CH3 Ro walked into her office, the light on her console was blinking, telling her someone was waiting, Admiral Nechayav, she knew. She didn't want to speak to her, the last time Ro saw the woman she had betrayed her. She didn't want to face that now; but she knew she had to so she took a deep breath, telling herself to get over it and hit the button to accept the call. "Ro Lauren of Deep Space Nine speaking." She said, the Admirals face appeared on the view screen. "You had something on the Orion Syndicate." "Yes. I'm transmitting it to you now." She said and took out the pad. "Ro, I just wanted you to know..." Nechvac said. "I often regret decisions I've made but rarely show it, for the most part it does little good. When I sent you to infiltrate the Marquis I thought your history with the Cardassians would be convincing cover. I never stopped to think about why, I didn't think about you and it was my error for putting you in that position as much as the error was yours. After what you'd been through; it wasn't fair for me to assume or expect that of you. You deserved some compassion and respect; even if you had came through for us I should have considered what it would do to you emotionally and I didn't. That was my mistake not yours. Working in matters concerning the Cardassians undercover is a dangerous, difficult and painful game. I can't concern myself with how every one under me deals with it, I'll leave that to the counselors, but as a leader I should know when someone is too close their limit and take them out for a while. If I fail at this as I did in your case the responsibility is mine. I've seen people betray everything they believe in, commit suicide, get so bitter and twisted they can't tell the difference between right and wrong. The lucky ones end up in a mental hospital, the unlucky end up dead, but I need my best people on the job; it no good to have a new operative for every mission. The hardest part of this job is knowing how far someone can be pushed without permanently damaging them. I didn't pay enough attention, and I messed up with you. I'm willing to see if I can help get you a commission in Starfleet if you want that. In fact you may do well for your self in command school. You may be surprised to hear this, but Starfleet was ready to put you in command of Deep Space Nine once you returned from you uncover mission with the Marquis." "I don't believe it. Last I saw you, you were ready to have me killed. Why the change of heart?" "Do you think I wanted to? It's not as if you were giving me much of choice. As I said it's a dangerous difficult and painful game. After you defected, I asked myself why; you had always been loyal despite some incidents in your past, why; what was your reason? When I looked at your file in greater detail and spoke to some people what realized was that you had every reason for it." "Who did you speak to?" "Dr. Lenanna, Commander Yeltivits, Dr. Vetins, Counselor Trio, and a few others. The conclusion I came too is that you make a hell of an officer, and I don't think your mind was you own while you were working with the Marquis. Starfleet wants you, and they're willing to accommodate you, as long they know for sure that they have your loyalty. I'm serious about sending you to command school; I think it's where you belong, you're independent, smart, and calm under pressure, you have impressive tactical skills, and you're determined and strong willed. I think that we all may have learned a lesson about your limits. None of us are perfect and after some of the things you've been through I'd have been surprised if you acted any differently; yet you have suspired many with your strength. The only thing you really lack is emotional stability and that you'll gain in time with professional help. I think all you really need to be ready for it is a good counselor." "Download complete." The computer reported. "In a funny way you remind me of a woman I knew when I was much younger. Then I had no choice but to play their game. She was the opposite of you, and probably saved my life as well as my sanity. It was my blessing to know her." "I'm glad someone was there for you." She said, wishing she had that touch, that she could do her job with the kind of compassion that let her feel others pain. She couldn't; she knew she'd go insane if she tried. She had to keep an emotional distance to do her job well, and in the end protect others. For that was what she really wanted; to prevent death and suffering of innocent civilians, even if that meant more suffering by herself or others in Starfleet, like Ro Lauren. A part of her envied and respected those people who had the kind compassion to truly let the pains of others burden their hearts and the courage not to let this debilitate them. Those rare few who had compassion to guide them and courage to follow it, for that and