Disclaimer: Characters are OOC and since the language of Austen's time is a
bit out of my scope, I am making do.
Chapter 3 The Accident
The Colonel saw his friend's face; it was utterly crestfallen.
Liam looked around . where was the lovely angel? She had disappeared, as angels are wont to do.
"Harcourt, Mary is going to come back. Maybe, this time, instead of making a grand entrance as your ego wants, maybe you'd like to introduce yourself as we do in polite society." The Colonel said laughingly.
"My dear Fitzwilliam, I don't think you understand polite society. It needs men like me who can make a fine and stylish entrance." A snort was the response to his lovely speech, a sputtered cough "dandy"
"What? What was it that you said?"
"Hmm.Me? Nothing at all." The Colonel's large grin, of course, belied the statement.
Liam's retort subsided when he saw Mary begin to descend the stairwell; he slowly glided towards her in a very stylish manner.
Liam did not notice that the corner table was out of place . (insert ominous music)
"Hello my lovely ." Before he could finish the sentence, Liam stumbled. He attempted to regain his balance, but his legs were not obeying and he stumbled farther in the direction of Mary who could only watch the scene unfold with mounting amusement.
However, only Elizabeth could see where Liam's faltering steps were taking him.
"MARY!! Get out of the way!"
But it was too late; Liam finally submitted to the will of gravity and took Mary down with him.
Elizabeth began to chuckle. Georgiana and Kitty were in full-fledged hysterics, and the Colonel and his cousin Darcy were guffawing.
"Excuse me, Sir, but if you would be so kind as to remove yourself from my person? It would be most appreciated." Mary could only say from under the weight of the Earl Liam Harcourt.
"Of course." What else could he say and immediately stood up offering a gentlemanly hand in aid.
"Thank you very much, you were quite heavy." Mary said brushing herself off. She was quite embarrassed and her cheeks were flushed red.
"Oh Mary, are you all right?" Elizabeth asked with concern when she had gotten hold over her hilarity.
"I am perfectly fine, thank you very much." Holding her head up high, she walked back up the stairs and went to her room for a good sulk over her embarrassment.
Kitty and Georgiana quickly curtsied and followed Mary, walking as quickly as proper decorum allowed.
"Mary, are you really all right?" Kitty asked, for no matter how much she teased Mary and Mary teased her, they were sisters.
"I am fine, my bottom and my ego will survive."
"I don't think you are supposed to say the 'b' word in polite society Mary." Georgiana admonished.
"Bottom is a polite word."
"I really don't think it is. But no matter, what we really should discuss is the upcoming Season. We are leaving for London in two weeks!"
"London! But what should we really discuss, Georgiana?"
"Well tactics! Kitty don't you agree?" Asking Kitty whose attention had wandered to the cat on Mary's bed.
"Hmm? Mary don't you know cats suck the life out of you while you sleep?"
"Of course they don't. It is a silly superstition. I think I might have a name for the pretty cat, Georgiana who is that luckless Lord who fell on me?"
"Lord Liam Harcourt, Earl of Weston." Was the prompt answer.
Mary lifted the cat as it tried to squirm away, "I doth pronounce you Weston after that arrogant little man."
"Mary he wasn't little, he was quite tall actually." Kitty protested.
"And quite heavy." The girls laughed.
* * *
Liam was bright red as Darcy and the Colonel led him to the library for another drink.
"Why Liam, who knows what a fabulous dancer you'll be this Season. It seems as if you have lost all your skills that involve, well motion." Darcy said laughingly at his friend
"Oh do be quiet." Liam growled as he glared at the Colonel who was still having quiet hysterics.
This was terrible. He was literally falling for the girl now. And he fell on top of her! Laws of propriety should demand that she marry him now, what a pity that they were surrounded my friends and family who would only laugh it off, mostly at him.
Now what am I doing, thought Liam. What a pity? I do not want to be married. Not yet. Maybe not ever?
And what did the girl mean that he was heavy. Was he, gasp, getting fat?
"Do these pants make me look fat." Liam tried to find a full-length mirror. "Stop laughing Richard (The Colonel is thus named) You, too Darce! It isn't funny!"
* * * "Back to the subject at hand." Georgiana told the avidly listening girls.
