(Oi. Okay, so maybe I /live/ in hell, but here in hell there is a lot of
wind. And that means.. Tornados... Ech. I am typing this a week after one
of them suckers tore through my block. Luckily I'm okay and my computer is
fine, so on Tuesday, when I get phone and internet back, I'll post this.
Really I will.)
It was a few days later that another person answered Kuroneko's whiny ad, a tough-looking guy in black who looked creepily like a priest and carried a huge cross on his back. Kuroneko opened the door and just stood there, blinking profusely.
"...Please don't tell me you're here to apply for babysitter," he said.
The man frowned. "Why shouldn't I be!?" He growled, somewhat indignant and pissed at Kuroneko already.
"...I saw you drunk at the bar, like, last week."
"I think it says more about you that you were there than it does about me."
".........Come in and meet my damned kid, then."
The two men walked into the living room, and Kuroneko looked around vaguely for Hirei, then motioned for his guest to sit, before remembering that the chairs were incinerated. So instead he turned the gesture into a handshake, which was greeted strongly.
"You probably know my name from the ad," Kuroneko said, "Kuroneko Chikara."
"Nicholas Wolfwood," The new candidate for babysitter smiled a little bit, for some reason, "Actually, a friend of mine was your babysitter last week... I thought I would come down and try my hand at the little one."
Kuroneko shrugged, and the two stood around for a moment in some kind of awkward silence, the kind you get when you put two drinking, smoking, and partying guys in the same room with the knowledge that one of them is going to leave and drink, smoke and party and the other is going to be sitting on their butt all night watching some insane brat. Kuroneko was seriously planning to be the former of the choices and so he grabbed his jacket before Wolfwood could say anything to the affect of giving up and leaving. So once again, before his new babysitter could say a thing Kuroneko was out the door and saying something about giving him twenty bucks an hour or not feeding Hirei peanut butter or something like that.
Wolfwood propped his cross against the wall, looking down the hallway as he leaned against it. He could see four doors from his position in the living room-One to the dining area/kitchen near the front door, and three down the hallway which were theoretically the two bedrooms and a bathroom. One of the doors was covered in drawing, carving, and haphazardly placed pieces of paper with paint all over them. Walking closer, he squinted at the childish scribble to see strangely vivid pictures of fire, blood, and other destruction, along with a lot of strange scribbles that looked like another language. He hadn't heard about any of this from Milly-but then again, Milly had never seen the back of the door seeing as it had been open.
Walking into the room, he looked at the decoration, another thing Milly had failed to do in her pursuit of pulling Hirei's ear. The four walls of the room were covered in yellow wallpaper with blue and red decoration that had a nursery look to it. Strangely, unlike the front of the door, the room was unmarked by any sign of insanity or evil, whatever you want to call it, but for strange singe marks along the bottoms of things, and trails of completely melted carpet running strange, symmetrical patterns along the floor. There was minimal furniture, the curtains hung a bit desolately, and the bed was ragged but very puffy looking. And of course, there was a little girl sleeping in it, in clothes that were extremely large on her.
Wolfwood crept a little closer to the bed, his cross scraping against the burnt marks in the carpet, and looked down at Hirei. She looked calm enough, but of course he had already seen and heard enough to know she was a complete psycho. He took out a cigarette, and then a match, still watching her carefully. Backing into a chair, he used the red-orange painted arm of it to strike the match. Then, of course there was that normal match striking sound-"scritch-Pfooom" But, the "pfoom" part was a lot bigger than normal, reaching the proportions of a small explosion. The flame from the match fairly exploded, so the sound was expectable but no less shocking, as the small match made a flame that was as wide as a normal man and probably taller, leaving a huge scorch mark on the ceiling. Wolfwood dropped the damned match, of course, tossing it toward the bed without thought and jumping back, tripping over the chair he had been standing by. But the huge flame lasted about as long as a normal match flame and once it was gone, he was able to see Hirei sitting on the end of her bed, black eyes flashing dangerously. Or he would have been able to, if he hadn't been sprawled out on the floor about a hundred and fifty percent dazed.
"Nyaaaoooooooooo," Hirei said in her best imitation of Engrish at the moment, before jumping off the bed and landing on Wolfwood's chest, poking his nose with one little claw. "Hie pershon."
