Title: Awakening the Phoenix
Author: Centauri2002
Feedback: Pretty please. Good or bad, I welcome it all. Hugs all round to those who do. Email is centauri2002@environment21.fsnet.co.uk or just leave feedback here.
Spoiler Warning: Absolutely none.
Disclaimer: The characters of BtVS belong to Joss Whedon, ME, and co. I am only borrowing them, yada, yada, yada. However, if I did own them the fans would be a heck of a lot happier and maybe I should just sue you, Joss, for wrecking a damn good show. Ahem, anyway.
Couples: Ah, you'll have to find out.
Rating: PG-13. Though, no doubt, it will venture into NC-17 territory.
Summary: This chapter takes place a week later. Whilst Tara makes new friends, Willow ponders her discontentment.
Authors Notes: This story is completely AU. Willow and Tara have never met (a storyline which I like to write about) and the Slayer isn't the all feared person she was in the show. This idea just popped into my head one morning and I had to write about it.
Dedication: To all the kittens, who make writing such wonderful fan fiction possible. I have received much inspiration from many kitties and I want to thank you all. And to my beta reader, Paul, who is an absolute saint!
Chapter 1
It seemed as though she had been in this hellish place for months but she guessed it had only been a week or so. She had given up counting the days and nights after a few cycles. There didn't seem to be a point. Now, she sat up against the wall she had begun to call home. She had long ago lost the blanket she had been given when she first arrived here and spent the endless nights shivering. She had had a certain amount of hope at first but it soon dissipated when she saw how the people here lived and how they considered this existence a normal way of life. It sickened her.
She tucked her feet up close to her body and hugged her knees to her chest, trying to keep all her body warmth to herself. She remembered nights when she would be cold or scared and her mother would hold her and hum a lullaby that would soothe her. Those nights had been filled with comforting dreams but now her mind was filled only with nightmares. She had to stop herself from crying again as she thought of her mother. When the demons had advanced on her and her mother, she had been knocked unconscious and had never seen her since. She didn't want to think of her mother as dead but with each passing day, it seemed unlikely that they would see one another again.
She sniffed back the tears and wiped stray whispers of blonde from her face. She was still in a surprisingly neat state in comparison to the other inhabitants and she was determined to stay that way. Her mother would be disappointed with her if she allowed herself to fall into disarray. She would never disappoint her mother, not even her memory. She had also lost weight since arriving here, due to the fact that most of her meals had been stolen. She hadn't eaten as well as her first day here and that was only because of the woman that stood up to the man who had tried to take her bowl.
She thought back to that flame haired woman. The vibrant colour of the woman's hair had captivated her and she had found herself wondering if it would be even brighter if properly cared for. She didn't know why the redhead had stood up for her that day and she had never had the chance to ask her. The man she had been facing had punched the woman in the jaw and knocked her unconscious. She had immediately gone to the woman's side but a friend of the redhead's had come and taken her away after knocking the attacker flat on his back.
She had managed to get a close look at the redhead's face though and even caught a glimpse of the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen. She had always thought she would never be able to find more enchanting eyes than those of her mother's but she had so clearly been wrong. Those eyes had closed all too soon and she had wanted to reach out and caress the smooth cheek of the redhead. However, her blonde friend had come and she had decided to avoid another confrontation. She had quickly backed away and moved to 'her spot' to eat the disgusting meal the redhead had fought for her to keep.
She wondered if the blonde woman was the redhead's lover. She had been very protective of the redhead and it was possible. That made Tara feel envious and she hated the feeling. Then, another thought struck her that made her feel even worse. What if she doesn't even like women? Not everyone's like you, Tara. It didn't really matter anyway, she hadn't seen the redhead since that day. She had been forced into manual labour and all her free time was spent sleeping as best she could. She hadn't even been given the chance to be friends with her hero. Hero? Hmm, yes, she's my hero. She thought, a little too happily for her own liking.
Movement nearby caught her attention and she looked to her left where a tall woman was standing, watching her. Long brown hair was tied back behind the woman's head and her attractive features showed amusement. Grey eyes locked with her own and the slim woman walked towards her, stepping over sleeping bodies. The stranger wore a short-sleeved top and dark trousers that showed off her lithe form. Silently, she crouched down in front of Tara and continued staring at her. She couldn't have been more than a few years older than Tara.
"W-What?" Tara asked, the level gaze making her feel uncomfortable.
The brunette's expression hadn't changed. She continued to look amused, though she didn't smile. "You looked like you were in another world for a minute there." The woman commented, her voice emotionless.
Tara looked at her, searching for a purpose in the woman's eyes. The brunette hid her feelings well and Tara guessed she only let others see what she wanted them to see. However, this woman didn't know Tara could read auras and the brunette's was clear to her. She didn't seem to be threatening to Tara but she was worried by the splattering of black in her aura. She suspected the brunette wasn't one of the nicest people around.
"Oh, where are my manners?" The brunette finally blinked, ending the stare, which Tara had begun squirming under. "I'm Kristen." She extended her hand.
Tara looked down at the hand and decided it wouldn't harm her to remain civil. After all, her mother had taught her to be polite, even if that person didn't deserve it. She grasped the hand lightly, feeling it flex under her own and betraying the strength it held. "T-Tara." She stuttered out her name.
Still unsmiling, Kristen stood. "Nice to meet you, Tara." She glanced around her. "So, how are you liking our fair abode?"
Tara studied the brunette's face. She's joking right? She doesn't look like she's joking. "It's n-n-nice." She said, not sure if she would offend by telling the truth or not.
Kristen snorted. "Right."
Tara was just about to ask the woman what she wanted when something distracted her. A flash of red caught her eye and she immediately looked in that direction, the brunette all but forgotten. Her heart fluttered as she watched the familiar redhead move across the warehouse towards a make shift tent. She couldn't help but smile as she watched the purposeful stride and the way the red hair bobbed around her face as she walked. She considered going after her and thanking her for helping her but doubted the redhead would even remember her. Who would ever remember a bumbling idiot like me?
"You wanna be careful who you associate yourself with." Kristen's voice cut through her thoughts and as she looked at the brunette, she could tell the other woman had been following her gaze.
"Why?" Tara asked.
Kristen looked back at her. "There are some trouble makers around." She jerked a thumb behind her. "Especially that one and her friend."
Tara looked back to where she had last seen the redhead but she had disappeared. Her heart sunk and she felt a sense of loss. She wasn't sure if she believed Kristen. After all, the redhead had saved her meal and she couldn't believe the beautiful woman was capable of hurting anyone. Her aura was too pure.
"If you ever need some company." Kristen started, turning and walking away. "I'll be over here."
Tara watched as the brunette made her way to a crowd of people who all greeted her as she neared. Some of them were looking over at Tara with mixed expressions. Some were welcoming, others were detached, and some she even thought were frozen in a jealous glare. Kristen sat down next to a tent made from blankets and looked pointedly at Tara. It did seem appealing and it would be good to have some friends. She had been getting so lonely lately and was missing her mother more and more. The decision made, she stood and made her way towards her new friend.
*
Willow made her way back to the tent she suspected Buffy was sleeping in. She hoped her friend was alone as she just couldn't be bothered with getting all embarrassed again by interrupting something. She had just come back from a long shift of moving stones underground in the demons' new 'kingdom'. Her muscles were sore and she had received several scrapes along her forearms. She just wanted to curl up and go to sleep in a warm place. A nice warm blonde place. Willow froze. Whoa, where did that thought come from? She ignored it and decided it was best not to linger on it. She was tired and, she rationalised, probably delusional.
She lowered herself carefully to the ground when she reached her friend's tent, careful not to strain any of her delicate muscles. She let out an exhausted breath as she settled on her blanket. It was amazing how comfortable the grubby piece of material felt after a long day being used as slave labour. She ran her hands over her calf muscles, massaging the flesh there. She allowed her eyes to flutter closed for a moment as she enjoyed the relief. When she opened them again she found herself looking at the blonde beauty she had saved from the spindly man only a week ago. She was walking across the warehouse towards a group of people. To Willow's dismay, she recognised those people as a gang of unsavoury characters who liked to think of themselves as the dominant ones in this living area. The problem with that was they were right. Buffy and she had had some run ins with them before and the outcome had never been pleasant. More often than not, Willow had come away with cuts and bruises whilst Buffy had broken a few of the gang's bones. Willow began to consider herself as a human punch bag.
Now, it seemed that the blonde had made friends with that gang and that would mean she would soon hate Willow. Anyone who joined that group did. Especially that Kristen Zinscher. She didn't like people standing up to her. Seeming as Buffy was the one who did, Willow would receive the gang's punishment. It didn't seem fair to her. Not fair at all. She frowned as the blonde woman sat down, disappearing from view. The frown turned to a scowl as the soreness of her body came to the forefront now the woman had left her vision. Definitely not fair.
