Remnants of the Council: chapter 2
The Rusty Bucket Brawl
A/N: Thanks to Fenny and surprisingly, my chem. teacher, Mrs Chew for that inspirational comment! Think about cows everyone! Btw, readers not from my class, my apologies. This is the fic that was dedicated to Eddie. Now, it still remains dedicated to her. Haha. I can see her sighing in exasperation. lol. Btw, she changed her pen name to Iluvenis Telperien.
Disclaimer: Why do I go through this motion of pretence? I am the heir of J.R.R. Tolkien. I am entitled to write whatever I want to write. So there.
The 'Rusty Bucket' seldom had visiting gentry. On the other hand, the staffs there were used to scruffy, dirty or disreputable patrons turning up. They had three prime examples currently in the taproom.
Eddie scowled. Gabriel glowered. Lucifer glared balefully. Eddie whispered, " No chance of getting a decent drink here."
" Wench! Come-" Lucifer stopped ordering, staring at his companion. " What are you staring at me for, you ridiculous elf?"
" Wench? Wench? Wench?!" Her pitch increased tenfold with each repetition. "Do not insult the feminine race. It's utterly disrespectful!"
" Bah. You're not worth respecting."
" ."
" Quarrelling again. Sigh." Muttered Eddie, earning annoyed looks from his companions.
" Ahem, waiter!" Lucifer called, with an aside, " Happy?"
A halfling in a fashionable (in his opinion only.) costume bowed with servility. " Yes, err, magnificent sirs. Your wish is my command!"
(" Is he a genie?" Gabriel asked Eddie.
" Nope. Too scrawny.")
" I demand that you prepare us a bath right now!"
The waiter looked embarrassed. " Sorry, sir, there is not hot or warm water to be had at this time. It's too late." He started to panic as Lucifer started to swell. " Errrrrr, two tankards on the house for you, sir, to make up for this lack of foresight on our part."
(" How do you share two tankards between three people?" Gabriel whispered to her companions not-so-softly.)
" Two tankards each!" the waiter hastily added, to forestall any swelling.
" Hmph!" The disgruntled wizard thumped into his seat, calling for drinks to quench his unquenchable thirst. " Hey, you two, why aren't you sitting?"
" Why not? I'm, em, admiring the scenery?" Eddie ended his protest with on a doubting note, staring at the dubiously 'admirable' scene around him.
Lucifer raised an eyebrow. " Indeed. most, beautiful." He did not even bat an eye when a jug of dirty ale shattered next to him. " I think you two are beginning to resemble Hayni Nightshade. You two are imitating the way she would stand and blink at you for hours before finally sitting down for five minutes and jumping up after that to repeat the procedure once again."
Eddie and Gabriel stifled their laughter and sat down, with comments like " Lucifer, you are so mean!"
" Certainly. What else do you expect?" His companions could only shake their heads and grumble about a certain wizard's brazen cheek.
" Eddie, Gabe, stop bemoaning the fact that I'm nasty and grumpy and just order your drinks. The poor fellow has been waiting for quite some time already!" His frame shook with cruel amusement.
" What is there to drink?" asked Eddie diffidently, his well-bred upbringing making him a bit apologetic.
" Root's ale, Entdraught, Sam's Bellyshaker, cider." the waiter rattled on, like a badly played Chinese Orchestra Sheng.
" Water? Plain, simple water?" Eddie asked plaintively.
" Only cows drink water." was the waiter's answer. Lucifer and surprisingly, Gabriel swelled and exploded.
" What do you mean cow, you bovine fiend!" Gabriel shrieked. (The reason why she was so angered by this crude remark was because in the days of her youth, her runes tutor had called her a 'misanthropic bovine'. The fact that she vaguely resembled a cow did not help.)
" Learn courtesy before I strike you dead!" Lucifer yelled at the same time, his eyes flaming purple. People started to whisper, making the sign for warding away evil. Lucifer ignored them. The waiter also ignored them. He cowered instead.
" My apologies! What are your orders, O mighty one?"
