CHAPTER 4: Ultimate Suffering
Chris paced back and forth, circling his sphere of seeing. He would pace for a few moments, and then stop and stare. Finally, he whirled and shouted, "Baranas!"
Baranas appeared with a bow, and asked, "Yes, my master?"
"How much longer?" Chris demanded.
"We anticipate the ceremony will be ready in 36 hours. Please be patient," Baranas mentioned.
Chris stared at Baranas, and then said curtly, "Leave me." As Baranas shimmered out, Chris's eyes were drawn back to the seeing sphere. He almost touched it, and he said aloud, "I suppose one little peek won't...NO!" Chris whirled and pointedly sat on his throne. He pretended to stare anywhere else, but soon enough his eyes were back on the sphere and the question of whether or not he should spy on Cole.
****
"Any luck Leo?" Piper asked when Leo appeared.
Leo shook his head. "Nothing, I had Whitelighters scour the Underworld discreetly. Wherever the Ceremony will be, no one down there is discussing it."
"What about you?" Piper whirled on Paige.
"I've gone over the Book of Shadows with a fine-toothed comb, and I don't see anything on how to destroy a demon with Whitelighter in him, nor anything on how to find the Grimoire."
"Any luck with the scrying?" Piper demanded of Phoebe.
Phoebe shook her head, "No, Chris is shielding himself. I'm getting nothing."
Piper looked back at each of them, as if seeking information in their expressions. Finally, she snapped, "Anybody got an idea?"
"Cole," Paige stated firmly. "He knows more than he's telling. Whatever happened to him in the Underworld, Cole knows something about Chris or the ceremony. I say we go to his penthouse and make him tell us."
"Paige, Cole is good now," Leo said in a pained voice.
"Right...we ask him nicely, and if he doesn't talk, THEN we make him tell us," Paige reiterated.
"Talking with Cole isn't a bad idea. Who should go?" Piper mused.
"Me," Phoebe explained, "I'm the only one Cole MIGHT talk to, the only person he may open up to."
The sisters shared a look, and then Piper and Paige nodded. "I'll orb you to the ground floor," Paige offered and Phoebe smiled. Paige grabbed her arm, and they both orbed out.
****
Cole gazed out from his balcony, a pose he hadn't changed in the last six hours. What was he going to do? He couldn't...no, wouldn't betray Phoebe; he still loved her. But if Chris was his son (and Cole's soul screamed at him for doubting), then how could he betray HIM? Soulmate or son; how was any man to choose?
The ring of the elevator interrupted Cole's musings. Using his new Whitelighter powers, Cole sensed who it was, and fought back a sigh. He should have known this visit was coming.
"Cole..." Phoebe began.
"Come to demand information out of me?" Cole interrupted. He turned to see Phoebe's guilty expression. "Don't worry, I'm not surprised. Who sent you...of course, Paige, right? She always was paranoid."
"That's not the only reason I came," Phoebe snapped.
Cole raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? I highly doubt you came to start up with me again. After all, you've had...two boyfriends isn't it?"
"How..." Phoebe gasped as her mouth dropped open.
Only the hurt in Cole's eyes showed his true feelings as he continued, "I have excellent sources, so to speak."
"They aren't...they weren't...they didn't mean anything..." Phoebe kept starting. Damn it, why was she defending herself? Finally, she ended coldly, "Since you're my EX-husband, I don't see how it's any business of yours."
Cole sighed, "No, I suppose that is true. Then let me tell you, ex to ex, I'm tempted to get a restraining order."
"I don't know why I bothered to come," Phoebe remarked coldly.
She turned to leave, but stopped when she heard someone say softly, "Why?"
"What?" Phoebe asked as she turned back to Cole.
Cole fought to keep tears from his eyes as he said, "I can accept the divorce, and the boyfriends, and the fact that you moved on. All I want to know is why couldn't you let me explain? Why couldn't you listen to me for just a moment, just a minute so I could prove to you how I feel, so I could show you the truth...?"
"What do you mean 'show me the truth'?" Phoebe demanded when Cole trailed off.
"Never mind," Cole said shortly.
"Cole, don't pull back now. Tell me what you wanted to tell me," Phoebe asked.
Cole looked deep into her eyes, and remarked quietly, "Let me show you."