"Hey, Will. What's up?" Came Buffy's voice and Willow turned to see the blonde's head peeking out from the tent.
Willow tried to lift her expression but to no avail. "Oh, nothing. Just sore." She looked thoughtfully at the tent. "You got company?"
Buffy grinned slyly but opened the flap further, allowing Willow to see inside. Her friend was obviously alone tonight. "Wanna join me?" Buffy asked.
Willow didn't need to be asked twice and she quickly dragged her blanket into the tent. Buffy closed the flap, affectively shutting out the rest of the world. Willow felt glad of that. She needed to be alone right now, even if that alone time included her friend. At least a hundred other people weren't able to stare at her. Especially that blonde newcomer, she couldn't bare to see hatred in those beautiful eyes. She wasn't sure why it bothered her so much, but it did. The blonde woman was someone she wanted to strike up a friendship with, perhaps she was a kindred spirit. Willow didn't see the point on musing over the possibilities. Instead, she settled for moping about it.
"There is so something wrong with you." Buffy insisted, trying to catch the redhead's gaze.
Willow eventually looked up at her friend but said nothing. She merely shook her head.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "There's no point in denying it, Will. Your face is long enough to give the Nile a run for its money." She pointed out.
Willow raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but smirk at her friend's comparison. "I told you, I'm sore." She dismissed Buffy's concerns with a toss of her hair.
"Remember last week? When you got socked in the jaw by that guy? Well, compared to now you were practically ecstatic." She thought about that for a moment. "Well, after you woke up anyway. So don't give me 'it's just coz I'm sore'. There's something else."
Willow found the fact that her friend knew her so well slightly annoying right now. She just wished the perky blonde would give in for once but that just wasn't in her nature. She decided to talk about what was bothering her. It might help her get the blonde newcomer out of her system. "Seeming as you mentioned me getting knocked unconscious." She sighed, Buffy sitting up to attention to listen to her friend. "Well, the girl I was sticking up for has fallen in with Kristen and her gang. She's gonna hate us now."
Buffy merely sat looking at the redhead for a few minutes, taking in the information, digesting it, and repeating the process. "Well that kinda sucks." She shrugged. "But what does it matter? It's happened before."
"See, that's where I'm a bit confused. I don't know why it matters. Maybe it because I see something in her that reminds her of me." Willow tried to explain.
Buffy clearly wasn't understanding what the redhead was talking about but she tried to be the reassuring friend. "Well, if she's gonna hate you after what you did for her, she's not worthy of being your friend, Will. Besides, you'll always have me." She flashed Willow a huge smile.
Willow let out a small laugh. "I suppose you're right."
Buffy, seeing her friend had cheered up a bit, gave the redhead a friendly pat on the back. "Of course I am." She bellowed confidently, still smiling. She glanced at the tent flap and back at Willow. "Hey, I gotta go. I'm meeting someone soon so I may be gone a little while. You okay here on your own?"
Willow nodded. "A guy?"
Buffy cocked her head slightly. "What do you think?" She asked, rhetorically.
"Well, have fun." Willow muttered as Buffy slid out of the tent, shooting her a cheeky grin as she left.
Now, she really was alone and she was definitely feeling it. She wondered what it would be like to have someone to snuggle up to every night. To have a feeling of safety and security in a place as terrifying and lonely as this. It would be a miracle. She thought, glumly.
She shifted herself in a lying position and wrapped the blankets around herself. It was definitely more comfortable inside the tent. She let her eyes close and the exertion take a hold of her body. Her mind wandered to unexplored places but she was barely aware of it. Soon, she was drawn into a deep and dream filled slumber.
She opened her eyes to find herself inside the tent still, though she was vaguely aware of the air being warmer. In fact, it was pleasantly warm and comfortable. The blankets were thicker and cushy beneath her and her clothing looked as if they were brand new. She smiled at her appearance, though she couldn't remember when she had received new clothes.
"What's to become of me with a memory like this." She laughed to herself.
She shifted onto her side and looked at the blanket wall of the tent. Small pictures were drawn onto the material but she couldn't make out what exactly they were. She thought they might be symbols but whenever she moved to take a closer look the images became a blur. At the third attempt to look at them she grumbled in frustration before slumping back into the blankets. She decided that if the images wouldn't stay clear then they couldn't have been that important.
"Stupid pictures." She mumbled, shifting back onto her back.
She jumped in surprise as she saw a familiar face gazing down at her. Blonde hair hung down just above Willow's head and blue eyes were fixed on her own. The intensity within them took her breath away. The blonde newcomer was smiling, a beautiful smile that Willow fancied was only for her.
"Why are you here?" Willow asked uncertainly.
The other woman merely continued to smile and lifted a hand, running it over the air in front of Willow's face, but never touching the skin. She wondered what the blonde was doing but didn't move to stop her. Instead, she continued to stare into blue eyes as they, in turn, watched the hand above Willow's face.
Finally, the blonde woman brought her hand down to rest on Willow's stomach. She didn't jump at the contact but she knew, somehow, that the sensation was muted. She knew she should be feeling more than this but those thoughts didn't stay with her for long as she focused only on the woman next to her. The hand on her belly began to move in slow circles, causing her stomach to flutter with excitement.
"What's your name?" Willow asked, somewhat concerned that she didn't know it but was allowing this woman to touch her like this.
"It doesn't matter." The blonde woman spoke, her voice soothing. The answer was enough to purge the question from Willow's thoughts.
Willow raised herself onto her elbows, closing the gap between their faces so they were only inches apart. The moment seemed to extend into hours as they continued to stare at one another and Willow wondered what was going to happen next. Would they break eye contact? Would one of them pull away? Would they kiss? Her heart skipped a beat at the last thought. Who was going to make the first move? Should she? Would the other woman be insulted if she did? Would she be insulted if she didn't? Her mind whirled from all the questions.
Before she could act, she felt the hand on her belly begin to widen the circle it was travelling. Firstly it would move up over her ribs to just under her breasts, and then it would dip down over her belly button and brush each thigh in turn. Her breath hitched every time it neared her sensitive areas and she just wished it would stop the teasing. She leaned in towards the blonde's full ruby lips, feeling the other woman's breath against her face. The sensation was intoxicating and she was sure she would faint from the sensory overload. Her gaze flickered down to those lips, breaking the lengthy eye contact and she instantly missed the intensity of it. When she looked back up into the sapphire pools she could see only desire. Desire for her.
Just as she was about to close the gap, the blonde moved away and grasped Willow by the shoulders. Willow looked at her in confusion. The other woman began to shake the redhead, gently at first but the force became increasingly stronger.
"Will!" The blonde yelled at her.
"Will!" The other woman's voice was replaced by the familiar one of Buffy's.
"Huh?" Willow continued to stare at the blonde in confusion, not knowing where Buffy's voice was coming from exactly.
"Will!" Buffy's shouts brought Willow abruptly back to the real world and she groaned as her friend continued to shake her by the shoulders.
She opened her eyes and stared up at her friend who finally let go of her. She blinked several times, trying to refocus her thoughts, images of her dream still fixed firmly in her mind's eye. "Buffy?" She finally croaked out, her voice sleepy.
"At last." Buffy said exasperated. "It's time to get up." She stated, backing off from the redhead and sitting on a pile of blankets.
Willow pulled herself into a sitting position. "Get up? But I just." She trailed off, bemused. That dream must have gone on for longer than I thought. She shook her clouded head and looked at her friend. "Okay, I'm awake now." Her friend nodded and crawled out of the tent.
Willow thought back to the dream, somewhat disturbed by what had taken place. She had almost kissed the blonde woman and worse still, it hadn't bothered her. It had seemed completely natural. Willow shook her head again. "What's wrong with me?" She held her hands to her head.
Why does something have to be wrong? A voice in the back of her mind asked, though she didn't want to listen to it. You've never really been attracted to men. Doesn't this explain it?
"I've never been attracted to women either. I was just waiting for the right." She trailed off, realising she was talking to herself. Right one? She thought. She sighed, deciding she would think about this later. If indeed there was only one person in the world meant for her, then it looked as if she'd be alone forever. The newcomer was sure to hate her after falling in with the crowd she had and Willow just couldn't face that now. Instead, she tidied up her dishevelled appearance and readied herself for the challenge of getting her next meal, and surviving it.
