A/N: I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out, but I was kind of at a loss at what to write! I mean, I know my whole plot and how the story's going to turn out, but I just don't know how to get there in the first place… Go ahead and call me an awful author – I am!
*
"Lily, are you up yet, honey?" called a soft voice.
It was a familiar voice, but it was that of a man. Lily smiled to herself and pretended to be asleep. She slid down under the covers of her bed so that only the top of her auburn hair was visible.
"Lily, oh, come on, Lily! I know that game." There was a pause, and then, "I say, you aren't really asleep, are you?"
Lily heard the man's footsteps as he walked around the bed to the side where she was sleeping. He must have stooped down because she could feel his breath on her forehead, where it was visible. She braced herself, and sure enough, he lifted the covers off of her face. She resisted the temptation to open her eyes. She felt his warm hand on her cheek, and she lifted her hand to touch his. She smiled once more. He leaned forward some more, and with a swift movement, the distance between their lips was reduced to nothing, and he kissed her, sending a tingling warmth through her body.
Lily opened her eyes, and smiled up at him. She pulled back slowly and reluctantly. It was James Potter. Then, in a moment, the figure transformed and it was no longer James in front of her; it was Severus. She let out a gasp of horror which no one could hear. He cackled, and pointed at her, laughing. Then, there was a blinding white light and he disappeared. In his place stood Lord Voldemort, his wand pointed at her.
"Thank you, Mudblood. Thank you, for listening to Snape – for bringing me the one person I wanted more than anything else – James Potter…"
He swished his cloak and Lily saw the dead body of James on the ground. She let out a scream of terror and in a flash, the scenario dissolved around her, until she was lost in a world of blackness – falling… falling… falling…
*
Lily sat up panting and sweating. She didn't know what had possibly possessed her to have a dream like that. She bounded out of bed and went into the bathroom. She turned the faucet on and splashed her face with water. She looked up in the mirror, at her twenty-two-year-old self. Her flyaway red hair was tangled and her emerald eyes were surrounded by red. Her head was pounding. She reached in the cupboard next to the sink and pulled out some Muggle medicine. She found that it invariable worked better for her than spells and charms.
"Damn it, why couldn't it have been a weekend?" she muttered to herself as she struggled to get a few pills out of the bottle.
She accidentally knocked the bottle out of her own hands, and the pills went flying all over the floor. She cursed and went down on her knees. As she picked the pills up, she was struck with a novel idea. Carefully, she picked up those that had not yet broken and placed them aside. The rest she threw away. What did it matter that the label around the neck of the bottle said not to take more than two every four hours? Lily carefully picked up all the pills and shoved them in her mouth, swallowing them swiftly with a glass of water.
Gasping, she set down the glass hard on her bedside table. It broke. She cursed again, but couldn't be bothered to clean up, for a sudden drowsiness had overcome her. She staggered back towards her bed to lie down. She was out cold before her head hit the pillow.
*
"Lily, wake up! Oh, damn it, Lily, wake up already! Jeez, what have you done to yourself! Lily, wake up!"
Lily heard the voice yelling at her, but only barely. It was too far away, coming from a world that she could not enter. She tried to open her eyes but her eyelids felt too heavy. She tried to open her mouth, but instead of words, blood gushed out.
"Jeez, Lily, what's happened to you? You're spitting out blood, Lily. What have you done?"
The man talking to her walked into her bathroom and brought some water. He sprinkled a little on her face, but when that didn't work, he dumped the whole lot of it on her. She sat up, coughing and spluttering. Once more, she regurgitated blood onto her white quilt.
"Lily, what's wrong?"
Lily opened her eyes, waiting a moment for everything to come into focus. But when it did, she had pinch herself and blink again and again to make sure that she wasn't asleep. She reached out for the man's face, and found her touching it – he was real.
"Severus, is it really you – Severus Snape?"
"Lils, it's me. Were you expecting someone else? Lily, what've you done to yourself? Here, lay back down. You're sick or something – what did you do?"
"I had a headache so I took some pills. That's all," Lily said, looking down as she backed up against the headboard of her bed.
"Some, or did you take more than was required in a deliberate attempt to kill yourself, hmm?" he asked, bringing her a glass of water.
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. But what are you doing here?"
Severus gave a deep sigh as he handed her the glass. She took it reluctantly but drank it down quickly, and set it down on the table. This time, she took care not to break it. Severus looked up at her. He brought his hand to her face and brushed a stray hair out of her face.
"You have to promise not to be angry. I did what I did because I thought it was for the best. I thought I was doing the right thing. I've learnt from my mistakes, now. What's happened has happened, and I can't change it. But I can take care to plan my future, now."
"Sev, what's this all about?" Lily asked, getting worried.
She was still spewing up blood, but the water had helped – and so had the fact that Severus was finally back. He had helped her more than he would ever know.
"I went to the Dark Lord. You know I did. I went with Caraway, but God knows what happened to him. I never saw him after that. Some say he was killed in a Ministry attack. I don't know what the truth is. But I do know that I'm never going back there again. Lily, to tell you the plain and simple truth, I became a Death Eater. I've still got that ruddy Dark Mark on my arm – you can see it if you want. But I was caught in a Ministry attack and they tried me and everything, and they said I was free to go."
"What – they let you go, even though you'd been a Death Eater?" Lily asked, shocked.
"They didn't let me go without a price. I did have to spend two months in Azkaban. Though, that was just because there was no where else to keep me while everyone was debating what to do with me. And, well, I wasn't really let free – Dumbledore, remember him? He offered me a job – he said he'd give me a second chance. I'm a teacher, now, Lily. Can you believe it? Me, Severus Snape, no – Professor Snape, Potions Master of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…"
"You think this is all some kind of a joke, don't you, Sev?" Lily said suddenly.
"Lily, I –"
"Sev, I sent you five letters every year. And you sent me two letters out of all the five years since we left school. And I would read both of those letters ten times everyday. So, tell me, Professor Snape, how many times would I have read them in a year?" Lily taunted.
"Um –"
"And in five years… Thirty-six-thousand, and five-hundred times – and Severus, tell me this. I thought about you every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day, and every day of every year. How many seconds are there in five years, Sev? How many times did I think of you?"
"Lily, I –"
"One-hundred-fifty-seven-million, sixty-eight-thousand times, Severus – and you send me two letters? I doubt you even thought of me. I doubt you even cared to open those letters. I know you got them, my owl tells me that much. Even he knows my every thought and my every feeling, whereas you just walk off with your stupid Lord Voldemort and your skull on your arm feeling as proud as can be when you're nothing but a stupid little ungrateful git!"
"Lily, calm down. I thought of you every moment of my life – every time I took a breath. Lily, you have no idea how many times I thought of you, or how many moments there were when I thought of how much I would rather be home with you rather than out there where I never know whether I'll be alive for the next second or not. Not even you know how many lonely moments I had – every millisecond of every second, every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day, every day of every week, every week of every month, every month of every year – for five whole years, Lily."
"Are you telling the truth?" Lily asked, tears now running down her face.
"Yes, Lily, I am," he said, wiping her tears away with his fingers.
She gave him a weak smile, and then wiped away her tears on her own. She got up from the bed and muttered something about making tea and walked away.
"Fifteen-billion, seven-hundred-sixty-eight-million…" Severus muttered to himself as he got up.
*
A/N: Sorry for all the numbers – I didn't mean for that to be confusing. And just to make matters straight, since I've given up on disclaimers, I got an idea for this chapter from a movie. Sorry this is so short, but if you review maybe I'll make longer ones!