Mind to Mind I forge a link
Into my memories she now will sink
Submerge her
completely in my mind
To show the truth she seeks to find
Phoebe was about to protest, but the world faded away.
****
(The following scenes were taken from the story "Cleansing" by demonman21 with the express permission of demonman21, who is here right now.)
Cole started to walk away, but something stopped him. He looked back at Phoebe and said, "I'm not giving up on us Phoebe...ever." He then shimmered back to the wasteland, and collapsed. He tried to catch his breath. Damn, shifting to the material took too much out of him. If he was going to return to Phoebe, he had to find another way.
Cole thought about it for a few more moments, and then an idea came to him. It would be dangerous, but Phoebe was worth it. She loved him, and he loved her. No matter what, he would return to her so they would be together.
Cole shimmered to a darker plane, one where only demons could enter. A plane Good did not know, and never would. He immediately kneeled, and said, "I beg an audience."
"We know who you are," a voice echoed in the darkness. "Once, you were our greatest warrior. Now, look at you. You have let love corrupt and change you beyond our capabilities. And you are dead. Leave our sight."
"I demand the right of recovery," Cole said softly.
"HOW DARE YOU!" the voices shouted. "That is reserved for demons who are powerful, not weakling humans."
"I am half-human, and I did more evil in a century than most demons do in millennia!" Cole shouted as he surged to his feet. "I have EARNED this, and I demand my right."
The voices were silent for a moment, and then said in a venomous tone, "Very well. You will accept the trials?"
"Bring on your trials," Cole replied, "I will face anything."
"Understand this," the voices mocked. "None have ever passed. And we will not go easy on you. In fact, I guarantee we will throw everything we have at you. You stand no chance. Do you want to back out?"
"No," Cole said solemnly. Phoebe may have given up hope, but he never would. He would return to her, and she would fall into his arms, and all would be forgiven.
"Very well," the voices commented, and a figure appeared. It was demon, one who stood a menacing seven feet. Cole looked at it without fear. The demon snorted and then said, "Follow me. I am to be your guide."
Cole followed behind the demon, and was taken through a portal. He found himself under a rock outcropping. Beyond the rock was desert. A blistering sun hung in the sky. "What am I to do?" Cole asked in confusion.
The demon gestured, and Cole was naked. "Ten seconds after I leave, this outcropping will vanish. Exactly five miles in that direction is the end of this desert," the demon pointed as he spoke. "As soon as you touch the light, you will burst into flames. If you make it, I will be waiting for you."
"How do I know you aren't lying?" Cole asked.
"You don't, but I'm not. It would serve no point, because it doesn't matter. You will not make it. No one ever has," the demon replied, and shimmered out.
Cole looked towards the direction the demon had pointed, and sighed. He had to trust the demon, because this was the only way for him to get back to Phoebe. Cole took a deep breath, and darted out into the sun.
As soon as he was out of the rock cropping, intense physical pain beyond any Cole had known hit him. It was like being vanquished, only it never ended. Cole knew he screamed, but he kept going. He ran as long and as far as he could, but the pain only intensified. Every step caused him to scream anew, and yet to stay still was no better.
Cole barely made it ten minutes before he collapsed from the pain. He knew he would never get to the end, and part of him said he should just give up. As soon as he stopped trying, the pain would end, for Cole would have failed. It would be so easy, so simple to just...
A vision of Phoebe flashed through Cole's mind, and his eyes widened. Beyond the pain he felt, in the depths of his soul, Cole realized he had to get back. Phoebe was waiting for him and they would be together forever. He would go through any amount of torment to return to her, as she would for him. He could never give up.
Cole tried to get up, but he hadn't the strength. He was laid out on his stomach, and the pain was getting worse, if that was possible. So, Cole did the only thing he could. He crawled.
****
Cole had forgotten how long he had been here, and had forgotten how long he had been crawling. He only knew three things...the pain, the torment, and Phoebe. Every second Cole wanted to just stop, to just give up, but Phoebe was always there, always driving him on.
As Cole reached out with his right hand to pull himself forward, his fingers grabbed something solid. Biting back a scream, Cole forced himself to look up. The demon was looking at him with an expression of extreme disbelief. Cole's hand had grabbed the demon's ankle. Cole managed to smile, and said, "I passed. Now get me out of here."
