Chapter 5. Alone All Night
When Chandler first arrived, Joey jumped up to answer the door. "There you are! We were all so worried about you!"
"We?" Chandler took a step back. "Monica's not here, is she? I don't want to see her."
"No, she's not. I swear."
So Chandler came inside, and Joey shut the door after him. He glanced at the clock and wondered if Phoebe had found Monica yet.
Chandler sat down gloomily on the yellow couch. "So, you've heard the news from the blushing bride?"
"Chandler! This is all just a big misunderstanding."
"Sure!" he replied skeptically, then took out a carton of cigarettes from his pocket.
"What?!" Joey rushed to take the carton away. "Hey, no, you're not smoking those."
"I need them! Let go!"
"No! I won't let you start again."
"Come on, if I don't start smoking over this, what should I start for?"
"Nothing!" Joey finally wrenched the carton away and stomped on it, then threw it out the window into the street below.
Chandler moped on the couch. "You could've just let me hold one."
"Sorry, Chandler. It's for your own good."
He scoffed. "I bet getting married is for my own good too. Why else would Monica arrange the Bing-Geller wedding without telling me?"
"Chandler, it's not like that."
"What, you believe her when she says she signed us up just for fun? Fun, she says! Marriage isn't fun--not where I come from. For us Bings, marriage is all about misery, divorce, and traumatizing your kids..."
"Chandler," Joey tried to hush him and put an arm around his shoulder, but Chandler turned away from him and swallowed uneasily.
"I can't marry her, Joey, I can't!"
"You don't have to!"
"You tell Monica that!"
Frustrated, Joey got up and snatched a couple of beers from the fridge while Chandler brooded some more. Making sure that Chandler didn't see him, Joey took Phoebe's advice to mix in a little of the herbal drink into Chandler's beer, not knowing that Phoebe had misled him about the effects of combining the drink with alcohol.
Joey returned with the beers and sat next to him again.
Chandler took a deep breath and shook his head. "What am I going to do?"
"You should calm down and listen to me. Phoebe told me all about it, okay? Monica thought she was signing up for two years from now. She was just, I don't know, daydreaming about the future."
"The future." Chandler grimaced. "I'm not ready for it."
"You don't have to be, not for two years."
"What if I'm not ready then?"
Joey shrugged. "She's not gonna force you."
Chandler drank his beer, not even noticing the odd taste of it.
***
The night went on, and Joey did his best to convince Chandler that the two years wasn't some kind of cast-in-stone deadline, but he got nowhere. He wished that Phoebe and Monica would arrive already, or at least that Rachel would come home and help him out.
As they kept talking and drinking that night, Chandler became a complete mess, babbling about not being ready, not being asked, and not being sure he wanted to trust Monica and live with her anymore.
"Don't say that!" Joey pleaded with him. "You belong with her."
"Belong? I don't want to belong with her, or to her, or anything else! I just--I don't want commitments. I want..." Chandler trailed off and felt strange.
"Look, Monica knows you; she knows you're not ready yet. Why would she want to scare you off?"
"Because I'm not Richard, maybe?" He took another gulp of beer and whined, "You know, Richard smoked cigars and she didn't make *him* quit."
"Well, you're better off than he is, okay! She loves you, and you love her."
"Maybe I don't anymore."
"That's not true!"
"Don't tell me what I feel!" He hiccupped suddenly.
Joey frowned and didn't know how to reason with him. Nor did he understand why Chandler was so affected, after not that many drinks. As a precaution, Joey took away Chandler's beer.
Chandler glanced around his old apartment, becoming wistful. "You've got the life, Joey! Any girl you want. No commitments."
"No, *you've* got the great life, Chandler. It's lonely here sometimes, when this place is all empty."
"If you're lonely, you can get a girl."
"That's not what I mean! Sometimes, I think I really want what you and Monica have. The trust, the love, the being comfortable together."
"There's no trust anymore!"
"Chandler!"
He shrugged, then got more emotional. "Joey, Joey," he whispered, reaching for his arm. "I can trust you, right?"
Joey came closer. "Of course, Chandler! You're my best friend."
"Yeah."
He nodded and looked in need of a hug, so Joey gave him one and pat his back encouragingly. "It's okay, Chandler. I'm here."
Chandler held onto him. "Can I, um, can I move back in with you?"
"What?" Joey sat back, shocked. "No, don't do that! You belong with Monica."
