Someone had mentioned something about me characterizing Giles wrong... Well...
I honestly don't know what to say, besides the fact that it's just how it
happened in my fic. Buffy had been being hard on him through most of the
season. But oh well. Sorry you think I did him wrong, but it was how I wanted
to do him. And finally, another chapter. And obviously, now that the finale
is over with, this is not how it goes. But we knew that anyway, right?
I think it's kinda shorter than the others, but I think it fits well with my intentions. Attempt to enjoy :D
Dawn
Here I am, laying on Willow's floor. A few streaks of sunlight seeping through the curtains are the only thing lighting the room. Nearly a week I've been in here, leaving rarely for food or to use the bathroom. But I don't know what to do with myself anymore. What happens, now that it's all over? I can't be normal again. I've seen to much.
How can I go on with life, without being able to ask Giles for help? How can I go back to school, without Xander giving me a ride? Who's left for me to talk to in boredom, if Spike's gone? Who will protect all of us, now that Buffy's lost all emotion?
But I also wonder what's going to happen to us. It's like we've all been driven crazy. Well, I honestly think we have. We're here almost all day, almost all night. We barely talk, and if we are, it's quietly. Willow, Fred, and Rona all share this room with me, and we're all at least a tiny bit insane. But after all of that, who wouldn't be? The whole gang came from L.A. to help with the battle, but Fred wouldn't go back. I'm not even sure if she was aware that there was somewhere for her to go back to. But we all feel safer together, and I'm glad she's here, even if I barely know her.
Faith lives with us now, too. But I never see her. She's gone all day, and doesn't speak to anybody. But that's okay with me, I guess, I never liked her much anyway.
For some of them, waking up is horrible. They have to remember all the horrible things we saw and that so many are dead all over again. But for me, I can't forget. It's in my every waking moment, it's in every dream I remember. I wake up knowing that there's barely anything to wake up to anymore.
I have a feeling that Buffy is going to make me go back to school in the fall. Well, it's more than a feeling, I know she is. But I'm not right anymore. I can't make it at school. What would my friends think? Do I still have any friends? They're probably all dead, too. It would figure.
But it's not like I have a future anyway. I can go to school, attempt to learn things, but I just know I'll never be the same again. I'll never be able to be productive. I don't feel there's any point to life anymore. Can't I just die, and be sent to some random dimension? Maybe I'll be at peace. Or be able to find somebody, anybody. Then I'd have proof that everyone isn't just gone, that they're all out there, some where. In any of countless dimensions. But they're not gone, not completely.
And if they are, and that's all that happens to people who don't die mystical deaths, then at least I'll be gone. This life isn't worth living anymore. My body, my mind, my spirit... They're all damaged. Broken beyond fixing.
But I don't have the strength to take my own life. I did at one point, but not anymore. It's gone from me for good. I don't have the strength to do anything anymore.
But I want to. With all this depression and hopelessness, I want to get better. I want to be normal. But is it possible? Could anybody possibly help me enough to make me be able to live, with all that I've witnessed? And who could help me, anyway? They don't know about all the evil there is. They've been through so many near-apocalypses, and they haven't known about a single one. I'm doomed to this fate, of feeling like this forever. But I don't want to be.
I think it's kinda shorter than the others, but I think it fits well with my intentions. Attempt to enjoy :D
Dawn
Here I am, laying on Willow's floor. A few streaks of sunlight seeping through the curtains are the only thing lighting the room. Nearly a week I've been in here, leaving rarely for food or to use the bathroom. But I don't know what to do with myself anymore. What happens, now that it's all over? I can't be normal again. I've seen to much.
How can I go on with life, without being able to ask Giles for help? How can I go back to school, without Xander giving me a ride? Who's left for me to talk to in boredom, if Spike's gone? Who will protect all of us, now that Buffy's lost all emotion?
But I also wonder what's going to happen to us. It's like we've all been driven crazy. Well, I honestly think we have. We're here almost all day, almost all night. We barely talk, and if we are, it's quietly. Willow, Fred, and Rona all share this room with me, and we're all at least a tiny bit insane. But after all of that, who wouldn't be? The whole gang came from L.A. to help with the battle, but Fred wouldn't go back. I'm not even sure if she was aware that there was somewhere for her to go back to. But we all feel safer together, and I'm glad she's here, even if I barely know her.
Faith lives with us now, too. But I never see her. She's gone all day, and doesn't speak to anybody. But that's okay with me, I guess, I never liked her much anyway.
For some of them, waking up is horrible. They have to remember all the horrible things we saw and that so many are dead all over again. But for me, I can't forget. It's in my every waking moment, it's in every dream I remember. I wake up knowing that there's barely anything to wake up to anymore.
I have a feeling that Buffy is going to make me go back to school in the fall. Well, it's more than a feeling, I know she is. But I'm not right anymore. I can't make it at school. What would my friends think? Do I still have any friends? They're probably all dead, too. It would figure.
But it's not like I have a future anyway. I can go to school, attempt to learn things, but I just know I'll never be the same again. I'll never be able to be productive. I don't feel there's any point to life anymore. Can't I just die, and be sent to some random dimension? Maybe I'll be at peace. Or be able to find somebody, anybody. Then I'd have proof that everyone isn't just gone, that they're all out there, some where. In any of countless dimensions. But they're not gone, not completely.
And if they are, and that's all that happens to people who don't die mystical deaths, then at least I'll be gone. This life isn't worth living anymore. My body, my mind, my spirit... They're all damaged. Broken beyond fixing.
But I don't have the strength to take my own life. I did at one point, but not anymore. It's gone from me for good. I don't have the strength to do anything anymore.
But I want to. With all this depression and hopelessness, I want to get better. I want to be normal. But is it possible? Could anybody possibly help me enough to make me be able to live, with all that I've witnessed? And who could help me, anyway? They don't know about all the evil there is. They've been through so many near-apocalypses, and they haven't known about a single one. I'm doomed to this fate, of feeling like this forever. But I don't want to be.