Part Three
Early sunlight through Maria's bedroom woke her before the alarm had its chance. Squinting, she glanced at the clock, saw that it was seven. Her night had been short since it had taken her awhile to fall asleep. Every muscle in her body ached, so she stretched like a cat, arching her back, extending her limps as far as she could in every direction. She yawned several times, then rolled over onto her side.
The prom picture of her and Max was still on her night stand.
Hope deflated quickly within her and she decided that fate was indeed cruel to disillusion her so early in the day. Nothing had changed. She was still stuck in the parallel universe where Max Evans was her boyfriend, maybe even her lover.
That thought hit home and Maria sat up quickly. She'd never known anyone but Michael, but was it possible that she now knew Max, too? Or had she not had sex at all yet? Was she miraculously a virgin again?
Head spinning from the possibilities, she rummaged in her nightstand, looking for a pad of paper. If the past had truly changed, if she was the one who was shot, then it was conceivable that she would eventually lose all recollection of her "prior" life, of how she had gotten to this stage, and just become what the new past intended her to be.
Scribbling frantically, she wrote down as much as she could remember -details of the original shooting, of finding out about the aliens, about meeting and falling in love with Michael. She also documented the crash of Tess's spaceship and the black cone that had so unceremoniously dumped her here in this other world.
Maria looked across her room and out the window. Was it possible that she really was on another world? Was the cone a transportation device that had really sent her to some other planet? Was she not on earth? Watching the trees sway with the gentle breeze outside of her window, she decided that idea was too far-fetched, too much like a bad episode of "Star Trek."
Another glance at the clock showed that she was going to be late for school. Right now she needed to be as inconspicuous as possible and that meant being everywhere she was supposed to be. Until she figured things out, she needed to blend in and try to act normal. Her behavior last night with Max had not been normal. She would have to come up with some reasonable explanation for him today. She just hoped she could keep up the charade of being madly in love with him all the while knowing he was Liz's and she belonged to Michael.
Maria glanced down at the writing pad - it was official, she had become Liz Parker, spilling out her experiences on paper. And just like Liz Parker, Maria needed to conceal her experiences, so she stuffed the writing pad between her mattresses. If she was going to lose her memories, it was probably a poor idea to hide the pad, but she also couldn't risk her mother getting a hold of it. Then she'd definitely be off to the loony bin.
In the closet, she found a pair of jeans she didn't know she owned and a red stretch T-shirt. Clothed, she looked in the mirror at her reflection for the first time.
Her hair was short, like it had been when Michael first told her he loved her then walked away from her after killing Agent Pierce. Her hair hadn't been like that in two years. Eyes wide, she stared at her reflection in disbelief. How was it possible that she was the same person on the inside but totally different on the outside?
Maria shook herself out of her daze and managed to avoid her mother as she left the house. No telling what had happened to that woman in light of recent events.
West Roswell High hadn't changed at all and that was an odd comfort. Lockers were assigned alphabetically, so Maria took a guess that hers would be in the same vicinity as it was in the real world. She rounded the corner and found her P.J. Harvey concert sticker stuck exactly where she had expected it to be. A smile curved her lips and she found it bizarre that school had become her one comfort.
As she zeroed in on the locker, she noticed that Isabel was walking toward her. The tall blond had some girls with her Maria didn't recognize. Now was the time to start acting "normal", so Maria pasted on a smile.
"Morning, Isabel," she called.
Isabel paused long enough to give her an indignant look, then tossed her hair and kept walking with her friends.
"Who was that?" one of the friends asked, the last word spoken with utter disdain.
Even though she couldn't hear Isabel's response, it garnered giggles from the group and Maria watched after her in disbelief - the Ice Princess still lived? She shook her head and started to work the combination on her locker. So much for acting "normal" - apparently speaking to Isabel Evans was not a normal behavior for this version of Maria Deluca.
"Hey, Maria."
That was Liz's voice. Maria's heart leapt with joy and she looked up just in time to see Liz pass her by, followed by an entourage of Kyle's groupies. Her smile faded away as she noticed that Liz was wearing a cheerleading uniform and that Kyle's arm was slung around her shoulders. Even worse, Liz hadn't stopped to have the normal morning chat with her, like they always did before school. For the second time in as many hours, Maria felt her hope wane.