Not entirely mollified, Lucifer corrected him. " O mighty one is too common. O Highest and most puissant one would be nicer. A tankard of cider, and it better be good!" The waiter paled. " Eddie, I assume you want cider." When Eddie nodded his head resignedly, Lucifer added, " And one more for my friend here." The waiter nodded vigorously to appease this easily explosive man who looked like he was about cheerfully murder the tavern and go back to sleep.
" Is there any freshly pressed orange pulp? My constitution is very delicate." asked Gabriel.
" Sorry madam, we have none in stock. It isn't the season for it."
" Huh? I just drank it a day ago at home!" exclaimed Gabriel.
" Gabe, you live in a special forest, remember? Not all forests have helpful trees that sprout fruit and flowers at your command."
" Alright. Satan, Eddie, could you."
" Not again!" complained Eddie. " Why do I have to conjure oranges? Of all things, why oranges? The colour is sickeningly orange!!!"
" ."
" Bananas are better!"
" Eddie, bananas are non-existent in middle earth."
" Oh fine, oranges. But why me? It's so demeaning. Lucifer, you do it."
" I can't," smirked Lucifer. " My nature is too sour, anything I summon usually ends up sour or bitter. Remember that time Gabe ate my oranges, she had constipation for weeks!"
Eddie growled half-heartedly. Sighing in exasperation, he held out his hands palms up. He intoned solemnly, " Citrus cum accelerando."
Oranges started to drop from the sky, slowly at first than gathering speed (poco a poco) until it became a veritable rain of orange oranges. Amazingly, the oranges did not burst upon colliding with the floor. They merely bounced around. Eddie smiled in satisfaction. The oranges poured down in a rain of orange. After a while, he held out his hands and gestured, signalling for the rain to stop. It didn't. Eddie stopped smiling. Instead, his friends were kind enough to smile for him.
" You forgot to say when it was to stop! You have to say after what bar and so on and so forth." Chortled Lucifer.
" Satan, you are so mean!" admonished Gabriel while trying to keep her smile hidden.
" Ting2 Zhi3!" demanded Eddie of the oranges.
Apparently, the forces at work were not listening. The oranges were still blissfully pouring from the ceiling.
Gabriel looked mildly shocked. " Ritard for four bars than fade away within two bars. Fiat!"
The flow of oranges slowed down drastically, finally stopping in a minute's time.
Lucifer commented, " The timing wasn't very good. The ritard has to be slower. And Eddie, talk about ritards. you are retarded."
" I'm sorry! I forgot that this middle earth doesn't recognised Guo2 yu3! Uncivilised barbaric place!" grumbled Eddie. He continued to mutter about uneducated sprites that were not effectively bilingual while the waiters picked up the oranges to squeeze into pulp for the picky elf with powerful friends. The cider arrived at the same time as the orange juice.
The trio sampled their beverages. Gabriel's drink was pretty good, rather surprisingly. (Eddie, stop scowling. That was not meant to be an insult. Not a serious one anyway.) The two wizards did not find the drink to their liking. However, the alternative drinks appeared less appealing. They couldn't summon better drinks because their mana was used up already.
Thus, they could only stare at the watery mass called cider. Eddie was not happy. Lucifer was not happy. As a matter of fact, the waiter was also not happy; he was staring apprehensively at the frowning Lucifer.
Eddie suggested, " Why don't we re-enact the Ritual of the First Beer? It's of historical value and Gabriel has never heard of it before."
Lucifer smiled, a wicked glint dancing in his eyes. " Why not indeed! We should always strive to educate and learn even when we are old. Learning is a livelong process."
Gabriel looked worried. " When you two want to show me something, chaos and all hell usually breaks loose. I'm not sure if I want to know about this ritualistic First Beer."
Eddie protested, "But Gabriel, this is educational! You should increase your general knowledge. Besides, this is an actual historical event. Besides, you cannot not know what is the First Beer."
Gabriel still looked worried as her companions stood up. Eddie bowed to Lucifer, reciting, " O guest most fair, drink this. This is a homebrewed drink. It is most heavenly, tasting like nectar of the gods. Drink deeply of this First Beer."
Lucifer solemnly replied, " O host most generous, my gratitude. I am sure it will taste surpassingly good, better than the nectar of the gods. I shall drink the First Beer."