Wolfwood blinked, looking up at the innocent little child that he was supposedly babysitting. "Um. Hi."
Hirei poked his nose again, then grabbed each of his cheeks with a hand and started pulling on his face, stretching it considerably while screeching, "HIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," Then jumped back, pulling the still dazed Wolfwood up by the collar and tossing him into a chair.
"You're drunk'd, arentcha? Well you should sit dowwwn a'fore you get sick!" She said, jumping up and balancing herself on one of Wolfwood's legs as he slowly came to his senses and tried to stand.
"I'm not drunk.. I'm fine. Get offa me."
"NU! Drunk'd peoples needa rest!" Hirei said, jumping onto the backboard of the chair and shuffling through the top shelf of the dresser that was behind it, her tail hanging over Wolfwood's head and tickling his nose.
Tickle, Tickle, Tickle, And as Hirei pulled out a length of thick rope, Wolfwood sneezed gigantically, knocking her off balance and she fell backwards, landing on his feet and looking up. It was her turn to be dazed, but it didn't last long. She jumped right back up, freakishly quick and wrapping the rope around Wolfwood and the chair as he continued trying to get up. But in a few seconds, he was tightly tied with thick rope and the little catgirl was sitting on the backboard of the chair again, boredly stretching his face as he yelled and screamed and tried bargaining to be let go.
Then Hirei found the punisher. Not that it was easy to miss, against the wall just waiting for little hands to untie it and take out the many fun firearms inside. And that she did, going "whas' this?" every once in a while, before firing each gun once, as Wolfwood prayed that she didn't decide to point one toward her.
But eventually Hirei got bored, so she left the guns where they lay and went back to torturing her new friend. Then, finished more or less and hungry, she tied a shirt around his mouth and dragged the chair and it's occupant into the closet, then went to get a snack and play "Burn daddy's furniture and rip his curtains as punishment for leaving me with another incapable babysitter," which was what she was playing when Kuroneko came home with an extremely drunk blonde on his arm.
Of course, the blonde didn't stay very long within the walls of this household. And, neither did Wolfwood, once he was found and untied.
This kid was about ready to get kicked offa the freaking planet. Kuroneko- sama continued her search...
(Bwaha. I tied Wolfwood up. Go meeee)
It was a few days later that another person answered Kuroneko's whiny ad, a tough-looking guy in black who looked creepily like a priest and carried a huge cross on his back. Kuroneko opened the door and just stood there, blinking profusely.
"...Please don't tell me you're here to apply for babysitter," he said.
The man frowned. "Why shouldn't I be!?" He growled, somewhat indignant and pissed at Kuroneko already.
"...I saw you drunk at the bar, like, last week."
"I think it says more about you that you were there than it does about me."
".........Come in and meet my damned kid, then."
The two men walked into the living room, and Kuroneko looked around vaguely for Hirei, then motioned for his guest to sit, before remembering that the chairs were incinerated. So instead he turned the gesture into a handshake, which was greeted strongly.
"You probably know my name from the ad," Kuroneko said, "Kuroneko Chikara."
"Nicholas Wolfwood," The new candidate for babysitter smiled a little bit, for some reason, "Actually, a friend of mine was your babysitter last week... I thought I would come down and try my hand at the little one."
Kuroneko shrugged, and the two stood around for a moment in some kind of awkward silence, the kind you get when you put two drinking, smoking, and partying guys in the same room with the knowledge that one of them is going to leave and drink, smoke and party and the other is going to be sitting on their butt all night watching some insane brat. Kuroneko was seriously planning to be the former of the choices and so he grabbed his jacket before Wolfwood could say anything to the affect of giving up and leaving. So once again, before his new babysitter could say a thing Kuroneko was out the door and saying something about giving him twenty bucks an hour or not feeding Hirei peanut butter or something like that.
Wolfwood propped his cross against the wall, looking down the hallway as he leaned against it. He could see four doors from his position in the living room-One to the dining area/kitchen near the front door, and three down the hallway which were theoretically the two bedrooms and a bathroom. One of the doors was covered in drawing, carving, and haphazardly placed pieces of paper with paint all over them. Walking closer, he squinted at the childish scribble to see strangely vivid pictures of fire, blood, and other destruction, along with a lot of strange scribbles that looked like another language. He hadn't heard about any of this from Milly-but then again, Milly had never seen the back of the door seeing as it had been open.