*
It had been a strange morning for Tara, as she had woken up in the company of many warm bodies, and it had been the first night in a week that she hadn't shivered herself to sleep. Kristen had greeted her with a wave of the hand before stalking off somewhere. She wasn't sure where and hadn't asked either. The other men and women around her hadn't introduced themselves but she suspected she would learn their names soon enough. When Kristen had returned, the horn signalling breakfast sounded and they moved in a group towards the serving point. Tara had welcomed the safety and surety of getting a meal but after seeing how the group ate so well, she wasn't so sure she wanted to stay around. A number of the 'gang' had taken bowls from some of the weaker specimens in the warehouse. She guessed that was why they were so weak. They hadn't even fought for their food and had practically handed the bowls over. It sickened Tara to see such a thing.
She had considered going back to her spot by the wall but realised this was the way of this place. If she didn't conform to the group's wishes then she would be just another of the victims they preyed on. It was like living in the wild. Survival of the fittest. It went against everything Tara had been taught but she knew she had to make some changes, to herself, and perhaps to this hellish place.
Now, she sat in silence within the group of strangers. She played with her empty food bowl and looked around at them all as they ate greedily. She knew she should feel safe but she didn't. There was something missing. There was no comfort here, no compassion between one another. She felt as though she was isolated and only endured because Kristen approved of her. What she wouldn't give for a true friend. She sighed and noticed Kristen approaching, her face set in its normal stoic expression. The brunette sat down beside Tara, glancing at some of the other members of the group. Tara noticed they all averted their gazes and focused intently on their bowls.
Tara wondered what it was exactly about the brunette that scared them or made them respect her so much. She knew Kristen was strong and slightly intimidating but there had to be something else. From the glimpse she had caught earlier, she suspected it was her cruel streak. Tara had seen the brunette cornering a short man and stealing his food before tossing him aside like he was a rag doll. She wasn't sure if she should be staying around someone like that, she might end up being the object of her cruelty one day. For now though, it seemed she was in favour with the brunette and that, at least, secured her safety. But only for the time being.
"There you go, off into your little world again." Came Kristen's voice.
Tara looked over at the brunette with a questioning expression.
"What goes on in that head of yours?" The brunette asked.
"S-Stuff." Tara replied, not wanting to share.
Kristen narrowed her eyes for a second but her expression soon softened and she waved a hand dismissively. "Oh." She glanced around at her group. "So, what do you want to do today, boys and girls?" Her monotone voice caught everyone's attention immediately.
A slim, sandy haired man spoke up first. "We have a late shift in the tunnels, remember?"
Kristen rolled her eyes. "Just great. Well, we better enjoy the remainder of our day then, hadn't we?" Her question sparked a chorus of nods all round.
Tara almost laughed at it. All of them seemed to follow Kristen blindly and probably would have jumped off a cliff if she told them to. If they would ever see a cliff again. Some of the group got to their feet and disappeared into the crowd, whilst others paired off and talked amongst themselves. She was left relatively alone with Kristen and, somehow, she didn't feel particularly enthralled with that scenario.
"So, um, w-what now?" Tara asked, uncertainly.
Kristen shrugged. "What do you wanna do?"
That was the question wasn't it? She wanted to get out of here, away from the stench, away from the gloom, away from Kristen, and away from all the demons. But that wasn't going to happen. She wanted desperately to see her mother. That wasn't going to happen either. She wanted to lay eyes upon that beautiful redhead again, talk to her, be friends with her. And something inside Tara told her that wouldn't be happening either. I don't even know her name. She thought, glumly.
She scanned the crowd, hoping to spot the redhead but there was no sign of her. She thought, with the chances of seeing her everyday, they would have met again since that day a week ago but it hadn't happened. Perhaps it was fate. Fate was mocking her by giving her something she wanted, dangling it within her reach, and snapping it away just as soon. How could everything go so wrong, all at once?
"I don't know." She finally answered.
Kristen stood, clasping a hand around Tara's arm and tugging firmly. She decided to follow the brunette's lead and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. Kristen looked through the crowd and seemed to spot something or someone. She turned back to Tara.
"Let me show you how things work around here. We have some trouble makers around here that need showing some discipline." She watched as Tara's expression changed to one of disbelief.
"You're going to 'discipline' someone?" Tara asked, dread etching its way into her heart. It was bad enough this sort of thing happened at all, but for her to be a part of it. that was just something she wanted to skip.
"If we don't do it, these trouble makers will be allowed to ruin the stability of our 'family'. Then where would that leave us?" Kristen tilted her head to one side, not expecting an answer from Tara. "And Buffy Summers has caused enough trouble. It's time she was taught a lesson." With that, she turned and led the way through the crowd.
Who's Buffy Summers? Tara asked inwardly. She suspected she would be finding out soon enough. She wasn't sure whether this Buffy was a trouble maker or Kristen just had a vendetta against her. Either way, Tara wasn't going to be able to do a lot to stop her.
"We're not fighters, Tara." Her mother's words echoed in her mind. No, mama, I'm not but can I just sit back and watch someone get hurt? You wouldn't want that either.
The throng of people seemed to part before Kristen and Tara looked down at the wary men and women they passed. They were all genuinely scared, perhaps for one another or merely themselves. She didn't like being associated with that fear and hoped she would never be the cause of it. They neared a tent that seemed to be very alone amongst all the people. Everyone had edged away from it and Tara guessed it was their destination.
Kristen stood in front of it, silently contemplating her next move. Tara glanced around at some of the 'family' that had gathered. Some of them looked fearful but others looked expectant, almost excited at the idea that there was going to be a fight of some sort. That disgusted Tara. She had come across that type of person everywhere she had travelled. Her brother had been one of them. He always enjoyed seeing her suffer, whether it was from thinking she would become a demon or from a beating her father gave her quite often. There were people like that all over the world and they were the ones who were worse than the demons themselves.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are." Kristen's voice was almost sing song like and it caused Tara to shudder. Was this just a game to her?
The flap of the tent ruffled slightly and then stilled. Kristen took a step forwards and the inhabitant of the tent crawled out. The blonde woman who had emerged stood quickly and Tara recognised her instantly. It was the woman who had come to help the redhead a week ago. She was certainly not someone Tara wanted to see hurt. Even if she was the redhead's girlfriend. What am I thinking? I don't want to see anyone hurt!
"Well, look who it is. Buffy Summers has crawled out of her hole." Kristen sneered at the blonde. Tara was surprised to see the flicker of emotion on the brunette's face. She must really hate the other woman.
Buffy placed a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. "Come to get your ass kicked again?" One corner of her mouth tilted upwards and Tara found herself instantly liking this woman, though that was likely going to get herself in trouble with Kristen.
Tara only noticed now the group that had gathered behind Kristen and herself. She recognised them as part of Kristen's 'gang'. Things weren't boding well for Buffy. She took a step forwards but a firm voice stopped her.
"Buffy, no!" Tara turned to see someone else emerge from the tent. It was the redhead she so often wished she would see again. Her heart fluttered at the sight of her and her eyes drank in the beauty of the redhead as she straightened up. Hopefully, Buffy would listen to her friend and avoid getting beaten to a pulp. "Don't hurt them." The redhead continued. Okay, was not expecting that.
Buffy turned to her friend and shot her a grin before focusing back on the threat. The group behind Kristen began to laugh at the redhead's comment. "Ah, Willow Rosenberg, ever the compassionate one." Came Kristen's snide remark.
Willow. Tara rolled the name around in her head. Wow, what a beautiful name. It suits her. She let a small smile tug at her lips as she thought about it but her expression soon dropped when Buffy's eyes locked on hers.
"You." She pointed at Tara. "After what Will did for you and you just turn around and stab her in the back." The other blonde's eyes were narrowed in anger and Tara could tell she was fiercely protective of the redhead. Yep, definitely a girlfriend.
"I.uh. didn't." She tried to get out a sentence but found it impossible. She looked to Willow whose green eyes looked sadly back at her. No! She thinks I've betrayed her! No!
"Shut up!" Kristen shouted. "She knows the right side to be on is all. Who would blame her for not wanting to be around a couple of losers?"
Tara tried to communicate how wrong Buffy was through her eyes but Willow had looked away and was now concentrating on Kristen, hate and a hint of fear in those green orbs. She considered just walking over to the redhead and showing her how much she wanted to have a friendship with her but she knew Kristen would think of that as betrayal. That could only lead to pain. But it would be worth it. She sighed, cursing her self preservation instincts. I'm such a coward.
To be honest, she was probably more scared of rejection by Willow than the beating she would get from Kristen and her gang. The physical wounds would heal, after all, but not the scar left by the look in Willow's eyes. She couldn't stand it if Willow hated her, if she wanted to be nowhere near her. She thought how silly it was that she was having such feelings for someone she didn't even know. This was only the second time she was in the other woman's company but she hadn't been able to get the redhead out of her mind. Maybe that's what she was. Out of her mind. Besides, how could she expect anyone as beautiful and brave to ever like someone such as herself. She was doomed to be alone forever. Especially now her mother was gone.
