Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, own Ranma ½.
Ooooh! Who got married to who? Not what you think!
Winning
~*~*~*~*~
"I won." I think as I clutch the crumpled photo in my hand. The words echo in my mind. I cling to them, my life preserver in this sea of despair. "I won. Not Shampoo, not Kodachi, and not Akane. ME."
Slowly, I smooth out the picture in my hand. It doesn't matter, I already know what's there. A silent tear drops beside the dancing couple. My tear? I know that couple. At least, I know who the people are. My husband and I are eternally captured that way, dancing close at our wedding. Somehow, the photo suits us, I think. It shows the story of our lives. My face is dreamy as I rest my head on his shoulder, eyes happily closed. His face though, his face is turned away. I can barely see the woman outlined in the shadows, but I know who she is. He is looking at her. I crumple the photo again.
I won, not her! He married me!
But… why? For love, or for honor?
I can still remember the night he proposed. I expected it, really. I mean, after the arbitrator declared me to be the rightful fiancée, I knew it was only a matter of time. Still, it was a shock when he got down on one knee in the middle of the park and asked me to marry him. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Thinking back, after he put the ring on my finger, I don't think he looked me in the eyes again that night. At the time I dismissed it as his natural shyness. But… was I the one he was thinking of?
The marriage was held a week later. Ranma was stunning in his white tuxedo, as I knew I was in my wedding gown. The decorations, the food, the music, in my mind everything was perfect. Now though… Now, as I look back through the wedding photos, I think I'm finally beginning to see the truth behind their whole façade. Ranma's eyes, they're so… so dark. He's smiling but…
I won. Not her! She can't take this from me!
I reach a hand up to brush the hair away from my face. It has been three years since the wedding. Surely, surely if he didn't love me he'd have left by now. Satisfied with this answer, I rise from the floor and brush off my knees.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Through the hiss of my cooking food, I hear the door open. Putting on my best smile, I turn to face my returning husband. "Hello dear!" I call out cheerfully, "How are you?"
He doesn't look at me and he mumbles as he hangs up his coat. "I'm fine." He turns around and absentmindedly gives me a peck on the forehead. "I just went to see a friend."
My eyes narrow a bit as I hear this. I know where he's been. It's kind of funny actually. Somewhere up there, I'm sure the gods are laughing at me. I used to be my husband's best friend. I was the only one he ever really confided in, but when we got married that all changed. Before, they couldn't hold a decent conversation without trying to kill each other. Now…
Our marriage, as ironic as it is, has driven them closer. She has taken my place as his best friend and confidante. What does that make me?
I won, god dammit!
I move towards him and wrap my arms around him, holding on as tight as I can. He doesn't move or respond, but then, I hadn't expected him to. I tilted my face towards his, trying to sneak in a quick peck, when suddenly I recoil in horror. I push him away from me and double over gasping.
He puts a hand on my shoulder, "Honey, what's the matter?"
I almost take joy in the worry in his voice, but my recent realization quickly suppresses that emotion. "You…" I barely gasp out. "You smell like her!"
"Ukyou, it's not what you think!" He puts his hands on my shoulders, tries to stand me up.
I push him away. "God damn you Ranma! You don't know what I think!" I turn away from him. I will not let him see me cry. I wait until I can control my voice before turning to face him again. "Get out Ranma. Just get out."
He stares at me in shock. "Honey, I…"
"Save it. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Without waiting for a reply, I run up the stairs and collapse on my bed, our bed, in tears. A few minutes later, I hear the door shut as Ranma leaves.
I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling as my tears dry. I know what Ranma thinks, but I don't care. He can suffer the guilt for a little while. Of course he didn't cheat on me with her, I know that. His honor would never allow it. But…
He loves her, he always has. I see that clearly now. I think… I think I've known it for some time.
The truth is…
The truth is…
The truth is I didn't win.
There never even was a contest.
Why
by Annie Lennox
"Besides...
Why can't you see this boat is sinking
(this boat is sinking this boat is sinking)
Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...
Why
Tell me...
Why
This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel ?
'cause i don't think you know how I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
You don't know what I feel"
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Author's Note:
Mmmmm… Angsty goodness!
So? What do you think? I'd love to know!
By the way, this is going to be part one of a series. The others are life from Ranma's point of view, and life from Akane's point of view (in the context of this storyline, of course). I'm looking for beta-readers right now, so if your interested, email me at nos_seratu@yahoo.com. Whee!
My Regards,
Nos Seratu