"No I don't! Listen, you, uh, you tell Rachel to move back with Monica, or, or Ross. Or get her own damn apartment!"
"You don't know what you're saying, Chandler. You're--you're drunk or something."
"So! Monica was drunk when she slept with me. She didn't care."
"Chandler, listen to me. You're happy with her. This is just one bad day!"
"It's not--it's not just--" Chandler stammered and looked into Joey's eyes. "Did you--did you, uh, mean what you said?"
"What?"
"You weren't just being nice before? Just, uh, humoring my crush on you?"
Joey got up and hurried across the hall, frantically looking for Phoebe and Monica. But when he went inside, he just found an empty apartment. "Phoebe?" He checked the bedrooms too, then glanced into Ross's apartment across the street, but the drapes were closed. "Huh?"
So Joey got on the phone and called Ross's number, but only the machine answered. He even called the coffeehouse, but Gunther said none of the gang were there, then asked Joey why he hadn't shown up for his shift lately. "Oh, uh..." Joey told him that he quit a long time ago, but forgot to tell Gunther. "Sorry."
"Oh, that's cool. I was going to fire you anyway." Gunther hung up.
Not knowing what else to do, Joey returned to his apartment, and found Chandler lying on the floor.
"Chandler! What happened?" Joey rushed over and helped him back onto the couch.
Chandler looked a bit dizzy. "I-I was following you."
"What? Look, you need some coffee or something." Joey went to the fridge and searched for anything non-alcoholic, but he couldn't find anything besides Phoebe's herbal drink, which apparently was too strong for Chandler. And he didn't want to leave Chandler alone again.
So he settled for getting a glass of tap water with ice.
"Joey?" Chandler called from the couch, trying to turn around slowly. "Where'd you go?"
"I'm still here. I'm coming." He came back and helped Chandler sip the water.
"Don't--don't go," Chandler clung to Joey's shirt.
"Yeah, I'm here. You just drink this, okay?"
"Okay." Chandler cooperated and seemed a little more peaceful now.
"Good. You're not gonna be sick? Good." Joey calmed somewhat and watched Chandler's drowsy eyes, then he put the glass down.
After sitting together silently for a while, Chandler looked at Joey and whispered earnestly, "It--it was never about the money between us, was it?"
"What? No, never! You're my best friend, Chandler. My buddy."
"Yeah," he said, resting his head cozily against Joey's shoulder.
"You, uh, feel better now?" Joey brushed the hair back from Chandler's eyes.
He nodded. "Joey, you miss me, don't you? Living here?" Chandler hugged him tightly and wouldn't let go. "I miss you. I miss you so much." He choked up a little and confessed, "I wanted you to come live with us, but--"
Joey shook his head. "No, Chandler, you don't need me there! You shouldn't move back here, either."
He looked deeply hurt. "Don't you--don't you miss me?"
"Of course I do! Every day. But--"
Chandler interrupted, "Phoebe--Phoebe told me..." He paused and wasn't sure of himself.
"What, Chandler?" Joey watched his eyes again.
"She--she was teasing me for saying that Eldad smelled incredible, and she told me that when she massaged me, I would whisper your name in my sleep."
"What?!" his eyes widened.
"Joey," Chandler sighed longingly, stroking Joey's hair and smelling his neck.
Joey swallowed and gently pushed at Chandler to let go of him. "Phoebe's just messing with you. Remember that time she kept joking about you and me?"
"You and me," Chandler whispered, stubbornly clinging to him with desire.
"Chandler, don't!"
"What?" he looked hurt again, "You don't want me anymore? Or you didn't mean it when you said you did?"
Joey met his eyes and shook his head. "I-I want you," he admitted softly. "But--but not if it's going to ruin--"
"It's ruined already." Chandler clumsily caressed and kissed all over Joey's face, sighing his name all the while.
Joey resisted as long as he could, but soon succumbed to his crush and kissed Chandler's mouth intensely. Chandler kissed him back, and they sank against the couch together, until Joey changed his mind again and pulled away, feeling too guilty to go on.
"I, um, we should stop," he said urgently, sitting up.
Chandler tried to pull him close again, but Joey remained firm and got up, pacing around the room anxiously.
Joey wondered again why Rachel had not come home, and where Phoebe and Monica could be. When he noticed that Chandler had passed out at last, Joey put him to bed in his old room, then he retired for the night too.