They gravely gulped down the First Gulp. Eddie let out the First Scream and his eyes bulged as he twisted his face into the traditionally horrified look. Lucifer made the First Gurgle. His features contorted into the time- honoured splutter. They both clutch their throats, exclaiming in unison, " This ain't no beer! This is bilgewater (sewage water)!"
Lucifer and Eddie both bowed and sat down, ignoring the incredulous looks aimed at them. They smiled and high-fived each other at the sight of Gabriel's helpless figure sprawled on the floor, laughing.
" Hey elf, are you alright?" asked Eddie, concerned.
" No, she's dying of laughter," replied Lucifer flippantly. Gabriel stopped laughing and glared at him before collapsing back into laughter.
" Haha, are you sure this happened before? It's so silly! Haha, you two are forgiven for making me laugh.hey guys, there's a very angry looking man behind you two." Gabriel pointed at the swarthy, grim-looking man behind Eddie.
" What do you want?" Lucifer bluntly asked.
The black skinned stranger replied, " Your life! I am the brewer of the ale, Mr. Jamberry. How dare you insult my ale!"
Eddie looked annoyed. " We didn't insult your ale. we were only reciting a historical event. There is no reason for taking offence. You are quite a good brewer." Eddie tried to pacify the man. Unfortunately, Lucifer was not feeling peaceful.
" Stupid creature, we were not insulting your ale, we were insulting your cider! Can't you tell the difference between ale and cider? No wonder your drinks taste so foul! You are a buffoon, a complete and absolute fool who should mind your own business! Pah! Away, slight man!" Lucifer sneered, staring contemptuously at the enraged brewer.
" Satan! How could you!" exclaimed Gabriel. " I'm sorry sir, he's just being nasty. I'm sure he"
" I AM NOT A FOOL! I CAN SEE THAT HE MEANT EVERY SINGLE WORD THAT HE SAID! DIE!" screamed the enraged and possibly deranged brewer. He grabbed the nearest available item, which was a plate smeared with baked beans and bacon and smashed it down on Lucifer's head.
It broke with little damage to him, except for angering the already irritable wizard.
" I like bacon and baked beans but not smeared onto my hair!!!" roared Lucifer. He swung his fist and connected with the brewer's chin. Jamberry's head snapped back and his body hit the ground, lifeless.
" Damn, I hit too hard. And my knuckles hurt." Complained Lucifer.
Gabriel gasped, " Lucifer! Not again!!! And stop whining about your knuckles, it's your own fault!"
" I don't WHINE!"
Eddie just shook his head and buried it into his hands. " Why me?"
Lucifer grinned insanely and plowed into the rest of the population in the tavern who were getting ready to kill the murderer of a lousy brewer. Lucifer's irises turned flaming purple, filled with blood-lust. He snarled and attacked them, using his hands and feet. He even snapped necks when possible.
Unfortunately, he was rather overwhelmed. He had downed seven people but there were still about twenty people lusting for his blood. Thus necessitated, Eddie and Gabriel waded into the fight.
The style of the three friends was markedly different. Lucifer's was offensive and very aggressive, Eddie was more moderate, hitting only when someone threatened him or his friends. Gabriel was running around trying to get people to stop fight, although that was not very successful.
The trio was about to win the fight. Unfortunately, the ruckus woke up the sleeping patrons upstairs. Even more enraged people poured down the staircase.
" Damn." Groaned all three at the same time.
" Just when I was feeling like I'd like to stop as well," sulked the unrepentant Lucifer.
" Shut up, Satan, you're the one who got us into this mess." snapped Gabriel.
" No wanna fight anymore-ouch! He hit me when I was talking!" shouted an outraged Lucifer. " That's it! I'm bored of fighting ill-trained peasants! Even picking a fight in Mordor would be more fun and rewarding."
He rolled the sleeves of his robe back and frowned. He held out his hands and clenched his fist. The person in front of him crumpled.
Eddie looked at him with suspicion. " That's cheating! This is middle earth! You can't use Sith powers! Hey! If you can do that, cross-game transfer, why can't I eat bananas? Stop cheating!"
