Okay, this is so sweet I almost feel sick when reading it myself, but blame the fact that this is one of the first fics I ever wrote. This won't happen again, promise. Not at this level at least ^^;;
Chapter 7, No way out of talking
Inside of the room Rydia was moving in between the door and Edge to stop him from doing anything hasty. She didn't like the situation but she wasn't going to see a door exploding outwards. One had manners, after all.
"Look, Edge," she said, "I don't think that Cecil would…"
"Oh yeah?" he interrupted, "then who would have planned this stupid joke? Don't tell me you weren't fooled to come here."
Rydia frowned.
"Well, I was told that you wanted to see me," she gave in, "but if it was Cecil, why would he do such a thing?"
"Haven't he spoken with you?" Edge asked, "or Rosa?"
"No, about what?" Rydia wondered, frowning.
Edge opened his mouth, but closed it again. What could he say?
Good grief, was she only wearing a evening gown and a morning coat over that? Her usual clothing was much more enticing, but there was something even…
For heaven's sake, pull yourself together!
Edge tried to assemble his thoughts and come up with something to say.
"How can Cecil do this?" he finally grumbled and went over to an armchair.
He heavily sat down. Rydia took the armchair which stood beside his, still frowning.
"What are you talking about?" she asked.
Edge figured that he had no escape.
'Damn you, Cecil…'
"He is… they are…"
Edge looked at Rydia, and the dam of troubles broke as he watched her questioning, worried eyes. He didn't want to talk about it, but he could no longer keep the pain from flooding over.
"Are you going back to the espers?" he asked, much harsher than he'd ever planned.
His rough tone startled her, and Edge immediately regretted opening his mouth.
"The espers?" Rydia said after a moment, "I haven't decided yet…"
"Look, I didn't mean to be that harsh," Edge hurriedly said, feeling like an idiot, "it's just that… Cecil spoke with me and… we understand that you feel like home there, but… we feel that we would all miss you terribly."
He felt even more like an idiot. And a rude one, too. Rydia watched him carefully, understandably slightly confused about his reaction.
"That's… nice of you," she finally said.
They watched each other.
'Don't be such a fool!' something inside of Edge screamed, 'don't you see that she'll be lost forever if you don't use this single opportunity? Will you live with that loss for the rest of your life?'
He bit his lower lip. Rydia had never seen him do something like that. He had never shown worries in such a manner. But something was really tormenting him, a blind could see that. And she didn't like to see him troubled. If Edge was troubled, then she wanted to help him. What kind of friend would she be if she didn't.
'Friiieeend…!' that irritating part of her moaned.
She ignored it.
"Hey Edge," she warily said, "what's bothering you?"
He looked at her, and his eyes were filled with a twister of troubled emotions wrestling each other. Suddenly his fingers touched her hand, which laid on the armchair's elbow rest. Both his and Rydia's eyes went to the hands.
"Look, I…"
Edge fell silent, and she looked up to met his eyes. He looked away and then tried again.
"I was wondering if… if you don't feel like you have a home anywhere in this world, won't you… come to Eblan?"
Rydia stared at him, suddenly feeling as if she could fly.
"To… to Eblan?" she finally managed to say, with a growing smile.
Edge still didn't dare to look at her.
"Yeah, I… I…"
He forced himself to turn his head.
"I'm sure you really could help out and… and I'd really be glad to have you around."
Rydia's hand closed around his fingers, and she was smiling warmly, straight into his soul. Edge felt his own lips move into a warm smile. His heart felt as if it could grow wings and flutter away.
"You would?" she softly said.
"I really would," Edge warmly nodded.
Rydia looked at him, smiling. But then a cold, rough thought sent a dagger through her heart, and the smile on her lips faded. Edge was alarmed immediately.
"Rydia, what's the matter?" he asked.
'If I stay with him,' Rydia thought, 'what if I become so fond of him that it'll hurt even more when he… he… damn, I don't want him to get married!'
But she couldn't say such a thing, of course.
When she didn't answer, Edge rose from his armchair and stood in front of her, bowing down so that their faces were at the same level.
