A/N: Okay, this is my feeble attempt at creating something, yet again, from
unoriginal characters. And major kudos to 'She's a star', who created
Auriga Sinistra, in 'Lamentations of a Starry eyed twit', and also various
other spin offs. Regrettably, I'm now fouling up your characters.
Journal of a Self Obsessed, Resentful Slytherin
12.30 pm, Bedroom 22nd of July 2006
Mother just informed me that I'm going to Hogwarts. Told her firmly, no, I wasn't, and Dad can go jump if he intends to force me to endure Potions with him as a teacher. The fact that I merely *look* like him is enough to make me want to drink one of his foul poisons. Then she fed me some idiotic spiel about 'obsidian oily silk'. Highly insulting. My hair is *not* greasy!
12.35 pm
Well, maybe a little.
12.37 pm
Fine. It is. But if you had a choice between wild, frizzy hair like your mother, or slightly greasy hair like your father, which would *you* choose?
12.40pm
Damn.
2.00pm Diagon Alley 29th August
They confiscated my journal. Evil parents. It's not my fault I rely on writing my 'innermost thoughts' (my mother) or, 'Pointless, mindless drivel, all Auriga's fault' (my father). And they took my journal away.
My father is a bastard. Yet another thing I inherit from my mother. A lack of talent where name-calling occurs. Damn!
And I lost the battle, in case you're wondering. I'm going to Hogwarts.
Dad insisted in Malkin's on buying a green school scarf. Silly really. Does he think I'd get Sorted into his house?
No way in this galaxy. No, if that flea ridden hat even suggests it I'll..
2.05 pm
Just realised I can't do anything to it.
Damn!
3.18 pm
Am in love. Completely, utterly.
Was in Flourish and Blotts, picking up my textbooks. Dad and Mother were doing something highly disturbing, and most likely to end in years of intense therapy over by the Shakespeare, which I am trying to repress, and saw *him*.
He's gorgeous!
Reminding myself I am merely 11, and cannot thus fall deeply, headlong into true love.Damn it, why can't I? Suddenly, Mother's predilection for du Maurier trashy romances seems to have a grounding in truth.
Mind you, I have a suspicion that Severino (shudder) is supposedly based on Dad.
Which is evil, and disgusting!
3.23pm
Have realised never fully ruminated on gorgeousness of said boy.
Who is. Very.
Like I said, I saw him in Flourish and Blotts. He has really lovely eyes. (He was scowling at the assistant). Blue-y silver-y colour. If I was Mother's ridiculous friend, or had read any of those daft novels, I might describe it as 'incandescent lumosity springing from the silvered pools of darkened indigo.'
Or something like that.
And he has black hair. Which is not greasy, so he is neither a potions fanatic (Dad's excuse for greasy hair) or an overanxious, stressed out, dreamy teenager to-be.
Which, you know, is a good thing.
3.26 pm
Am definitely not going to be Sorted into Ravenclaw. In fact, Hufflepuff is my best bet.
Because he was buying *textbooks*. And the same textbooks as me! He's going to Hogwarts!
3.30pm
Wonder if I can change my surname.
Or, my full name.
Astra is bad enough, but Rosaline?
Trust parents with their stupid Shakespeare fetish.
And Snape tacked on the end is horrific.
3.33 pm
Maybe extremely good looking people won't notice that my father is the creepy old Potions master. Or that we share the same name.
3.34 pm
Who am I trying to kid? Of course they'll know. He makes it his business to scare anyone.
4.56 pm
Tried to discuss possibility of changing my name with parents.
Mother, (predictably) laughed. Only hope that when I inform her I'm serious, she won't have a coffee mug to hand.
I can't believe my insane parents found that *attractive*. It seems my father has finally grown a brain since that event, and learnt that displays of temper from my mother are moments to be treated with extreme caution, and missiles should not be allowed near her.
Father (also predictably) Declared that the Snape family name was a fine one, and no Slytherin could deserve better.
Longed to inform him of my plan to join Moaning Myrtle if I *ever* get put in Slytherin.
4.57 pm
Have realised futility of name change. Also realised that if anyone is at any point in my school life attracted to Astra Rosaline Snape, my father will hex them.
4.58 pm
I hate my parents.
1st September 12.15 pm
On Hogwarts express.
Unbelievably bored.
Managed to persuade *doting* parents (heavy use of sarcasm) to let me sit in any part of the train that is not with them, hopefully, people won't realise I'm related to either *before* we arrive, and I'll have a chance to make friends.