that alone was wisdom in her eyes. She only wished she had the gift. No one was perfect, they all had limits. What it took to achieve wisdom was beyond hers; similar to the way infiltrating the Marquis was beyond Ro's. "Do you honestly think they'll let me in?" "If I pull some stings for you? Who does over half the admissions committee answer to?" "Good point." "On another note, how's Kira? I heard she was hurt? What happened?" "You know she was evacuating Eropa Nova." "The plant where the gateway was dumping theta radiation, yes." "She went through the gateway with Taran'atar to attempt to solve the problem at the source, and they managed to get some type of shielding in place. The runabout didn't return and both of them were critically injured but returned to Deep Space Nine. We found Taran'atar in an escape pod with sever knife wounds and according to the ops crew the Colonel just appeared with severe radiation poisoning and an arthrizen overdose, only seconds away from death. The doctor managed to revive her, but she's still rather ill; he warned her to keep off her feet for a day or so, but she didn't listen." "Will she be OK?" "I'll bet she'll be fine in about a week, sooner if she'll let herself rest. The doctor said he recommended she took about three days off, but I highly doubt she will. So I'm betting on a week." "Ro, I have to go but Jun-Luc wants to talk to you. He told me to ask you to call him." Looking through what had just been transmitted to her she said, "This is some excellent work. How did you get this exactly?" "It's in my report. Tell him I will contact him when I have the time." * * * "Commander Dax, President Silvero is on subspace." "Put her on." Silvoro's face appeared on the view screen. She was an older woman with gray hair and soft face, Dax could tell a deal of wisdom had come to her with age. From what she had heard she had insisted she was the last person to get off the planet. That was both honorable of her, something both rare and valuable in a politician. "President, I am commander Dax, currently in charge of the ops. I can get you commander Vagan if necessary." "No thank you. I would like to speak to Colonel Kira, but first do you have a causality report?" "Yes. One person who tried to administer atherinze to them self overdosed and died, although some of their friends thought they may have been suicidal. There were nearly a million cases of radiation poisoning. It was very wise of you to evacuate the children and those who where for any other reason more sensitive to radiation first, that probably saved hundreds of thousands of lives. For the most part the radiation poisoning was easily treated and everyone is fine now. The worst causality was Kira Nerys." "What? Kira? Was she killed?" "We weren't sure for a while but she's alive. She had severe theta radiation poisoning. It appears she was even exposed to lethal levels of the radiation for a very short time before she stepped thorough a gateway bringing her directly here. She's still extremely ill." "We never meant to drag her into this so she would suffer more than the rest of us. We will never forget the sacrifice she made for us. We are forever in her debt." "You didn't drag her into this, she is obligated to help whomever is need. As station commander here that is her job." "Never the less it was a very noble thing she did." * * * Kira awoke with a start, relived to find herself on Deep Space Nine out of the nightmare she had been pulled into in her sleep. She felt worse than she had before she had gone to sleep; the nightmare had almost completely drained her. She was sick to her stomach, her head hurt but not as sharply as it had before, and she felt nauseous feverish dizzy and weak. "Kira, you're awake?" her doctor asked in a soft voice, she nodded slightly. "How are you doing?" She told him how she felt, then asked, "Did you increase the brightness of the lights while I was out?" "I don't think it's the lights. I'm going to give you some medication that will make you more comfortable, OK?" She nodded again, and he gave her the medication. "Can you tell if I have a fever?" she asked. He pulled out his tricorder to check. "That's odd. I don't know why but you do." Then, picking up a hypospray he said "Here this will make you more comfortable. I need to run a complete bioscan on you to make sure that's not the result of some type of virus that wouldn't have been affected by the anti- pathogen I gave you earlier; maybe you picked something up on the planet." He gave her a hypospray and she immediately felt better, expect that she was still exhausted. "I haven't felt like this since I was thirteen and had the ballakan fever. And the fact that I had never had proper nutrition and none of us had decent medical supplies didn't do any good." "Nerys why isn't that in your medical file?" "I didn't put every time I caught