Walking into the room, he looked at the decoration, another thing Milly had failed to do in her pursuit of pulling Hirei's ear. The four walls of the room were covered in yellow wallpaper with blue and red decoration that had a nursery look to it. Strangely, unlike the front of the door, the room was unmarked by any sign of insanity or evil, whatever you want to call it, but for strange singe marks along the bottoms of things, and trails of completely melted carpet running strange, symmetrical patterns along the floor. There was minimal furniture, the curtains hung a bit desolately, and the bed was ragged but very puffy looking. And of course, there was a little girl sleeping in it, in clothes that were extremely large on her.
Wolfwood crept a little closer to the bed, his cross scraping against the burnt marks in the carpet, and looked down at Hirei. She looked calm enough, but of course he had already seen and heard enough to know she was a complete psycho. He took out a cigarette, and then a match, still watching her carefully. Backing into a chair, he used the red-orange painted arm of it to strike the match. Then, of course there was that normal match striking sound-"scritch-Pfooom" But, the "pfoom" part was a lot bigger than normal, reaching the proportions of a small explosion. The flame from the match fairly exploded, so the sound was expectable but no less shocking, as the small match made a flame that was as wide as a normal man and probably taller, leaving a huge scorch mark on the ceiling. Wolfwood dropped the damned match, of course, tossing it toward the bed without thought and jumping back, tripping over the chair he had been standing by. But the huge flame lasted about as long as a normal match flame and once it was gone, he was able to see Hirei sitting on the end of her bed, black eyes flashing dangerously. Or he would have been able to, if he hadn't been sprawled out on the floor about a hundred and fifty percent dazed.
"Nyaaaoooooooooo," Hirei said in her best imitation of Engrish at the moment, before jumping off the bed and landing on Wolfwood's chest, poking his nose with one little claw. "Hie pershon."
Wolfwood blinked, looking up at the innocent little child that he was supposedly babysitting. "Um. Hi."
Hirei poked his nose again, then grabbed each of his cheeks with a hand and started pulling on his face, stretching it considerably while screeching, "HIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," Then jumped back, pulling the still dazed Wolfwood up by the collar and tossing him into a chair.
"You're drunk'd, arentcha? Well you should sit dowwwn a'fore you get sick!" She said, jumping up and balancing herself on one of Wolfwood's legs as he slowly came to his senses and tried to stand.
"I'm not drunk.. I'm fine. Get offa me."
"NU! Drunk'd peoples needa rest!" Hirei said, jumping onto the backboard of the chair and shuffling through the top shelf of the dresser that was behind it, her tail hanging over Wolfwood's head and tickling his nose.
Tickle, Tickle, Tickle, And as Hirei pulled out a length of thick rope, Wolfwood sneezed gigantically, knocking her off balance and she fell backwards, landing on his feet and looking up. It was her turn to be dazed, but it didn't last long. She jumped right back up, freakishly quick and wrapping the rope around Wolfwood and the chair as he continued trying to get up. But in a few seconds, he was tightly tied with thick rope and the little catgirl was sitting on the backboard of the chair again, boredly stretching his face as he yelled and screamed and tried bargaining to be let go.
Then Hirei found the punisher. Not that it was easy to miss, against the wall just waiting for little hands to untie it and take out the many fun firearms inside. And that she did, going "whas' this?" every once in a while, before firing each gun once, as Wolfwood prayed that she didn't decide to point one toward her.
But eventually Hirei got bored, so she left the guns where they lay and went back to torturing her new friend. Then, finished more or less and hungry, she tied a shirt around his mouth and dragged the chair and it's occupant into the closet, then went to get a snack and play "Burn daddy's furniture and rip his curtains as punishment for leaving me with another incapable babysitter," which was what she was playing when Kuroneko came home with an extremely drunk blonde on his arm.
Of course, the blonde didn't stay very long within the walls of this household. And, neither did Wolfwood, once he was found and untied.
This kid was about ready to get kicked offa the freaking planet. Kuroneko- sama continued her search...
(Bwaha. I tied Wolfwood up. Go meeee)