Georgiana looked grave. "I may not have had my first Season yet, but I have heard some horror stories that would curl your eyelashes." She frowned for a second; the expression sounded a bit off. Oh well.
The girls settled in comfortably to listen.
"There was this girl, in her first Season in London. Her name was Matilda. And this is the true story of how she was trapped talking with a boor for over two hours at a ball and then was forced to dance twice with him!!!! His name was Elwood. The entire time that they were at the ball, he had somehow forced her into a corner --" there were twin gasps at this "and talked AT her for the entire time about the color red! Red apples, red shoes, red roses, he commented on anything and everything red! The poor girl tried to escape by hinting that she wanted punch. Finally after she asked him straight out, he went to get and came back with her father in tow, and she was ENGAGED!"
"OH NO!!!"
"That poor girl."
"Yes poor girl indeed, and it is very much a true story."
"That's ghastly, simply ghastly!"
"Oh I could tell you more, but I wouldn't want to give you nightmares."
"See why we need a nice tactical strategy? If we find ourselves trapped in an interminable conversation or dancing with those with heavy shoes, we need a way to get out of those situations."
"Good idea Georgiana, what do you suggest?"
Kitty spoke up, "Perhaps if we scratched our noses?"
"I do not think that is very elegant." When Elizabeth opened the door, she saw all were in deep thought.
"What are you girls pondering?"
"Tactics, Elizabeth, tactics." Georgiana responded with the severity and seriousness of a General on the battlefield. Many would argue a Season in London was worse than a real war. At least on the battlefield you knew who your enemies were.
"I think I need a bit of clarification."
"We are afraid that some boors will hunt us down."
"Kitty darling, you do know there are no boars in London, they are safely in the woods."
"Not boars, boors of the human variety."
"I see."
"We need a signal for when we need to be rescued."
"By Jove, I think I've got it!"
"What is it Kitty?"
"We can wave flutter the fan 6 times. No more, no less."
"Fabulous. Now that it is all settled, would you like get dressed for dinner? As we have guests, I hope that you will behave like the lovely young ladies I know you are."
Mary muttered darkly, "I'll behave if that rogue behaves."
"Oh Mary, that was an entirely an accident." Elizabeth said as she exited.
Chapter 3 The Accident
The Colonel saw his friend's face; it was utterly crestfallen.
Liam looked around . where was the lovely angel? She had disappeared, as angels are wont to do.
"Harcourt, Mary is going to come back. Maybe, this time, instead of making a grand entrance as your ego wants, maybe you'd like to introduce yourself as we do in polite society." The Colonel said laughingly.
"My dear Fitzwilliam, I don't think you understand polite society. It needs men like me who can make a fine and stylish entrance." A snort was the response to his lovely speech, a sputtered cough "dandy"
"What? What was it that you said?"
"Hmm.Me? Nothing at all." The Colonel's large grin, of course, belied the statement.
Liam's retort subsided when he saw Mary begin to descend the stairwell; he slowly glided towards her in a very stylish manner.
Liam did not notice that the corner table was out of place . (insert ominous music)
"Hello my lovely ." Before he could finish the sentence, Liam stumbled. He attempted to regain his balance, but his legs were not obeying and he stumbled farther in the direction of Mary who could only watch the scene unfold with mounting amusement.
However, only Elizabeth could see where Liam's faltering steps were taking him.
"MARY!! Get out of the way!"
But it was too late; Liam finally submitted to the will of gravity and took Mary down with him.
Elizabeth began to chuckle. Georgiana and Kitty were in full-fledged hysterics, and the Colonel and his cousin Darcy were guffawing.
"Excuse me, Sir, but if you would be so kind as to remove yourself from my person? It would be most appreciated." Mary could only say from under the weight of the Earl Liam Harcourt.
"Of course." What else could he say and immediately stood up offering a gentlemanly hand in aid.
"Thank you very much, you were quite heavy." Mary said brushing herself off. She was quite embarrassed and her cheeks were flushed red.
"Oh Mary, are you all right?" Elizabeth asked with concern when she had gotten hold over her hilarity.
"I am perfectly fine, thank you very much." Holding her head up high, she walked back up the stairs and went to her room for a good sulk over her embarrassment.
Kitty and Georgiana quickly curtsied and followed Mary, walking as quickly as proper decorum allowed.