She turned back to her locker and thanked herself for being anal enough to tape a copy of her class schedule to the door - it always took her at least two weeks at the beginning of the school year to remember what classes she had when and often she forgot to take the schedule down once she'd memorized it. First period - English. She could handle that. What she couldn't handle was Liz Parker becoming one of the "in" crowd.
"Hey."
And that was Max's voice.
Maria looked up as he slid in beside her, his eyes soft, concerned.
"Hey," she said, smiling.
"You didn't call," he said, his voice sounding somewhat wounded. Maria imagined that voice, soft, sort of sexy, in the dark and wondered why she was thinking of that. Oh, crap - maybe she had just experienced a memory flash of her new self and she and Max had done the deed.
"I'm sorry," she said, giving her best please-forgive-me smile. "I felt so awful when I got home that I just went straight to bed."
He nodded, looked down at his shoes. Jeez - was he always this bashful? "You didn't show up for coffee," he said.
Maria stopped. Great - not only did they have rituals she didn't know about, she had also blown her whole "be where she was supposed to be" approach to inconspicuousness. She had no idea what he meant, so she decided to act like she hadn't heard him. "I'm sorry?"
"Coffee," he said, looking at her. "You know - The Java Jitter every morning before school?"
She nearly broke out laughing. The Java Jitter? Someone had opened a coffee house in Roswell called The Java Jitter? She quickly recovered and gave an ashamed tip of her head. "I overslept, Max. I just got here. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he said, reached out and ran his fingers along her forearm. His touch was warm, welcoming. "As long as you feel better?" His eyebrows rose slightly.
She nodded, tried another convincing smile. "Yeah, much better. Sorry for wigging out on you last night."
He shook his head. "No apology necessary." Then he dipped his head and gave her a short, gentle good-morning kiss. She choked back her surprise and reminded herself that this was "normal" activity, that she needed to relax or he was going to start thinking something was wrong again.
When they broke apart, she smiled at him again and wondered why her cheeks were blushing. No, she corrected herself - she knew why she was blushing. It was because she'd never kissed Max Evans before and he was Liz's boyfriend, not hers. It was perfectly natural to blush at a time like this. Well, okay, technically she had kissed him before, but that was when she was still dazed from her journey and it didn't really count, she hadn't been concentrating on it. But now, standing in a hallway at school all she could so was concentrate on it.
Max seemed to find it amusing. He laughed a little laugh and put his arm around her shoulders and started to steer her down the hallway. Oh, God. Did he walk her to her classes? Maria eyed him curiously. Michael would never walk her to one of her classes - too queer, he'd tell her. He would, however, stalk her and hover outside of her classes waiting for them to end.
"See you in bio," Max said softly as he left her at the door to her English class. Maria watched him walk away, thought that somehow some of the confidence was gone from his step. He seemed cautious, tentative - like he had in the beginning of his relationship with Liz.
Maria concentrated on none of her classes. Part of her decided she didn't need to - she wasn't planning on staying here so what was the point? The other part of her was busy trying to figure out how she could get home. Every now and then, she made herself dredge up a memory from the other world, just so she wouldn't let that life slip away.
Between every class, she passed what would have been Michael's locker and looked for him. He never appeared, but Michael's truancy was nothing new. Maria frowned - if he had been a responsible individual and had taken his education seriously, then she would at least be able to depend on him attending school and giving her some little spark of hope. But there was no Michael to be found.
In bio, Maria hesitated outside of the classroom until she saw Max sit, then assumed she was his lab partner and slid onto a stool beside him. When he smiled at her - a private smile - she knew that her assumption had been correct. As the classroom filled up, she noticed Liz and Kyle take a work station on the opposite side of the room. Liz never even looked up at her as she was busy joking around with Kyle and yet more of his friends. Maria looked at Max to see if he was noticing Liz and her heart sank when she realized he wasn't. Not even a guilty glance out of the corner of his eye.
Was it possible in this world Max was immune to Liz? Maria stared straight ahead, dumbfounded. That whole thing didn't add up. Even though they were living in some twisted version of reality, Maria believed that Max and Liz had the kind of relationship that would endure any twisting of the circumstances. In fact, when she had nothing else to hold onto, to believe in, she thought about what those two had and told herself that there were people out there who were meant to be together, that there were such things as destiny and soul mates. To sit here and think that wasn't true was somewhat devastating.