The demon said nothing, but they both shimmered. Cole stopped burning, and he wept as the pain ebbed. Cole knew he should get up, but he just wanted to savor the lack of pain for a moment longer. Just one more moment...
Cole kept expecting the demon to haul him to his feet, but the demon did nothing. Cole savored that lack of pain, and never wanted it to end. He could have stayed here...
'Phoebe...'
Cole came back to himself. He couldn't stay here, he had to get up. Cole slowly put his hands under him. They shook from the effort, and fresh pain coursed over raw wounds. Cole grimaced, but managed to hold long enough to get a foot under his body. Slowly, as each movement cost him greatly, Cole stood up. He staggered slightly, and then looked at the demon with a defiant glare. "Is that all you've got?" Cole managed to gasp and watched as a look of respect crept on the demon's features.
The demon snorted, and the look faded, "Congratulations, you have just passed the first trial...the easy trial. The next one won't be so short, and you will never pass it. Follow me."
Again, Cole staggered after the demon, trying desperately to marshal his strength for whatever came next. The demon led him to a door, and then said, "You may use the powers you gained in the wasteland for the next trial, not that it will help you. Your only goal is to survive." The demon pushed Cole at the door, and the door dissolved. Cole stumbled through, and then the door was gone.
Cole looked around, and surveyed his surrounding. He was in an ancient arena of some sort...one with empty stands and a vast central area. Why was he here? Only instinct saved Cole. He shimmered to the right, just as something slammed down where he was. When Cole came back, he looked back, and could barely restrain his fear.
Looking back at Cole was a dragon. Long ago, dragons had been the most feared beings in the universe. They were strong, intelligent, and fast, and they ate demons for sport. They could tear a demon apart and leave him alive for centuries in its stomach but too destroyed to move as he was slowly digested. However, dragons were supposed to be extinct, which meant this one couldn't be here...
The dragon opened its mouth, and flames shot out of its mouth. Cole shimmered and dove, and barely avoided the flames. When Cole reappeared, he shot an energy ball at the dragon, but it didn't even singe the scales. The dragon surged forward, and its left fore claw slammed into Cole faster than he could move. Cole felt the talons pierce his chest, and felt himself thrown against the wall. He felt bone shatter, and he wondered what part of him survived. Spots danced for several moments, and when they cleared, Cole saw the dragon right in front of him.
Cole tried to shimmer, but the pain was too great. He tried to move, and discovered his legs had been shattered, and he couldn't feel anything from the waist down. The dragon looked at him for a moment, and then began to slowly reach out to pick him up with its mouth.
Cole managed to pull himself partly up using his arm strength, but his legs hung limply down. The dragon approached unheeded, and Cole didn't stand a chance of stopping him. Cole would be in the dragons stomach for centuries, slowly dissolving in a pool of acid.
"Not necessarily," the voices whispered in Cole's ear. "If you give up, we will save you. You must choose quickly, for not even we can save you from a dragon's belly. Simply say you give up, and we will end this. You have already gotten farther than the others, and you will be honored by us forever. Don't let it end like this. Do you really want to die like this?"
'No, I don't,' Cole thought. He felt all his pain and weariness pressing against him, and he said slowly, "Alright, I will..."
'Phoebe...'
Again, a memory of Phoebe surfaced, and Cole remembered what he was fighting for. Phoebe was waiting for him and they would be together forever. All he had to do was get through this, and his pain would end.
Summoning all the strength and anger he had, Cole shouted, "...NEVER GIVE UP!" and pushed himself forward. Cole did not so much launch himself forward and fall forward badly, but it was enough. The dragon's head darted forward, and closed over Cole.
When Cole could see again, he found himself in the original chamber. The demon was no where to be seen, and Cole still couldn't move his legs. "What is going on?" Cole asked.
"You have passed our two trials, and we will grant your request," the voice replied. "There is just one more matter to attend to..." The darkness seemed to coalesce, and a figure approached Cole. Cole couldn't get up to a sitting position, so he just looked. The figure became more distinct, until Cole recognized him...THE SOURCE.
"What the hell is this?" Cole demanded weakly.
"Well, you both died, so we have a problem. We have decided you will both come back, and the Source and you will share a body again," the voices murmured. "We thought you'd be pleased. After all, you will be the Source again."
"No, no..." Cole began. The Source smiled.
