash, but before he could say anything else, he was knocked into the water himself.
'Maybe I should've told him about the fly-trap flower behind him,' said Coco.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
'When are we going to come to the next warp pad?' Nazza whined.
'Soon,' said Crash. 'Not long to go now.'
Crash jumped onto another lily pad, and spun, knocking the Venus fly-trap flower into the water. 'I'm not going to let a Venus fly-trap flower upstage me again,' said Crash. 'Nuh-uh. No way.'
Coco and Nazza jumped to the next lily pad. 'No way,' said Crash. 'Not in a million years.' He jumped to the next lily pad.
'Watch out for the fly-trap flower on the lily pad next to you,' said Coco.
*SPLASH!*
'Too late.'
'Hey Crash!' said Nazza. 'I don't think it's been a million years yet!'
Crash fake-smiled as he resurfaced and climbed back onto the lily pad. 'You're a natural comedian,' said Crash sarcastically.
'I know, I can't help it,' said Nazza. 'I'm just so skilled. I'm glad you recognised that -'
*SPLASH!*
'Watch out for Venus fly-trap flowers behind you as well!' shouted Crash.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
'Is that a warp pad up ahead?' asked Nazza.
'I can't see it properly through the mist,' said Coco.
'It's a warp pad,' said Crash. 'Not soon until we face Papu Papu.'
'Papu Papu?' said Nazza, gulping.
'Yes, Papu Papu's domain,' said Crash.
'Uh, I'll just be, uh, hanging around for a while,' said Nazza.
'Come on,' said Coco. 'It's just a big fat man. Sort of like Santa, without the outfit.'
'Big fat man? Oh, Papu *Papu*. I thought you meant the guy with the big stick.'
'Yes, that's Papu Papu,' said Coco.
'Uh-oh,' said Nazza, gulping again.
'Don't worry,' said Coco as she jumped into the warp pad. 'You'll be fighting with us.'
'Actually,' said Crash as he stepped into the warp pad, 'Papu Papu challenges each player one at a time.'
'Great,' said Nazza, as he stepped into the warp pad. 'That makes me feel *so* much better.'
=======================================================================
I don't actually own Crash Bandicoot, as in the game. I have Crash Bash, but I don't own Crash Bandicoot. I borrowed it off my friend/next-door neighbour earlier this year and finished it, but I can't remember all the levels. If I have made a mistake, please tell me. If you have Crash Bandicoot the game and can send me a list of the levels, I will be happy, and you might even appear as a cameo in a later chapter(
N.B. Crash Bandicoot and all related Crash stuff belongs to Naughty Dog and Sony/ Mario belongs to Nintendo/ WARNING to Mario fans (if there are any) this chapter contains "offensive" conversation (offensive to Mario fans only) about Super Mario 64/ Sorry Mario fans (yes, all 3 of you) if this has been inconvenient (but then again, what's a Mario fan doing reading Crash Bandicoot fiction?)/ Nazza is my own creation (obviously)
[CHAPTER 3: UPSTREAM]
It took a while for the mist to disappear. Nazza looked around, and saw that he was standing on grass. To his right was a river that ran down a waterfall.
'Look behind you,' said Crash.
Nazza looked behind him, and saw the waterfall. 'Would you like to jump down there?' Crash asked.
'No, I think I'll go forward,' said Nazza.
'What?' said Crash. 'Walk along the grass?'
'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing?'
'No,' said Crash. 'See those lily pads on the river?'
'Yeah, I see them,' said Nazza.
'We've got to jump onto them,' said Crash.
'You're kidding,' said Nazza.
'Nope,' said Crash. He jumped onto one, then onto another, slowly making his way forward. Coco jumped on one, then another, and another.
'You can walk if you want,' said Coco.
'I think I'll do that,' said Nazza.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After a while, Nazza stopped and looked behind him. Coco was still a few lily pads behind him. 'See up there?' said Coco as she jumped to a lily pad next to him and he started walking again.
'Sort of,' said Nazza.
'Yeah, well,' said Coco, jumping to another lily pad, 'There's a wall up there.'
'Sure,' said Nazza.
'There is,' said Coco, jumping to yet another lily pad.
A few minutes later, Nazza found himself facing a wall. 'Told you,' said Coco as she jumped to another lily pad.
'Here goes nothing,' said Nazza, jumping onto a lily pad.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ten minutes later, Crash stopped, and was standing on a lily pad. Coco came up to the lily pad behind him, and a few seconds later, Nazza was behind Coco.
'Why did we stop?' asked Nazza.
'There's a sea snake in the water,' said Crash.
'What's new,' said Nazza.
'This sea snake can jump.'
'Well, why are we waiting then?' asked Nazza.
'If I jump,' said Crash, 'the sea snake will jump, and kill me.'
'You have three lives, right?' asked Nazza.
'Afraid not,' said Crash. 'Wasted them all.'
'On what?' asked Nazza.
'Super Mario 64,' said Crash.
'Why'd you do that?' asked Nazza. 'Were you drunk? High? Possessed? What made you buy Super Mario 64?'
'Super Mario,' said Crash.
'Tsk-tsk-tsk,' said Nazza. 'How much did Mario give you?'
'He didn't pay me,' said Crash. 'He said he'd kill me if I didn't buy it.'