Suddenly lurching forwards, Kristen threw herself at Buffy, grappling the blonde to the ground. The pair tumbled over and over, finally stopping with Buffy getting the better of the brunette. She straddled Kristen's stomach and gripped a hand around her throat. She pulled back a fist, aiming for the brunette's face but was pulled off by a dark haired man. He grabbed her around the waist and tried to squeeze the life out of her whilst Kristen scrambled to her feet.
Tara saw Willow move forwards to help her friend but two women headed her off, blocking her path. Buffy, however, didn't seem to need the help as she elbowed the dark haired man in the head, causing him to let go of her and stumble backwards. She was immediately attacked by Kristen again and the pair initiated an exchange of blows.
Willow wasn't fairing as well though and was being overwhelmed by the two women. One had short, ruffled black hair whilst the other had long brown hair. The brunette had managed to get behind the redhead and had grabbed her around the shoulders. The short haired woman set about delivering several sharp blows to her stomach, causing Willow to cough in pain. Seeing the redhead in pain stirred something within Tara and she just couldn't watch it anymore.
Concentrating on the brunette behind Willow she caused a barrier to come up between the two, pushing the brown haired woman away. She lost her grip on Willow as well as her footing. This gave the redhead the opportunity to block a swing from the short haired woman and she countered, ploughing her fist into the other woman's small nose. The short haired woman fell backwards into the crowd and Willow stood looking slightly dazed for a moment. All of a sudden, she noticed the pain in her hand and grasped it as she winced.
Tara looked back over at Kristen and Buffy but couldn't see the tall brunette. Buffy stood, hands on hips, smirking at the crowd. Tara made her way forwards and spotted Kristen lying flat on her back, obviously unconscious. Her nose was bloodied and she had obviously taken quite a beating. Several of her gang scurried towards her and carried her limp body away.
Tara turned to look back at Willow and Buffy to find the strong blonde glaring menacingly back at her. She took an involuntary step backwards, noticing the crowd had already started to dissipate. Her hand moved up to nervously finger the pendant her mother had given to her on her thirteenth birthday. She remembered gazing at the dark blue stone as her mother told her she had proven to be an accomplished witch.
"You want some of the same?" Buffy said calmly.
Finding it hard to form any sort of words, Tara took another step backwards. Buffy walked forwards though, quickly closing the gap between them. There would be no way she could stop the other woman from serving her the same treatment as she had with Kristen. She could use magic against Buffy but she had been taught never to use it to harm another being and force would be the only way to stop her. Tara closed her eyes, readying herself for the inevitable blow.
It never came.
Tara opened her eyes gingerly, not making any sudden movements. She saw Willow at Buffy's side, her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Wait." She uttered, pulling Buffy away from Tara. "I think she." With a glance back at Tara, Willow didn't finish her sentence.
Buffy nodded, seemingly knowing what the redhead meant. She turned back to Tara. "Maybe you should reconsider who you hand around." With that, she walked back to her tent, quickly disappearing inside.
Willow was left standing, looking at Tara. Though her face was expressionless, Tara could see the myriad of emotions playing through those beautiful green eyes. She so very much wanted to go to her and apologise for everything that had happened but something told her she wouldn't be welcomed. It seemed an eternity that they stood staring at one another, neither making a move.
Tara eventually decided she'd better leave, before Buffy figured that her friend was wrong and she was a threat after all. She slowly turned and stepped forwards, towards the crowds of people.
"What's your name?" She heard the voice drift over her shoulder.
She turned and looked at Willow, surprised at her question. Of all the things she expected the redhead to say to her, that wasn't one of them. Maybe an outburst of hate or anger, but certainly not asking for her name. "T-Tara." She felt angry at herself for stuttering but was just glad she got the word out.
Tara was sure she saw a flicker of a smile light the redhead's eyes but she didn't stay to find out. She melted quickly into the throng of people, her destination unknown. She wondered why she hadn't stayed, after all the redhead hadn't seemed confrontational. Now she thought about it, she had seemed curious and maybe just a little confused. She shook her head at her own cowardice. If only she had the bravery to follow her heart for once.
*
Willow slowly lay back on the bed of blankets inside her and Buffy's safe haven. The confining space of the tent was welcoming at that moment. She winced as the muscles of her stomach tensed and she guessed she had probably bruised some ribs. She wondered how long they would take to heal and hoped none of the vampire guards would notice. They tended to snack on the weaker individuals or those who weren't as efficient workers. She looked down at her right hand, frowning at the reddening knuckles. She was, however, quite proud of herself. That had to be the hardest punch she had delivered, yet.
She wasn't quite sure how she had gotten herself out of that human sandwich but she had a niggling feeling it may have had something to do with that blonde woman. She thought back to the sequence of actions that had led to her coming face to face with her again. That Kristen Zinscher had turned up and threatened Buffy as per usual. Willow didn't know why she continued to bother, she always got her ass kicked. Willow had clambered out of the tent after Buffy and she noticed the blonde girl immediately. Her heart had sunk at the sight, knowing she was against Buffy and herself now.
How ironic. The only person I even remotely like and she picks the wrong side. The fight had started, leading to Willow's extremely sore ribs and, just when she thought she was going have the living daylights beaten out of her, she was free of that brown haired bitch's grip. She remembered feeling something moments before it happened, some sort of surge of energy. She didn't know where it had come from but she had instantly thought of the blonde woman. Just wishful thinking, I think.
Then, after the fight, after all the 'gang' had left, she had remained behind. The blonde woman had looked scared but still she didn't run away. Willow hoped it was because she hadn't really wanted to harm Buffy or her but she couldn't be sure of that. At least one good thing had come from all of it. She knew the blonde's name.
Tara. It was such simple name but it held such power for Willow. She had stuttered when she had told Willow her name but she didn't think any less of the blonde for that. In fact, she had found it quite cute. If only I could tell her that. She sighed, knowing that would never happen. They were on opposite sides now and Buffy wouldn't easily forget that, nor forgive it.
"Hey, you okay?" Buffy asked, concern etching a furrow across her friend's forehead.
Willow forced a smile. "Yeah."
Buffy sat looking at the redhead thoughtfully. "You hung up about Miss. Prospective Friend stabbing you in the back?" She said with genuine sympathy.
Willow sighed again. "Not really. I mean, I don't think she stabbed me in the back. I think." She didn't finish, not sure of the facts herself.
"What?" Buffy probed.
"I think. she, uh, might have helped me." She said, hoping her friend wouldn't laugh in her face.
Buffy's eyebrows shot towards the heavens. "How? She came nowhere near you." She questioned doubtfully.
"I know. But." Willow shrugged. "Just a feeling."
"Right." Buffy muttered. "Well, at least you're feeling something." She said, winking at her friend. Willow just frowned at the blonde, not appreciating her humour.
Buffy was, in part, right though. She hadn't been feeling a heck of a lot lately, apart from doom and gloom. Only when Tara had turned up had she been exposed to a wider range of emotions. But now she had lost all hope with starting any sort of friendship with the blonde and she was back with the depression again. She wiped her uninjured hand over her face, letting it come to a halt over her eyes. She wished she could block out all her thoughts like she could the light.
She groaned as she realised she would have to work underground again tonight, so she could look forward to more pain and aches. She knew Buffy would be with her though so that was a relief. Her friend would handle most of the heavy lifting and often give Willow the chance to catch her breath.
"You do realise we're working tonight?" Willow asked, still blocking the light out with her hand.
"Yep." Buffy answered.
"You sound almost cheerful about it." Willow propped herself up onto her elbows. "Oh, I forgot. You never get bruises, or aches, or cuts, or scrapes."
Buffy laughed. "That'll teach you for getting hit. Next time, avoid the fists." She said pointedly.
Willow snorted. "Easy for you to say. You're like Wonder Woman on speed." She sat up completely, her shoulder slumping forwards. "How'd you get so fit anyway?"
"It's called exercising, Will. You should try it sometime." Came the reply.
"The only exercise you do is horizontal jogging." Willow retorted, before slumping back down into the blankets.
Buffy merely laughed. "Something you should give a try as well." She poked at the redhead's leg. "You might not be so uptight."
Willow glared at the blonde but didn't bother replying. They could exchange comments like this for hours and she just didn't have the energy for it right now. She needed to get some rest before she had to go underground or else she would fall victim to the bloodsuckers. There was always the chance of that anyway but she didn't like to tempt the vampires even further.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wondered if she would dream of the beautiful blonde again and secretly hoped she would. At least that was a happy place and full of more sensations than fear and depression. She would welcome her dream Tara any day, even if she couldn't have the real thing.