Lucifer smiled devilishly, " Shan't stop. Take this, you horrible hogs! You infernal idiots! You devastatingly stupid morons!" At the same time, he was strangling people with the dark force.
" STOP THROWING VOCABULARY AT ME!!!" shouted Gabriel.
" Alright. I finished anyway." He indicated the wrecked taproom and the prone figures draped over the floor. " Let's leave, this is not a very good place to sleep in."
" You have the cheek to comment on this!" huffed Gabriel.
" Whatever, let's leave for Eldarion's coronation. Although we started out early, we might be late. come on!" hurried Lucifer.
Eddie looked surprised as a shadow darkened the frames of the door.
" WU1 GUI1(turtle in mandarin)?!" The three shouted together in surprise.
" Ack, you shouldn't call me that in public," groused Eleanor Mangarion. " We have been summoned to the council meet. And Satan, why is the place a wreck? It must be your fault!"
" No, it's your fault! Everything is your fault." Replied Lucifer.
" Urgh, whatever. Let's go."
The two wizards and the two elves turned to leave the tavern.
Outsides, a huge silver fox with two silver tails was waiting. It nipped at Eleanor's outstretched fingers and growled. " Stop being grumpy, I left you for only one minute!" The fox snapped at her fingers grouchily. " I swear by Feanor that you are as grumpy as Lucifer! Lucifer! What did you do to my precious Kitsune? Now, now, Kitsune. I promise I wouldn't leave you behind again, ok?"
As a reply, the fox turned around and flicked its tails at Eleanor.
" You are being unreasonable!" complained Eleanor.
The fox spoke at last, " No, everything is your fault."
" !!!" gasped Eleanor in shock. " SATAN! You taught my kitsune to be unreasonable! Like you!"
Gabriel frowned, " Can we go off now? You two can quarrel later, at your own free time! It's not good to keep the others wait!!!" Eddie nodded vigorously from the floor on which he was napping.
Lucifer shrugged. " Alright, since Wu Gui is going to lose this argument anyway!" He ignored the indignant gasp from Eleanor. " Eddie, call your Hiei over."
Eddie stood up. " Heie, get over here this instance! No more napping!" he spoke to the air with a firm tone.
Lucifer also spoke to the air. " Malfoy, I want you over RIGHT NOW! Or else, all three of you are going to be painted bright purple for a week."
Gabriel protested, " What about me? I have no steed?!"
Lucifer smiled nastily, " Do you want a ride on my dragon?"
Gabriel blanched. " NO! Eddie or Wu Gui, can I hitch a ride with you? I get queasy because-"
" Of your delicate constitution. I know, I know. Sigh. Climb on." sighed a resigned Eddie.
Just as he finished speaking, a huge black panther pounced on him. " Hiei! Good boy! Now, Gabe is going to ride on you as well, so don't be so active, alright?" He frowned at the mischievous look on Hiei's face. He climbed on and helped Gabriel up.
While Eddie was conversing with his steed, a black dragon of gigantic proportions was converging upon them. It flew above them and waiting. It hissed gently, in a conciliatory manner. Lucifer was not pleased. " Stupid Malfoy! You don't want to listen when I called for you, is it? Disobedient little brat! Aggravating thing!" He complained as he apparated up to the dragon's back. He prodded it's head disapprovingly. Lucifer looked down at his companions. " Can we go now?"
They nodded a confirmative. They set off, rushing for the council meet. If one looked out of the window, one would see a black blur, a silver blur and a huge black shadow traveling very quickly.
They reached the council meeting field. They were the only ones there. Rolling their eyes, they tethered their steeds and went to tend to their mounts. After grooming the animals, they turned around to discover something. Or rather, someone.
" Boooya!" shouted Eddie.
" Hi," replied the giant-who-guards-the-halls-of-the-Istari. " This way please."
" Since when has the meeting place changed?" asked Eleanor in puzzlement.
" I wouldn't know," replied Lucifer as they walked behind the GWGTHOTI. They rounded the bend and saw-
"Wah!" everyone exclaimed.
I'm stopping here. Because I need inspiration. And shoot me, I know I'm being evil, leaving u all in a cliffie. Hahaha. More proof that PMH is evil? Lol. Cya!
