A/N: I thought this plot would leave you dying on the floor so that's why I
came up w/ it. Nothing concrete and I know the spelling bites so get over
yourselves with the silly flames. I don't own any characters in HP, they
all belong to JK Rowling.
Snape sat in his office after all of the students had left for summer vacations. He smiled at himself for living through one more miserable year of dealing with pompous silly little brats. He'd wring their little necks if he had to see any of them during vacation. Especially that Potter and his gang. Snape loathed that boy with passion. He loathed him almost as much as he loathed the little piece of tattered parchment. He looked around his office and closed the door. Sitting back in his seat, he picked up his wand from the desk and spoke to the parchment.
"Show yourself, silly parchment!" Snape said a bit loud.
The parchment did nothing and so he repeated himself. Only this time, he shook the paper violently as drips of saliva escaped the corners of his mouth.
Curly green writing appeared on the paper with a note from a familiar person
Moony writes: Is that you, you old git? Still trying to access the Marauder's map? Well, you can just forget about it. I wouldn't let a slime ball like you ever read the secrets of this map, so pooh on you.
With this, more writing appeared.
Padfoot writes: I agree with Moony. Any old scrooge who had nothing better to do than try to access a silly harmless map should be deemed a slime ball. Only, I'd like to add that the silly old git smells like old Limburger cheese with the stench of a Slytherine's quidditch robes.
"I do not smell! I demand that you show Professor Snape this map immediately.
Prongs writes: Just because you don't smell your own wretched stench doesn't mean everybody else is exempted from sniffing your foul odor.
Wormtail suggests that Professor Snape take a long bath. With Lysol and Clorox bleach, however. Did I neglect to mention his mother is so fat she tripped over Wal-Mart, flew over K-Mart and landed on Target?
Moony writes: No dear Wormtail. I believe the correct joke is that his mother is so stupid, she tried to drown his pet goldfish with a drowning spell.
"My mother is not fat or dumb! I'll have you know that your mothers are so ugly-"
Prongs writes that Mr. Snape has no good comebacks. He'd also like to tell Professor Snape that his training bra is gettinh much to small. Snape looked down at his robe and fury rose in his eyes "I do not wear training bras-anymore."
At this, Snape put the parchment down and went to grab something to eat.
A/N: I had to end the chapter somewhere! Deal w the stupid ending. Chapter two will be up soon. R&R plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Snape sat in his office after all of the students had left for summer vacations. He smiled at himself for living through one more miserable year of dealing with pompous silly little brats. He'd wring their little necks if he had to see any of them during vacation. Especially that Potter and his gang. Snape loathed that boy with passion. He loathed him almost as much as he loathed the little piece of tattered parchment. He looked around his office and closed the door. Sitting back in his seat, he picked up his wand from the desk and spoke to the parchment.
"Show yourself, silly parchment!" Snape said a bit loud.
The parchment did nothing and so he repeated himself. Only this time, he shook the paper violently as drips of saliva escaped the corners of his mouth.
Curly green writing appeared on the paper with a note from a familiar person
Moony writes: Is that you, you old git? Still trying to access the Marauder's map? Well, you can just forget about it. I wouldn't let a slime ball like you ever read the secrets of this map, so pooh on you.
With this, more writing appeared.
Padfoot writes: I agree with Moony. Any old scrooge who had nothing better to do than try to access a silly harmless map should be deemed a slime ball. Only, I'd like to add that the silly old git smells like old Limburger cheese with the stench of a Slytherine's quidditch robes.
"I do not smell! I demand that you show Professor Snape this map immediately.
Prongs writes: Just because you don't smell your own wretched stench doesn't mean everybody else is exempted from sniffing your foul odor.
Wormtail suggests that Professor Snape take a long bath. With Lysol and Clorox bleach, however. Did I neglect to mention his mother is so fat she tripped over Wal-Mart, flew over K-Mart and landed on Target?
Moony writes: No dear Wormtail. I believe the correct joke is that his mother is so stupid, she tried to drown his pet goldfish with a drowning spell.
"My mother is not fat or dumb! I'll have you know that your mothers are so ugly-"
Prongs writes that Mr. Snape has no good comebacks. He'd also like to tell Professor Snape that his training bra is gettinh much to small. Snape looked down at his robe and fury rose in his eyes "I do not wear training bras-anymore."
At this, Snape put the parchment down and went to grab something to eat.
A/N: I had to end the chapter somewhere! Deal w the stupid ending. Chapter two will be up soon. R&R plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!