END OF CHAPTER 1
Author: Centauri2002
Feedback: Pretty please. Good or bad, I welcome it all. Hugs all round to those who do. Email is centauri2002@environment21.fsnet.co.uk or just leave feedback here.
Spoiler Warning: Absolutely none.
Disclaimer: The characters of BtVS belong to Joss Whedon, ME, and co. I am only borrowing them, yada, yada, yada. However, if I did own them the fans would be a heck of a lot happier and maybe I should just sue you, Joss, for wrecking a damn good show. Ahem, anyway.
Couples: Ah, you'll have to find out.
Rating: PG-13. Though, no doubt, it will venture into NC-17 territory.
Summary: This chapter takes place a week later. Whilst Tara makes new friends, Willow ponders her discontentment.
Authors Notes: This story is completely AU. Willow and Tara have never met (a storyline which I like to write about) and the Slayer isn't the all feared person she was in the show. This idea just popped into my head one morning and I had to write about it.
Dedication: To all the kittens, who make writing such wonderful fan fiction possible. I have received much inspiration from many kitties and I want to thank you all. And to my beta reader, Paul, who is an absolute saint!
Chapter 1
It seemed as though she had been in this hellish place for months but she guessed it had only been a week or so. She had given up counting the days and nights after a few cycles. There didn't seem to be a point. Now, she sat up against the wall she had begun to call home. She had long ago lost the blanket she had been given when she first arrived here and spent the endless nights shivering. She had had a certain amount of hope at first but it soon dissipated when she saw how the people here lived and how they considered this existence a normal way of life. It sickened her.
She tucked her feet up close to her body and hugged her knees to her chest, trying to keep all her body warmth to herself. She remembered nights when she would be cold or scared and her mother would hold her and hum a lullaby that would soothe her. Those nights had been filled with comforting dreams but now her mind was filled only with nightmares. She had to stop herself from crying again as she thought of her mother. When the demons had advanced on her and her mother, she had been knocked unconscious and had never seen her since. She didn't want to think of her mother as dead but with each passing day, it seemed unlikely that they would see one another again.
She sniffed back the tears and wiped stray whispers of blonde from her face. She was still in a surprisingly neat state in comparison to the other inhabitants and she was determined to stay that way. Her mother would be disappointed with her if she allowed herself to fall into disarray. She would never disappoint her mother, not even her memory. She had also lost weight since arriving here, due to the fact that most of her meals had been stolen. She hadn't eaten as well as her first day here and that was only because of the woman that stood up to the man who had tried to take her bowl.
She thought back to that flame haired woman. The vibrant colour of the woman's hair had captivated her and she had found herself wondering if it would be even brighter if properly cared for. She didn't know why the redhead had stood up for her that day and she had never had the chance to ask her. The man she had been facing had punched the woman in the jaw and knocked her unconscious. She had immediately gone to the woman's side but a friend of the redhead's had come and taken her away after knocking the attacker flat on his back.
She had managed to get a close look at the redhead's face though and even caught a glimpse of the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen. She had always thought she would never be able to find more enchanting eyes than those of her mother's but she had so clearly been wrong. Those eyes had closed all too soon and she had wanted to reach out and caress the smooth cheek of the redhead. However, her blonde friend had come and she had decided to avoid another confrontation. She had quickly backed away and moved to 'her spot' to eat the disgusting meal the redhead had fought for her to keep.
She wondered if the blonde woman was the redhead's lover. She had been very protective of the redhead and it was possible. That made Tara feel envious and she hated the feeling. Then, another thought struck her that made her feel even worse. What if she doesn't even like women? Not everyone's like you, Tara. It didn't really matter anyway, she hadn't seen the redhead since that day. She had been forced into manual labour and all her free time was spent sleeping as best she could. She hadn't even been given the chance to be friends with her hero. Hero? Hmm, yes, she's my hero. She thought, a little too happily for her own liking.
Movement nearby caught her attention and she looked to her left where a tall woman was standing, watching her. Long brown hair was tied back behind the woman's head and her attractive features showed amusement. Grey eyes locked with her own and the slim woman walked towards her, stepping over sleeping bodies. The stranger wore a short-sleeved top and dark trousers that showed off her lithe form. Silently, she crouched down in front of Tara and continued staring at her. She couldn't have been more than a few years older than Tara.
"W-What?" Tara asked, the level gaze making her feel uncomfortable.
The brunette's expression hadn't changed. She continued to look amused, though she didn't smile. "You looked like you were in another world for a minute there." The woman commented, her voice emotionless.
Tara looked at her, searching for a purpose in the woman's eyes. The brunette hid her feelings well and Tara guessed she only let others see what she wanted them to see. However, this woman didn't know Tara could read auras and the brunette's was clear to her. She didn't seem to be threatening to Tara but she was worried by the splattering of black in her aura. She suspected the brunette wasn't one of the nicest people around.
"Oh, where are my manners?" The brunette finally blinked, ending the stare, which Tara had begun squirming under. "I'm Kristen." She extended her hand.
Tara looked down at the hand and decided it wouldn't harm her to remain civil. After all, her mother had taught her to be polite, even if that person didn't deserve it. She grasped the hand lightly, feeling it flex under her own and betraying the strength it held. "T-Tara." She stuttered out her name.
Still unsmiling, Kristen stood. "Nice to meet you, Tara." She glanced around her. "So, how are you liking our fair abode?"
Tara studied the brunette's face. She's joking right? She doesn't look like she's joking. "It's n-n-nice." She said, not sure if she would offend by telling the truth or not.
Kristen snorted. "Right."
Tara was just about to ask the woman what she wanted when something distracted her. A flash of red caught her eye and she immediately looked in that direction, the brunette all but forgotten. Her heart fluttered as she watched the familiar redhead move across the warehouse towards a make shift tent. She couldn't help but smile as she watched the purposeful stride and the way the red hair bobbed around her face as she walked. She considered going after her and thanking her for helping her but doubted the redhead would even remember her. Who would ever remember a bumbling idiot like me?
"You wanna be careful who you associate yourself with." Kristen's voice cut through her thoughts and as she looked at the brunette, she could tell the other woman had been following her gaze.
"Why?" Tara asked.
Kristen looked back at her. "There are some trouble makers around." She jerked a thumb behind her. "Especially that one and her friend."
Tara looked back to where she had last seen the redhead but she had disappeared. Her heart sunk and she felt a sense of loss. She wasn't sure if she believed Kristen. After all, the redhead had saved her meal and she couldn't believe the beautiful woman was capable of hurting anyone. Her aura was too pure.
"If you ever need some company." Kristen started, turning and walking away. "I'll be over here."
Tara watched as the brunette made her way to a crowd of people who all greeted her as she neared. Some of them were looking over at Tara with mixed expressions. Some were welcoming, others were detached, and some she even thought were frozen in a jealous glare. Kristen sat down next to a tent made from blankets and looked pointedly at Tara. It did seem appealing and it would be good to have some friends. She had been getting so lonely lately and was missing her mother more and more. The decision made, she stood and made her way towards her new friend.
*
Willow made her way back to the tent she suspected Buffy was sleeping in. She hoped her friend was alone as she just couldn't be bothered with getting all embarrassed again by interrupting something. She had just come back from a long shift of moving stones underground in the demons' new 'kingdom'. Her muscles were sore and she had received several scrapes along her forearms. She just wanted to curl up and go to sleep in a warm place. A nice warm blonde place. Willow froze. Whoa, where did that thought come from? She ignored it and decided it was best not to linger on it. She was tired and, she rationalised, probably delusional.
She lowered herself carefully to the ground when she reached her friend's tent, careful not to strain any of her delicate muscles. She let out an exhausted breath as she settled on her blanket. It was amazing how comfortable the grubby piece of material felt after a long day being used as slave labour. She ran her hands over her calf muscles, massaging the flesh there. She allowed her eyes to flutter closed for a moment as she enjoyed the relief. When she opened them again she found herself looking at the blonde beauty she had saved from the spindly man only a week ago. She was walking across the warehouse towards a group of people. To Willow's dismay, she recognised those people as a gang of unsavoury characters who liked to think of themselves as the dominant ones in this living area. The problem with that was they were right. Buffy and she had had some run ins with them before and the outcome had never been pleasant. More often than not, Willow had come away with cuts and bruises whilst Buffy had broken a few of the gang's bones. Willow began to consider herself as a human punch bag.
Now, it seemed that the blonde had made friends with that gang and that would mean she would soon hate Willow. Anyone who joined that group did. Especially that Kristen Zinscher. She didn't like people standing up to her. Seeming as Buffy was the one who did, Willow would receive the gang's punishment. It didn't seem fair to her. Not fair at all. She frowned as the blonde woman sat down, disappearing from view. The frown turned to a scowl as the soreness of her body came to the forefront now the woman had left her vision. Definitely not fair.