"Rydia, whatever it is, you can tell me," he gravely said, "we're friends, aren't we?"
She looked into those deep, grey-blue eyes and saw his worries for her. It hurt to see, she didn't want to make him even more troubled…
"Yes, we are…"
Gods, those eyes… she couldn't hide anything for him, he deserved the truth…
"We're friends, Edge," she said, hoping that she didn't shock him to much with what she had to say, "and I love that! But when you get married, what will happen to our friendship then?"
He just stared at her. His mind had turned completely blank, but Rydia couldn't know that. She stood up and rushed past him, trying to hide the pain in her eyes.
"I'd only be a problem in the end, and I'd have to leave for your sake," she muttered, "it's better that I don't even come…"
"Now just a darn minute!"
Edge walked around her and resolutely faced Rydia.
"You'd never ever be a problem to me," he said, a bit hoarse, "you're the only one who can understand me like only you can do!"
He figured that hadn't made sense at all, but at least the message was clear.
They stared at each other.
"Edge," Rydia finally bitterly said, "you know what I mean. You need a queen, you told me that yourself. Eblan needs that. And we don't have the kind of friendship that would be acce…"
"To the hell with Eblan and all that!" Edge said and put his hands on her shoulders, "nothing of it would mean anything at all to me if I couldn't hear you snapping and teasing once in a while, Rydia!"
She stared into his eyes, jaw dropped. Edge felt just as shocked, surprised over that his mind had decided that it couldn't carry the unspoken troubles anymore.
'He'll get married,' some devilish part of her shouted, 'you'll be in their way!'
'Shut up!' the hidden part growled.
'He'll have an Eblanian woman!' the shouting inside of her snapped, 'he's born to marry a noble woman of his own people! What do you think you are trying to make up here?'
She looked away.
"Edge, I… can't do that to you."
It was rubbish, but it was the best she could come up with.
But Edge was an intelligent man, no matter what names she had surpassed him during their playful argues. His hand came to her cheek, carefully forcing her to turn her head at him.
There was pain in his eyes now. Like back then, in the Sealed cave. Of loss, and fear of more loss. Those eyes which were like a thousand tiny crystals, that should be shining of joy and kind mischief… like a boy, but yet controlled like a grown man. Those eyes that should glisten with laughter and thoughtful mocking as he tried to think of a quick answer. Those eyes that belonged to Edge, and Edge only.
Edge.
You didn't die. You kept your promise.
If only I dared to love you.
You didn't leave me. I don't want to leave you either.
How could I ever think of doing that to you?
'Finally…' the hidden part of her mind mumbled.
"Rydia," Edge said, and his voice a bit strangely thick, "why do you turn away? What are you afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid," she whispered, hardly able to speak at all.
Then suddenly she could hardly breathe, because his arms were around her waist, pressing her smaller body against his. He didn't utter a single word, just held her tightly for a moment that didn't last longer than a heartbeat. Then he let go as sudden as he had caught her in the embrace, and turned away. Like she just had done. Like he had done in the throne-room an eternity ago.
"I'm sorry, Rydia," he bitterly muttered, "I don't know what came over me."
Her heart was about to break through her chest, and it definitely wasn't only because of the surprise. That feeling of being that close to Edge, to even feel his heart beat, his warm arms… she couldn't explain what she felt. Only that she wanted to be back there again, that near him.
Seeing his back hurt her eyes.
'Is that so…?' she slowly thought, almost shivering, 'I do… love him?'
The hidden part of her only smiled warmly.
But he was… he wasn't going to… he wouldn't…
Oh, cut that silly hesitating out, you idiotic girl!
'She'll hate me for that,' Edge bitterly thought, 'too hasty again. I blew it. Again and again and again… but holding her… she looked so vulnerable…'
One thing that Rydia certainly wasn't was delicate. That was one of the many things that put her aside from other women, that made her so special. So seeing her unsure like that had made him panic slightly for a second too long. He had driven her to that, he had known it. So he had the responsibility for hurting her, and he could not bear that. If he only could have reacted differently.