"Mary, are you really all right?" Kitty asked, for no matter how much she teased Mary and Mary teased her, they were sisters.
"I am fine, my bottom and my ego will survive."
"I don't think you are supposed to say the 'b' word in polite society Mary." Georgiana admonished.
"Bottom is a polite word."
"I really don't think it is. But no matter, what we really should discuss is the upcoming Season. We are leaving for London in two weeks!"
"London! But what should we really discuss, Georgiana?"
"Well tactics! Kitty don't you agree?" Asking Kitty whose attention had wandered to the cat on Mary's bed.
"Hmm? Mary don't you know cats suck the life out of you while you sleep?"
"Of course they don't. It is a silly superstition. I think I might have a name for the pretty cat, Georgiana who is that luckless Lord who fell on me?"
"Lord Liam Harcourt, Earl of Weston." Was the prompt answer.
Mary lifted the cat as it tried to squirm away, "I doth pronounce you Weston after that arrogant little man."
"Mary he wasn't little, he was quite tall actually." Kitty protested.
"And quite heavy." The girls laughed.
* * *
Liam was bright red as Darcy and the Colonel led him to the library for another drink.
"Why Liam, who knows what a fabulous dancer you'll be this Season. It seems as if you have lost all your skills that involve, well motion." Darcy said laughingly at his friend
"Oh do be quiet." Liam growled as he glared at the Colonel who was still having quiet hysterics.
This was terrible. He was literally falling for the girl now. And he fell on top of her! Laws of propriety should demand that she marry him now, what a pity that they were surrounded my friends and family who would only laugh it off, mostly at him.
Now what am I doing, thought Liam. What a pity? I do not want to be married. Not yet. Maybe not ever?
And what did the girl mean that he was heavy. Was he, gasp, getting fat?
"Do these pants make me look fat." Liam tried to find a full-length mirror. "Stop laughing Richard (The Colonel is thus named) You, too Darce! It isn't funny!"
* * * "Back to the subject at hand." Georgiana told the avidly listening girls.
Georgiana looked grave. "I may not have had my first Season yet, but I have heard some horror stories that would curl your eyelashes." She frowned for a second; the expression sounded a bit off. Oh well.
The girls settled in comfortably to listen.
"There was this girl, in her first Season in London. Her name was Matilda. And this is the true story of how she was trapped talking with a boor for over two hours at a ball and then was forced to dance twice with him!!!! His name was Elwood. The entire time that they were at the ball, he had somehow forced her into a corner --" there were twin gasps at this "and talked AT her for the entire time about the color red! Red apples, red shoes, red roses, he commented on anything and everything red! The poor girl tried to escape by hinting that she wanted punch. Finally after she asked him straight out, he went to get and came back with her father in tow, and she was ENGAGED!"
"OH NO!!!"
"That poor girl."
"Yes poor girl indeed, and it is very much a true story."
"That's ghastly, simply ghastly!"
"Oh I could tell you more, but I wouldn't want to give you nightmares."
"See why we need a nice tactical strategy? If we find ourselves trapped in an interminable conversation or dancing with those with heavy shoes, we need a way to get out of those situations."
"Good idea Georgiana, what do you suggest?"
Kitty spoke up, "Perhaps if we scratched our noses?"
"I do not think that is very elegant." When Elizabeth opened the door, she saw all were in deep thought.
"What are you girls pondering?"
"Tactics, Elizabeth, tactics." Georgiana responded with the severity and seriousness of a General on the battlefield. Many would argue a Season in London was worse than a real war. At least on the battlefield you knew who your enemies were.
"I think I need a bit of clarification."
"We are afraid that some boors will hunt us down."
"Kitty darling, you do know there are no boars in London, they are safely in the woods."
"Not boars, boors of the human variety."
"I see."
"We need a signal for when we need to be rescued."
"By Jove, I think I've got it!"
"What is it Kitty?"
"We can wave flutter the fan 6 times. No more, no less."
"Fabulous. Now that it is all settled, would you like get dressed for dinner? As we have guests, I hope that you will behave like the lovely young ladies I know you are."
Mary muttered darkly, "I'll behave if that rogue behaves."
"Oh Mary, that was an entirely an accident." Elizabeth said as she exited.