"Hey, Will. What's up?" Came Buffy's voice and Willow turned to see the blonde's head peeking out from the tent.
Willow tried to lift her expression but to no avail. "Oh, nothing. Just sore." She looked thoughtfully at the tent. "You got company?"
Buffy grinned slyly but opened the flap further, allowing Willow to see inside. Her friend was obviously alone tonight. "Wanna join me?" Buffy asked.
Willow didn't need to be asked twice and she quickly dragged her blanket into the tent. Buffy closed the flap, affectively shutting out the rest of the world. Willow felt glad of that. She needed to be alone right now, even if that alone time included her friend. At least a hundred other people weren't able to stare at her. Especially that blonde newcomer, she couldn't bare to see hatred in those beautiful eyes. She wasn't sure why it bothered her so much, but it did. The blonde woman was someone she wanted to strike up a friendship with, perhaps she was a kindred spirit. Willow didn't see the point on musing over the possibilities. Instead, she settled for moping about it.
"There is so something wrong with you." Buffy insisted, trying to catch the redhead's gaze.
Willow eventually looked up at her friend but said nothing. She merely shook her head.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "There's no point in denying it, Will. Your face is long enough to give the Nile a run for its money." She pointed out.
Willow raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but smirk at her friend's comparison. "I told you, I'm sore." She dismissed Buffy's concerns with a toss of her hair.
"Remember last week? When you got socked in the jaw by that guy? Well, compared to now you were practically ecstatic." She thought about that for a moment. "Well, after you woke up anyway. So don't give me 'it's just coz I'm sore'. There's something else."
Willow found the fact that her friend knew her so well slightly annoying right now. She just wished the perky blonde would give in for once but that just wasn't in her nature. She decided to talk about what was bothering her. It might help her get the blonde newcomer out of her system. "Seeming as you mentioned me getting knocked unconscious." She sighed, Buffy sitting up to attention to listen to her friend. "Well, the girl I was sticking up for has fallen in with Kristen and her gang. She's gonna hate us now."
Buffy merely sat looking at the redhead for a few minutes, taking in the information, digesting it, and repeating the process. "Well that kinda sucks." She shrugged. "But what does it matter? It's happened before."
"See, that's where I'm a bit confused. I don't know why it matters. Maybe it because I see something in her that reminds her of me." Willow tried to explain.
Buffy clearly wasn't understanding what the redhead was talking about but she tried to be the reassuring friend. "Well, if she's gonna hate you after what you did for her, she's not worthy of being your friend, Will. Besides, you'll always have me." She flashed Willow a huge smile.
Willow let out a small laugh. "I suppose you're right."
Buffy, seeing her friend had cheered up a bit, gave the redhead a friendly pat on the back. "Of course I am." She bellowed confidently, still smiling. She glanced at the tent flap and back at Willow. "Hey, I gotta go. I'm meeting someone soon so I may be gone a little while. You okay here on your own?"
Willow nodded. "A guy?"
Buffy cocked her head slightly. "What do you think?" She asked, rhetorically.
"Well, have fun." Willow muttered as Buffy slid out of the tent, shooting her a cheeky grin as she left.
Now, she really was alone and she was definitely feeling it. She wondered what it would be like to have someone to snuggle up to every night. To have a feeling of safety and security in a place as terrifying and lonely as this. It would be a miracle. She thought, glumly.
She shifted herself in a lying position and wrapped the blankets around herself. It was definitely more comfortable inside the tent. She let her eyes close and the exertion take a hold of her body. Her mind wandered to unexplored places but she was barely aware of it. Soon, she was drawn into a deep and dream filled slumber.
She opened her eyes to find herself inside the tent still, though she was vaguely aware of the air being warmer. In fact, it was pleasantly warm and comfortable. The blankets were thicker and cushy beneath her and her clothing looked as if they were brand new. She smiled at her appearance, though she couldn't remember when she had received new clothes.
"What's to become of me with a memory like this." She laughed to herself.
She shifted onto her side and looked at the blanket wall of the tent. Small pictures were drawn onto the material but she couldn't make out what exactly they were. She thought they might be symbols but whenever she moved to take a closer look the images became a blur. At the third attempt to look at them she grumbled in frustration before slumping back into the blankets. She decided that if the images wouldn't stay clear then they couldn't have been that important.
"Stupid pictures." She mumbled, shifting back onto her back.
She jumped in surprise as she saw a familiar face gazing down at her. Blonde hair hung down just above Willow's head and blue eyes were fixed on her own. The intensity within them took her breath away. The blonde newcomer was smiling, a beautiful smile that Willow fancied was only for her.
"Why are you here?" Willow asked uncertainly.
The other woman merely continued to smile and lifted a hand, running it over the air in front of Willow's face, but never touching the skin. She wondered what the blonde was doing but didn't move to stop her. Instead, she continued to stare into blue eyes as they, in turn, watched the hand above Willow's face.
Finally, the blonde woman brought her hand down to rest on Willow's stomach. She didn't jump at the contact but she knew, somehow, that the sensation was muted. She knew she should be feeling more than this but those thoughts didn't stay with her for long as she focused only on the woman next to her. The hand on her belly began to move in slow circles, causing her stomach to flutter with excitement.
"What's your name?" Willow asked, somewhat concerned that she didn't know it but was allowing this woman to touch her like this.
"It doesn't matter." The blonde woman spoke, her voice soothing. The answer was enough to purge the question from Willow's thoughts.
Willow raised herself onto her elbows, closing the gap between their faces so they were only inches apart. The moment seemed to extend into hours as they continued to stare at one another and Willow wondered what was going to happen next. Would they break eye contact? Would one of them pull away? Would they kiss? Her heart skipped a beat at the last thought. Who was going to make the first move? Should she? Would the other woman be insulted if she did? Would she be insulted if she didn't? Her mind whirled from all the questions.
Before she could act, she felt the hand on her belly begin to widen the circle it was travelling. Firstly it would move up over her ribs to just under her breasts, and then it would dip down over her belly button and brush each thigh in turn. Her breath hitched every time it neared her sensitive areas and she just wished it would stop the teasing. She leaned in towards the blonde's full ruby lips, feeling the other woman's breath against her face. The sensation was intoxicating and she was sure she would faint from the sensory overload. Her gaze flickered down to those lips, breaking the lengthy eye contact and she instantly missed the intensity of it. When she looked back up into the sapphire pools she could see only desire. Desire for her.
Just as she was about to close the gap, the blonde moved away and grasped Willow by the shoulders. Willow looked at her in confusion. The other woman began to shake the redhead, gently at first but the force became increasingly stronger.
"Will!" The blonde yelled at her.
"Will!" The other woman's voice was replaced by the familiar one of Buffy's.
"Huh?" Willow continued to stare at the blonde in confusion, not knowing where Buffy's voice was coming from exactly.
"Will!" Buffy's shouts brought Willow abruptly back to the real world and she groaned as her friend continued to shake her by the shoulders.
She opened her eyes and stared up at her friend who finally let go of her. She blinked several times, trying to refocus her thoughts, images of her dream still fixed firmly in her mind's eye. "Buffy?" She finally croaked out, her voice sleepy.
"At last." Buffy said exasperated. "It's time to get up." She stated, backing off from the redhead and sitting on a pile of blankets.
Willow pulled herself into a sitting position. "Get up? But I just." She trailed off, bemused. That dream must have gone on for longer than I thought. She shook her clouded head and looked at her friend. "Okay, I'm awake now." Her friend nodded and crawled out of the tent.
Willow thought back to the dream, somewhat disturbed by what had taken place. She had almost kissed the blonde woman and worse still, it hadn't bothered her. It had seemed completely natural. Willow shook her head again. "What's wrong with me?" She held her hands to her head.
Why does something have to be wrong? A voice in the back of her mind asked, though she didn't want to listen to it. You've never really been attracted to men. Doesn't this explain it?
"I've never been attracted to women either. I was just waiting for the right." She trailed off, realising she was talking to herself. Right one? She thought. She sighed, deciding she would think about this later. If indeed there was only one person in the world meant for her, then it looked as if she'd be alone forever. The newcomer was sure to hate her after falling in with the crowd she had and Willow just couldn't face that now. Instead, she tidied up her dishevelled appearance and readied herself for the challenge of getting her next meal, and surviving it.