a cold in the file." "That's not a cold. How long were you sick?" "It was at lest three months but I didn't get my strength back for over a year. If it hadn't been for Istani I would have died; Shaker and the others left me with her until I was well enough care for myself again." "It's amazing you survived without proper medical care, from what I know during the occupation ninety-five percent of those who became ill with the Ballakan fever died, fifty before." "It was all Istani, she saved my life. She was so caring and gentle; she always knew exactly what I needed, and she held my hand every step of the way. I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for her." "The woman who was killed?" "Yes." "I never knew how much she meant to you. Get some rest, you need it to recover." * * * "Gul Macet, I all ready told you that Colonel Kira is ill and can not speak to you now." Commander Vaughn stated. "If you would like to give me a message for her, or if there is any other way I can be of assistance to you." "What I need only she can help me with." "What is it exactly? Considering she is incapacitated and I am second in command of this station I am now in command. I may be of help you." "What I need only she can do for me. And I have a feeling that if you do it with out her permission you won't be second in command for much longer." "Unless you're asking for asylum with the Bajoran Government or something equally ridicules then I don't think it will be that bad." "Commander that is basically what I need. You see some people in my family see me as a disgrace and are willing to use any means necessary to get me killed." "You're quite right then. You need to talk to her." Then he muttered under his breath, "This will be interesting." "Is their any way I could get through to her?" "Not now." "What happened to her anyway?" "Severe theta radiation poisoning." "How bad?" "It's surprising she survived." "What happened to the Jem'Hadar?" "He survived as well." "What a shame." Macet said. Taran'atar happened to be standing at ops during the conversation be he was not willing to let the trader Gul talk about him in such a fashion. "Now I know why your family wants you dead. If I was in you family I'd kill you too." "Taran'atar; Stop it!" Commander Vaughn yelled. "Gul Macet your comment was uncalled for as well. I demand you both apologize at once." For a moment neither reacted; they just stared at each other with hateful loathing wishing there was no view screen between them so they could deal with there anger in the most primitive way possible. "If you two don't apologize I'll have you Macet evicted; and Taran'atar you'll be thrown in the brig." "I regret my unnecessary and impolite comment." Gul Macet said. "Sorry, Commander." Taran'atar muttered. "I don't want you two fighting or arguing again. I don't want you disrupting the smooth running of this station with your personal problems. I don't care about whether or not you like each other; you will act like civilized people." "Yes sir." Taran'atar answered. "Commander," Ro said with urgency in her voice. "There is a Dominion war ship coming through the wormhole." "Damn, I thought they closed their borders." "The Cardassian ship is raising shields and powering weapons." Ro reported. "Do the same here." Vaughn ordered. "End communication with the Cardassian ship and hail the Dominion." "Commander they are hailing us." "On Screen." Odo's face appeared on the view screen in front of a Jem- Hader ship he seemed to be commanding. Dax was the first to speak; she was the highest ranking person on the bridge who knew Odo. "Odo?" "Yes it's me, I have a lot of business on station, but first can I speak to Kira?" The third request for her in the last three hours Vaughan thought, how does she do it? Vaughn answered that "She's not available right now." Taran'atar couldn't believe that this human was treating a living God with the same respect he treated the Cardassian who had betrayed the Dominion. "Is she alright?" Dax answered. "She recovering from sever radiation poisoning. If it's really important I could get her for you." "If she's injured she needs to rest. I won't bother her. May I have permission to beam abroad the station?" "You may." Vaughn answered. Then he turned to Dax, "Do you know something important that I don't know or are you just injecting yourself in a diplomatic conversation between a foreign ambassador and the commanding officer without a good reason? Frankly I'm not convinced it's wise to share news of Kira's condition..." "I know that Kira and Odo are in love, and he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. And he knows that she would have to be in very bad shape to let someone talk her into taking some time off. That's why I explained to him that she was injured and recovering, he would have been worried to death about her if I hadn't."