"Don't worry, Cole. I'll take good care of everyone once we get back," the Source said with a smirk. The Source reached forward and put his hands on Cole's head. Cole felt the Source entering his body, and felt tears spring to his eyes. He wasn't strong enough to fight the Source, and so his worst fear would come to pass. The Source would return to Earth, and Cole knew this time he would be completely suppressed. Cole would be evil again. 'So be it,' Cole thought. 'I have no strength left, let it end...'
'Phoebe...'
If Cole gave up, he would never be with Phoebe. Worst of all, the Source would kill Phoebe and her sisters simply for revenge. NO, Phoebe was waiting for him, and Cole would return to her. Cole reached deep within, and somehow found the strength to fight. Cole pushed back with everything he had. His strength was fueled by pain, rage...and love. The Source fought back too, and Cole felt his mind being pummeled inside as two personalities fought for control. For what seemed like eons, the two were deadlocked, and then Cole slowly pushed the Source back. 'Not this time, never again,' Cole thought angrily. 'I will NEVER BE evil again. I can be good, Phoebe believes I will be good, and I will not let you use me again.'
The Source tried to resist, but Cole was too strong. Slowly and methodically, Cole pushed the Source into a corner of his mind. He then pushed with everything he had, and the Source ceased to be.
Cole let his head fall back, and felt his mind began to unravel. He had nothing left. No physical, mental, or emotional strength left. A fly could have defeated him. He heard footsteps, and tried to focus, but it was beyond him. He saw a boot by his face, and tried to groan. Oh, no. There was another trial. Cole knew he would fail, there was simply no way. The trials were just too hard.
Hands touched Cole, and gently pulled him to a sitting position. Cole felt strength leave those hands and flow into him. His mind started to come back together, and Cole could focus again. He found his guide in front of him, looking at him with an expression of open admiration and awe.
"Congratulations, you have passed the trials," the demon said solemnly. "You have earned a reward. It was an honor to be your guide."
Cole looked up at the darkness, and asked, "No more trials, I get what I came here for."
"No more trials by us," the voices replied. "Name your reward; you have proven your worth."
"Give me back my body so I can return to Phoebe," Cole said without hesitation.
The voices fell silent for several minutes, and then said slowly, "We shall grant your request, and give you a new body. Be warned, not even we can give you your old body. This one will be different. It will look the same, but it will be stronger, and different. Can you live with that?"
"Do I have a choice?" Cole asked.
"Not if you want your request honored," the voices replied.
"Will I keep all my Wasteland powers?" Cole remarked.
"Yes, and they will grow as if they had been yours from birth," the voices replied.
'Phoebe...'
"Do it," Cole said firmly.
"Very well," the voices said. Cole felt power begin to gather around him, more power than he had ever imagined, when the voices said, "You are a rare and amazing man, Cole Turner. You will always be welcome in the Halls of Evil." The power then washed over him, and Cole felt his body changing. He felt his wounds healing, and more strength than he had ever felt flowed through them. He felt that he could jump to the moon if he wanted to, without effort. Within moments, it was done, and Cole felt...solid. He bowed to the voices, and then shimmered out.
****
As the world came back into focus, Phoebe fought not to vomit. She realized she was crying, and had been crying for several minutes. So much pain...so much agony...Cole had been through all that, for HER. "My God..." Phoebe whispered.
"I don't think He had anything to do with it, or at least I hope not," Cole remarked in a hoarse voice. Phoebe looked up and saw his face was strained, and she realized he had been living those memories just as she had.
"Why tell me this now?" Phoebe finally asked.
Cole sighed, and his mask fell into place again. "I just wanted you to finally know just why I was obsessed with you when I came back from the Wasteland. I don't expect it to justify or excuse my actions; I just wanted you to know."
Phoebe felt her resentment and her hatred towards Cole die away. She had built those walls high and strong, so strong she had believed the lies they projected. But Cole's pain had pierced them more than anything else could, and Phoebe could finally feel what she really felt.
With tears in her eyes, Phoebe looked at Cole and said, "Oh baby, I'm so sorry."
"I don't want your forgiveness..." Cole began.
"But I want you to have it," Phoebe interrupted. "Cole, I became so bitter, so consumed with fear and anger at what had happened between us that when you came back, I no longer recognized what I felt towards you. I let our past blind me to my true feelings, and for that I am truly sorry." She stopped, and then added softly, "I love you Cole."