*
It had been a strange morning for Tara, as she had woken up in the company of many warm bodies, and it had been the first night in a week that she hadn't shivered herself to sleep. Kristen had greeted her with a wave of the hand before stalking off somewhere. She wasn't sure where and hadn't asked either. The other men and women around her hadn't introduced themselves but she suspected she would learn their names soon enough. When Kristen had returned, the horn signalling breakfast sounded and they moved in a group towards the serving point. Tara had welcomed the safety and surety of getting a meal but after seeing how the group ate so well, she wasn't so sure she wanted to stay around. A number of the 'gang' had taken bowls from some of the weaker specimens in the warehouse. She guessed that was why they were so weak. They hadn't even fought for their food and had practically handed the bowls over. It sickened Tara to see such a thing.
She had considered going back to her spot by the wall but realised this was the way of this place. If she didn't conform to the group's wishes then she would be just another of the victims they preyed on. It was like living in the wild. Survival of the fittest. It went against everything Tara had been taught but she knew she had to make some changes, to herself, and perhaps to this hellish place.
Now, she sat in silence within the group of strangers. She played with her empty food bowl and looked around at them all as they ate greedily. She knew she should feel safe but she didn't. There was something missing. There was no comfort here, no compassion between one another. She felt as though she was isolated and only endured because Kristen approved of her. What she wouldn't give for a true friend. She sighed and noticed Kristen approaching, her face set in its normal stoic expression. The brunette sat down beside Tara, glancing at some of the other members of the group. Tara noticed they all averted their gazes and focused intently on their bowls.
Tara wondered what it was exactly about the brunette that scared them or made them respect her so much. She knew Kristen was strong and slightly intimidating but there had to be something else. From the glimpse she had caught earlier, she suspected it was her cruel streak. Tara had seen the brunette cornering a short man and stealing his food before tossing him aside like he was a rag doll. She wasn't sure if she should be staying around someone like that, she might end up being the object of her cruelty one day. For now though, it seemed she was in favour with the brunette and that, at least, secured her safety. But only for the time being.
"There you go, off into your little world again." Came Kristen's voice.
Tara looked over at the brunette with a questioning expression.
"What goes on in that head of yours?" The brunette asked.
"S-Stuff." Tara replied, not wanting to share.
Kristen narrowed her eyes for a second but her expression soon softened and she waved a hand dismissively. "Oh." She glanced around at her group. "So, what do you want to do today, boys and girls?" Her monotone voice caught everyone's attention immediately.
A slim, sandy haired man spoke up first. "We have a late shift in the tunnels, remember?"
Kristen rolled her eyes. "Just great. Well, we better enjoy the remainder of our day then, hadn't we?" Her question sparked a chorus of nods all round.
Tara almost laughed at it. All of them seemed to follow Kristen blindly and probably would have jumped off a cliff if she told them to. If they would ever see a cliff again. Some of the group got to their feet and disappeared into the crowd, whilst others paired off and talked amongst themselves. She was left relatively alone with Kristen and, somehow, she didn't feel particularly enthralled with that scenario.
"So, um, w-what now?" Tara asked, uncertainly.
Kristen shrugged. "What do you wanna do?"
That was the question wasn't it? She wanted to get out of here, away from the stench, away from the gloom, away from Kristen, and away from all the demons. But that wasn't going to happen. She wanted desperately to see her mother. That wasn't going to happen either. She wanted to lay eyes upon that beautiful redhead again, talk to her, be friends with her. And something inside Tara told her that wouldn't be happening either. I don't even know her name. She thought, glumly.
She scanned the crowd, hoping to spot the redhead but there was no sign of her. She thought, with the chances of seeing her everyday, they would have met again since that day a week ago but it hadn't happened. Perhaps it was fate. Fate was mocking her by giving her something she wanted, dangling it within her reach, and snapping it away just as soon. How could everything go so wrong, all at once?
"I don't know." She finally answered.
Kristen stood, clasping a hand around Tara's arm and tugging firmly. She decided to follow the brunette's lead and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. Kristen looked through the crowd and seemed to spot something or someone. She turned back to Tara.
"Let me show you how things work around here. We have some trouble makers around here that need showing some discipline." She watched as Tara's expression changed to one of disbelief.
"You're going to 'discipline' someone?" Tara asked, dread etching its way into her heart. It was bad enough this sort of thing happened at all, but for her to be a part of it. that was just something she wanted to skip.
"If we don't do it, these trouble makers will be allowed to ruin the stability of our 'family'. Then where would that leave us?" Kristen tilted her head to one side, not expecting an answer from Tara. "And Buffy Summers has caused enough trouble. It's time she was taught a lesson." With that, she turned and led the way through the crowd.
Who's Buffy Summers? Tara asked inwardly. She suspected she would be finding out soon enough. She wasn't sure whether this Buffy was a trouble maker or Kristen just had a vendetta against her. Either way, Tara wasn't going to be able to do a lot to stop her.
"We're not fighters, Tara." Her mother's words echoed in her mind. No, mama, I'm not but can I just sit back and watch someone get hurt? You wouldn't want that either.
The throng of people seemed to part before Kristen and Tara looked down at the wary men and women they passed. They were all genuinely scared, perhaps for one another or merely themselves. She didn't like being associated with that fear and hoped she would never be the cause of it. They neared a tent that seemed to be very alone amongst all the people. Everyone had edged away from it and Tara guessed it was their destination.
Kristen stood in front of it, silently contemplating her next move. Tara glanced around at some of the 'family' that had gathered. Some of them looked fearful but others looked expectant, almost excited at the idea that there was going to be a fight of some sort. That disgusted Tara. She had come across that type of person everywhere she had travelled. Her brother had been one of them. He always enjoyed seeing her suffer, whether it was from thinking she would become a demon or from a beating her father gave her quite often. There were people like that all over the world and they were the ones who were worse than the demons themselves.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are." Kristen's voice was almost sing song like and it caused Tara to shudder. Was this just a game to her?
The flap of the tent ruffled slightly and then stilled. Kristen took a step forwards and the inhabitant of the tent crawled out. The blonde woman who had emerged stood quickly and Tara recognised her instantly. It was the woman who had come to help the redhead a week ago. She was certainly not someone Tara wanted to see hurt. Even if she was the redhead's girlfriend. What am I thinking? I don't want to see anyone hurt!
"Well, look who it is. Buffy Summers has crawled out of her hole." Kristen sneered at the blonde. Tara was surprised to see the flicker of emotion on the brunette's face. She must really hate the other woman.
Buffy placed a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. "Come to get your ass kicked again?" One corner of her mouth tilted upwards and Tara found herself instantly liking this woman, though that was likely going to get herself in trouble with Kristen.
Tara only noticed now the group that had gathered behind Kristen and herself. She recognised them as part of Kristen's 'gang'. Things weren't boding well for Buffy. She took a step forwards but a firm voice stopped her.
"Buffy, no!" Tara turned to see someone else emerge from the tent. It was the redhead she so often wished she would see again. Her heart fluttered at the sight of her and her eyes drank in the beauty of the redhead as she straightened up. Hopefully, Buffy would listen to her friend and avoid getting beaten to a pulp. "Don't hurt them." The redhead continued. Okay, was not expecting that.
Buffy turned to her friend and shot her a grin before focusing back on the threat. The group behind Kristen began to laugh at the redhead's comment. "Ah, Willow Rosenberg, ever the compassionate one." Came Kristen's snide remark.
Willow. Tara rolled the name around in her head. Wow, what a beautiful name. It suits her. She let a small smile tug at her lips as she thought about it but her expression soon dropped when Buffy's eyes locked on hers.
"You." She pointed at Tara. "After what Will did for you and you just turn around and stab her in the back." The other blonde's eyes were narrowed in anger and Tara could tell she was fiercely protective of the redhead. Yep, definitely a girlfriend.
"I.uh. didn't." She tried to get out a sentence but found it impossible. She looked to Willow whose green eyes looked sadly back at her. No! She thinks I've betrayed her! No!
"Shut up!" Kristen shouted. "She knows the right side to be on is all. Who would blame her for not wanting to be around a couple of losers?"
Tara tried to communicate how wrong Buffy was through her eyes but Willow had looked away and was now concentrating on Kristen, hate and a hint of fear in those green orbs. She considered just walking over to the redhead and showing her how much she wanted to have a friendship with her but she knew Kristen would think of that as betrayal. That could only lead to pain. But it would be worth it. She sighed, cursing her self preservation instincts. I'm such a coward.
To be honest, she was probably more scared of rejection by Willow than the beating she would get from Kristen and her gang. The physical wounds would heal, after all, but not the scar left by the look in Willow's eyes. She couldn't stand it if Willow hated her, if she wanted to be nowhere near her. She thought how silly it was that she was having such feelings for someone she didn't even know. This was only the second time she was in the other woman's company but she hadn't been able to get the redhead out of her mind. Maybe that's what she was. Out of her mind. Besides, how could she expect anyone as beautiful and brave to ever like someone such as herself. She was doomed to be alone forever. Especially now her mother was gone.