He's a guy, Maria told herself. He won't look while I'm here. So she reached in her purse, pulled out a piece of gum, offered him a stick that he refused, then rose to throw her wrapper in the trashcan by the door. The whole time she was walking, she was looking out of the corners of her eyes, trying to see if Max was looking at Liz. As she returned to their lab station, she looked directly at him. He remained with his head down, doodling on his book cover.
Maria sat down somewhat dejectedly, her hands folded between her thighs. She looked at Liz, who was laughing with her 'popular' friends. Maria's hazel eyes drifted to Liz's right. Kyle.
A little light of hope sparked deep down inside. If Max had somehow never managed to come out of his introverted hole, then maybe he avoided looking at Liz because of Kyle. Kyle had always ridden Max, had intimidated him with threats of exposing him to the sheriff. Maria smiled. There was definitely hope.
After class - Maria discovered that she knew nothing about biology compared to Max - school was over for the day and Max held her hand and walked her to her car. She found this amusing, too. As they reached the Jetta, he pulled them to a stop and brushed a hair away from her cheek.
"You're working later, right?" he asked, squinting slightly into the afternoon sun.
"Right," she affirmed with a smile, hoping she was agreeing to the truth.
"I'll come see you," he offered almost as though he was asking permission.
"Of course you will," she joked and was rewarded with an uncharacteristic, wide smile from Max.
He laughed lightly and put his hands on her waist. "I'm glad you're feeling better." Then he put one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders and pulled her body tight to his, so tight that her face was buried tightly against his chest and breathing was near impossible.
Maria could hear him breathe, could feel his heart beating against her cheek, could feel his strong arms around her body and could smell the manly scent of his cologne. None of those sensations seemed unfamiliar to her and she knew for certain in that instant that she and Max Evans shared an intimate relationship. A memory, nothing more than a few micro-seconds of time, flashed through her mind in which she saw dim lights, soft sheets and bare skin.
Max pulled away and gave her a quick kiss, then a longer one. "Later," he said, his eyes creasing with a smile as he walked away.
Maria watched him move towards his jeep and wondered what their relationship was like. So far, Max had been courteous to a fault - caring, compassionate, giving. He was definitely nothing like Michael Guerin.
That's it, Maria told herself. Keep reminding yourself of Michael. That way you won't lose track of who you really are.
Because Maria's worst fear was being sucked into this existence and never being able to leave.
Early sunlight through Maria's bedroom woke her before the alarm had its chance. Squinting, she glanced at the clock, saw that it was seven. Her night had been short since it had taken her awhile to fall asleep. Every muscle in her body ached, so she stretched like a cat, arching her back, extending her limps as far as she could in every direction. She yawned several times, then rolled over onto her side.
The prom picture of her and Max was still on her night stand.
Hope deflated quickly within her and she decided that fate was indeed cruel to disillusion her so early in the day. Nothing had changed. She was still stuck in the parallel universe where Max Evans was her boyfriend, maybe even her lover.
That thought hit home and Maria sat up quickly. She'd never known anyone but Michael, but was it possible that she now knew Max, too? Or had she not had sex at all yet? Was she miraculously a virgin again?
Head spinning from the possibilities, she rummaged in her nightstand, looking for a pad of paper. If the past had truly changed, if she was the one who was shot, then it was conceivable that she would eventually lose all recollection of her "prior" life, of how she had gotten to this stage, and just become what the new past intended her to be.
Scribbling frantically, she wrote down as much as she could remember -details of the original shooting, of finding out about the aliens, about meeting and falling in love with Michael. She also documented the crash of Tess's spaceship and the black cone that had so unceremoniously dumped her here in this other world.
Maria looked across her room and out the window. Was it possible that she really was on another world? Was the cone a transportation device that had really sent her to some other planet? Was she not on earth? Watching the trees sway with the gentle breeze outside of her window, she decided that idea was too far-fetched, too much like a bad episode of "Star Trek."
Another glance at the clock showed that she was going to be late for school. Right now she needed to be as inconspicuous as possible and that meant being everywhere she was supposed to be. Until she figured things out, she needed to blend in and try to act normal. Her behavior last night with Max had not been normal. She would have to come up with some reasonable explanation for him today. She just hoped she could keep up the charade of being madly in love with him all the while knowing he was Liz's and she belonged to Michael.
Maria glanced down at the writing pad - it was official, she had become Liz Parker, spilling out her experiences on paper. And just like Liz Parker, Maria needed to conceal her experiences, so she stuffed the writing pad between her mattresses. If she was going to lose her memories, it was probably a poor idea to hide the pad, but she also couldn't risk her mother getting a hold of it. Then she'd definitely be off to the loony bin.