When Chandler first arrived, Joey jumped up to answer the door. "There you are! We were all so worried about you!"
"We?" Chandler took a step back. "Monica's not here, is she? I don't want to see her."
"No, she's not. I swear."
So Chandler came inside, and Joey shut the door after him. He glanced at the clock and wondered if Phoebe had found Monica yet.
Chandler sat down gloomily on the yellow couch. "So, you've heard the news from the blushing bride?"
"Chandler! This is all just a big misunderstanding."
"Sure!" he replied skeptically, then took out a carton of cigarettes from his pocket.
"What?!" Joey rushed to take the carton away. "Hey, no, you're not smoking those."
"I need them! Let go!"
"No! I won't let you start again."
"Come on, if I don't start smoking over this, what should I start for?"
"Nothing!" Joey finally wrenched the carton away and stomped on it, then threw it out the window into the street below.
Chandler moped on the couch. "You could've just let me hold one."
"Sorry, Chandler. It's for your own good."
He scoffed. "I bet getting married is for my own good too. Why else would Monica arrange the Bing-Geller wedding without telling me?"
"Chandler, it's not like that."
"What, you believe her when she says she signed us up just for fun? Fun, she says! Marriage isn't fun--not where I come from. For us Bings, marriage is all about misery, divorce, and traumatizing your kids..."
"Chandler," Joey tried to hush him and put an arm around his shoulder, but Chandler turned away from him and swallowed uneasily.
"I can't marry her, Joey, I can't!"
"You don't have to!"
"You tell Monica that!"
Frustrated, Joey got up and snatched a couple of beers from the fridge while Chandler brooded some more. Making sure that Chandler didn't see him, Joey took Phoebe's advice to mix in a little of the herbal drink into Chandler's beer, not knowing that Phoebe had misled him about the effects of combining the drink with alcohol.
Joey returned with the beers and sat next to him again.
Chandler took a deep breath and shook his head. "What am I going to do?"
"You should calm down and listen to me. Phoebe told me all about it, okay? Monica thought she was signing up for two years from now. She was just, I don't know, daydreaming about the future."
"The future." Chandler grimaced. "I'm not ready for it."
"You don't have to be, not for two years."
"What if I'm not ready then?"
Joey shrugged. "She's not gonna force you."
Chandler drank his beer, not even noticing the odd taste of it.
***
The night went on, and Joey did his best to convince Chandler that the two years wasn't some kind of cast-in-stone deadline, but he got nowhere. He wished that Phoebe and Monica would arrive already, or at least that Rachel would come home and help him out.
As they kept talking and drinking that night, Chandler became a complete mess, babbling about not being ready, not being asked, and not being sure he wanted to trust Monica and live with her anymore.
"Don't say that!" Joey pleaded with him. "You belong with her."
"Belong? I don't want to belong with her, or to her, or anything else! I just--I don't want commitments. I want..." Chandler trailed off and felt strange.
"Look, Monica knows you; she knows you're not ready yet. Why would she want to scare you off?"
"Because I'm not Richard, maybe?" He took another gulp of beer and whined, "You know, Richard smoked cigars and she didn't make *him* quit."
"Well, you're better off than he is, okay! She loves you, and you love her."
"Maybe I don't anymore."
"That's not true!"
"Don't tell me what I feel!" He hiccupped suddenly.
Joey frowned and didn't know how to reason with him. Nor did he understand why Chandler was so affected, after not that many drinks. As a precaution, Joey took away Chandler's beer.
Chandler glanced around his old apartment, becoming wistful. "You've got the life, Joey! Any girl you want. No commitments."
"No, *you've* got the great life, Chandler. It's lonely here sometimes, when this place is all empty."
"If you're lonely, you can get a girl."
"That's not what I mean! Sometimes, I think I really want what you and Monica have. The trust, the love, the being comfortable together."
"There's no trust anymore!"
"Chandler!"
He shrugged, then got more emotional. "Joey, Joey," he whispered, reaching for his arm. "I can trust you, right?"
Joey came closer. "Of course, Chandler! You're my best friend."
"Yeah."
He nodded and looked in need of a hug, so Joey gave him one and pat his back encouragingly. "It's okay, Chandler. I'm here."
Chandler held onto him. "Can I, um, can I move back in with you?"
"What?" Joey sat back, shocked. "No, don't do that! You belong with Monica."