The Rusty Bucket Brawl
A/N: Thanks to Fenny and surprisingly, my chem. teacher, Mrs Chew for that inspirational comment! Think about cows everyone! Btw, readers not from my class, my apologies. This is the fic that was dedicated to Eddie. Now, it still remains dedicated to her. Haha. I can see her sighing in exasperation. lol. Btw, she changed her pen name to Iluvenis Telperien.
Disclaimer: Why do I go through this motion of pretence? I am the heir of J.R.R. Tolkien. I am entitled to write whatever I want to write. So there.
The 'Rusty Bucket' seldom had visiting gentry. On the other hand, the staffs there were used to scruffy, dirty or disreputable patrons turning up. They had three prime examples currently in the taproom.
Eddie scowled. Gabriel glowered. Lucifer glared balefully. Eddie whispered, " No chance of getting a decent drink here."
" Wench! Come-" Lucifer stopped ordering, staring at his companion. " What are you staring at me for, you ridiculous elf?"
" Wench? Wench? Wench?!" Her pitch increased tenfold with each repetition. "Do not insult the feminine race. It's utterly disrespectful!"
" Bah. You're not worth respecting."
" ."
" Quarrelling again. Sigh." Muttered Eddie, earning annoyed looks from his companions.
" Ahem, waiter!" Lucifer called, with an aside, " Happy?"
A halfling in a fashionable (in his opinion only.) costume bowed with servility. " Yes, err, magnificent sirs. Your wish is my command!"
(" Is he a genie?" Gabriel asked Eddie.
" Nope. Too scrawny.")
" I demand that you prepare us a bath right now!"
The waiter looked embarrassed. " Sorry, sir, there is not hot or warm water to be had at this time. It's too late." He started to panic as Lucifer started to swell. " Errrrrr, two tankards on the house for you, sir, to make up for this lack of foresight on our part."
(" How do you share two tankards between three people?" Gabriel whispered to her companions not-so-softly.)
" Two tankards each!" the waiter hastily added, to forestall any swelling.
" Hmph!" The disgruntled wizard thumped into his seat, calling for drinks to quench his unquenchable thirst. " Hey, you two, why aren't you sitting?"
" Why not? I'm, em, admiring the scenery?" Eddie ended his protest with on a doubting note, staring at the dubiously 'admirable' scene around him.
Lucifer raised an eyebrow. " Indeed. most, beautiful." He did not even bat an eye when a jug of dirty ale shattered next to him. " I think you two are beginning to resemble Hayni Nightshade. You two are imitating the way she would stand and blink at you for hours before finally sitting down for five minutes and jumping up after that to repeat the procedure once again."
Eddie and Gabriel stifled their laughter and sat down, with comments like " Lucifer, you are so mean!"
" Certainly. What else do you expect?" His companions could only shake their heads and grumble about a certain wizard's brazen cheek.
" Eddie, Gabe, stop bemoaning the fact that I'm nasty and grumpy and just order your drinks. The poor fellow has been waiting for quite some time already!" His frame shook with cruel amusement.
" What is there to drink?" asked Eddie diffidently, his well-bred upbringing making him a bit apologetic.
" Root's ale, Entdraught, Sam's Bellyshaker, cider." the waiter rattled on, like a badly played Chinese Orchestra Sheng.
" Water? Plain, simple water?" Eddie asked plaintively.
" Only cows drink water." was the waiter's answer. Lucifer and surprisingly, Gabriel swelled and exploded.
" What do you mean cow, you bovine fiend!" Gabriel shrieked. (The reason why she was so angered by this crude remark was because in the days of her youth, her runes tutor had called her a 'misanthropic bovine'. The fact that she vaguely resembled a cow did not help.)
" Learn courtesy before I strike you dead!" Lucifer yelled at the same time, his eyes flaming purple. People started to whisper, making the sign for warding away evil. Lucifer ignored them. The waiter also ignored them. He cowered instead.
" My apologies! What are your orders, O mighty one?"