He'd give anything to embrace her again, to feel her chest against his, her warmth. But not like that, not attacking! Idiot!
A hand on his shoulder. Edge was afraid, the feeling could not carry another name. But he forced himself to face Rydia.
She was frowning, yes, but not angry.
"Why would…"
Her voiced trailed off; she didn't know what to ask or to tell him.
He wanted to explain, to tell her that he wished that she would want him to hold her carefully. But he couldn't, afraid to break even more.
"I don't know…" he said, of all stupid things, "I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself. I don't know what…"
His voice faded away, and he just looked at her with that strangling sadness in his eyes.
Rydia moved around him. She took the few steps needed for standing before him and then carefully, slowly, raised her arms and placed them around his neck. Edge stared down at her, the slightly confused, searching sparkle in her eyes reflected in his own gaze.
"Like… like this?" Rydia mumbled, warily.
"I suppose…" Edge whispered, stuttering of the surprise.
His arms moved by themselves, one placing itself around her waist, the other around her shoulders. He hardly knew how to handle this situation, and she definitely didn't either. They looked at each other again, unsure what to do about it. Edge was well aware what he wanted to say, the words were burning inside of his mind. But he still wasn't sure if he dared. He was weary of the sparkling in Rydia's eyes, she looked away and then at him again over and over. It wasn't hard to tell that she wasn't certain about what she was doing there.
I love you, Rydia.
Would those words make her even more unconfident, even scare her? But he wanted to speak them out so dearly…
'Why does he have to marry someone else?' Rydia thought as she looked away again, 'can't he just… have… me?'
It was as if a rock tumbled out of her as she finally managed to put that secret, subconscious wish into words.
It hurt, though. He could never…
She turned her head away, not only the eyes. Couldn't bear to look at him.
"Rydia," he said in such a soft voice that it tickled her ears but only made her want to move away to escape the unreachable, "what are you afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid," she muttered once more.
She tried to let go of him, but then his grip only tightened. She looked up at him.
Don't move away, his eyes pleaded, please don't do that to me.
"You are afraid," he said, "is it me?"
"No…"
She bit her lower lip, but couldn't hold back anymore.
"I dread the woman you will love, Edge! Don't you see that? The woman who will bring you away from me!"
She stared at him, waiting for him to snort and say that she was out of her mind. But…
Why was he smiling like that? And what was his hands doing at the back of her head?
"My compassion, sweetcheeks," he whispered, "because then you fear yourself, and that is one weird situation."
"Wh-what?" she stuttered.
'He loves… me?!'
"You're the one I love, Rydia, nobody else," Edge said in a low, soft voice, "even though I must be forced to admit it."
'I said it? I did? Good gods, I said it!' he thought, nervously awaiting her reaction.
Rydia just stared at him for a moment. Then she more or less jumped, securing her grip around his neck and almost desperately pressing her lips against his. For half a second he was stunned by the surprise, then his arms around her tightened their grip, carrying her.
Edge was a veteran flirter, of course. He had kissed women before. But they hadn't meant this much to him, nothing like what Rydia meant. She hadn't ever kissed anyone before him, but her first try was so wonderful that he didn't even notice.
"Edge, you moron…" Rydia whispered against his lips, "you scared me so terribly! With the poison, the fever, the mere idea of you finding a queen most of all!"
"I'm sorry about that," he mumbled, "but you scared me too. The thought of you disappearing into the world of Espers… don't do that, Rydia, don't leave me alone again."
"I won't, I won't, I promise…"
He had longed to firmly hold her for so long that it was very hard for him to keep from trying to get even closer to Rydia. He wanted her so terribly, but this was a bit too early yet… she had just got to know his feeling and given her answers, and he knew well that being too hasty could destroy what they both just had found. No, he wouldn't be so foolish that he risked that.
Rydia's feet touched the floor again. They just held each other tightly in warm silence for a moment.
Edge's breath tickled her hair, she could feel his strong heart beat against her chest. This was where she wanted to be, and nowhere else. As she looked up his lips covered hers again, as she had wished that they would.