In the closet, she found a pair of jeans she didn't know she owned and a red stretch T-shirt. Clothed, she looked in the mirror at her reflection for the first time.
Her hair was short, like it had been when Michael first told her he loved her then walked away from her after killing Agent Pierce. Her hair hadn't been like that in two years. Eyes wide, she stared at her reflection in disbelief. How was it possible that she was the same person on the inside but totally different on the outside?
Maria shook herself out of her daze and managed to avoid her mother as she left the house. No telling what had happened to that woman in light of recent events.
West Roswell High hadn't changed at all and that was an odd comfort. Lockers were assigned alphabetically, so Maria took a guess that hers would be in the same vicinity as it was in the real world. She rounded the corner and found her P.J. Harvey concert sticker stuck exactly where she had expected it to be. A smile curved her lips and she found it bizarre that school had become her one comfort.
As she zeroed in on the locker, she noticed that Isabel was walking toward her. The tall blond had some girls with her Maria didn't recognize. Now was the time to start acting "normal", so Maria pasted on a smile.
"Morning, Isabel," she called.
Isabel paused long enough to give her an indignant look, then tossed her hair and kept walking with her friends.
"Who was that?" one of the friends asked, the last word spoken with utter disdain.
Even though she couldn't hear Isabel's response, it garnered giggles from the group and Maria watched after her in disbelief - the Ice Princess still lived? She shook her head and started to work the combination on her locker. So much for acting "normal" - apparently speaking to Isabel Evans was not a normal behavior for this version of Maria Deluca.
"Hey, Maria."
That was Liz's voice. Maria's heart leapt with joy and she looked up just in time to see Liz pass her by, followed by an entourage of Kyle's groupies. Her smile faded away as she noticed that Liz was wearing a cheerleading uniform and that Kyle's arm was slung around her shoulders. Even worse, Liz hadn't stopped to have the normal morning chat with her, like they always did before school. For the second time in as many hours, Maria felt her hope wane.
She turned back to her locker and thanked herself for being anal enough to tape a copy of her class schedule to the door - it always took her at least two weeks at the beginning of the school year to remember what classes she had when and often she forgot to take the schedule down once she'd memorized it. First period - English. She could handle that. What she couldn't handle was Liz Parker becoming one of the "in" crowd.
"Hey."
And that was Max's voice.
Maria looked up as he slid in beside her, his eyes soft, concerned.
"Hey," she said, smiling.
"You didn't call," he said, his voice sounding somewhat wounded. Maria imagined that voice, soft, sort of sexy, in the dark and wondered why she was thinking of that. Oh, crap - maybe she had just experienced a memory flash of her new self and she and Max had done the deed.
"I'm sorry," she said, giving her best please-forgive-me smile. "I felt so awful when I got home that I just went straight to bed."
He nodded, looked down at his shoes. Jeez - was he always this bashful? "You didn't show up for coffee," he said.
Maria stopped. Great - not only did they have rituals she didn't know about, she had also blown her whole "be where she was supposed to be" approach to inconspicuousness. She had no idea what he meant, so she decided to act like she hadn't heard him. "I'm sorry?"
"Coffee," he said, looking at her. "You know - The Java Jitter every morning before school?"
She nearly broke out laughing. The Java Jitter? Someone had opened a coffee house in Roswell called The Java Jitter? She quickly recovered and gave an ashamed tip of her head. "I overslept, Max. I just got here. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he said, reached out and ran his fingers along her forearm. His touch was warm, welcoming. "As long as you feel better?" His eyebrows rose slightly.
She nodded, tried another convincing smile. "Yeah, much better. Sorry for wigging out on you last night."
He shook his head. "No apology necessary." Then he dipped his head and gave her a short, gentle good-morning kiss. She choked back her surprise and reminded herself that this was "normal" activity, that she needed to relax or he was going to start thinking something was wrong again.
When they broke apart, she smiled at him again and wondered why her cheeks were blushing. No, she corrected herself - she knew why she was blushing. It was because she'd never kissed Max Evans before and he was Liz's boyfriend, not hers. It was perfectly natural to blush at a time like this. Well, okay, technically she had kissed him before, but that was when she was still dazed from her journey and it didn't really count, she hadn't been concentrating on it. But now, standing in a hallway at school all she could so was concentrate on it.