Not entirely mollified, Lucifer corrected him. " O mighty one is too common. O Highest and most puissant one would be nicer. A tankard of cider, and it better be good!" The waiter paled. " Eddie, I assume you want cider." When Eddie nodded his head resignedly, Lucifer added, " And one more for my friend here." The waiter nodded vigorously to appease this easily explosive man who looked like he was about cheerfully murder the tavern and go back to sleep.
" Is there any freshly pressed orange pulp? My constitution is very delicate." asked Gabriel.
" Sorry madam, we have none in stock. It isn't the season for it."
" Huh? I just drank it a day ago at home!" exclaimed Gabriel.
" Gabe, you live in a special forest, remember? Not all forests have helpful trees that sprout fruit and flowers at your command."
" Alright. Satan, Eddie, could you."
" Not again!" complained Eddie. " Why do I have to conjure oranges? Of all things, why oranges? The colour is sickeningly orange!!!"
" ."
" Bananas are better!"
" Eddie, bananas are non-existent in middle earth."
" Oh fine, oranges. But why me? It's so demeaning. Lucifer, you do it."
" I can't," smirked Lucifer. " My nature is too sour, anything I summon usually ends up sour or bitter. Remember that time Gabe ate my oranges, she had constipation for weeks!"
Eddie growled half-heartedly. Sighing in exasperation, he held out his hands palms up. He intoned solemnly, " Citrus cum accelerando."
Oranges started to drop from the sky, slowly at first than gathering speed (poco a poco) until it became a veritable rain of orange oranges. Amazingly, the oranges did not burst upon colliding with the floor. They merely bounced around. Eddie smiled in satisfaction. The oranges poured down in a rain of orange. After a while, he held out his hands and gestured, signalling for the rain to stop. It didn't. Eddie stopped smiling. Instead, his friends were kind enough to smile for him.
" You forgot to say when it was to stop! You have to say after what bar and so on and so forth." Chortled Lucifer.
" Satan, you are so mean!" admonished Gabriel while trying to keep her smile hidden.
" Ting2 Zhi3!" demanded Eddie of the oranges.
Apparently, the forces at work were not listening. The oranges were still blissfully pouring from the ceiling.
Gabriel looked mildly shocked. " Ritard for four bars than fade away within two bars. Fiat!"
The flow of oranges slowed down drastically, finally stopping in a minute's time.
Lucifer commented, " The timing wasn't very good. The ritard has to be slower. And Eddie, talk about ritards. you are retarded."
" I'm sorry! I forgot that this middle earth doesn't recognised Guo2 yu3! Uncivilised barbaric place!" grumbled Eddie. He continued to mutter about uneducated sprites that were not effectively bilingual while the waiters picked up the oranges to squeeze into pulp for the picky elf with powerful friends. The cider arrived at the same time as the orange juice.
The trio sampled their beverages. Gabriel's drink was pretty good, rather surprisingly. (Eddie, stop scowling. That was not meant to be an insult. Not a serious one anyway.) The two wizards did not find the drink to their liking. However, the alternative drinks appeared less appealing. They couldn't summon better drinks because their mana was used up already.
Thus, they could only stare at the watery mass called cider. Eddie was not happy. Lucifer was not happy. As a matter of fact, the waiter was also not happy; he was staring apprehensively at the frowning Lucifer.
Eddie suggested, " Why don't we re-enact the Ritual of the First Beer? It's of historical value and Gabriel has never heard of it before."
Lucifer smiled, a wicked glint dancing in his eyes. " Why not indeed! We should always strive to educate and learn even when we are old. Learning is a livelong process."
Gabriel looked worried. " When you two want to show me something, chaos and all hell usually breaks loose. I'm not sure if I want to know about this ritualistic First Beer."
Eddie protested, "But Gabriel, this is educational! You should increase your general knowledge. Besides, this is an actual historical event. Besides, you cannot not know what is the First Beer."
Gabriel still looked worried as her companions stood up. Eddie bowed to Lucifer, reciting, " O guest most fair, drink this. This is a homebrewed drink. It is most heavenly, tasting like nectar of the gods. Drink deeply of this First Beer."
Lucifer solemnly replied, " O host most generous, my gratitude. I am sure it will taste surpassingly good, better than the nectar of the gods. I shall drink the First Beer."
