I've written short fics before. I've written a humor fic. But now it is time for my short humor fic. At least, I think it's funny.
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.
How The Dwarves Convinced Him, Really
One day Bilbo Baggins sat smoking his pipe on a hill in the Shire. Then Gandalf came along and blew a smoke ring.
"You think that impresses me? I can blow a smoke ring too." And he does.
"I can blow a smoke Shire, so don't even try it." And he does.
Bilbo sighs, admitting that the smoke Shire was accurate, and the best he could do was a smoke goldfish. "Good morning."
"What does that mean? Do you mean morning is good, or it is a good morning to be good on, or it is good that it is morning, or it has been a good morning, or it will be a good morning, or you want it to be a good morning, or you want me to have a good morning, or you it was a good morning and you wish it was good again but it won't be until I leave?"
"Geez, all I said was good morning."
"I'm expecting some people for tea. Can we go inside? Great."
"You didn't even wait for an answer. Hey, what are you doing inviting people to *my* house? You big-"
"Can I hang a sign on your door?"
"Uh, sure. What does it say?"
"Thief for hire."
"Oh, okay. Wait, what? Where is there a thief for hire. I don't want any thieves in my house."
"Calm down. The sign is referring to you."
Bilbo went inside and started to eat a slice of cake. Then he ate another, and another.
Soon, a bunch of dwarves showed up at the door. They came in and introduced themselves, their names Dwalin, Balin, Kili, Fili, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, and Thorin.
After eating most of his food and threatening to break all his dishes, Thorin said to him, "We used to have lots of gold and treasure, but now it's all in Smaug's cave. We need a thief, and according to the sign, that's you. Come help us get our stuff back."
"No!"
"Please?"
"No! I'm a hobbit, I don't want adventure, I want to stay here and be safe and snug in my hobbit-hole! And maybe have another slice of cake!"
"Aw, come on. We might give you some stuff if you help us."
"All right then."
End.
So what did you think? Please Review. If you want me to continue, then say so in your review. Yo.
Plaidly
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em.
How The Dwarves Convinced Him, Really
One day Bilbo Baggins sat smoking his pipe on a hill in the Shire. Then Gandalf came along and blew a smoke ring.
"You think that impresses me? I can blow a smoke ring too." And he does.
"I can blow a smoke Shire, so don't even try it." And he does.
Bilbo sighs, admitting that the smoke Shire was accurate, and the best he could do was a smoke goldfish. "Good morning."
"What does that mean? Do you mean morning is good, or it is a good morning to be good on, or it is good that it is morning, or it has been a good morning, or it will be a good morning, or you want it to be a good morning, or you want me to have a good morning, or you it was a good morning and you wish it was good again but it won't be until I leave?"
"Geez, all I said was good morning."
"I'm expecting some people for tea. Can we go inside? Great."
"You didn't even wait for an answer. Hey, what are you doing inviting people to *my* house? You big-"
"Can I hang a sign on your door?"
"Uh, sure. What does it say?"
"Thief for hire."
"Oh, okay. Wait, what? Where is there a thief for hire. I don't want any thieves in my house."
"Calm down. The sign is referring to you."
Bilbo went inside and started to eat a slice of cake. Then he ate another, and another.
Soon, a bunch of dwarves showed up at the door. They came in and introduced themselves, their names Dwalin, Balin, Kili, Fili, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, and Thorin.
After eating most of his food and threatening to break all his dishes, Thorin said to him, "We used to have lots of gold and treasure, but now it's all in Smaug's cave. We need a thief, and according to the sign, that's you. Come help us get our stuff back."
"No!"
"Please?"
"No! I'm a hobbit, I don't want adventure, I want to stay here and be safe and snug in my hobbit-hole! And maybe have another slice of cake!"
"Aw, come on. We might give you some stuff if you help us."
"All right then."
End.
So what did you think? Please Review. If you want me to continue, then say so in your review. Yo.
Plaidly