Those words slammed into Cole like a fist, coursing through his mind with the speed of a bolt of lightning. 'SHE LOVES ME!' Cole felt parts of him he had long since buried spring to life, and a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time came back to him. Hope.
"Phoebe, I..." Cole began, trying desperately not to let this moment slip, to somehow keep it going, because he was absolutely terrified that once this moment passed, things would be back to the way they had been.
Phoebe crossed the distance to him, and pulled him forcefully into a kiss. Her lips, her sweet breath, her tongue lightly caressing his brought back all the memories and the good experiences they had shared, which had somehow been lost to fear and despair.
When the kiss ended, Phoebe leaned into Cole, and Cole did something he had yearned to since he had returned from the Wasteland. As he put his arms around her, she no longer tensed up or tried to pull away. Instead, she leaned in further, and let his love and warmth caress and enclose her. Cole savored that feeling, which he had missed more than he'd miss his right arm.
The world faded away. The penthouse, time, everything disappeared, until it was only Phoebe in his arms. Time was meaningless, and for the first time in a very long time, Cole was happy.
****
With a sickening sound, the sphere shattered against the wall. Chris stood up and shouted in rage. "THAT FOOL! I can't believe he's falling for it, AGAIN! What's wrong with him?"
Chris fired a succession of fireballs, destroying every piece of furniture in the chamber and leaving scorch marks everywhere. Finally he stopped, panting heavily. His rage was blunted, but not dissipated. He wouldn't let this happen, HE WOULDN'T!
****
"YOU IDIOT!" Chris shouted as he appeared in the penthouse. Cole and Phoebe broke apart to deal with him, but not fast enough. Chris gestured, and Phoebe was thrown against the wall. She slid down the wall and collapsed, barely conscious.
"Chris, wait..." Cole began.
"I won't let this bitch fool you again, Father, I won't!" Chris declared. A fireball appeared in his hands as he continued, "It will cost me her rightful punishment, but I WILL NOT allow this to continue."
As Chris fired, Cole fired an energy ball. The two collided just in front of Phoebe, and the force shook the penthouse slightly. "I won't let you kill her!" Cole shouted.
"Why not?" Chris asked in a nearly hysterical tone of voice. "After everything she's done to you, everything she's done to US, how can you stand there and defend her?"
"I love her, son," Cole replied simply.
Power exploded from Chris as he screamed in absolute rage. Furniture exploded, and cracks appeared along the walls. Cole dove, using his own body to shield Phoebe as Chris vented his rage.
Finally, the power stopped, and Chris slumped. Cole looked up and saw him kneeling on the floor, with tears in his eyes. Cole slowly stood up, and Chris looked at him, with tears coming down his cheeks. "Why, Father? You love her, and you'd choose her over your own son! I went through hell for you, and SHE betrayed you. Yet you chose her over me. Why won't you choose me, why don't you love me?"
As Phoebe slowly sat up to stare at Chris in absolute astonishment, Cole said softly, "I do love you son, more than you can possibly imagine. You and your mother are the only beings I've ever loved. But I can't let you kill her, for once you do that, you will become evil. I spent a century doing evil, and I know what it does to a person's soul. I would sooner die a thousand deaths than have you experience a moment of true darkness."
"Cole, what does he mean 'Father'?" Phoebe interjected.
Chris laughed a harsh bitter laugh and replied, "It means I'm the son you didn't want, the son you tried to kill, you bitch. But I survived everything you did to me, and now I'm back to see you get what you deserve."
"Son, that isn't true, not at ALL. I wanted you, I..." Phoebe began.
Chris covered his ears with his hands and shot to his feet. "NO! I won't listen to your lies, I'm done listening to your lies, and I won't!" Chris then vanished.
"SON!" Cole shouted, but it was too late.
"Was he telling the truth? I mean, is he..." Phoebe tried to say, but couldn't get the words out.
Cole looked at her, and stated softly, "He's our son."
Phoebe began to cry, as she remembered the hatred in his voice when he had talked to her. "Cole, what are we going to do? We can't fight our SON! How can we?"
Cole pulled her into his arms, and reassured, "We will save him, and bring him back to us. I swear this to you."
TO BE CONTINUED...