They gravely gulped down the First Gulp. Eddie let out the First Scream and his eyes bulged as he twisted his face into the traditionally horrified look. Lucifer made the First Gurgle. His features contorted into the time- honoured splutter. They both clutch their throats, exclaiming in unison, " This ain't no beer! This is bilgewater (sewage water)!"
Lucifer and Eddie both bowed and sat down, ignoring the incredulous looks aimed at them. They smiled and high-fived each other at the sight of Gabriel's helpless figure sprawled on the floor, laughing.
" Hey elf, are you alright?" asked Eddie, concerned.
" No, she's dying of laughter," replied Lucifer flippantly. Gabriel stopped laughing and glared at him before collapsing back into laughter.
" Haha, are you sure this happened before? It's so silly! Haha, you two are forgiven for making me laugh.hey guys, there's a very angry looking man behind you two." Gabriel pointed at the swarthy, grim-looking man behind Eddie.
" What do you want?" Lucifer bluntly asked.
The black skinned stranger replied, " Your life! I am the brewer of the ale, Mr. Jamberry. How dare you insult my ale!"
Eddie looked annoyed. " We didn't insult your ale. we were only reciting a historical event. There is no reason for taking offence. You are quite a good brewer." Eddie tried to pacify the man. Unfortunately, Lucifer was not feeling peaceful.
" Stupid creature, we were not insulting your ale, we were insulting your cider! Can't you tell the difference between ale and cider? No wonder your drinks taste so foul! You are a buffoon, a complete and absolute fool who should mind your own business! Pah! Away, slight man!" Lucifer sneered, staring contemptuously at the enraged brewer.
" Satan! How could you!" exclaimed Gabriel. " I'm sorry sir, he's just being nasty. I'm sure he"
" I AM NOT A FOOL! I CAN SEE THAT HE MEANT EVERY SINGLE WORD THAT HE SAID! DIE!" screamed the enraged and possibly deranged brewer. He grabbed the nearest available item, which was a plate smeared with baked beans and bacon and smashed it down on Lucifer's head.
It broke with little damage to him, except for angering the already irritable wizard.
" I like bacon and baked beans but not smeared onto my hair!!!" roared Lucifer. He swung his fist and connected with the brewer's chin. Jamberry's head snapped back and his body hit the ground, lifeless.
" Damn, I hit too hard. And my knuckles hurt." Complained Lucifer.
Gabriel gasped, " Lucifer! Not again!!! And stop whining about your knuckles, it's your own fault!"
" I don't WHINE!"
Eddie just shook his head and buried it into his hands. " Why me?"
Lucifer grinned insanely and plowed into the rest of the population in the tavern who were getting ready to kill the murderer of a lousy brewer. Lucifer's irises turned flaming purple, filled with blood-lust. He snarled and attacked them, using his hands and feet. He even snapped necks when possible.
Unfortunately, he was rather overwhelmed. He had downed seven people but there were still about twenty people lusting for his blood. Thus necessitated, Eddie and Gabriel waded into the fight.
The style of the three friends was markedly different. Lucifer's was offensive and very aggressive, Eddie was more moderate, hitting only when someone threatened him or his friends. Gabriel was running around trying to get people to stop fight, although that was not very successful.
The trio was about to win the fight. Unfortunately, the ruckus woke up the sleeping patrons upstairs. Even more enraged people poured down the staircase.
" Damn." Groaned all three at the same time.
" Just when I was feeling like I'd like to stop as well," sulked the unrepentant Lucifer.
" Shut up, Satan, you're the one who got us into this mess." snapped Gabriel.
" No wanna fight anymore-ouch! He hit me when I was talking!" shouted an outraged Lucifer. " That's it! I'm bored of fighting ill-trained peasants! Even picking a fight in Mordor would be more fun and rewarding."
He rolled the sleeves of his robe back and frowned. He held out his hands and clenched his fist. The person in front of him crumpled.
Eddie looked at him with suspicion. " That's cheating! This is middle earth! You can't use Sith powers! Hey! If you can do that, cross-game transfer, why can't I eat bananas? Stop cheating!"
