Shadows of Fire

*Chapter 3*


"What?" Buffy exclaims.
Everyone is staring at me waiting for an explanation.
I've already told them so much tonight.
More than I ever wanted any of them to know.
But they know there's more I can tell them.
I was wrong before, not informing them of the situation.

I'm not going to make that mistake again.
Especially since I know what's happening. What's going to happen.

"The spirit of the First Slayer is in you, Buffy."
"Wh-? But that's impossible! Th-there's no way!" This is pretty much how I expected her to take it...
"It is. You shouldn't be alarmed. You're still yourself, Buffy. Nothing has changed."

"Of course things have changed!"
She looks really upset about this. She won't even let me explain.
"I know this is upsetting but rest assured this is something that can be taken care of."
I've moved closer to her. Not to exclude the others but this is a very important issue.

"How? How did this happen?"
"Your resurrection. The First Slayer joined with you when you were brought back."

She's silent; extremely shocked.
"I believe she saved you. If she had not interfered with the spell you'd probably be in another dimension."

She doesn't understand. I look to Willow to see if she does. She's just as confused.
It's not that difficult to comprehend. Do they not understand anything?
"Willow's spell was never completed..."

"Those ugly biker demons!" Anya interrupts. I glance at her.
"Yes. Whatever interfered stopped the spell from finishing."
"I always wondered why it worked." Willow whispers.
Buffy's eyes are big. "What?"

"Well… I thought… I mean I knew it would've worked. But I wasn't done yet!"

"It wouldn't have worked. Buffy shouldn't be here. She is because of the First Slayer."

"Why did she save me?" Buffy quietly asks me.
"That... I don't know."

Everyone is silent.
"How do you know all this?" Xander asks.
Good question. Sometimes the boy surprises me.
"Simple really. Once again, because of my Shadow. I know things that should not be known."

Xander thinks on that for a moment. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I didn't know about this until a few days ago. And I now understand why the First is attacking."

"The Eye said it was Buffy." Anya contributes.
"It is. And it isn't. The spirit of the First Slayer shouldn't be in this realm."

"Well, that's kind of a given." Anya states. "Oh, so that's what started the weakness in the Slayer Line."
"Yes. The First Evil is taking advantage of that, to take control of the world. It's going to make the world a demon paradise unless we stop this."
"If no new Slayer can be called then there's no hero of the people, to fight the demons."

"Exactly, Dawn. Which is why we must remove her from Buffy."

This is going to be complicated and dangerous.
I know that they are strong. But this battle is going to be the biggest yet.
I can hardly remember how many times I've thought that.
But just as Buffy knows, I know also, they won't all make it.

"Is that safe?" Willow asks.
"What'll happen to Buffy?" Xander nervously asks me.
Buffy is sitting quietly and just looking at me.
All the potentials are smart and staying silent.
"It's perfectly safe. Buffy will not be harmed. There's a simple spell. I'll need help though."

I have to trust that Willow can do this.
Although I should probably seek help from the Coven.
But then Apocalypses have a way of destroying plans.
As well as lives.

"I think I know what spell you are talking about!" Anya enthusiastically says.
"I'm not sure…" Willow barely whispers.
"Any help that you can provide will be appreciated, Willow. And I'm sure Anya can do most of the magic."

"When?" Buffy dully asks.
"Soon. Tomorrow night would be best."

She nods her head. And moves to the kitchen.
"Buffy…"
"I'm going to check on Spike."

Dawn gets up to go to her. But before I can tell her not to, Xander's stopped her.
Good, Buffy needs time to herself. Even if that time is with Spike.

I can't believe she took the chip out! There is so much going on and she does that?

I'll have to talk with her later.
She already has enough to think about. Courtesy of me especially.

I just wish I could take all her burdens from her.
Let her rest.
Let her live.
But she's the Slayer. And she surprises me everyday with her strength.
This obviously has been a shock to her though.

"I'll be right back. Can you get some of the books together for research?"

"Yeah, sure… Giles?"

"Yes. What is it, Xander?"

"Do you… Should we… "

He looks pained at the news he has just heard. Both about Buffy and myself.
I wait to see if he'll try to continue.
"Never mind." He finishes.

There's very little time to discuss things.
I told them what I am. And why I've changed.
But there is no way they'll ever understand. And if they do, it'll take a while.
They aren't children anymore… the last year saw to that…
But this is just so personal. Sharing ones darkness...

They may understand calling a demon. And they certainly understand killing demons.
But they won't understand letting a demon into yourself.
Wanting it to be there. To be stronger.
They wouldn't understand wanting a demon in you.
And the power of that.
I know that Willow and Buffy understand about power.
And how easy it is to lose control.
But it's a silent understanding.
You don't speak of these things.
I may be an educated man but there are no words to describe this.
No examples or texts.

This is in me. I asked for it.
I've used it only for good.
But my grip on the power is slipping.
I have to find a solution to this problem.
Prevent myself from harming anyone.
I'd hate to see that what I thought was right, was wrong.

The balance in this world has been disturbed.
Many things have caused this. Good always fights against evil. Evil always fights against good.
But this is the first time that one may completely overcome the other.

I head toward the basement where I can hear Buffy going down the stairs.
I need to tell her this is not her fault.
She seemed to leave the room with that impression.
She has always taken so many responsibilities.
She shouldn't take blame for this.
There is no one to blame.

A multitude of events as well as people have brought us to this point.

And I'm sure there is more than even I know of.
Dawn's very existence and the opening and closing of the portal.
Willow and her spell to bring Buffy back to the world and us.
Her attempt to destroy the world. She connected with and used powers even I can't imagine.
And the First Slayer joining with Buffy as well as Buffy's resurrection.
…Spike earning his soul.

This still amazes me…
Soulless demons shouldn't love! And they especially shouldn't quest for their souls!
Buffy hasn't told me much. But I don't need to be told. I know.
Perhaps not the why part of it... But I do know the how.

Everything is connected and affects the balance of the world.
Not many deliberately try to destroy the balance. Including evil creatures.
Most don't have the power or brains. Most don't feel it's necessary.
But this time the game has a player that's more powerful than any other.
And It has power. Albeit limited power. But that's just at the moment.
If we don't act fast, those limits will vanish. It will find a way to become more.
Maybe more than we can fight.

~


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