"I love you, Edge," she mumbled, and felt his lips move into a soft smile.
"And you feared I'd find a queen in Eblan?" he whispered, "when the one I wanted was right here before me all along, and I just didn't dare to reach out for you? Yes, you're right, I am a moron."
They removed their lips from each other and just smiled warmly. Edge suddenly chuckled.
"Wait," he said, "I can do better than that."
He released her and took a step backwards, sitting down on one knee.
"Will you marry me, fair Rydia?"
She almost made him fall as she threw her arms around him.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'," he smiled and kissed her again.
"You bet it was!" she said, even though it was hard to hear what she said as her lips were occupied against his mouth.
There was a clinking sound, followed by the moaning of an opening door.
"We've found the key, Your Majesty and miss Rydia," a voice softly said.
"Go and feed it to an imp, Cecil," Edge said without turning around.
"As you wish, my friend…"
"And check your bedding carefully before you go to sleep from now on. I'm only warning you because you're such a good friend."
Cecil chuckled and closed the door.
"You wouldn't put something in his bed for real, would you?" Rydia smiled.
"One can never know when it comes to me," Edge grinned, "especially not after this stunt."
Rydia laughed. She touched his nose with the tip of her finger.
"Now, now, don't be so hard on him. It was for a good purpose."
"Making me almost crack down of nervous tension?" Edge grimaced.
Then he laughed.
"Well, I guess I could spare him if you ask me really nicely," he said and winked with one eye.
As he bent down a little and kissed her neck Rydia felt a warm stream of desire begin its flow inside of her, still only a small pouring, but for every single touch of Edge's lips the surge increased. She shivered a little and tightened her grip of him.
How she had longed for him, not daring to even understand what it really was about! Asura had known; everybody had known… but Rydia just hadn't been able to face it.
Edge, this teasing, hot-headed ninja that she loved so much…
No, wait. There's a time for everything, and this wasn't the right moment. Not yet. That flame inside of her would have to cease and rest for a little while longer.
Rydia freed an arm from her own grip of Edge's neck and moved in a finger against his lips. He moved his head backwards and nodded with a smile.
"I know," he softly said, "time turns gold into diamond."
"Interesting saying," Rydia smiled, "is it Eblanian?"
"No, it's Edganian," he explained, making both of them laugh.
They stood up. Edge kept an arm over Rydia's shoulders as they walked to the door; her arm rested around his waist.
"Good night, sweetcheeks," Edge smiled and kissed the tip of her nose, playful.
It was hard enough not to kiss her mouth again and go even further; he knew Rydia would have as hard as him fighting back the same emotions that only wished to break free inside of him. But all that had its own, special moment, and he had to keep his emotions down a little longer no matter how hard it felt as Rydia looked up at him with those warm, green eyes…
He suddenly realized it would take at least two weeks to get Eblan ready for a royal wedding, and could hardly stop a groan from leaving his chest. He would have to start as soon as possible, and kick some of his advisors in the back if they didn't work fast enough. They were actually good at what they did, but they were also professional arguers and could start a fight with their companions before one had time to blink.
Well, on the other hand the whole country had held its breath waiting for him to pick his queen. Maybe the banners were sewed, the cakes baked, the speeches written and the confetti ready to be thrown already… he'd know soon enough.
"Sweet dreams, love," Rydia softly smiled.
"That won't be any problem at all, if I only can get to sleep," he grinned.
She opened the door and stepped out, giving him one last smile for the evening before she was gone behind the wood.
Edge smiled broadly as he heard her voice again.
"Cecil, I should really fry you, but I won't."
"You're welcome," the king of Baron grinned, "well, finally I can go back to Rosa. Oh, right."
The door opened again.
"Hey Edge, I've given orders that an airship shall be ready for departure to Eblan tomorrow after lunch," Cecil said with a broad smile, "you'll both have time to pack. Do you want a ticket?"
"Why you slippery…" Edge grinned.
"I figured you wanted to get home as soon as possible."
Cecil winked with one eye and closed the door.
Guh, I hate that "No, it's Edganian" but I can't bring myself to erase it… :P