Hah.
Highly unlikely.
12.18 pm
Have Celestina Warbeck 'The comeback!" lyrics stuck in my head.
Annoying.
Particularly as both parents decided they would sing it at the same moment.
It's floating down the carriage.
Is he supposed to do that while attempting to scare people? I suppose it works better than the twitchshuddersneer.
1.35 pm
Aha! Someone at last, to alleviate the boredom!
A girl. Lots of red hair. Freckles.
Name?
Elizabeth Weasley. Her dad and mum work in Egypt. She lives there some of the time.
That would explain the tan.
I hate tanned people. They look like cocktail sausages, basted in sauce, and fried in the sunlight.
1.37 pm
Okay, fine, it's because I've inherited 'I look like a vampire, or alternately I spend all my time inhabiting the dungeons' white skin.
Have I mentioned I hate my father?
2.00 pm
Elizabeth is nice. She says she's a little scared of Hogwarts, because she has a Weasley reputation to uphold. Lots of pranks, she has to be a top student as well, according to her uncle. Reputation to uphold? Family history?
Hah.
Who has the teaching parents?
2.03 pm
I told her who Mother and Dad were. She's gone very silent.
2.04 pm
Crap, is this going to happen every time?
2.15 pm
Turns out she was train sick. Told me to call her Lizzie. I told her to call me Astra. She laughed.
Seems my brand of unfunny humour works on some people.
Weird.
3.30 pm
arrrrgh! I hate sibyl Trelawny and all relatives of aforementioned giant caterpillar!
Ariadne, her niece, walked into the train compartment. Evil little cow. Got into childish, futile, name calling bout.
Realised I'm better than most, which is slightly cheering.
However, she got in with a 'self obsessing, resentful potential Slytherin'.
I'm not a Slytherin!
3.32 pm
Yes, only just realised the insult was supposed to be the obsessing, resentful part. Well I can't help it! I *am* resentful. You try having Severus Simon Snape, and Auriga Sinistra Snape as parents!
A/N:
So, was it terrible? I admit, I'm having fun with this. All older characters, (including Snape, and Sinistra) belong to J.K Rowling. The past history, and depictions are from 'Lamentations..' by she's a star.
Please don't kill me.
Or sue.
I have very little money.
Journal of a Self Obsessed, Resentful Slytherin
12.30 pm, Bedroom 22nd of July 2006
Mother just informed me that I'm going to Hogwarts. Told her firmly, no, I wasn't, and Dad can go jump if he intends to force me to endure Potions with him as a teacher. The fact that I merely *look* like him is enough to make me want to drink one of his foul poisons. Then she fed me some idiotic spiel about 'obsidian oily silk'. Highly insulting. My hair is *not* greasy!
12.35 pm
Well, maybe a little.
12.37 pm
Fine. It is. But if you had a choice between wild, frizzy hair like your mother, or slightly greasy hair like your father, which would *you* choose?
12.40pm
Damn.
2.00pm Diagon Alley 29th August
They confiscated my journal. Evil parents. It's not my fault I rely on writing my 'innermost thoughts' (my mother) or, 'Pointless, mindless drivel, all Auriga's fault' (my father). And they took my journal away.
My father is a bastard. Yet another thing I inherit from my mother. A lack of talent where name-calling occurs. Damn!
And I lost the battle, in case you're wondering. I'm going to Hogwarts.
Dad insisted in Malkin's on buying a green school scarf. Silly really. Does he think I'd get Sorted into his house?
No way in this galaxy. No, if that flea ridden hat even suggests it I'll..
2.05 pm
Just realised I can't do anything to it.
Damn!
3.18 pm
Am in love. Completely, utterly.
Was in Flourish and Blotts, picking up my textbooks. Dad and Mother were doing something highly disturbing, and most likely to end in years of intense therapy over by the Shakespeare, which I am trying to repress, and saw *him*.
He's gorgeous!
Reminding myself I am merely 11, and cannot thus fall deeply, headlong into true love.Damn it, why can't I? Suddenly, Mother's predilection for du Maurier trashy romances seems to have a grounding in truth.
Mind you, I have a suspicion that Severino (shudder) is supposedly based on Dad.
Which is evil, and disgusting!
3.23pm
Have realised never fully ruminated on gorgeousness of said boy.
Who is. Very.
