Thoughts, Series 2

Mina

You know, I've often wondered how separate Sailor Venus is from the real Mina Aino. How much of Sailor Venus immerses itself in my every day life. Since being Sailor Venus, my confidence has shot through the roof, my moral well being is much stronger. I know that those changes often come with age; indeed, my years since becoming Sailor Venus I'm less cautious, much more sure of myself. But I feel her, Sailor Venus, when I least expect it. When I become angry it takes over. Something inside me clicks and my temper flares almost uncontrollably and then like my my attacks, it's over and I'm okay.

I know I'm beautiful. I'm petite, long thick blonde hair, bright blue eyes, long legs and curves in all the right places. I look innocent but when I want, I can turn on the sex appeal. It's why I'm so rarely alone. Men don't care about my mind, that in reality I've got an IQ that rivals Ami's; they only want my body. I play up that insanely stupid blonde stereotype but acting more stupid and ditzy does nothing to find "the One." Men take what they want from me and then they go. Once they learn that I'm not into flings, that I'm looking for real love, they split. I know I have the girls to fall back on, that of anyone I know that are the most constant thing in my life. But having girlfriends do nothing to ease the eternal ache of loneliness I feel. Not even Artemis is of any help, not that he would be since he's the closest thing to a big brother or uncle I've ever had.

I've thought about asking Andrew if he'd like to go out sometime but only on a friendly date. Hes got Rina and is seriously committed to her. But for one evening I want a date with a man I genuinely like. I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not all the time and I want one night of being the real Mina Aino.

And I think I'm in love with him.

I know that I shouldn't even be writing this; if Lita were to find out she'd kill me. She'd tell me that it's impossible, that Andrew would never leave Rita and I'm crazy for even thinking it. But God, I want him!

He's perfect for me; I've never met anyone who is more right. Andew is incredibly good looking with his sandy blonde hair, his manly jawline, his muscular body that is often hidden by his loose shirts and apron he wears at work. He's so smart, so very smart! Andrew graduated from college third in his class with Darien one spot behind. And no one else but me and Rita know this but, since taking over the Crown Game Center, he's been going to business school part time.

Andrew is charming too. Practically all his business come from young teenage girls anymore and they come to see him. He's oblivious to it, of course, or at least acts like he is whenever Darien or I tease him about it. He insists it's his award winning chocolate milkshakes and while his shakes are good, they aren't what keep the majority of of Tokyo's school girl population coming back.

He once talked to me for an hour about soulmates, which means he's a total hopeless romantic. Rita's great and every-thing, but dreamer she is not, which is the appeal, Andrew says. He says it's good she's a realist because she'll help keep him grounded. I disagree. I think her realism, will only tie him down. A hopeless romantic like Andrew needs to be free and his soulmate is the one who encourages him to dream. I can sense that eventually he's going to see that Rita's wrong for him in that regard. The only problem with that will be getting him to look at me differently.

I'm the only one who had a crush on him to still feel for him. Lita was over him the second the next guy looking like her exboyfriend came into the picture and Serena's never been truly into him as she acted; Ami says that only happened because she was so into Darien but didn't want to be so her feelings were manifested into feelings for Andrew. (Once they had their first kiss, that was soon remedied.) But me...in the midst of all the men I've dated, I've always loved him. Maybe that's hindered by my relationships, me always comparing my boyfriends to Andew and that's probably true, but a girl's got to have standards and since Alan I've been without someone who embodied everything I want in a man.

It's getting late and I know that at any moment, Andrew will come out and declare he's closing and tell everyone to leave. Rita's come in the cafe just now so any chances I might have had to talk to Andrew alone are blown. I shouldn't be as bummed about that as I am. I know the routine; every night Rita comes collect her fiance' and they disappear into the back for a few minutes while customers gather their things to leave, and then they emerge breathless and trying very badly to hide the fact that they've been making out - Rita wears a lot of lipstick. He ushers me out, the last customer of the evening, bids me a friendly goodnight and then wraps his arm around her. I watch them for as long as I can before turning in the opposite direction, home to my lonely apartment and cold bed.

Then, just as I'm falling asleep, one of the girls will call, or Luna or Artemis, on the communicator with reports of trouble somewhere around town. And then for just a little while, Sailor Venus will make her appearance and I'll get to take all my frustrations out on the thing that decided to cause trouble and for one hour of the day, I'll be able to forget everything.

Until then, I'll be here until Andrew kicks me out..

~End~

AN: More nothingness. I've gotten to where if I just start writing in the mind of one of the characters, stuff will just come out without any direction and personally, I like that. I'm hoping that if I do enough of this, and stop watching tv all together, I'll get further on my unfinished fics. But once again, I hope you enjoyed it. ^_~