Max seemed to find it amusing. He laughed a little laugh and put his arm around her shoulders and started to steer her down the hallway. Oh, God. Did he walk her to her classes? Maria eyed him curiously. Michael would never walk her to one of her classes - too queer, he'd tell her. He would, however, stalk her and hover outside of her classes waiting for them to end.
"See you in bio," Max said softly as he left her at the door to her English class. Maria watched him walk away, thought that somehow some of the confidence was gone from his step. He seemed cautious, tentative - like he had in the beginning of his relationship with Liz.
Maria concentrated on none of her classes. Part of her decided she didn't need to - she wasn't planning on staying here so what was the point? The other part of her was busy trying to figure out how she could get home. Every now and then, she made herself dredge up a memory from the other world, just so she wouldn't let that life slip away.
Between every class, she passed what would have been Michael's locker and looked for him. He never appeared, but Michael's truancy was nothing new. Maria frowned - if he had been a responsible individual and had taken his education seriously, then she would at least be able to depend on him attending school and giving her some little spark of hope. But there was no Michael to be found.
In bio, Maria hesitated outside of the classroom until she saw Max sit, then assumed she was his lab partner and slid onto a stool beside him. When he smiled at her - a private smile - she knew that her assumption had been correct. As the classroom filled up, she noticed Liz and Kyle take a work station on the opposite side of the room. Liz never even looked up at her as she was busy joking around with Kyle and yet more of his friends. Maria looked at Max to see if he was noticing Liz and her heart sank when she realized he wasn't. Not even a guilty glance out of the corner of his eye.
Was it possible in this world Max was immune to Liz? Maria stared straight ahead, dumbfounded. That whole thing didn't add up. Even though they were living in some twisted version of reality, Maria believed that Max and Liz had the kind of relationship that would endure any twisting of the circumstances. In fact, when she had nothing else to hold onto, to believe in, she thought about what those two had and told herself that there were people out there who were meant to be together, that there were such things as destiny and soul mates. To sit here and think that wasn't true was somewhat devastating.
He's a guy, Maria told herself. He won't look while I'm here. So she reached in her purse, pulled out a piece of gum, offered him a stick that he refused, then rose to throw her wrapper in the trashcan by the door. The whole time she was walking, she was looking out of the corners of her eyes, trying to see if Max was looking at Liz. As she returned to their lab station, she looked directly at him. He remained with his head down, doodling on his book cover.
Maria sat down somewhat dejectedly, her hands folded between her thighs. She looked at Liz, who was laughing with her 'popular' friends. Maria's hazel eyes drifted to Liz's right. Kyle.
A little light of hope sparked deep down inside. If Max had somehow never managed to come out of his introverted hole, then maybe he avoided looking at Liz because of Kyle. Kyle had always ridden Max, had intimidated him with threats of exposing him to the sheriff. Maria smiled. There was definitely hope.
After class - Maria discovered that she knew nothing about biology compared to Max - school was over for the day and Max held her hand and walked her to her car. She found this amusing, too. As they reached the Jetta, he pulled them to a stop and brushed a hair away from her cheek.
"You're working later, right?" he asked, squinting slightly into the afternoon sun.
"Right," she affirmed with a smile, hoping she was agreeing to the truth.
"I'll come see you," he offered almost as though he was asking permission.
"Of course you will," she joked and was rewarded with an uncharacteristic, wide smile from Max.
He laughed lightly and put his hands on her waist. "I'm glad you're feeling better." Then he put one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders and pulled her body tight to his, so tight that her face was buried tightly against his chest and breathing was near impossible.
Maria could hear him breathe, could feel his heart beating against her cheek, could feel his strong arms around her body and could smell the manly scent of his cologne. None of those sensations seemed unfamiliar to her and she knew for certain in that instant that she and Max Evans shared an intimate relationship. A memory, nothing more than a few micro-seconds of time, flashed through her mind in which she saw dim lights, soft sheets and bare skin.
Max pulled away and gave her a quick kiss, then a longer one. "Later," he said, his eyes creasing with a smile as he walked away.
Maria watched him move towards his jeep and wondered what their relationship was like. So far, Max had been courteous to a fault - caring, compassionate, giving. He was definitely nothing like Michael Guerin.
That's it, Maria told herself. Keep reminding yourself of Michael. That way you won't lose track of who you really are.
Because Maria's worst fear was being sucked into this existence and never being able to leave.