Like I said, I saw him in Flourish and Blotts. He has really lovely eyes. (He was scowling at the assistant). Blue-y silver-y colour. If I was Mother's ridiculous friend, or had read any of those daft novels, I might describe it as 'incandescent lumosity springing from the silvered pools of darkened indigo.'
Or something like that.
And he has black hair. Which is not greasy, so he is neither a potions fanatic (Dad's excuse for greasy hair) or an overanxious, stressed out, dreamy teenager to-be.
Which, you know, is a good thing.
3.26 pm
Am definitely not going to be Sorted into Ravenclaw. In fact, Hufflepuff is my best bet.
Because he was buying *textbooks*. And the same textbooks as me! He's going to Hogwarts!
3.30pm
Wonder if I can change my surname.
Or, my full name.
Astra is bad enough, but Rosaline?
Trust parents with their stupid Shakespeare fetish.
And Snape tacked on the end is horrific.
3.33 pm
Maybe extremely good looking people won't notice that my father is the creepy old Potions master. Or that we share the same name.
3.34 pm
Who am I trying to kid? Of course they'll know. He makes it his business to scare anyone.
4.56 pm
Tried to discuss possibility of changing my name with parents.
Mother, (predictably) laughed. Only hope that when I inform her I'm serious, she won't have a coffee mug to hand.
I can't believe my insane parents found that *attractive*. It seems my father has finally grown a brain since that event, and learnt that displays of temper from my mother are moments to be treated with extreme caution, and missiles should not be allowed near her.
Father (also predictably) Declared that the Snape family name was a fine one, and no Slytherin could deserve better.
Longed to inform him of my plan to join Moaning Myrtle if I *ever* get put in Slytherin.
4.57 pm
Have realised futility of name change. Also realised that if anyone is at any point in my school life attracted to Astra Rosaline Snape, my father will hex them.
4.58 pm
I hate my parents.
1st September 12.15 pm
On Hogwarts express.
Unbelievably bored.
Managed to persuade *doting* parents (heavy use of sarcasm) to let me sit in any part of the train that is not with them, hopefully, people won't realise I'm related to either *before* we arrive, and I'll have a chance to make friends.
Hah.
Highly unlikely.
12.18 pm
Have Celestina Warbeck 'The comeback!" lyrics stuck in my head.
Annoying.
Particularly as both parents decided they would sing it at the same moment.
It's floating down the carriage.
Is he supposed to do that while attempting to scare people? I suppose it works better than the twitchshuddersneer.
1.35 pm
Aha! Someone at last, to alleviate the boredom!
A girl. Lots of red hair. Freckles.
Name?
Elizabeth Weasley. Her dad and mum work in Egypt. She lives there some of the time.
That would explain the tan.
I hate tanned people. They look like cocktail sausages, basted in sauce, and fried in the sunlight.
1.37 pm
Okay, fine, it's because I've inherited 'I look like a vampire, or alternately I spend all my time inhabiting the dungeons' white skin.
Have I mentioned I hate my father?
2.00 pm
Elizabeth is nice. She says she's a little scared of Hogwarts, because she has a Weasley reputation to uphold. Lots of pranks, she has to be a top student as well, according to her uncle. Reputation to uphold? Family history?
Hah.
Who has the teaching parents?
2.03 pm
I told her who Mother and Dad were. She's gone very silent.
2.04 pm
Crap, is this going to happen every time?
2.15 pm
Turns out she was train sick. Told me to call her Lizzie. I told her to call me Astra. She laughed.
Seems my brand of unfunny humour works on some people.
Weird.
3.30 pm
arrrrgh! I hate sibyl Trelawny and all relatives of aforementioned giant caterpillar!
Ariadne, her niece, walked into the train compartment. Evil little cow. Got into childish, futile, name calling bout.
Realised I'm better than most, which is slightly cheering.
However, she got in with a 'self obsessing, resentful potential Slytherin'.
I'm not a Slytherin!
3.32 pm
Yes, only just realised the insult was supposed to be the obsessing, resentful part. Well I can't help it! I *am* resentful. You try having Severus Simon Snape, and Auriga Sinistra Snape as parents!
A/N:
So, was it terrible? I admit, I'm having fun with this. All older characters, (including Snape, and Sinistra) belong to J.K Rowling. The past history, and depictions are from 'Lamentations..' by she's a star.
Please don't kill me.
Or sue.
I have very little money.