Lucifer smiled devilishly, " Shan't stop. Take this, you horrible hogs! You infernal idiots! You devastatingly stupid morons!" At the same time, he was strangling people with the dark force.
" STOP THROWING VOCABULARY AT ME!!!" shouted Gabriel.
" Alright. I finished anyway." He indicated the wrecked taproom and the prone figures draped over the floor. " Let's leave, this is not a very good place to sleep in."
" You have the cheek to comment on this!" huffed Gabriel.
" Whatever, let's leave for Eldarion's coronation. Although we started out early, we might be late. come on!" hurried Lucifer.
Eddie looked surprised as a shadow darkened the frames of the door.
" WU1 GUI1(turtle in mandarin)?!" The three shouted together in surprise.
" Ack, you shouldn't call me that in public," groused Eleanor Mangarion. " We have been summoned to the council meet. And Satan, why is the place a wreck? It must be your fault!"
" No, it's your fault! Everything is your fault." Replied Lucifer.
" Urgh, whatever. Let's go."
The two wizards and the two elves turned to leave the tavern.
Outsides, a huge silver fox with two silver tails was waiting. It nipped at Eleanor's outstretched fingers and growled. " Stop being grumpy, I left you for only one minute!" The fox snapped at her fingers grouchily. " I swear by Feanor that you are as grumpy as Lucifer! Lucifer! What did you do to my precious Kitsune? Now, now, Kitsune. I promise I wouldn't leave you behind again, ok?"
As a reply, the fox turned around and flicked its tails at Eleanor.
" You are being unreasonable!" complained Eleanor.
The fox spoke at last, " No, everything is your fault."
" !!!" gasped Eleanor in shock. " SATAN! You taught my kitsune to be unreasonable! Like you!"
Gabriel frowned, " Can we go off now? You two can quarrel later, at your own free time! It's not good to keep the others wait!!!" Eddie nodded vigorously from the floor on which he was napping.
Lucifer shrugged. " Alright, since Wu Gui is going to lose this argument anyway!" He ignored the indignant gasp from Eleanor. " Eddie, call your Hiei over."
Eddie stood up. " Heie, get over here this instance! No more napping!" he spoke to the air with a firm tone.
Lucifer also spoke to the air. " Malfoy, I want you over RIGHT NOW! Or else, all three of you are going to be painted bright purple for a week."
Gabriel protested, " What about me? I have no steed?!"
Lucifer smiled nastily, " Do you want a ride on my dragon?"
Gabriel blanched. " NO! Eddie or Wu Gui, can I hitch a ride with you? I get queasy because-"
" Of your delicate constitution. I know, I know. Sigh. Climb on." sighed a resigned Eddie.
Just as he finished speaking, a huge black panther pounced on him. " Hiei! Good boy! Now, Gabe is going to ride on you as well, so don't be so active, alright?" He frowned at the mischievous look on Hiei's face. He climbed on and helped Gabriel up.
While Eddie was conversing with his steed, a black dragon of gigantic proportions was converging upon them. It flew above them and waiting. It hissed gently, in a conciliatory manner. Lucifer was not pleased. " Stupid Malfoy! You don't want to listen when I called for you, is it? Disobedient little brat! Aggravating thing!" He complained as he apparated up to the dragon's back. He prodded it's head disapprovingly. Lucifer looked down at his companions. " Can we go now?"
They nodded a confirmative. They set off, rushing for the council meet. If one looked out of the window, one would see a black blur, a silver blur and a huge black shadow traveling very quickly.
They reached the council meeting field. They were the only ones there. Rolling their eyes, they tethered their steeds and went to tend to their mounts. After grooming the animals, they turned around to discover something. Or rather, someone.
" Boooya!" shouted Eddie.
" Hi," replied the giant-who-guards-the-halls-of-the-Istari. " This way please."
" Since when has the meeting place changed?" asked Eleanor in puzzlement.
" I wouldn't know," replied Lucifer as they walked behind the GWGTHOTI. They rounded the bend and saw-
"Wah!" everyone exclaimed.
I'm stopping here. Because I need inspiration. And shoot me, I know I'm being evil, leaving u all in a cliffie. Hahaha. More proof that PMH is evil? Lol. Cya!