Suddenly lurching forwards, Kristen threw herself at Buffy, grappling the blonde to the ground. The pair tumbled over and over, finally stopping with Buffy getting the better of the brunette. She straddled Kristen's stomach and gripped a hand around her throat. She pulled back a fist, aiming for the brunette's face but was pulled off by a dark haired man. He grabbed her around the waist and tried to squeeze the life out of her whilst Kristen scrambled to her feet.
Tara saw Willow move forwards to help her friend but two women headed her off, blocking her path. Buffy, however, didn't seem to need the help as she elbowed the dark haired man in the head, causing him to let go of her and stumble backwards. She was immediately attacked by Kristen again and the pair initiated an exchange of blows.
Willow wasn't fairing as well though and was being overwhelmed by the two women. One had short, ruffled black hair whilst the other had long brown hair. The brunette had managed to get behind the redhead and had grabbed her around the shoulders. The short haired woman set about delivering several sharp blows to her stomach, causing Willow to cough in pain. Seeing the redhead in pain stirred something within Tara and she just couldn't watch it anymore.
Concentrating on the brunette behind Willow she caused a barrier to come up between the two, pushing the brown haired woman away. She lost her grip on Willow as well as her footing. This gave the redhead the opportunity to block a swing from the short haired woman and she countered, ploughing her fist into the other woman's small nose. The short haired woman fell backwards into the crowd and Willow stood looking slightly dazed for a moment. All of a sudden, she noticed the pain in her hand and grasped it as she winced.
Tara looked back over at Kristen and Buffy but couldn't see the tall brunette. Buffy stood, hands on hips, smirking at the crowd. Tara made her way forwards and spotted Kristen lying flat on her back, obviously unconscious. Her nose was bloodied and she had obviously taken quite a beating. Several of her gang scurried towards her and carried her limp body away.
Tara turned to look back at Willow and Buffy to find the strong blonde glaring menacingly back at her. She took an involuntary step backwards, noticing the crowd had already started to dissipate. Her hand moved up to nervously finger the pendant her mother had given to her on her thirteenth birthday. She remembered gazing at the dark blue stone as her mother told her she had proven to be an accomplished witch.
"You want some of the same?" Buffy said calmly.
Finding it hard to form any sort of words, Tara took another step backwards. Buffy walked forwards though, quickly closing the gap between them. There would be no way she could stop the other woman from serving her the same treatment as she had with Kristen. She could use magic against Buffy but she had been taught never to use it to harm another being and force would be the only way to stop her. Tara closed her eyes, readying herself for the inevitable blow.
It never came.
Tara opened her eyes gingerly, not making any sudden movements. She saw Willow at Buffy's side, her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Wait." She uttered, pulling Buffy away from Tara. "I think she." With a glance back at Tara, Willow didn't finish her sentence.
Buffy nodded, seemingly knowing what the redhead meant. She turned back to Tara. "Maybe you should reconsider who you hand around." With that, she walked back to her tent, quickly disappearing inside.
Willow was left standing, looking at Tara. Though her face was expressionless, Tara could see the myriad of emotions playing through those beautiful green eyes. She so very much wanted to go to her and apologise for everything that had happened but something told her she wouldn't be welcomed. It seemed an eternity that they stood staring at one another, neither making a move.
Tara eventually decided she'd better leave, before Buffy figured that her friend was wrong and she was a threat after all. She slowly turned and stepped forwards, towards the crowds of people.
"What's your name?" She heard the voice drift over her shoulder.
She turned and looked at Willow, surprised at her question. Of all the things she expected the redhead to say to her, that wasn't one of them. Maybe an outburst of hate or anger, but certainly not asking for her name. "T-Tara." She felt angry at herself for stuttering but was just glad she got the word out.
Tara was sure she saw a flicker of a smile light the redhead's eyes but she didn't stay to find out. She melted quickly into the throng of people, her destination unknown. She wondered why she hadn't stayed, after all the redhead hadn't seemed confrontational. Now she thought about it, she had seemed curious and maybe just a little confused. She shook her head at her own cowardice. If only she had the bravery to follow her heart for once.
*
Willow slowly lay back on the bed of blankets inside her and Buffy's safe haven. The confining space of the tent was welcoming at that moment. She winced as the muscles of her stomach tensed and she guessed she had probably bruised some ribs. She wondered how long they would take to heal and hoped none of the vampire guards would notice. They tended to snack on the weaker individuals or those who weren't as efficient workers. She looked down at her right hand, frowning at the reddening knuckles. She was, however, quite proud of herself. That had to be the hardest punch she had delivered, yet.
She wasn't quite sure how she had gotten herself out of that human sandwich but she had a niggling feeling it may have had something to do with that blonde woman. She thought back to the sequence of actions that had led to her coming face to face with her again. That Kristen Zinscher had turned up and threatened Buffy as per usual. Willow didn't know why she continued to bother, she always got her ass kicked. Willow had clambered out of the tent after Buffy and she noticed the blonde girl immediately. Her heart had sunk at the sight, knowing she was against Buffy and herself now.
How ironic. The only person I even remotely like and she picks the wrong side. The fight had started, leading to Willow's extremely sore ribs and, just when she thought she was going have the living daylights beaten out of her, she was free of that brown haired bitch's grip. She remembered feeling something moments before it happened, some sort of surge of energy. She didn't know where it had come from but she had instantly thought of the blonde woman. Just wishful thinking, I think.
Then, after the fight, after all the 'gang' had left, she had remained behind. The blonde woman had looked scared but still she didn't run away. Willow hoped it was because she hadn't really wanted to harm Buffy or her but she couldn't be sure of that. At least one good thing had come from all of it. She knew the blonde's name.
Tara. It was such simple name but it held such power for Willow. She had stuttered when she had told Willow her name but she didn't think any less of the blonde for that. In fact, she had found it quite cute. If only I could tell her that. She sighed, knowing that would never happen. They were on opposite sides now and Buffy wouldn't easily forget that, nor forgive it.
"Hey, you okay?" Buffy asked, concern etching a furrow across her friend's forehead.
Willow forced a smile. "Yeah."
Buffy sat looking at the redhead thoughtfully. "You hung up about Miss. Prospective Friend stabbing you in the back?" She said with genuine sympathy.
Willow sighed again. "Not really. I mean, I don't think she stabbed me in the back. I think." She didn't finish, not sure of the facts herself.
"What?" Buffy probed.
"I think. she, uh, might have helped me." She said, hoping her friend wouldn't laugh in her face.
Buffy's eyebrows shot towards the heavens. "How? She came nowhere near you." She questioned doubtfully.
"I know. But." Willow shrugged. "Just a feeling."
"Right." Buffy muttered. "Well, at least you're feeling something." She said, winking at her friend. Willow just frowned at the blonde, not appreciating her humour.
Buffy was, in part, right though. She hadn't been feeling a heck of a lot lately, apart from doom and gloom. Only when Tara had turned up had she been exposed to a wider range of emotions. But now she had lost all hope with starting any sort of friendship with the blonde and she was back with the depression again. She wiped her uninjured hand over her face, letting it come to a halt over her eyes. She wished she could block out all her thoughts like she could the light.
She groaned as she realised she would have to work underground again tonight, so she could look forward to more pain and aches. She knew Buffy would be with her though so that was a relief. Her friend would handle most of the heavy lifting and often give Willow the chance to catch her breath.
"You do realise we're working tonight?" Willow asked, still blocking the light out with her hand.
"Yep." Buffy answered.
"You sound almost cheerful about it." Willow propped herself up onto her elbows. "Oh, I forgot. You never get bruises, or aches, or cuts, or scrapes."
Buffy laughed. "That'll teach you for getting hit. Next time, avoid the fists." She said pointedly.
Willow snorted. "Easy for you to say. You're like Wonder Woman on speed." She sat up completely, her shoulder slumping forwards. "How'd you get so fit anyway?"
"It's called exercising, Will. You should try it sometime." Came the reply.
"The only exercise you do is horizontal jogging." Willow retorted, before slumping back down into the blankets.
Buffy merely laughed. "Something you should give a try as well." She poked at the redhead's leg. "You might not be so uptight."
Willow glared at the blonde but didn't bother replying. They could exchange comments like this for hours and she just didn't have the energy for it right now. She needed to get some rest before she had to go underground or else she would fall victim to the bloodsuckers. There was always the chance of that anyway but she didn't like to tempt the vampires even further.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wondered if she would dream of the beautiful blonde again and secretly hoped she would. At least that was a happy place and full of more sensations than fear and depression. She would welcome her dream Tara any day, even if she couldn't have the real thing.
END OF CHAPTER 1