'How would he kill you?' asked Nazza. 'Sit on you? Shove his nose in your mouth until you suffocate? Set his mushrooms on you?'
'He said he needed money,' said Crash. 'Hardly anyone had bought it.'
'And he threatened to kill you, so you bought it,' said Nazza.
'Yeah,' said Crash. 'But it was put to good use.'
'How?'
'Firewood,' Crash stated.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
'How are we going to get across?' asked Coco, as they floated there on the lily pads, the sea snake slithering below their feet.
'I know!' said Nazza. 'Crash! You know how you do that spin attack?'
'Yeah,' said Crash.
'Well, you could jump, spin, and knock the sea snake out!'
'That's not a bad idea,' said Crash. He jumped, spun, hit the sea snake, and landed on a lily pad.
'Where's Nazza?' asked Coco as she jumped to the next lily pad.
'I think he went for a swim,' said Crash. He pointed at Nazza, who was underwater, wrestling with the sea snake.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Nazza wasn't far behind Crash and Coco. As he jumped from lily pad to lily pad, he looked around. There wasn't much to look at, though.
Soon he came to a stop behind Coco. Crash was nowhere in sight.
'Where's Crash?' asked Nazza.
'He's on a moving lily pad,' said Coco. 'From now on it should be easy cruising.' A moving lily pad appeared out of nowhere, and she jumped on it. It started moving forward.
'This should be better,' said Nazza. He waited for his moving lily pad to appear, then jumped on.
It flew forward, like a rocket. 'Whoa!' cried Nazza. 'This is the best rollercoaster ride I've ever been on!'
The river went through a forest similar to Insanity Beach, and the tree branches kept on hitting Nazza in the face.
'This isn't the best rollercoaster ride I've ever been on,' said Nazza.
For a while no branches were out far enough to hit him in the face, and he could hear someone saying, 'Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOUR BLIND!'
Then the forest disappeared, and the grass started again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Soon the lily pads stopped moving. Nazza could now see Coco and Crash.
Nazza jumped from non-moving lily pad to non-moving lily pad. 'How much longer does this take?' he asked.
'Don't worry,' said Crash. 'This level is much shorter than the other ones.'
After a while there was another waterfall, and a log that helped the three get up the waterfall. Nazza followed the other two up the log. 'Oh no, not more lily pads! Do we have to do this?'
'No, you don't have to,' said Crash. 'You can take a swim.'
Nazza looked at the water, then the lily pads. Water, lily pads. Water, lily pads. Water, lily pads.
'Hurry up!' said Crash. He and Coco were already a few lily pads ahead of him. 'You weren't actually going to jump into the water, were you?'
'Maybe,' said Nazza. 'I'm not sure if I should. Is there anything wrong with the water?'
'I don't think so -' said Crash, but before he could say anything else, he was knocked into the water himself.
'Maybe I should've told him about the fly-trap flower behind him,' said Coco.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
'When are we going to come to the next warp pad?' Nazza whined.
'Soon,' said Crash. 'Not long to go now.'
Crash jumped onto another lily pad, and spun, knocking the Venus fly-trap flower into the water. 'I'm not going to let a Venus fly-trap flower upstage me again,' said Crash. 'Nuh-uh. No way.'
Coco and Nazza jumped to the next lily pad. 'No way,' said Crash. 'Not in a million years.' He jumped to the next lily pad.
'Watch out for the fly-trap flower on the lily pad next to you,' said Coco.
*SPLASH!*
'Too late.'
'Hey Crash!' said Nazza. 'I don't think it's been a million years yet!'
Crash fake-smiled as he resurfaced and climbed back onto the lily pad. 'You're a natural comedian,' said Crash sarcastically.
'I know, I can't help it,' said Nazza. 'I'm just so skilled. I'm glad you recognised that -'
*SPLASH!*
'Watch out for Venus fly-trap flowers behind you as well!' shouted Crash.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
'Is that a warp pad up ahead?' asked Nazza.
'I can't see it properly through the mist,' said Coco.
'It's a warp pad,' said Crash. 'Not soon until we face Papu Papu.'
'Papu Papu?' said Nazza, gulping.
'Yes, Papu Papu's domain,' said Crash.
'Uh, I'll just be, uh, hanging around for a while,' said Nazza.
'Come on,' said Coco. 'It's just a big fat man. Sort of like Santa, without the outfit.'
'Big fat man? Oh, Papu *Papu*. I thought you meant the guy with the big stick.'
'Yes, that's Papu Papu,' said Coco.
'Uh-oh,' said Nazza, gulping again.
'Don't worry,' said Coco as she jumped into the warp pad. 'You'll be fighting with us.'
'Actually,' said Crash as he stepped into the warp pad, 'Papu Papu challenges each player one at a time.'
'Great,' said Nazza, as he stepped into the warp pad. 'That makes me feel *so* much better.'
=======================================================================
I don't actually own Crash Bandicoot, as in the game. I have Crash Bash, but I don't own Crash Bandicoot. I borrowed it off my friend/next-door neighbour earlier this year and finished it, but I can't remember all the levels. If I have made a mistake, please tell me. If you have Crash Bandicoot the game and can send me a list of the levels, I will be happy, and you might even appear as a cameo in a later chapter(