"No I don't! Listen, you, uh, you tell Rachel to move back with Monica, or, or Ross. Or get her own damn apartment!"
"You don't know what you're saying, Chandler. You're--you're drunk or something."
"So! Monica was drunk when she slept with me. She didn't care."
"Chandler, listen to me. You're happy with her. This is just one bad day!"
"It's not--it's not just--" Chandler stammered and looked into Joey's eyes. "Did you--did you, uh, mean what you said?"
"What?"
"You weren't just being nice before? Just, uh, humoring my crush on you?"
Joey got up and hurried across the hall, frantically looking for Phoebe and Monica. But when he went inside, he just found an empty apartment. "Phoebe?" He checked the bedrooms too, then glanced into Ross's apartment across the street, but the drapes were closed. "Huh?"
So Joey got on the phone and called Ross's number, but only the machine answered. He even called the coffeehouse, but Gunther said none of the gang were there, then asked Joey why he hadn't shown up for his shift lately. "Oh, uh..." Joey told him that he quit a long time ago, but forgot to tell Gunther. "Sorry."
"Oh, that's cool. I was going to fire you anyway." Gunther hung up.
Not knowing what else to do, Joey returned to his apartment, and found Chandler lying on the floor.
"Chandler! What happened?" Joey rushed over and helped him back onto the couch.
Chandler looked a bit dizzy. "I-I was following you."
"What? Look, you need some coffee or something." Joey went to the fridge and searched for anything non-alcoholic, but he couldn't find anything besides Phoebe's herbal drink, which apparently was too strong for Chandler. And he didn't want to leave Chandler alone again.
So he settled for getting a glass of tap water with ice.
"Joey?" Chandler called from the couch, trying to turn around slowly. "Where'd you go?"
"I'm still here. I'm coming." He came back and helped Chandler sip the water.
"Don't--don't go," Chandler clung to Joey's shirt.
"Yeah, I'm here. You just drink this, okay?"
"Okay." Chandler cooperated and seemed a little more peaceful now.
"Good. You're not gonna be sick? Good." Joey calmed somewhat and watched Chandler's drowsy eyes, then he put the glass down.
After sitting together silently for a while, Chandler looked at Joey and whispered earnestly, "It--it was never about the money between us, was it?"
"What? No, never! You're my best friend, Chandler. My buddy."
"Yeah," he said, resting his head cozily against Joey's shoulder.
"You, uh, feel better now?" Joey brushed the hair back from Chandler's eyes.
He nodded. "Joey, you miss me, don't you? Living here?" Chandler hugged him tightly and wouldn't let go. "I miss you. I miss you so much." He choked up a little and confessed, "I wanted you to come live with us, but--"
Joey shook his head. "No, Chandler, you don't need me there! You shouldn't move back here, either."
He looked deeply hurt. "Don't you--don't you miss me?"
"Of course I do! Every day. But--"
Chandler interrupted, "Phoebe--Phoebe told me..." He paused and wasn't sure of himself.
"What, Chandler?" Joey watched his eyes again.
"She--she was teasing me for saying that Eldad smelled incredible, and she told me that when she massaged me, I would whisper your name in my sleep."
"What?!" his eyes widened.
"Joey," Chandler sighed longingly, stroking Joey's hair and smelling his neck.
Joey swallowed and gently pushed at Chandler to let go of him. "Phoebe's just messing with you. Remember that time she kept joking about you and me?"
"You and me," Chandler whispered, stubbornly clinging to him with desire.
"Chandler, don't!"
"What?" he looked hurt again, "You don't want me anymore? Or you didn't mean it when you said you did?"
Joey met his eyes and shook his head. "I-I want you," he admitted softly. "But--but not if it's going to ruin--"
"It's ruined already." Chandler clumsily caressed and kissed all over Joey's face, sighing his name all the while.
Joey resisted as long as he could, but soon succumbed to his crush and kissed Chandler's mouth intensely. Chandler kissed him back, and they sank against the couch together, until Joey changed his mind again and pulled away, feeling too guilty to go on.
"I, um, we should stop," he said urgently, sitting up.
Chandler tried to pull him close again, but Joey remained firm and got up, pacing around the room anxiously.
Joey wondered again why Rachel had not come home, and where Phoebe and Monica could be. When he noticed that Chandler had passed out at last, Joey put him to bed in his old room, then he retired for the night too.